Hey guys. So... I don't really write slash very often. Actually, I don't write anything with romance very often, mainly because I'm not very good at it, and I guess I'm used to writing more about friendship. But anyway, I haven't written anything with Kogan in a long time (I've written Kames, though, which I love just as much as Kogan at this point), so I decided to write this. This was written for the BTR song-fic challenge from the BTR Plot Adoption Forum. The challenge was to write a story based off a BTR song, and I chose Nothing Even Matters. The summary comes from the song, and the title comes from Heffron Drive's newest song, Don't Let Me Go. If any of you wanna join and write something, for the challenge, let me know. :) It doesn't end until the 18th, so there's still a bit of time left.

Anyway, I hope you guys like this. :)


"How... How do you tell someone you love them?" Logan's voice shakes as he utters that one question, feeling nauseous as he waits for an answer. He stays still where he lays in total darkness, his body pressed against his bed's mattress. For a moment, all he can hear is the sound of his uneven breathing, until Kendall breaks the silence as he rolls over on his bed, so that he is now facing the brunet, even though he can't really see him.

"You just do," he says, so quietly that Logan can barely hear him.

"But... what if you're scared?"

"You tell them anyway; you take that risk." He pauses then and reaches for the small lamp that is sitting on the nightstand beside his bed, and turns it on. "Do you love someone?" he asks once he can see Logan clearly.

The brunet sits up then, shrugging his shoulders in response, even though deep down, he knows that he does, and that the very person that he loves, is sitting just a few feet away from him. "I don't know, I think I might," he says slowly.

"Then, you should tell them that."

"And if they don't feel the same way?" Logan asks, his eyes moving from where they had previously been staring at the ceiling, to stare at his younger friend. "What then?"

"Then you can say at least you were honest about how you feel about them."

"It's just that... what if it's a close friend? I don't want to ruin our friendship by telling them that I have feelings for them, you know? I don't want to risk that, because I'd rather have them as a friend, than nothing at all."

Kendall smiles and swings his legs over the edge of his bed, taking the few steps towards Logan's bedside. He takes a seat on the very edge and stares at Logan, his smile then disappearing. "If you and that person are friends, and you both care about your friendship, I don't think that confessing your feelings for them will change anything. They might not feel the same way, there is always that possibility, but what if they do?"

"Yes, what if they do? What would I do then?"

"You'll figure it out once you get there," Kendall says, patting Logan's shoulder, "but first, you gotta do it. I know it's scary, but if you never do it, you'll never know what might come from it."

Logan nods his head and smiles at the blond. "Thanks, Kendall."

"No problem, Loges. Now... are you gonna tell me who this person is?" he asks with a grin, which is soon wiped away from his face as Logan reaches for his pillow and smacks him with it. "Ow! Okay, no need to get all violent."

"I'll tell you... eventually."

"No fair." The taller boy pouts as he stands up and goes back to his bed. "You tell me you might love someone, and then you won't even tell me who it is."

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because... you know them."

Kendall gasps, unable to keep the smile from his face. "It's not James, is it?" he questions.

"Go to sleep, Kendall."

"Is that a yes?"

"No, now go to sleep."

"But it's not a no?"

"Sleep!"

"You're no fun, you know that?" Kendall mutters under his breath as he lays back down.

"You love me anyway," Logan says playfully.

Kendall chuckles, but doesn't say anything in response. An awkward silence drapes over them for a few minutes, before Kendall turns off his lamp and rolls over onto his side, facing away from Logan. "Goodnight, Logie," he says softly, expecting for the brunet to already be asleep.

"Goodnight, Kendall," Logan mumbles back, a heavy sigh slipping from his lips. It would be so easy to tell him right then and there, but he can't bring himself to do it, and he hates himself for it.


"So, he likes someone?"

"No, he doesn't just like someone... He thinks he might be in love with them," Kendall corrects Carlos as he lets his head fall into his hands. "I asked him if it was James, but he refused to give me an answer."

"J-James?" The smaller boy turns to look at him, a giant grin spread across his face. "You think he likes James?"

Kendall shrugs his shoulders and glares at him. "Stop staring at me like I just said the stupidest thing ever. Yes, I thought it might've been James... unless he was talking about you. He did say it was a close friend."

"Trust me, Logan does not like James, and he sure as hell does not like me. Have you thought, for even just a second, that he might have been talking about you?"

"Yeah... I don't think so."

"But why not? You two are close friends, so it would make sense."

"Logan doesn't like me, Los. Not like that, at least," Kendall says as he stares at the TV in front of them, though he's not paying attention to it. "I'm sure of that."

"Do you want him to?"

"Do I want him to what?" Kendall asks, puzzled.

"To like you. Do you want him to like you?" the smaller boy repeats, searching with curious brown eyes for any indication of a change in mood on Kendall's face. He doesn't miss the way the blond's cheeks turn a light pink in embarrassment, and a ghost of a smile makes itself present on his face for a fraction of a second.

"I don't... I don't know the answer to that," Kendall says cautiously, turning his head to his left and staring at Carlos. "A part of me does... a part of me doesn't."

"Okay, why do you?"

"Because... if he does, for whatever reason, love me, I think... I might love him, too."

A smile stretches across Carlos' face, and as hard as he tries, he is unable to hide it. "I knew it."

"Shut up, this is no time for you to poke fun at me. I'm in a serious predicament here."

Carlos rolls his eyes at his friend's words. "Serious predicament," he chuckles, shaking his head. "Alright, so, if you think you love him, then why do you not want him to feel the same way?"

"Because... he's Logan. He's my best friend. I could come up with a list of reasons why that would be a bad thing."

"Like?"

"Well, first of all, he's afraid of ruining the friendship he has with this person he has feelings for, and if that person is me, I don't want to ruin our friendship either. Our friendship means too much to me – he means too much to me."

Carlos looks at him with sad eyes as he tries to figure out what to say next. "I think," he says softly, moving a hand to rest on Kendall's shoulder, "that that would not happen. Whether it is platonically or romantically, you two love each other, and you care about each other. I don't think a relationship would ruin that."

"But, if it does?"

"You've been best friends for eight years. Something like that does not just fade away, not unless one of you were to do something really stupid to hurt the other. Which, I highly doubt would happen. I know you – you wouldn't hurt Logan intentionally, and he wouldn't hurt you either."

"What about Gustavo? Griffin? The fans? Gustavo would surely kill us. Griffin... I don't even want to think about what Griffin would do. And the fans... What if—"

"You shouldn't have to worry about that," Carlos says, interrupting him. "It's your life, not anyone else's. Who cares about what Gustavo, Griffin, or the fans will think or do? They can't control your life, they shouldn't control your life."

"It's just... so complicated," Kendall mumbles, his eyes moving to stare straight ahead. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell Logan anything, because he might have feelings for someone else. Then I would just look like an idiot."

"Then wait for Logan to say something. I'm sure that he will eventually."

"If it even is me he was talking about," Kendall mutters under his breath and stands up. Carlos follows close behind and grabs him by the arm, stopping him before he can go any farther.

"I'm positive it is you."

"Why are you so sure about that?" Kendall asks, turning around. "It could be anyone."

"Nah, it's not."

"How do you know that? Do you... Do you know something I don't know?"

"I'm not answering that," Carlos says with a grin as he walks away from him, in the direction of the apartment's door, but it swings open before he can even reach it.

"Carlos, I swear, if you don't tell me what you know, I will—"

"What he knows about what?" Logan and James are standing in the doorway, both of them displaying quizzical looks.

"Umm... nothing."

"It didn't seem like nothing," James blurts out, but Kendall ignores him as he brushes past the three boys and walks out of the apartment. "What was that all about?" the brunet asks, his attention now on Carlos.

"Oh, nothing."

"Like I just said, it didn't seem like nothing."

"You know, Kendall just being... Kendall."

"What's that even supposed to mean?" Logan asks, but Carlos doesn't respond. "Carlos?"

"That your unrequited love may not be as unrequited as you think."

"W-what?"

"Kendall loves you too, you doof."

"But... he can't. Kendall can't love me back," Logan says with a look of shock. "He can't."

"Logan, why can't he?" James says with a sigh.

"Because, he's Kendall."

"And?" Carlos questions him.

"He's Kendall, and I'm... I'm just Logan. I'm not... I'm nothing special, so why would he?"

"Hey, I never want you to say that about yourself ever again, do you hear me?" Carlos says as he takes ahold of Logan's shoulders and guides him towards the couch. "You are special, you are not 'just Logan.' Anyone would be lucky to be with you. You're a great guy."

"Carlitos is right, you know," James points out. "You may not think you're special, but... I've seen the way Kendall looks at you. Heck, anyone can see how in love he is with you, except for you. And same goes for him. The only ones who are oblivious to it, are you two."

"It's been going on for years, and to be honest, I think it's time you tell him how you feel. He's not going to do it, because he already knows you like someone, and he doesn't think it's him. So, you need to do it."

"It's not that easy," Logan mumbles, his eyes locking with Carlos'. "I can't just tell him that I love him."

"You can do it. You already know he has feelings for you."

"I didn't know that, until Carlos pointed it out."

"But he does. He told me just a few minutes before you walked in the door. Thing is, he's just as scared as you are," Carlos explains, his lips forming into a pout. "Things will be okay, you'll see. Just go talk to him. Tell him how you really feel."

"I don't know if I can."

"You can," the two boys say in unison, pulling him to his feet and pushing him in the direction of the door. "Now go."

Logan sends a glare their way, before walking out of the apartment, in search of his blond friend.


Kendall stares at the twinkling stars up in the sky as he sits on top of the Palm Woods' roof, with his knees pulled up to his chest. The wind is blowing quite forcefully, and it's chilly for a September night, but he can't be bothered to move from where he's sitting – not when he's too preoccupied with the abundance of thoughts swarming around in his head.

"I thought I'd find you here."

Kendall freezes as he hears Logan's voice, not expecting someone to follow him up there. He feels the smaller boy take a seat beside him, but does not turn to look at him.

"Can we talk?" Logan asks in a cautious manner. He stares at Kendall's face, which remains expressionless. "I need to tell you something..."

"Yeah, sure," Kendall replies in a quiet voice, feeling like he might pass out at any moment.

"Can you look at me?"

Despite the fact that that is the last thing he wants to do, Kendall turns to look at Logan, whose eyes reflect a mixture of emotions – emotions he can't quite make out.

"I know this is gonna sound really weird, and I really, really hope it doesn't freak you out, but... I've been wanting to tell you this for a while. I just never had the guts to tell you, because it's so personal, and I was afraid, and..." The brunet pauses, not really knowing how to get the next words out. "Do you remember what I asked you last night?"

"Yeah... I remember."

"Well, you asked me who it was that I was talking about, and... it was... it was you."

"Me?" Kendall questions him, feeling like his heart has stopped beating.

"Yes, you. I... I love you, Kendall. And I know you might not feel the same way, and if you don't, that's okay, but I thought I should tell you. I thought I should be honest with you, because you're my best friend, and I'm tired of keeping this from you. I just... I want—"

Whatever Logan was about to say is cut short as Kendall wraps his arms around him in a hug. He rests his chin on Logan's shoulder, smiling when he feels the smaller boy hug him back. "I love you too, Logie," he whispers, so quietly, that if they hadn't been so close, Logan probably would not have heard him.

Logan doesn't say anything in response for a few seconds, as he lets his eyes close shut, finding comfort in the arms wrapped tightly around him. When he does speak, he feels tears spring to his eyes, and he can barely manage to get anything out.

"Y-you do?"

"I do," Kendall says, pulling away from the hug to look Logan in the eye. "Why are you crying?" he asks, his smile disappearing. There are tears rolling down Logan's cheeks, and he fears that he might have done something to upset him.

"Because... I love you, and you love me, and that's crazy."

"Yeah, it is crazy," Kendall agrees, a smile forming on his face, but it vanishes just seconds after. "Does this make us... you know..."

"Boyfriends?" Logan asks, grinning widely.

"Y-yeah. Does it?"

"Do you want us to be?"

"I do, it's just that... I'm scared, and I know you're scared, and I don't want to ruin anything."

"Kendall, I trust you with my life." Logan takes ahold of Kendall's hands, which are cold to the touch. He can't help but smile as the younger boy tightens his fingers against his. "Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I am scared, but we can be scared together. We can do this, together. And if for whatever reason this doesn't work out, we can go back to being just friends."

"I hope so, because you mean so much to me. I don't want to lose you, ever."

"I don't want to lose you either," Logan mumbles as he looks up at Kendall. "But we can't think like that. It's like you told me yesterday, we gotta take that risk, even if we're scared of what might happen or what people might think. I believe we can make it. I believe in us. If someone is not okay with it, then screw them, because in the end, nothing even matters but you and I."

"Did you seriously just quote one of our songs?" Kendall laughs, his eyes lighting up as he stares at Logan.

"Maybe." Logan turns away, hoping that Kendall will not see the blush coating his cheeks a rosy pink.

Kendall, unbeknownst to Logan, scoots closer to him and lets his head fall against the older boy's shoulder, his eyes once again focused on the stars in front of them. "I love you," he murmurs and moves an arm to wrap around Logan's waist. "It feels so weird to say that, and knowing it's not in a platonic way, but I do."

Logan smiles and wraps his arm around Kendall's shoulders, and then kisses the top of his head. "I love you too," he says softly as he takes Kendall's left hand in his right one and intertwines their fingers together. "I love you so much."


I really suck at endings, lol. This story actually turned out to be a lot different than what I had originally planned, but I hope you guys liked it. Thank you for reading. :)

~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)