How long has it been since I last spoke? Three days? Four days? A week? Kei tried to remember. It was harder than one would think; then again, selective mutism made everything harder. It wasn't like Kei didn't want to talk – on the contrary, he had an opinion on just about everything and would love to tell some of the people in his classes exactly how stupid they were – but he just couldn't force the words out of his throat.

His speech therapist when he was little had said that he was a late bloomer. His speech therapist in his teens had said it was a form of autism. He knew the real reason but, shocker, didn't say anything about it, mostly because he knew it was dumb.

That, and he was selectively mute. That meant that he didn't talk. Duh.

From the day he started school, he had tried to make friends. Jesus, he tried. But whenever he opened his mouth, something condescending and rude came out of it. Or, when he wasn't being a complete ass to everyone around him, he was talking about his brother and volleyball. That stopped when he found that Akiteru had been lying, though; the only things that he seemed capable of saying to people outside his family were horrible and rude. Whenever he talked to a classmate, he felt like puking because he was just so awful to them whether they deserved it or not. Eventually, he just decided to stop inflicting his cruelty on other people and had started talking as little as physically possible.

He had been six.

Hinata Shouyou had not been the exception. Kei had been just as rude to Shouyou as he had been to anyone else and he had felt just as awful for doing so as ever. He didn't mean it, he really didn't, but Shouyou didn't know that. No one did, really, except for Tadashi, but Tadashi was basically family so he didn't really count. And yet, somehow, Shouyou had wanted to go out with Kei, though it had probably only happened by accident. Shouyou didn't mind how quiet Kei was and he had eventually gotten the full story.

During summer when Kei didn't have to leave the house, he would go silent for days on end. He knew it wasn't healthy and he knew it worried his family, but he couldn't cut it short. His silent episodes could last anywhere from a few hours to a month at a time, making everything harder. The longer silences usually coincided with his particularly bad depressive episodes, so they were especially awful.

Kei rolled over, closing his eyes again as he drew the blankets up to his chin. He had been in bed almost all day; it was already two in the afternoon and he hadn't been able to find the motivation to do much but roll over a couple times. He had turned his phone on and it kept buzzing, but he hadn't answered it. Too much effort.

Kei was half-asleep when the door to his bedroom slammed open, crashing against the wall. He sighed; it was bad when he didn't even have the energy to be surprised. The door clicked shut much softer than it had been opened and then there was a body between Kei and the wall.

That did make Kei open his eyes. Inches from his face were Shouyou's wide, worried eyes. He was close enough that Kei could see the light freckles that were scattered across his nose. Kei sighed through his nose and closed his eyes again. He didn't have the energy or the motivation to deal with Shouyou's hyperactivity at the moment.

"Kei, look at me." Shouyou's voice had never been so serious.

Kei obeyed, cracking his eyes ever so slightly. One of Shouyou's thumbs brushed the skin beneath Kei's eye, following the path that Kei knew was the edge of the dark purple bag beneath his eyes.

"Kei, have you eaten today?"

Kei opened his mouth to respond then sighed and shook his head in response when he found that he couldn't manage words. Another silent day, then.

"You haven't eaten, you haven't gotten out of bed, and you haven't responded to my texts." Shouyou's voice was soft in a way that Kei knew he didn't deserve. "It's another bad day, isn't it?"

Kei nodded. Yes, it was a bad day. In fact, it was at least the third bad day in a row. That's probably why I'm so hungry, Kei noted dully. Everything was dull on bad days.

Shouyou sat up and gently tugged at Kei's hand until he did the same. They leaned against the wall for a moment, Shouyou playing gently with Kei's fingers. It was quiet, which was normal for Kei but definitely unusual for Shouyou.

I must've really worried him, Kei thought, guilty coiling sickly in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm going to go get you something to eat, okay? You stay like this."

Kei could only nod in response. He watched Shouyou's blurry form exit the room, noticing that he left the door open. By the time Shouyou came back, Kei had managed to get his glasses on. It was an improvement, at least.

Shouyou brought in a plate of toast, kicking the door shut behind him. Kei was glad for the privacy; he hated being seen by anyone on his bad days, especially by his family. Kei nibbled silently on the toast while Shouyou leaned up against him, humming quietly. It was soft and comforting. Kei found himself enjoying the company, even though he still had no motivation to do anything and no desire to speak; he knew if he tried he would fail and then he'd just feel worse.

When he was done, Kei reached out and pulled Shouyou into his lap, settling Shouyou's back against his chest. He knew it wasn't much, but he was grateful for Shouyou – more than Shouyou would probably ever know – and he wanted to make sure that he understood that.

Luckily, Shouyou seemed to get it. He smiled and tilted his head up just enough to press a sweet, loving kiss to Kei's jaw.

"Feeling better now that you've eaten?" Kei nodded. "Good."

Kei smiled a little, tilting his head down to press his face into Shouyou's hair. Shouyou allowed it, contenting himself with tracing gentle patterns with his fingertips on the back of Kei's hands.

They fell asleep like that, content.