Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants. I stand before you to sit behind you to tell you a story I know nothing about.

Disclaimer: We don't own Happy Tree Friends.

Our story starts off as a normal day for me, I was just PMing proud Tiny But Mighty member Ashdash. For anyone that doesn't know, Tiny But Mighty is my group of Happy Tree Friends fans that believe Lumpy is a genius and Sniffles is an idiot.

All of the sudden, Ash presents quite the interesting but simple question to me: "If you had to choose between getting lost and only found Handy and had to ask him for directions or being forced by Sniffles to help him with an experiment, which one would it be? :p"

Of course, I pick the former but, without warning, we both find ourselves in the middle of the former. Sniffles is putting pieces of invention together and turns to me. "Could you please give that chemical that says 'sarana' please?"

Naturally this is confusing as all hell. "Wha?" Then I scream. "Ah! How did I get here?"

Sniffles is unfazed by the question and simply answers. "Oh I brought you here."

I start throwing a temper tantrum. "But I don't WANNA be here! Send me back!"

"Oh, uhh...I..I can't! I don't have the invention that teleports people back! B-but I'll try!" Sniffles runs over to other table to make blueprints of teleporting invention.

"No! No! No! No!" I go to run out front door only to find a brick wall. "Wha?!"

Sniffles sees this and explains. "Oh that! I figured that with the teleporter, it made sense to block off all the other entrances!"

"So I'm trapped?! Doomed to die at the next invention of the supreme idiot!"

Finally, Ashdash cut in with a sarcastic, "Good job, Sniffles!"

"Don't encourage him!" I shouted to her.

"I know. I'm a genius. Now onto the teleporter!"

Despite being trapped her as well, Ashdash seems to find this situation hilarious, "I was being sarcastic silly! Hey, Sniffles, are you sure you're a genius?"

"Of course I am! I built a teleporter!"

"Are ya sure it's not gonna break down or blow up like your other ones?" Ashdash asks.

"Well, the one that brought her here didn't." Just then, the one that brought me here blows up. "Never mind."

"Welp…" Ashdash thinks for a moment. "...Sniffles, why don't you invite Lumpy over to help you make another teleporter?"

"Oh right! Lumpy!" Sniffles starts to go to call Lumpy.

"Yeah! He'll be able to help!" Ashdash said, not realizing the issue either.

I grab Sniffles' arm luckily stopping him instead of ripping it off. "News flash, Lumpy can't get in here any more than we can get out."

"Why not?" Sniffles asked. "He's always welcome in my house."

"Because there's no entrance and the teleporter that brought us here blew up," I remind them both.

"Uh-oh," Sniffles says finally realizing the issue.

"Exactly! So we're alone!"

"Well that's okay. I can make another teleporter." Sniffles gets started on making blueprints for teleporter.

I actually got down on my knees praying. "Please oh please let this be the Sniffles everyone else sees for once."

"Hmm… aha!" Sniffles said to himself and started making the teleporter.

"Hey Sniffles, you should build it here." I said pointing to the brick wall blocking the original entrance, hoping that when the teleporter explodes it will take the wall with it.

Sniffles wasn't so sure. "Hmmm. Are you sure that's a good idea? It might not work over there."

"I'm sure and you took me here to help with your experiments, right?"

"Sorry but I really needed the help."

"Well, if you want my assistance, I need you to trust me and I think this is the best place to put it." I'm trying to reason with Sniffles! What is this coming to?!

"O-o-okay." Sniffles agrees and makes teleporter at the area I pointed at. I just watched in anticipation of the inevitable explosion. It wasn't long until. "…Done."

I was as far away as I could get. "Looks good but how about you test it on an object first?"

"Hmm…" Sniffles pulls an apple out of nowhere and places it in the teleporter. "Ready?"

I try to shield myself as well as possible. "Ready."

Sniffles pushed a button and declared. "It worked!"

I didn't come out of hiding. "What? Impossible!"

"Yeah. See? Where's the apple?"

"I don't know, I can't see anything from here," I said, not getting out of my hiding spot by even an inch.

"Then that must mean the teleporter worked! Come on!" Sniffles grabs my wrist and runs to teleporter. I try to pull back hoping my arm doesn't rip off. "What's wrong? We tested the teleporter and it worked."

I keep fighting. "What don't know what the apple is like wherever it is though!"

"Hmm… you think we should do another test?"

"I'm trying to figure out what we can test to make sure it got there safely. How about you test it and call me if you're safe?"

"That's a great idea!" Sniffles says and pulls out two walkie talkies and gives one to me then goes to the teleporter and activates it.

I look at the walkie talkie in my hand. "Is this thing gonna blow up?"

"Actually, I bought that from the store," Sniffles said before he disappeared.

Sniffles comes up on the walkie talkie soon. "It worked but I may or may not be in someone's house." I also here Flaky screaming in the background.

"Sniffles you fucking dumb ass." I say before turning off the walkie talkie. "Hey this is a pretty cool place when he's not here." I spot Sniffles' wallet on the desk and pocket it.

Then though, the teleporter glows again revealing Sniffles.

"What? No! You weren't supossed to come back!"

"I've gotta find another place for the teleporter. If it stays here, we'll end up teleporting to Flaky's house."

"Wait, so the location of the teleporter here decides where you teleport to? I'd say that was the stupidest thing I heard but I've seen way too many of your episodes for that to be true."

"Yes. Hmm, let's put it over here." Sniffles places the teleporter in the other corner.

"Alright, try it then. With any luck, that will be Flippy's house,"

"I highly doubt that." Sniffles enters the teleporter and activates it.

I suppose he must have wound up on Flippy's porch or something like that because I hear through the walkie talkie, "Well, at least I'm not inside." I hear a door open and "Oh, hi Flippy. Lovely day, isn't it? Hehe."

Soon, I hear a dark, evil laugh and throw the walkie talkie out the window causing the window to shatter and send the walkie talkie outside. "Wait, what? This whole time it was that easy?"

I climb out the window and find them just in time for Fliqpy to kill Sniffles then get hit by a chicken truck driven by Lumpy who puts on the break. "Woah!"

"Well, that was convenient. Hi Lumpy!"

Lumpy waves back at me. "Hello."

"You know, Lumpy, I think you're a genius."

"Really?" Lumpy asks.

"Yeah, of course I do. I mean, you were given half of Handy and half of Petunia and instead of giving up, you came up with the GENIUS idea to sew them together. And also choosing to pogostick to chase after Lifty and Shifty so that you didn't have to waste any time to get off it and into the car. How could anyone NOT think so?"

"Yeah! And what about the time I helped Flippy with his problem? Hmm… yeah. I am a genius!"

"Exactly! And if you ask me, that was doing the impossible! So, where are the chickens going?"

"The chickens are going to that barn over there." Lumpy points with his right index finger. "I own that barn!"

"Don't you own everything in this town?" I ask.

"Actually, yes."

"Wow! Even with a brain like yours, I'm amazed you can keep track of all that!"

"Why thank you. Would you like some chicken?" He held a live chicken in front of me.

"Well, I'd expect Lifty and Shifty to give me something for free before you so how much?"

"Hmm… ten dollars!"

I pulled Sniffles wallet out, dishing out a ten-dollar bill. "Deal!" I gave him the money and took the chicken.

Lumpy took the money and waved. "Thank you! Have a wonderful day!"

"You too! Kill lot's of Tree Friends!"

"Okay! Wait, what?

"Kill lots of tree friends. Isn't that always your job?"

"Not... really?

"Oh, well, do it anyways."

"Okay!"

"Just not me. I'm a person. Not a tree friend."

"Alrighty!" Lumpy says and walks off.

I look at the chicken truck he just abandoned and get into the driver's seat. Thinking about how I can't drive in the real world because I have a disability where I have no depth perception. "Sweet! I always wanted to drive something!" I then notice Lumpy has the keys totally killing it.

Lumpy notices me in the truck and walks back over there. "Need some help?"

I sigh. "I should have known you'd be too smart for that."

"What are you trying to do?"

"Oh well," I sigh. "I was hoping to drive it."

"To where?"

"I could take it to the barn for you. I mean, I don't know how far away the barn is but I have a better idea than Mole."

"Hmmm...okay." Lumpy agrees handing over keys.

"Sweet! Thanks Lumpy!" I start the truck.

"No problem." Lumpy walks off.

I start driving steering away from objects way too early causing me to hit other ones and run over a squirrel. "Ops, sorry, Nutty."

I eventually reach the barn leaving a long trail of destruction in my wake and looks back at it. "Hmm, so that's why's I'm not supposed to drive… that was fun!"

Cuddles and Toothy come over seeing the destruction I caused. "Whoa! What happened?"

"I drove a chicken truck!" I cane tap out of truck. "Not sure if the chickens back there are still alive but at least this one still is!" I hold up the chicken I bought.

"Oh cool!"

"Yeah, it's really fun to do when you have no sense of depth perception but I figured, Mole drives so why not me?"

"You should do that again and this time, you should take me with you." Cuddles insists.

"And me!" Toothy agrees.

"Okay," I open up the back. "No time to explain, get in the chicken truck and prove you're not yellow. Oh, wait, you are yellow, Cuddles."

"Alright." Cuddles gets in chicken truck. "Come on, Toothy!"

"Right behind you!" Toothy gets in chicken truck.

I get in driver's seat and warn turning back. "I just have one rule, no getting your blood on me when you die."

"Oh, we can't promise anything." Cuddles winks.

I give a sadistic smirk. "Well, you do come back and I do know some very nasty torture technics, Cuddles, your experience being buried alive and Toothy, your bike "adventure" will seem like a paper cut."

"Huh?" Cuddles and Toothy both ask.

"Just don't get blood on me and you won't have to find out."

"Okay."

"Good now keep your hands, feet, and eyes inside the truck or Russell might steal them?"

"Okay!" They keep hands, head and eyes in truck. "We're ready!"

I floor it!

As I drive, I hear Cuddles and Toothy call out. "Woooohoooo!"

I crash through the barn releasing cows, other chickens, and Pod Lumpy's to run wild. I look back obviously not looking at the road at all now. "Those things are still around?"

"Wooooooo! Hahaha!"

I'm laughing insanely. "You guys are awesome!" I crash through The Mole's house. I'm not always like this though, I'm either Flaky or I'm Cuddles. There is no in-between.

"I know I am." Cuddles says.

I look back to Cuddles and Toothy steering completely blind. "Anywhere in mind we can go in this thing? Lumpy's already going to have my hid when he finds out so I have nothing to lose."

"Hmm... how about the amusement park?" Cuddles suggests.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun." Toothy agrees.

"That's a great idea." I turn back to the road and turn the wheel rapidly trying to point in the right direction.

"Yaaay!"

I stop spinning and shot forward hoping this is the right way.

I turn back to Cuddles and Toothy. "Um, is this the right way?"

"Yeah, it's that way!"

"Sweet, let's see how fast we can get there alive!" I literally press the gas pedel to the floor.

"Woooooo! This is one of the best rides of my life!"

"Hasn't your life only been a few hours? Or do you mean your immortality?"

Cuddles thinks about that. "Hmm, probably both."

I crash through the turnstile to Lumpy Land. "Op, I think we're here..."

"Huraaaaay! You wanna come?"

"Yeah!" I slam on the breaks and duck.

30 seconds after truck stops Cuddles asks. "Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Without further warning, he runs to park.

Toothy follows. "Hahaha. Come on."

I follow them out trying to keep up and end up crashing right into them.

"Oh there you are. Hey, we should ride that one roller coaster I got Flaky into. It's right over there." Cuddles points upwards toward the north.

I look over at the coaster wondering which state it's in.

"Come on!" Cuddles says and runs towards the roller coaster *

I sigh. "I'm not a good runner." I run anyway crashing into them again. "This is not very efficient..."

"We're here!" Cuddles hops in one of the carts of the roller coaster. "Come on, guys. We didn't come over here for nothing." Toothy hops in a cart as well.

I hop in cart as well looking for any blocks of glass the thought suddenly crossing my mind that I might not come back like the do and immediately getting out.

"Hey, what's wrong? You're gonna miss out on the greatest ride in this amusement park!" Cuddles asks me.

"I'm not from this world." I motion to human body to prove point. "I just realized that I don't know if I'd come back if I die here."

"Oh. Well, how did you get here if—" Cuddles starts but is interrupted a the cart moves forward slowly.

"The idiot genius teleported me here. Well, into his house."

"That's not like Sniffles to teleport anyone into his house..." The roller coaster starts going up. "Woooohoooo! Hahaha!"

I watch wondering if I should even be standing this close. The roller coaster goes faster as it goes down.

"These things are weird to watch…" I accidently tap my cane against the frame. "Holy cats I'm close!" I move back.

The roller coaster falls out of the track and onto the ground in 3...2...1…

I freak out wondering if it's anywhere near me.

The roller coaster carts crash a few feet away from me, killing Tree Friends that were on the ride and their blood gets on me. I scream and start hyperventilating.

I hear screaming behind me and turn around still having an OCD attack. Flaky screams and runs off with corn dog in hand.

I have calmed down some. "Wow, I'm just running into everyone." I then see a pickle randomly lying on the ground. "Nope! Nope! Nope!" I run away crashing into a poll.

"Baaabaaa! Baabaabaa!" Lammy calls meaning, 'Mr. Pickels! Mr. Pickels!' She suddenly sees me running and asks. "Baaa baa baa baa baa?" Meaning. "Hey, have you seen Mr. Pickels anywhere?"

I answer in the like. "Baa baa baa baa baa." Meaning, 'He's over in that direction' pointing in that direction. "Baa baa baa baa baa." "I don't know how far.'

"Baa baa!" She says meaning 'Thank you!' and runs in the direction I pointed.

I run in the other direction running into the ticket counter. "Running sucks."

Suddenly, Lumpy. "Whoa, a remote to something. No doubt Sniffles made this."

"Lumpy, I wouldn't touch that if I were you."

"You're right." Lumpy takes a "grabby thingy" out of nowhere and grabs the remote with it and puts it in the nearest trash can. "There."

Finally, Ashdash appears from nowhere and pants. "What did I miss?"

"I drove a chicken truck!

"Awesome! The teleporter that was in Sniffles's house exploded right before I attempted to escape aaand... I had to dig a way out."

"Why didn't you just go out the window?"

"I didn't see a window anywhere in that lab. Lumpy, how dumb can Sniffles be?"

"I heard he once stuck his head out the bottom of a moving car while driving so I'd say infinitely." Lumpy answers.

"There was a window though, that's how I got out."

Ashdash face palms.

"What? Did you think I used the telelporter?"

"Call me stupid, but maybe."

"I would never use a Sniffles invention. That would be pure suicide."

"True."

"So yes, there was a window."

Ashdash face palms again. "Stupid me."

"You didn't seriously dig a tunnel under Sniffles' lab did you?"

"I may or may not have." Ashdash brushes dirt off shirt.

"Well, that's actually pretty badass."

"Thank you."

"Like, seriously, how did you tunnel so quickly?"

"How long did it take me?"

"I don't know. I was busy driving a chicken truck!"

"Probably about an hour." Ashdash said, making a weird face.

"So, yes, that's pretty bad ass. What did you even use to dig?"

"Can't remember. Either two spoons or a shovel."

"How do you even do that?"

"I have no idea to be honest with ya."

"Well, Lammy and Mr. Pickels are somewhere over in that direction. Should we get out of here and Lumpy here can go arrest them?"

"Sure. Where to?"

"Let's go to the Happy Tree Diner. I'm hungry."

"Sure." She agrees and starts walking. I cane tap along glad to be walking now.

In Happy Tree Diner, Ashdash opens the door. "Go on in." I cane tap inside and looks to see that Mole's working. "Oh, hey, Mole." She waves.

"Did you just wave at Mole?"

"Hey, it's funny." Ashdash looks for a place to sit, but doesn't find one. "Where do you think we should sit?"

"I guess we'll have to be Mime." I say and sit on nothing.

"Good idea." She sits on nothing as well and grabs a menu from nowhere. "Hmm, which one of these shall I have?"

I pull out own menu from nowhere. "Don't ask me, I need to focus on finding something Nutty would never eat." I say since I can't have any sugar.

"Ooh. They have egg rolls? Yummy. Very weird though because I hate cabbage and yet egg rolls mostly have cabbage in it. I'm gonna have egg rolls and..." She continues browsing through menu. "...hash browns."

I search menu for anything with chicken in it, still holding my chicken by my side. "Does the chicken beast have any sugar?

"Chicken beast?"

"Yeah, you pretty much have to ask on everything."

"Sorry. I wouldn't think chicken beast would have any sugar." We see a waiter coming to us. "I would like to have 5 egg rolls and 2 hash browns please."

"I'll have the grilled chicken breast and steamed broccoli."

Waiter writes our orders down. "What would you like to drink? We have water, Coca Cola, Sprite, whatever you want."

"I'll take coca cola, please." Ashdash orders.

"I'll just have a water."

Waiter writes down what I ordered. "Okay. That'll be 5 dollars."

Ashdash takes out a five-dollar bill.

The waiter looks at it weird. "What the heck is this?"

Even though I already have Sniffles wallet, I steal a random GTF's wallet and gives the waiter five Happy Tree Dollars than pockets the wallet. "They have a different currency, Ash..."

Ashdash blushes in embarrassment. "Oh. Sorry about that, hehe." She puts regular five-dollar bill back in pocket.

"And that's where kleptomania comes in handy. Well, actually, it comes in Lifty and Shifty."

"I'm not that good of a thief. And I thought they weren't kleptomaniacs."

"They aren't but I was trying to make a joke. But now I have two wallets full of Happy Tree Dollars."

"Ooooh, getting rich and not even have to do anything. Awesome!"

The waiter comes with our food and drinks and I remember we don't have a table. "Well shot, where are we supposed to put this?"

"Oh boy..." Ashdash steals a table from nowhere. "Now we do." She gets dirty dishes and napkins off the table and sets them on the floor. "Thank you, waiter."

"Works for me!" The waitor places our plates on the table. "Where did this story go?"

"Story?" she asks and takes bite of egg roll.

"This whole thing that trapped us in HTF."

"I have no idea to be honest with ya."

"Damn it, Sniffles! How did he even find us?"

"Where?" Ashdash asks, looking around.

"When he teleported us here from the real world."

"Oh, right. Dammit, Sniffles!"

"Any idea how to get home before we… you know… 'Get into the Happy Tree Spirit'?"

Ashdash shrugs shoulders. "We could try to make another teleporter that actually works?"

"Then we should get Lumpy's help. I wouldn't know where to even start." I say eating the chicken.

"Neither would I." she admits and takes another bite of egg roll *

"Then let's hope Lumpy does."

"I'm already hoping so."

"We'll ask once we finish eating."

"Good idea." She finishes first egg roll and takes bite of another *

"If anyone can get us home, it's him. The real question is WILL he?"

"Hopefully." She just continues eating egg roll. "These egg rolls are pretty good."

"I bet they are. So is this chicken."

"Hmhmm." She takes bite of hash brown. "This is also delicious!

I try the broccoli. "And the broccoli is cooked perfectly."

"Pfft, veggies." She snuffs and takes another bite of hash brown.

"Hey, I happen to like my veggies!"

"Eh, two each is own."

At least I'm healthier. And when we get back to the real world, I'll live longer.

"True. Veggies are good for you. Fruit can also be good for you, even though they have natural sugar." She finishes her hash browns.

"That doesn't hurt me. I love fruit. Every kind of edible fruit there is."

"As far as I know, I can accept any fruit, especially kiwis. Yummy nummy."

"What about lemons? I love lemons. I eat them like oranges."

"I don't think I've eaten lemons as far as I remember. I would like to try one someday."

"Do it! Not here though."

I look and she has lemon in hand. "Why not here?"

"Well, it's Happy Tree Town and that has acid in it. Who knows what could happen."

"The lemon could be so sour that it could burn my whole mouth?" She tosses the lemon aside.

"Or when you break it open, it will squirt straight into your eyes melting them." She just shivers. "This is such a pleasant place." I say sarcastically.

"And cute."

"Yeah, how can a town so full of death and despair always look so picture-esc?"

"I don't know, but they must be experts at it."

"Irony's the only explanation."

"Extreme irony."

I finish my chicken. "You ready?"

She finishes her hash brown, finds a bag, and puts the rest of food in bag. "Not gonna let this good stuff go to waste. Yeah I'm ready."

"Sweet, let's go find Lumpy then." I get up and push the invisible chair away with a metallic clang.

"Alright," Ashdash does the same thing I did.

"Now how can we convince Lumpy to help us." I think.

"I would tell him that we're from a different world and we need to find a way home. And if he doesn't believe us, then we'll show him evidence." She pulls out a dollar bill.

"How would that convince him to help us though?"

She puts dollar bill back in pocket. "I just thought if we told him, he might help. Do you have any ideas?"

"Well, he'd have to think he has something to gain from helping us. I can pinch some more wallets and we can pay him."

"Good idea. How many much would you think he'd accept? A hundred Tree Friend dollars?"

"I have no idea... Happy Tree Currency is very confusing. We'll just get what we can and see if it's enough." I lift the waiter's wallet.

"Sounds good to me." A Generic Tree Friend walks by. "Can you do the stealing?"

I already had that Generic's wallet. "I don't think that will be a problem."

"Goody. Out we shall go." She walks to the door.

I head outside still carrying my live chicken and the four wallets I lifted. "Hopefully this'll work."

"Need help carrying those?"

"No I got them." I look for more victims.

"Alright, let me know if you need extra hands."

"I'll be fine." I lift another generic's wallet.

"Okey dokey." We continue walking.

"See any unique tree friends that are easy targets?"

"Hmmm..." She looks around. "How about… Giggles?"

"Sweet," I go over to Giggles. "Hi, I'm new here, can you help me out with something?"

"Of course, what can I help you with?"

'Just get her talking' I think. "Someone mentioned something about a curse on this town or something. Is that true?"

"A curse?!" Giggles asks.

"Yeah, something about death?"

Giggles is slightly scared. "What about death?"

"Does it happen… a lot?"

"Actually, yes. It does happen every day."

"How is there still anyone here then? Wouldn't it run out of people to kill after a while?"

"I don't know. First, I die. Then come back perfectly fine. I think that's what happens to everyone as well."

Even though I obvious knew that, I look convincingly shocked. "That's insane! Well, is it usually fairly painless at least?"

"Hmm…most of the time, yes. Other times, it could be worse."

'Well, now you're just lying to me' I think. "Well, I guess that's something of a relief then."

Giggles does her namesake and says. "I guess you could say that."

I sigh. "Well, I guess I should be going. Thanks, Giggles." I walk back to Ashdash having taken the wallet during the conversation.

Giggles looks shocked and I realize that she never told us her name. Ashdash waves to Giggles and starts walking as well. "See ya, Giggles."

I whisper. "Bitch lied to my face. Generally painless my ass."

Ashdash whispers. "Eh. Unless a bullet was blown to the head, I doubt any death would be painless."

I shrug. "Still, the deaths here seem more that a little painful."

"Fragile bodies, more agonizing deaths, I'm guessing."

"That's obvious. She still lied to me though."

"Oh, Giggles."

"Makes me feel less bad about taking this." I take out her wallet.

"Hmhm. Sooo.. who do you think is our next 'friend' we should talk to?" She winks while saying friend.

"Hmm… hard to say. Petunia?"

Ashdash looks around and clearly doesn't see Petunia. "Where is she?"

I spot her and point. "Somewhere in that direction."

She looks in the direction I pointed and sees her. "Oh. Then let's goooo." She walks in her direction. I walk in her direction as well. "Would you like to be the talker, or would you like me to?"

"How about you go this time? Though, I'll still take it."

We go to Petunia and Ashdash greets. "Hello there, Miss Petunia. I've come to notice that you are a fan of flowers. Is that correct?"

"Oh yeah, I love them. They make everything smell so pretty and clean."

"Goody! Then I hope you don't mind telling me what types of flowers that you know in existence, would ya?"

"Um… sure…" she rattles off a whole bunch of flowers not noticing as her wallet's stolen.

Ashdash points to yellow flower. "That wouldn't happen to be a daisy, would it?"

"No, that's a morning glory but good guess."

"Ooo." Ashdash takes morning glory and smells. "Smells like morning. What's that blue one over there?" She points to blue flower.

"Oh!" Petunia picks it. "This is a petunia. My favorite flower if you didn't guess.'

"Hence your name?"

"Exactly! Here, smell." She offers the petunia to Ashdash.

She smells flower. "Oooo. Smells pretty. Blue also happens to be my favorite color." She looks at the flower on Petunia's head. "What about the one on your head?"

"Oh, that's a petunia, too. Just a different color."

"Petunias have different colors?"

"Oh yeah, most flowers do."

"Oh, hehe. I did not know that. What about this last flower over here?" She points to white flower.

"That is a daisy."

"Oooo." Ashdash smells the daisy. "Smells like a daisy. Welp, better get going. I appreciate you teaching me about these lovely flowers. See ya later." She starts walking.

"Well, that was a bit weird but at least I got the wallet."

"How much Happy Tree money do we have now?"

"We need somewhere a bit more private to count it all."

"That may be a problem because you-know-whos may you-know-what those." She points to the wallets. "Hmmm, how about... up in a tree at the park?"

"That could work, even though the average tree friend is much better at climbing trees than us."

"I wouldn't think they would look up in a tree for no reason, but you're right. Tree Friends are better at climbing. We could try, and hope a Frisbee doesn't get stuck in that tree in the process."

"Yeah, that's why I said it could work."

"Oh... Welp, let's head to the tree." We walk in the direction to the park.

"Is this park far?"

"I don't think so...? Getting tired of walking?"

"Kind of, yeah."

"I can see the park...and...we're here." She does a welcoming gesture, signaling we're at the park.

"Great, now to find a tree easy enough to climb."

"Hmmm..." She looks but sees 99% of them look the same. "That may be a problem- Wait! How about that one?" She points to a tree that looks a little lean-forward.

"Hmmm..." I jump and tries to grab a branch, but fails *

I try to reach branch with cane to figure out how high it is, then jumps and fails. "This is going to be hard..."

"Oh, you're right... Wait, what if we try climbing from the back?"

"Yeah let's try that, I'm glad no one can see us though and not just because that would ruin the point."

"The point of climbing this tree?" She jumps on tree, grabs hold of it and attempts to climb while quietly singing.

I try to help her.

She climbs up tree thanks to the boost up. "Thanks. Here, let me help you up." She lends me a hand.

I take her hands and manage to get up. "That was harder than I thought it was going to be." I sit on branch, fold up cane so it doesn't stick out of the tree, and take out the stolen wallets. "Now, let's tally our spoils."

"So far we stole 3 wallets."

"Three? Then where did these come from?" I show her the seven wallets.

"Whoa... How?"

"Let's see, this one's Sniffles' I took back in his lab, this one I took in the diner to pay for our meal, this one's the waiter's, this one's another Generic's from in the diner, now outside of the diner, then this one's Giggles' and this one's Petunia's."

"Oh, jackpot! So..." She takes some of the wallets and counts the money in each. "These three total up to... A hundred dollars."

So, about eight hundred dollars to us." I say noting that we're in the fifties. I count the other four which includes Sniffles'. "Wow, five hundred dollars. That's about five thousand all together. So glad I grabbed the failed anteater's. This should be enough to get Lumpy to help us."

"Actually, it's $1300, If you're saying 500 dollars is to us. Anyways, let's find Lumpy." She gives the money back to you.

"No, I said it's five-hundred Happy Tree Dollars." I put money away and try to get down from tree.

"Oh." She tries to help you get down from tree. "So where do you think Lumpy would be at now? As far as I know, he could be anywhere."

I get down successfully and help Ashdash down. "The last place we saw him was at his amusement park. If he's working there, he should still be there?"

She successfully gets down from tree. "Oh. Do you know by any chance how far the amusement park is from here?"

I look at her and wave cane. "You're kidding, right? Of course I don't know how far it is."

"We could... catch a cab? If we're tired of walking?"

"Given the collective driving skills of this town. I'll walk. Heck, it could be Mole driving."

"Okay." She starts walking and singing.

I follow hoping this will work.

We arrive at the Amusement Park. She keeps walking until I bump into me by accident. "Huh? Oh, hehe, sorry. Aw man, these rides look amazing." She realizes she's getting off topic. "Oh! Right, let's find Lumpy."

"There he is!" I point to him napping in his little station thingy by the rollercoaster.

"Oh thank goodness." She walks over there carefully and attempts to wake him up.

"I think I know what to do." I take cheese from his desk and wave it in front of his nose.

Lumpy smells cheese. "Mmmmmmm." He wakes up eating cheese, just barely missing my fingers.

"Lumpy, we really need your help." I say.

"Help? What do you need help for?"

"My friend here" I motion to Ashdash, "and I are from a different world than this. We need to get home and you're the only one smart enough to do it. We'll pay you for your help."

"Hmmm... How much will you pay me?"

Since I'm sure he'll raise whatever number I say… "About four hundred dollars." As predicted, Lumpy shakes his head and gestures for more money. "Five hundred?"

"Hmm... More…" He does the same thing again.

"Six hundred." I obviously hope he'll accept that because that's all we have.

"Hmmm..." Lumpy sees the look on my face. "Deal." He takes the six-hundred Happy Tree Dollars.

Lumpy counts the money to make sure. "How did you guys get here anyways?"

"Sniffles teleported us to his lab…" I answer.

"That doesn't surprise me." Lumpy puts the money in skin pocket. "Nearly all his inventions go terribly wrong. Wait, where was I? Oh yes, come with me and you'll be back into your own world in no time!"

I follow him and say to Ashdash. "Thank goodness we're Tiny But Mighty, imagine if we were those crazy people who think Lumpy's an idiot."

"I know, right?" Ashdash mocks crazy people. "Hey guys, let's ask Sniffles for all the help because he's the smart one... Sorry. Got carried away."

I mock crazy people back. "Yeah, he's the one that stuck us here but he won't mess up again." I laugh. "God, people can be so stupid."

"Hehehe. I couldn't agree more. Hey, Lumpy. Where exactly are you taking us?"

"To my house, there's not enough stuff to work with here. My slaves can watch over the park if they know what's good for them."

"Your trailer house or your farm house?" Ashdash asks.

"My farm house. My trailer doesn't have enough stuff either." He looks at us weird. "How do you two know so much?"

"We..we.. Were told by someone that you were like the ruler of this town, hehe. W-we met a couple of people before we looked for you." She lies looking a bit nervous.

"Oh alright... yeah… how stupid do you think I am?"

Ashdash was getting more nervous by the second. "N-not at all, sir. From what I've heard, you seem to be one of the smartest ones around here."

"Exactly, in fact, I distinctly remember this one." He points to me and I curse realizing where this is going. "stopping me and commenting that she thinks I'm a genius and listing very specific things I had done in the past. Now, try again and this time, I want the truth!"

Ashdash just looks over to me.

I say to her. "I don't see any other options." Then to Lumpy. "Fine, the truth is, in our world all of you guys' lives and deaths are an adult cartoon that we both watch for entertainment."

"Us, along with other people."

Lumpy thinks that over. "Alright, that makes sense."

"Thank you for understanding. So, Lumpy, how far is your farm house?"

"Just a few minutes away."

I suddenly remembers that I crashed a hole through his barn. I think. 'Oh shit.'

"What is it?" Ashdash asks apparently seeing my face.

I whisper. "I accidently punched a giant hole through his barn when I was driving a chicken truck."

She whispers. "Oohh."

"What was that?" Lumpy asks.

"I was just saying, from what I saw in the show, your farm house doesn't really have much scientific equipment either. Would there be somewhere better we could go?"

"Hmmm... Like where?" Lumpy asks.

"Well... I don't really know but you own everything, don't you?"

"Yes... Well, we could try the Daily Acorn building. It should be closed for the day."

"Yeah! That should be able to work."

"The only problem is: We need transportation. Because I don't feel like walking any longer!"

"Transportation?" Ashdash asks.

Lumpy spots the chicken truck by the entrance. "Oh look my chicken truck! Wait a second..." He turns to me remembering letting me drive it. "What's my chicken truck doing at the amusement park?"

I put up my hands in defense. "It was Cuddles and Toothy's fault! I took the chicken truck to your farm like I said I was going to!"

Ashdash says to Lumpy. "So, Lumpy, hehe, do you think the truck could be usable, or...?"

"It should be but it's Happy Tree Town so you can't really know until you try."

"That is true."

Lumpy goes over and tries to start the chicken truck.

We start walking towards the truck, but does not go too close, fearing I might get run over.

The chicken truck starts up without any obvious issues.

"Awesome!" I turn to Ashdash and say. "Come on, let's go!"

I get in passenger seat next to Lumpy so I have a seat belt as if it will help oh so much.

Ashdash sees me get in the passenger seat. "What?! I have to sit in the back?! Hmph." She gets in the back.

I smirk. "I got here first. If you wanted it, you should have been faster."

"Well, I'm sorry for being so…" She gestures to herself "...fat."

"Well, I have bad breathing problems and need to use this cane to know where I'm going. You should have been able to beat me."

She blushes out of embarrassment. "I'm ashamed of myself." She starts grabbing hold of the seat.

"Are you two done blabber mouthing yet?" Lumpy asks.

We shut up.

"Thank you." Lumpy says and starts driving to the Daily Acorn building.

We somehow make it to the Daily Acorn in one piece.

We get out of truck. "Phew, I just got a bit dizzy, hehe." She looks at The Daily Acorn building and whispers, "Whoa."

"Come to think of it, we've only ever seen the outside and one room in the show..."

"True. And only a few others work here as well."

Lumpy grabs keys from his pocket, revealing there to be a lot of different keys. "This may take a while."

I whisper. "Really shouldn't be surprised by that. I thought he'd be smart enough to label them though."

Ashdash shrugs.

Lumpy mumbles to himself while looking for the right key.

I whisper. "In hindsight, you think it was a good idea to ask the tyrant of a town for help to escape his jurisdiction?"

She whispers. "Uuuhhh... I don't think so…?"

I gulp then whisper. "Well, too late to turn back now."

"Found it!" Lumpy exclaims and unlocks door.

Lumpy opens door and walks into the building. "Come on in." We shrug and walking in while I hope that I'm wrong.

"Okay, what we need is to make a remote for this machine that we're gonna make. But first, we need to get to the top floor to do this." The three of us head to the elevator.

We get to the top floor to what's basically a lab. "Wow... I did not expect this to be here."

"Me neither."

"Now, to make the remote." Lumpy gets typewriter from nowhere and starts making the remote.

I whisper so he can focus. "Hmm… I was right, Happy Tree 'logic' does bend to Lumpy's will."

"Huh?" Ashdash whispers.

"He's making a remote... with a typewriter."

"Oh."

Lumpy finishes the remote. "Mmmhmm. Now for the device this remote controls!"

"Isn't that a bit backwards?" I ask.

"Huh?" Lumpy looks at the remote. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, most people would build the device then the remote. But if it works, it works I guess."

"It shouldn't matter what you make first, as long as you make it. And now, onto the machine." Lumpy starts getting stuff for machine.

I whisper to Ashdash. "Do you think this will work?"

"I hope so. This is Lumpy who's helping."

"True but it's a pretty out their invention even for someone as smart as him. I mean, I know physics and logic's broken all the time here but usually not in anyone's favor."

"I guess that's true."

"Hey, are you guys helping our not?" Lumpy asks as he puts a couple of metal pieces together.

We come over. "What do I need to do?"

Lumpy points to junkyard out the window. "You two go to the junkyard and grab as much metals as you can hold. But only medium to large metals, not tiny and useless ones."

I nod hoping that isn't far away. "Alright, come on, Ash." I head to elevator.

"Okay." She follows me to elevator.

Once we're in elevator I ask. "So, how far is the junkyard? Also, we need a way to get the metal from there to here."

"Hmmm..." she shrugs. "I'm sure we'll find something."

"Think we can use his chicken truck?"

"Sure." She gets in passenger seat of chicken truck.

"Wait, I'm driving again? Cool!" I get in driver's seat* Um… he took the keys...

"I'll get the keys for you." She gets out of truck and goes back in building.

After a while, she comes out. I lean out window. "Did you get the keys?"

She shakes keys to let me know she has them.

"Sweet, hand them over then."

She tosses keys to you and walks over to the passenger seat while singing random words.

I start chicken truck and point it in the direction of the dump. "Alright, Ash, I'm going to need you to be my eyes."

"Okay. Wait... what?"

I wave my sight cane. "I have no sense of depth perception, remember?"

Ashdash turns Flaky suddenly and talks in high pitched voice. "O-okay."

I park truck, gives the keys to you, and gets out. "You're the one who got in the passenger seat. Took you long enough to realize that was a terrible idea."

Ashdash takes the keys and gets in driver's seat. "Honestly, I've never drove before. So I'm gonna warn you that this ride may get bumpy." She starts the truck.

I get in passenger seat though visibly nervous. "Still better than me driving."

"Phew. Okay." She puts the gear on reverse to back up and then puts it on drive.

I hold onto handle at top.

She starts driving and looks over for a quick second to see me. "What are you doing?"

"Umm… bracing myself?"

"Okay." She tries to whistle, but fails and instead hums.

I giggle. "Can't whistle?"

"No. But I can hum. That should be a talent." She uses brake because we're at the junkyard and puts it in park.

I get out of the car. "Well, at least then you don't have to worry about any crazed dogs."

"That's good news. And I can't believe I forgot about the dogs." She sighs. "I need to work on my memory." She gets out of car and walks into junkyard and we see the metal crusher from Chew Said a Mouthful.

"So, large scrap metal, right?"

"Yep." We go over to pile of metal away from the crusher. And collect some metal put it in the truck by the handful talking all the while.

"How much do you think we need?" Ashdash asks.

"I have no idea, but it would be better to have too much than to have to come back."

"True. I'm gonna go ahead and grab a total of.. Five handfuls."

"I'll get the same amount then."

"I feel like I've never done this much physical work in a long time. Probably because I haven't?

"I know what you mean. Me too."

"For me, I'm just lazy."

"At least now you have some pretty strong motivation to."

"Eh. You think that's enough metal?" She asked.

"I think so…"

"Alrighty then." She opens truck door and gets in the driver's seat and sings, "Let's gooowoooowoooo!"

I close the back of the truck and get in passenger seat. "Good, I wanna get out of this hellhole!"

She starts engine and drives. "Never been in a junkyard before... Until now, of course."

"Really? I have."

"I don't really get out much." Ashdash shrugs.

"Well, now we've both got out much more than we wanted or ever want to do again. It's far too late for these creatures but at least we can escape…"

"Hm..." She stops. "We're here."

I get out and start. unloading the metal but stops thinking and pointing out. "We can't carry this all inside in one go..."

"You're right. Hmmm... Should we get a couple of friends to help, or find at least a wheelbarrow?"

"Let's just stick with a wheelbarrow. There are very few tree friends I can trust in this town."

"I don't blame ya. I hardly trust anyone in our world." We search for wheelbarrow.

"Who would most likely have a wheelbarrow. Handy would make sense. So would Petunia."

"What about... Oh wait.. Never mind. Let's ask Handy. He's like right over there." She points to Handy over by the sidewalk.

"Ask? I was hoping to… alright." I sigh and we go over to Handy. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Huh? Who are you?" Handy asks.

"Umm…" I decide to go with the partial truth. "We're new to this town but we actually want to get out because we found out what goes on here."

"Oh, okay. Well, what can I help you with?"

"We need to transport some supplies that we can do emp… alone. We were wondering if you had a wheelbarrow or something we could borrow."

"I should have at least a couple back at my house. It's not really far away."

"Oh, thank you!"

"No problem. Follow me." Handy starts walking to his house and we follow.

A few seconds later, Handy calls. "Here we are. The wheelbarrows are right over there." He attempts to point, but realizes he doesn't have any hands.

I try not to laugh as he does his scowl seeing where he meant to point. "It's alright. We can get it from here. Thank you..." Having learned from Giggles not to say their name so knowingly, I say. "Oh! I'm sorry, I never did learn your name."

"My name's Handy. And yours?"

"Handy? How unfortunate…" I figure first names would sound too weird to him. "I'm Freak and this is Ash."

Ashdash waves. "Hello."

"Oh. Sorry. Didn't see you there. Hello. Anyways, the wheelbarrows are right over there."

"Wait, you thought I was alone this whole time?" We go over to get a wheelbarrow.

We each wheels one out and I place my chicken in one so I have both hands. "Thanks for the wheelbarrows, Handy!"

"No problem."

"So, let's get back to the chicken truck to get that metal to Lumpy."

"Agreed."

As we head to chicken truck, Handy calls. "Try not to die on the way there!"

Ashdash calls to Handy. "We'll try not to!"

Handy calls. "Once you die, you can't escape!"

Ashdash stops. "Escape what?" She seemed to be trying not to let him think we're aware of the curse.

"Didn't we already tell him we know about the curse?" I ask.

"I know we told Lumpy, but I wasn't sure whether or not we told Handy."

"We did. I mean, even without… you know… you'd be hard pressed to be here any amount of time and not know."

"What do you mean?"

"That when you see death everywhere, you can't deny that death is everywhere?"

She shrugs and walks wheelbarrow to truck. "I don't deny that death is everywhere."

"So obviously we'd know about the curse."

"Well, yeah we know, but does anyone here, outside of Lumpy, know we're from a different world?"

"Cuddles and Toothy do... Sniffles might know too but that's putting a lot of faith in his intelligence."

"Oh yeah, but they're dead, aren't they?" She stops and opens back of truck to get metal.

We both start loading metal, me moving my chicken so I don't crush it. "That they are and hopefully we'll be gone before they come back."

"Hopefully."

"And, assuming what Handy said is true, we need to be extra careful."

"Yeah. This would be the right time to be Flaky at this moment." She sees me moving chicken from wheelbarrow. "Are you seriously keeping that?"

"Why wouldn't I? I bought it with the money I stole fair and square."

She shrugs. "What are ya gonna name it?" She asks as we wheel the wheelbarrows in the Daily Acorn building.

"Hmm… I haven't decided yet. Suggestions?"

"I haven't a clue. In August, when we got a puppy, my suggestion of a name was Barbadus. Another one of my suggestions was Barbadobman. The names may sound weird, but I like them."

"I actually like that, Barbadus!"

"That'll be the chickens name then?" She presses elevator button.

"Yeah, it's cool." I try not to think about See You Later, Elevator as the elevator goes up.

She sighs while waiting, then hums.

"Do you always have to do that?" I ask, petting Barbadus.

"What? Hum? Does it bother you? If so, I can stop." The elevator door opens and I wheel the wheelbarrow in.

Ashdash wheels wheelbarrow out as well. "Hey Lumpy, we got the metal!"

"Huh? Oh yeah! Set it right there." Lumpy points to his right, walks over to us and grabs a piece of metal. "Ahaa."

We take the metal where Lumpy directed.

Lumpy walks to the dumped pile of metal and grabs the more and hands one to us. "Let's get started."

We take the metal I was handed. "Alright! So... what do we do exactly?"

"Well first, we have to make the floor. We'll make a three by two out of these. Lumpy takes a blowtorch and connects two pieces of metal and we help in some way.

We all (mostly Lumpy) get the bottom part done. "Phew. Mmmmhmmm. Now you two can work on the walls and I'll work on the top."

"Yes, Sir!" I get a blowtorch for myself and attach metal for walls. Ashdash gets another blowtorch for herself and makes walls.

Soon I finish the metal walls with blowtorch. "Have you done this before?" Ashdash asks.

"No I haven't."

"Me neither." Ashdash finishes metal walls as well.

"But I did used to watch a lot of Phineas and Ferb."

"Eh. I've had other obsessions. Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents, South Park, Regular Show, etc, etc." She turns to Lumpy. "Were finished with the walls, Sir."

Lumpy looks it over having finished roof. "Mmmm Hmmmm."

"Would you like us to put these together, along with the floor?"

"Yes! So get on that."

"Yes, Sir!" We both say and put the stuff together.

a few minutes later... "We're finished, sir!" We press down blowtorches "That may be the last time I'm building something with a blowtorch."

I ask Lumpy. "So, now comes the hard part?"

"Hard part?" Ashdash asks.

"The electric stuff." I clarify.

"That's right." Lumpy grabs a couple of wire pieces. "But we're gonna need more than this if we want this to work."

"Where could we find more?"

"Hmmm, we could ask Sniffles, but I don't think any of his would work. ... We could try the junkyard again."

I shrug. "I guess that's our best option."

"Do you wanna come with us, Lumpy?" She takes out keys.

"Yes, I need to make sure we get the right ones."

We start walking to elevator. "Would you like to drive, sir, or do you want me to?"

"Give me those." Lumpy takes keys from Ashdash.

"Sorry."

"You two didn't crash it, did you?"

"No, Sir." I affirm.

"Not at all, Sir."

Soon the doors open at the bottom floor and we start walking out.

Ashdash gets in back of chicken truck, I get in the passenger, and Lumpy gets in the driver's seat.

Ashdash attempts a conversation to break silence. "How is everyone's day going?"

"Um… I'm not even sure how to answer that..."

"You could say it's... Happy? Happy Tree Town?"

"I guess you can say it's the happiest place on earth. By default, at least because the rest of this world was completely destroyed and every living creature permanently killed by Splendid's fart."

"True, true."

We arrive at the junkyard.

I get out of chicken truck. "Alright, so wires… I honestly know nothing about what I'm doing now..."

Ashdash gets out of chicken truck as well. "I never know what I'm doing." Ashdash admits.

Lumpy sighs getting out of the chicken truck. "Come on, I'll show you guys."

We both follow him and Lumpy leads us to so miscellaneous broken electronics.

"So we have to find the wires in these?" We both grab a broken electronic. "Sounds simple enough."

"Yeah, I guess."

Ashdash attempts to remove wire, but gets slightly shocked. "Ow!" She sucks her finger.

I see that and try taking out battery so there should, in theroy, be no power. "Please don't kill me." I try removing wire without getting shocked.

"How much wire would be required?" She asks and removes battery as well.

"A lot, I'll let you know when there's enough." Lumpy answers.

"Okay." We continue moving wires from broken electronics.

After a while, Lumpy releases. "Alright, that should be enough wires."

"Phew, Thank goodness. I may never feel my fingers again." She shows fingers, which all of them look a little red and tries to move one. "Ow."

"Agreed." I say, my fingers in about the same shape.

"So, now we go back to the Daily Acorn building?"

"Yes we are." Lumpy gets back in driver's seat of chicken truck, I get in shotgun and Ashdash gets back in back.

Lumpy drives us back to the Daily Acorn. Ashdash looks at wires behind her. "Those wires are fully… electrical, right?"

"They will be once everything's hooked up." Lumpy answers.

"So they're dead for now?"

"We'll they're not connect to any power source so yes."

"Phew." She says as the truck stops.

Lumpy however adds, "Though, in this town, they can probably still electrocute you if they really want to."

"Oh boy." She gets out carefully to not electrocute self.

"Be careful, I don't wanna have to leave you here, Ash but I will if I have to."

"I wouldn't wanna leave myself either, heh heh." Ashdash successfully gets out. Lumpy and I both get out and we head back in the Daily Acorn building.

We get back to the right floor with the wires. "So, now what, Lumpy?"

"We put the wires in the machine, then we put electricity in those wires."

"And… how do we do that?"

"Putting electricity in the wires? Well, we'll need a generator to get electricity. And I know just the place." She opens door and we see generator. "Hmhm."

"I'm sorry, Lumpy but I don't know this stuff very well."

"Me neither." Ashdash admits.

Lumpy sighs. "Fine. I'll take care of it." He gets generator and sets it next to the machine and does electrical thingamajigs.

Soon he finishes 'electrical thingamajigs'. "Phew. Mmmmhmm."

"So, it should work now?"

"It should work now. Hop on in." He directs.

I hop on in and cross fingers and Ashdash does the same.

Lumpy activates the machine.

We both wave him goodbye.

I appear in my own house and immediately PM Ashdash. "Did you make it back okay?"

She responds. "I'm alright. What about you?"

"I'm alright too. Thank goodness nothing killed us while we were there."

"Though I felt like I was gonna die a couple of times, hehe… It was fun, I'll have to admit."

"Yeah, but I think I'll stick to just watching it."

"Hehe, yeah. And writing fanfics."

"Of course! Just like I'm doing right now!"

If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the Mole, he saw it too. Thank you for reading this ridiculous story and please review.