Dean was screaming your name in a deep, panicked voice. You could see him, see his mouth moving, but you could barely hear him, his voice seemed muffled, like it was miles away.

He grabbed your shoulder and shook it, trying to get you to look at him. His beautiful face going in and out of focus, you blinked your eyes trying to see him more clearly.

"Y/N," he called again, and this time you hear him. Your eyes widened and his image sharpened.

"Dean…" You sighed, your voice sounded strange, alien to your own ears.

"Y/N… Y/N… look at me sweetheart. What did you take?" Dean's green eyes ran over your face, full of worry. You reached up and placed your hand on his cheek feeling his rough unshaved skin. Your eyes fluttered closed.

Dean shook you again. "Y/N! Stay awake baby… come on! Sam!" He called for his brother through the bathroom door. "Sam! Now!"

Sam came running, crossing the motel room in a just a few steps. He stopped in the doorway and gasped at the scene before him: "Oh my God… Dean…" You were slumped down on the floor, back against the tub. A bottle of Jack and two small orange pill bottles sat empty next to you. Your head rolled back against the tub, eyes closed, as Dean tried to keep you awake.

"Sammy start the car. We gotta get her to a hospital."

Sam turned and ran to get the car; Dean put his hands on the sides of your face. "What did you do?" He cried, tears flowing freely down his face. "Y/N come on baby…"

He stood up and lifted you into his arms. You opened your eyes and tried to wrap your arms around his neck but they were too heavy. Dean carried you quickly out of the dirty motel room, your head falling onto his chest. You managed to grip the collar of his flannel shirt and pull on it, crushing your face against him.

"Dean?"

"Just hold on baby.," he said as your eyes closed again and you felt yourself slipping away. "Y/N?... Sam! Drive!"

The steady beeping woke you up. The noise and the bright lights gave away your location the moment you opened your eyes. Your head pounded and your entire body ached. You lifted your head slowly and saw Sam sitting next to your bed. He sat near you, his head in his hands watching you. He looked traumatized, eyes unblinking as he watched your chest rise and fall. Dean was asleep in a chair by the window, head down, arms and ankles crossed.

"Sam?" You managed to whisper to him, your mouth was dry and your throat burned.

Sam's head popped up instantly. He reached over and grabbed your hand. "Y/N… how do you feel?" he asked gently.

You blinked a few times, assessing your own condition. "Not good" you groaned.

Sam shook his head and let out a heavy breath. "What the hell happened?" He demanded suddenly. "How could you do this to yourself? To us- to Dean! He's been a wreck. He sat here all day and night staring at you. I had to force him to move over there and rest. Y/N… what happened?"

"I don't know Sam! I'm sorry. I just couldn't do it anymore. This life - it's hell, you know it is. I can't do this anymore." You cried, tears running freely. "I'm so tired. Tired of all of it. I don't want to do it anymore. I can't. I'm sorry."

Sam sat up, practically in your face. "No. You don't get to check out. You don't get to do that. Why didn't you say anything? You could have talked to me." His voice was rising with every word till he was just about yelling at you, his eyes full of guilt. "I didn't know. Why didn't you talk to me?"

You sobbed, choking on your words, "Sam, I'm sorry!" You shouted back at him.

Dean was suddenly at your side, his hand pushing Sam's shoulder back. "Hey Sam, don't." he said before reaching down for your hand. He squeezed it and leaned over to kiss your forehead. He was crying, his tears fell wet onto your face. Sam sat back and then stood up to leave. "I didn't know," he said again before walking out of the room leaving you and Dean alone.

You closed your eyes trying to stop crying. Dean took the empty seat, holding your hand in both of his. You couldn't bring yourself to look at him. If Sam had reacted like that, you were scared to find out what Dean would do.

He took a deep shuddering breath and you finally opened your eyes to look at him. He wasn't mad like Sam had been: he was sad, crying and hurt.

"Y/N, I…" he started to talk but his voice cracked and failed.

"Dean I'm so sorry." you whispered, hating the look on his face, the tears he was spilling over you.

"Baby, whatever happened, whatever made you do this, we can fix it. I can fix it. I'm so sorry. I thought…I thought I was gonna lose you forever." You reached for him with your free hand and he leaned down so you could hug him. "I love you Y/N. You know that, don't you? I love you so damn much…"

You held him tightly around his neck and felt his arms close around you and buried his face in your neck.

"I'm so sorry Dean." You said again, feeling his body shake against you. "Tell me what to say, I'll say it. Tell me, please."

Dean pulled back and wiped his face with the back of his hand. He sat down on the bed next to you and grabbed your hand again pressing it to his lips. "Tell me you love me…" he said

"I do! I love you so much Dean." You said instantly.

He held your hand a little too tightly and looked into your eyes. "And tell me you won't do this again." You looked at him, unable to answer. "Y/N, promise me." He said forcefully, his voice was shaking again. Your heart broke watching his face contort, pain and fear mixing into his features. "Promise…" he pleaded.

"I promise." You said, tears returning to your eyes.

Dean sighed and leaned forward touching your forehead with his. "I love you." He said as he closed his eyes and kissed your lips softly.