Disclaimer: I do not own D gray man.

Warning: Dark themes, and extreme Yullen fluff, minor spoilers for the manga (beware if you haven't read up to the Alma arc yet).

Kanda's verse

The first was a distant memory of a muzzled vision, the dream like hallucination of a silhouette was someone he once knew, and someone he once loved. He couldn't see her face, but he knew she was smiling. A tender, amicable, waning smile that was both radiant and tragic. She was gone, and he was drowning in ink dark abyss, there was agonizing pain. His body distorted in an nightmarish grim, reconstructed an unrecognizable mess. A tool for the belligerent organization.

The second was a boy he cared deeply about, who beamed brighter than the mid afternoon sun, he was brilliant, jubilant and out of place, a melancholic reminiscence of the terrifying experiments once performed, he sought comfort in that boy, a transient escape of the abominable hell he was constricted. And he too was gone. Kanda finally learnt that humans were replaceable. Mere instruments deviced for a far greater scheme, and he despised the world. Despised the false, diabolical God under a weak pretense of benevolence.

Protecting humanity? Such a pretty word for an ugly little thing, they were not here to protect, they were here to destroy, destroy all irregularities that their despicable God behested. And that was precisely what he was good at, killing, severing and annihilating.

Then he met Allen. Harboring the same gullible, unnerving beliefs, an untarnished naivety soon to be stained murky black, like the rest of them, hopeless and despairing. But he doesn't, and it agitated Kanda, because his ideas were stupid and callow, if life was a story then Allen would surely be the main character. So full of dreams and delusions akin to the boy of his past, but the ending was not a happy one. Murdered in cold blood by the very organization they fought and died for. What was truly terrifying were neither Akuma nor Noah lurking in the darkest nights, but those who wore the benign shell of a human.

Irony had the boy host the Noah of calamity. The one that sought to save everyone and everything, even lectured him on the importance of life, reprimanding each was precious and significant will eventually reduce existence itself to dust and ashes, whereas he who cared so little for the detestable universe had to stop him. How ludicrous, a gut wrenching joke God desired to play.

But in Allen's eyes sparked an undying resilience, a flame igniting unfathomable shadows. He despised it, recalling similar ones held by a phantom of his past, a phantom that was irreplaceable to him. Kanda fought Allen, anger and somber translated to a series of clashes, that's when he felt truly liberated. Unspoken words sung a graceless fight, conveying years of hesitation and doubt, and Allen always receives it, embraced with his entirety the silent anxiety and uncertainty. He was strong, far stronger than his appearance portrayed. And it reaffirmed Kanda the juvenile before was not the weapon of mass destruction, but a living breathing soul who gave unconditionally.

Yet whenever they spoke, he loses his calm, serenity crumpled, and discarded like the ephemeral flowers of spring. He affected him in many ways Kanda would likely admit.

When he found himself awake in the body of the young exorcist, he was not thrilled, aggravation took control, and he confronted the resting boy. He never addressed how odd it was looking at the anatomy that once homed his consciousness. And neither did he stated the inconvenience this new one gave him. It was almost fragile, and Kanda was afraid he'd break him, but innately, he knew that wasn't true. Allen was far from vulnerable, his innocence synchronization surpassed Kanda's, he could feel it amplify with each notion, a puppy like enthusiasm to protect it's owner, Allen, and just Allen, not the darker, more sinister being that resided within. And when Allen questioned his compatibility with Mugen, it hit a nail, agitation transcribe into an impatient attack, he knew he need not hold back, his body was resilient, enhanced with strength and speed beyond normal capacities, coupled with the unorthodox ability to regenerate, the Black Order really outperformed themselves, they needed a monster, and they'd created one. The question remained was if Allen could utilize it.

He could.

Merely dodging the life threatening blow, scarlet traced a fine line across his torso, he was vexed, more at himself then otherwise. He underestimating Allen, again. The juvenile appeared bothered, and Kanda allowed him, swallowing the pride that had him acted so thoughtlessly which resulted in the outcome. And Allen pushed his luck, making ridiculous requests on top of the next, he rejected him, only to witness the disconsolation of how much it actually bothered him, the idea of Kanda seeing him naked apparently gravely troubled the young exorcist. He caved in bitterly, an irrational concern overcoming better judgements.

The scene he found them in was none the more deriding, Allen, with the stupid Usagi screwing around with his body, but decided to relinquish the grudge, having executed revenge on the foolish rabbit.

Lavi too, a scary entity, the lighthearted air merely a fictitious charade hiding a self-serving agenda. He was the future bookman, an observer to the unfolding tragedy served records for future references, friendship was merely an illusion to preserve his crumbling heart, because he couldn't stand the solitude, Kanda knew that's what Lavi convinced himself with, however it was undeniable that the gradual make-believe bonds were slowly becoming real. Lavi developed a genuine affection for them, he could no longer turn a blind eye like he did, abandoning comrades and past aliases easily, and it'll only destroy him one day.

He compromised for Allen begrudgingly, allowing the latter to remove his clothes. He solemnly inquired if the prior decisions were of something that was worth his time, and he recalled the defeat in the younger male's face. Kanda failed to realize how these actions held any significance to the bean sprout other than the sole conviction to bother him, having instructed to keep his eyes shut, senses heightened unwarrantedly accommodating the lack of vision, each contact left him flinching at the lingering touch, it was annoying for such a pointless activity. Chilling caress of the surrounding air embraced the eventual exposed skin, he was cold.

"Are you so concerned that I'll see your prepubescent body?"

Kanda had to provoke him, loosening the building tension of something more adulterated and unbearable. And Allen retorted instantly,

"No, I'm afraid you'll get turned on seeing me naked. " He remarked sarcastically.

Both unwilling to make the embarrassing activity any easier for one another. He clicked his tongue, announcing disagreement with the suggestion. A scalding sensation of burning drizzle assaulted his skin, and he hissed intolerantly at the discomfort,

"Damn Moyashi, are you picking a fight?"

He could almost sense the irritation in the younger male as Allen hastily rotated the tap to the opposite end, and cold tundra replaced the previous burning lava. Kanda reached for the knob, adjusting the temperature, Allen was doing it on purpose, to taunt him, to assert that he had the upper hand, and Kanda was at his mercy. He wasn't, he could easily storm out, parading naked across Black order. But he doesn't, out of respect for the younger boy, knowing that it'll only further strain their relationship.

"What are you going to do? Kill me with high blood pressure?" Allen challenged, and that was the last straw, he sprayed the juvenile with water, entirely drenching him, although Kanda couldn't see his reaction he knew, Allen was vexed.

Rough hands mixed shampoo into his hair impatiently, dishevelling the silvery strands into chaotic disarray, the familiar scent of citrus that the organization provided bubbled into a milky foam, Allen wasn't gentle, venting his earlier frustrations on Kanda's head, tugging the soaked mane, but Kanda didn't stop him, eager to get this over with. He felt the perturbation simmered into something mild, violent force melded tenderness and calm. It was almost relaxing, although he didn't allow himself to relish the short-lived peace between two polar opposites.

Allen's hands travelled, blossoming scent of summer cherries followed the delineation of his motions, an almost intimate gesture traced after oblivious disconcert as he slid down his abdomen, and Kanda flinched, muscles contracted defensively, nerve endings amplified by the lack of sight, and curious anticipation of the unnerving touch twisted a sinister suspense that was so wrong and alarming. Kanda swiped his hands away, preventing further ventures.

And almost, skeptically, "Kanda, are you getting hard?" He asked.

Veins popped with the final pieces of composure Kanda had, a mere physiological reaction of the uncontrollable adrenaline coursing through his blood. He was sick of it, tackling Allen to the ground. When he finally opened his eyes, blinding assault of light fogged his vision momentarily, the liberated perception painted flustered cheeks bashfully avoiding eye contact, ruffled raven elaborated fine-boned elegance across protruding collars of the younger male rasping, lips parted almost tantalizingly to allow oxygen down his windpipe. Lasciviousness punched Kanda in the gut.

"Stop making that expression with someone else's face." He barked disgruntedly.

"You're the one who started it!" Allen argued, shades of mortification blended into accusation.

"It's your fucking body!" He defended.

"I'm a growing kid, unlike you, old man!"

Innocence activated in an dazzling flash, Crown clown draped protectively over Kanda's drenched skin, and he threatened Allen maniacally, dangerously looming over the younger male.

"Do you have a death wish?"

Sensing the peril, Allen pushed him off, retrieving the rested sword against the basin. Kanda took the answer as yes.

"Are we seriously going to fight?"

The bean sprout's action relaxed, disarming himself as he sighed dejectedly, seemingly unable to comprehend the current detriment. Perhaps they both over reacted, allowing it to escalate severely over contrasting personalities, each too stubborn to give in. He never understood why he became so intolerant of the boy, if it was anyone else, he couldn't give half a damn.

Neither apologized, and finally, Kanda succumbed,

"Tch, do whatever you want." Analyzing that it'll be too bothersome otherwise, he didn't fancy battling the young exorcist nude and soapy.

Allen no longer instructed him to close his eyes, seemingly getting over his self consciousness, it was pointless after having Kanda already seen him naked.

"You can just wash yourself, BaKanda!" He jeered, and left the vicinity.

Kanda massaged the bulging vein, alleviating the incessant headache the other caused him, he was right, a pointless activity till the end. The mirror reflected a boy of countless scars marring the once porcelain skin, a distorted portrait of someone that has been through terrifying events, it was almost unfair, and exactly what their twisted God would likely enjoy. Kanda knew why Allen was self conscious, they weren't humans, they were monsters. Monsters to kill other monsters. And for an instant for savoring the darker thoughts, Kanda saw him, the deranged reflection of a lunatic, the fourteenth. He was laughing, taunting the delicious predicament and misfortune. Allen fought him everyday, a small disconsolate weakness would mean obliteration of humanity, and Crown clown reacted negatively, shocks of electricity sparked across his body, a defense mechanism retaliating the lurking beast.

"You're not Allen."

The alter-ego cooed, voice contorted a sickening echo in his head and Kanda disregarded him, having no desires to entertain the maniac. And almost as if he read his thoughts,

"Don't ignore me, I'll be sad."

He taunted, Kanda almost smashed the reflective surface.

"Oh, an angry one are we?"

This time, he did. Resounding laughter faded into a deathly silence, the presence was gone, hidden away into further slumber. Allen entered the bathroom to investigate the commotion, unpleasantly surprised by the broken pieces of glass scattered across the tiles.

"You saw him, didn't you?" He inquired meekly, a wash of hurt and concern overwhelmed prior valor.

"Tch, it's none of your business." Kanda shunned him, unwilling the burden the boy with redundant information, knowing that he'd only worry.

"Would you stay with me tonight? I need to monitor the fourteenth's actions. If he speaks to you again, tell me. I deserve to know, it's my body."

He was grimly serious, and Kanda knew Allen wouldn't let this one slide.

Author's note: Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, yes, Kanda can see the fourteenth, but only if the fourteenth allows it. And as much as I want Allen to just give Kanda a hand job there and then, I feel that their personalities just wouldn't allow it. But, soon! Okay my lovelies, R & R if you want the next chapter.

Lastly, a question, would you guys prefer gradual smut? Or just permanent fluff? Because I do have some explicit events planned out. I'm trying my best to keep the them in character, but I do think Kanda is a seme tsundere, all tsun tsun and no dere, he doesn't want to admit that he cares for people. And I think Allen fits a seke more than uke (converse to how other authors portray him, I think he's quite emotionally stable and strong, worrying more about others than himself.)

P.s if I suddenly break into British spelling, I'm sorry. Blame, it on auto correct, excuse any grammatical / spelling errors if you find here and there, I tried to proof read all my stories before I post, but sometimes, I just miss things.