Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction. I really love the Maizai ship and have daydreamed about it a lot. I decided to write down those ideas, as well as some ideas I had about post-canon Tyzula. This takes place a few years after the end of Smoke and Shadow. It has the trope of Azula eventually coming home and accepting her crown again, while still mentally fragile (mental illness is not so easily cured in my personal experience). It's rated Soft M for lime in later chapters, language and some mature themes. I hope you like it.

All I've Ever Needed

x

prologue

x

Mai stood silent.

He was very close to her, and that was supposed to be dangerous, but it was not.

"You wanted to be alone with me?" he asked and she did not know. She was in too deep already and she had only just dipped her toe in the rough waters.

"Well, I think we might have something resembling friendship, by the standards of my past relationships. None of them have been healthy," Mai said dryly. She tried to look like she did not care, but he saw through it.

He looked right through her before he kissed her on the lips.

She began to pull away before she changed her mind and leaned in. Their lips were locked and her hand moved to his neck and it felt how kisses were supposed to feel. Or at least, it felt how she thought they were supposed to feel.

The moment he sucked on her lower lip she did break halfway free. He still had her by the arm, but the regrettable moment ended.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Mai said quietly.

He did not need to respond.

She knew what he would say about that.

x

chapter one

x

Mai stood in front of the Caldera Pier, staring at a Fire Lord on one knee, and she was laughing. She laughed and laughed and laughed and Zuko slowly slid back to his feet.

"What does that mean?" Zuko asked, clearing his throat.

"It means no," she said, which was easier than she thought it would be.

Zuko looked stunned. It reminded her of his sister; they shared that exact expression when surprised. Neither was often taken off-guard after their nightmarish childhoods, and so, when they were, it was a travesty.

"Why?" he asked quietly. He no longer looked as cheery as he did this morning.

"I've never lived my own life, Zuko," Mai fearlessly said, face to face with her boyfriend. "The answer is no, and I think it always will be."

"You can't say always," Zuko protested but Mai shook her head.

"You're not a real romantic partner. You're a habit of mine," Mai explained. It felt surprisingly good to say it aloud. "I'm a habit of yours. We would never be together if it weren't for my parents."

He obviously never thought that, but she did not feel a single pang of regret. It was her life, and she could do what she wanted with it. She never wanted to take that step until this moment, but she was right to take it.

"Habits aren't always bad," Zuko said.

Mai lingered on him for a few moments. He did look fairly pitiful, but Mai was not a person who ever showed mercy.

"This one is," she replied.

x

Three days later, Mai arrived at the busy Caldera tea shop after a slow walk. Two days ago, she received a letter inviting her to discuss a job. It was cryptic and weird, so she could not pass it up. The letter came from an ex-soldier who worked security for dignitaries, and Mai was fairly good at the soldier thing. She considered herself to be the most competent soldier in Fire Nation history, as a matter of fact. Then again, that was not much of a contest.

She walked inside and a man waved to her. He was pale; it was almost hard to notice the scars on his skin. There were at least ten of them.

When she sat down across from him, he poured her a cup of tea. She emptied it into a barren sugar bowl and said, "I'll wait for the server. I don't have the energy to get poisoned today."

He laughed. She, of course, did not.

"I want to make you an offer," said the man.

"Are you here because of Zuko?" Mai asked, because she could see it in his eyes.

"Technically, yes," the soldier said. "I told him I was looking for someone for this job, and he said you would be best at it."

"Mhm. What is it that I'm interviewing for?" asked Mai, cracking her knuckles one by one. She figured watching that would be more interesting than this conversation.

"We're cracking down on various different rebel syndicates," he explained. He made it sound even more boring than it was. "People who have done awful things."

"I've done plenty of awful things," Mai said firmly. "I'm not an enforcer of justice and I have no plans to become one."

"This isn't as exciting as you seem to think. We're trying to interview everyone in custody as extensively as possible. We're doing more than looking for certain people; we're building an archive of important information, names and examinations." He now sounded passionate about his work, and she felt bad for him.

"I'm also not a very good interviewer," Mai said honestly.

"You're not very good at letting people finish their sentences either," he said after unclenching his jaw. "There have been some who eagerly jumped at the opportunity to earn some points. There have been some who outright declined and I'm working on them."

Mai sighed. She knew what this was about. "So, because of my dad, you want my help? I don't associate with my father, and he doesn't associate with me, and I'll get nowhere with him. Perhaps you could ask one of his ex-mistresses."

She apparently did not know what it was about, because the soldier looked stunned. "I don't know why Fire Lord Zuko recommended you, but your father was a forthcoming man when bribed. No, the one source we most want—and most need—we haven't been able to get."

Oh, Mai had heard this before. Right before she was nearly gutted by a psycho bitch. "You're not going succeed at this. You've clearly never actually talked to royalty outside of fucking Zuko and his humble ways. No, people who are born royal are told they are divine and better than us in every single way, and that they don't need to answer to anyone. Unless you, uh, tuned out all of the genocide and public executions."

"Well, that statement puts you head and shoulders above your competition for the job. You're good at talking to royalty, it seems," he said, and Mai scoffed in response.

"I've talked to enough royalty to last more than one lifetime," she said, beginning to stand up. "I also think I have pissed off all three living royals at this point. I declined the marriage proposals of—oh Agni, that's why. That's why you're asking me. Let me give you the contact information of a girl who is much cuter than I am and just as experienced."

"Aren't you at all interested?" the man asked and she hesitated.

Mai opened her mouth to snap back that she was not, but it dawned on her that she. . .was. She was interested in something and that was alarming.

She asked, "How much does this job pay?"

x

"Ah, welcome," said a middle-aged man with a ring of keys and no power other than that. Mai did not thank him, and he looked aggravated by it. She knew that he would not say anything, however.

"I'm here to interview a person," Mai said. A person felt oddly better than saying Ozai. "Don't look so confused. Is it your first day on the job?"

"I'm not some secretary. You could be politer. I'm actually the warden of this prison but we are massively short on help. Perhaps you could apply for a job if you know so much." He sighed, closed his book and stood up. "Are you armed?"

"Define armed."

"Carrying weapons."

"Define weapons."

"Items that could be used to kill or maim other humans."

"Yes. I am armed, and I am not disarming. Aren't there bars in this place?"

He held out his hand. She sighed and decided it wasn't worth the trouble, and so she stacked blades on a table as he watched, puzzled by the sight. Mai held onto the one tucked between her breasts; she was not stupid. Her last altercation with an imprisoned royal nearly took her life.

"There are bars. Don't worry," he said with a patronizing glance.

Mai rolled her eyes and prayed this would end quickly.

The warden led her through the halls. They went past the ordinary wings. The Fire Lord had special treatment even when charged with numerous war crimes. Mai knew it was probably so that no one would attempt to kill him just to say they did, or the other way around, but she did not have enough faith in humanity to fully subscribe to that theory.

"Seems lonely out here," Mai said. She glanced out of the first window she had seen in some time. The view of the pier was depressingly spectacular.

"Not quite. He is popular, quite popular. It's actually a nuisance. The amount of unannounced visitors and person mail is difficult to monitor."

"That's pretty much your only job."

"No. I have to watch over all of the prisoners in a very important. . ." He trailed off. Mai ignored him. "You're less charming than most of the girls."

"Only most of them? I have to step up my game."

They reached the right room and Mai receded into her thoughts for a few moments. Memories flashed behind her eyes and none of them made sense together. When she reacquainted herself with her surroundings, the warden and three guards were staring at her and waiting for her to walk inside.

Bars separated the two of them, but he looked quite cozy. It was better than Mai imagined; he was at a desk and surrounded by things. It was like a scene into Zuko's office, which nearly made her laugh. He saw her and his eyes made her feel chilly.

"You're still alive," the former Fire Lord remarked, as if impressed.

"So are you. That's more surprising, I think," Mai replied, remaining as disinterested as possible.

"Why are you here?" he asked.

"To talk to you," she answered.

"Why?" He sounded as smug as ever. Mai should not have agreed to this.

"Because I feel like it. That's why." She sighed. "I'm supposed to be interviewing you or something. They gave me questions I'm supposed to ask. I promise to not be as crazy about it as your children, because I really don't care that much about who gets killed by who."

He said nothing for a few heartbeats before turning to the warden—who had his arms crossed and his back too straight—and said, "Are you going to offer this girl a chair?"

"Why should I?" asked the very self-important warden, looking between the lowly guards. They were frozen in place.

Fire Lord Ozai said, "Because it's common courtesy and she might be here a while."

"Do you want a chair, Mai?" asked the dear warden.

"I'll stand," she said dryly.

Ozai broke the silence by saying, "How's Zuko?"

"Do you care? I don't," Mai said too hastily. No; she gave too much of herself.

"That's a very hostile response," he commented, meeting her eyes for the firs time. Before, he put extra effort into making her feel worthless. Or, at least, he tried. Mai was used to being on the receiving end of every tactic in that book. He must have written it, however, she realized. Or maybe his father.

"I'm a very hostile person, especially when asked about my bad habits," Mai replied.

"Is that what he is to you? A . . . bad habit?" He looked pleasantly surprised.

"Can I ask my questions or not?" Mai demanded.

"Do you hold respect for anyone other than yourself?" he said, which she took as a compliment. She was succeeded at making him feel unimportant, and that was satisfying.

"I hold respect for people who have earned my respect, not people who think they deserve it by right of birth," she said.

He laughed. She wanted to stab him.

"Agni, she fucked you up," he remarked. She genuinely considered stabbing him.

Mai refused to answer that. He wanted her to react, and she hated giving people what they wanted. "Well, the question of nature or nurture seems unimportant at this point. I think I want that chair now." She turned to the warden and it took him several moments to realize what she meant. He left the room, but he would return swiftly.

"Why do you think I'm in here?" Ozai asked and Mai did not know where that came from.

"I'm asking the questions," she said.

"Why do you think I'm in here?" he repeated in the exact same tone.

"Because people with more power than me think you should be. It doesn't matter to me. It doesn't affect me, actually," Mai said.

"You get to ask a question now. Choose carefully," he replied.

"Just take the damned paper." Mai handed it to him the moment the warden returned with a subpar seat.

Mai grabbed it from him and sat down. Her knees touched the bars, but just gently.

He looked up at her and met her gaze. "I'm not answering any of this. You will have to try so much harder."

"I hate trying. You should know that about me by now," Mai said.

He asked her a very common question this time. "What do you like?"

"I'm not answering any of this. You will have to try so much harder." She smiled slightly.

The warden cleared his throat and the tension vanished as if it had never existed.

"I'll answer one of these, as a consolation prize. You did show up after all." A desperate grab for power. Mai wondered if she really was the right person for the job.

"A prize is a prize, your . . ." She cut herself off before she could finish that honorific.

He handed her the paper through the bars.

She knew it was time to leave.

x

Mai returned to an empty house. It was too grandiose, too near the palace, too dusty. She hated her family estate, but she was in charge of it. Mai never liked being in charge of things, but she never could get herself to stay a bystander either.

Agni, she fucked you up.

Mai had about a thousand witty responses to that comment, in hindsight. She was certain he saw that it bothered her, no matter how practiced her face was.

As soon as Mai reached the front hall mirror, she lifted up her dark hair to reveal a very new scar. Freshly healed, but no longer colorful. Her attempt to talk to Ozai was significantly more successful than her attempt to talk to Azula.

Ozai said frustrating things. Azula tried to slit Mai's throat with her own knife.

Her interaction with Ozai was also probably better than any interactions with Zuko since she began to tire of their relationship. Relationship. It was not one of those, but there was not a better word for it.

She picked up the paper for the first time and looked at the answer he wrote.

I have a lot of friends, he replied to the question about names of rebels—something Mai considered too forward to yield results—, and I can't be expected to remember all of their names in under ten minutes.

That was helpful.

Mai would turn it in to Zuko's pet soldier and that would be the end of it. She would not get any further with the former Fire Lord than anyone else. Perhaps she should at least be flattered that they thought of her. She was not, but she should be.

Someone knocked on her door. That was a rare occurrence. They probably got the wrong house.

Mai walked back down the shadowy hall, abandoning her quest for matches, and opened the door.

"Oh, you are kidding." Mai had very few friends, and she worked as hard as she could to not remember their names.

This one was easier to ignore but harder to forget.

"Mai! I heard you broke up with Zuko!" shrieked Ty Lee.

"How did you find out about that so quickly?" Mai asked, baffled.

"I was in town!"

"Please stop yelling . . . It upsets my cat." Note to self: get a cat before Ty Lee notices.

Ty Lee put one finger to her own lips. "I'll be quiet. I was thinking I would stay with you, because you are a friend in need."

"Stay at the palace. It's close enough for you to soothe my inevitable night terrors after breaking up with Zuko for the eightieth time."

Ty Lee said in earnest, "You count times you two broke up? This is worse than I thought."

Mai did not know how to respond to that.

"Why are you in town?" she said instead.

"Oh, helping Zuko with a job," Ty Lee replied, waving her hand.

"I did the same thing earlier. He hired me to interview Fire Lord Ozai." She did not have the sense to cut out that honorific. It just was not possible to detach his name from that title, without forethought.

"That's scary. I'd be scared." Ty Lee smiled. "He hired me to help a friend in need."

"He hired you to help me through my break up. I didn't know he had an ego."

"No, but I'm here for you." Ty Lee grabbed Mai's arms and squeezed. Mai remained limp. "But actually here for . . . Azula."

"Don't get stabbed," Mai said, crossing her arms.

"I don't carry knives," Ty Lee said. She smiled, but then frowned, as if noticing how cold the air between them had become.

"That's good for you. I have no idea why you would do something that stupid."

"I'm like the only person he calls for stuff like this."

"You're not living in my house," Mai said.

"I'm not planning on it. I was just so sad that you moved out of Zuko's house! Sorry, sorry, I'm yelling again. I'll upset the kitty," Ty Lee said, swaying slightly.

"I never actually moved in. I was just there a lot, because the alternative is this place." Mai gestured at the nightmare of a manor. "I also don't have a cat, but don't yell anyway."

"You should get one," Ty Lee stated.

Mai shook that thought off. "Wait—what is he doing with her this time?"

"Stuff," Ty Lee said, squinting. She looked reluctant and Mai had no desire for more information. "I've got my own atrenda."

"A-agenda. Ty Lee, agenda. How could you get that. . .?"

"That's what I said." Ty Lee scowled. "Now, are you gonna make me tea or are you a bad friend?"

Mai sighed.

The torture never ended.