I had a dream of something like this a few days ago and I woke up with this song—which is also my alarm tone—so, well, here goes something.
Based on lyrics from "Tell me where it hurts" by Garbage.

With the sun blazing and warming up her face, she left behind the man she thought she was starting to like. That same handsome man that, she thought, who was starting to love her.

She thought that maybe, if he would have said to her what he really wanted... maybe she wouldn't have to watch through the window as the bomb exploded and embraced a big piece of Virmire's surface.

And Shepard opened the door and entered into the cargo bay when—she thought, again—nobody was there. But Ashley and Liara were, the asari whispering low and soft words while Williams was assaulting Kaidan's locker violently, strands of dark hair coming out of her tight bun, her face flush and heated.

Shepard cleared her throat for the girls to acknowledge her presence, but only Liara turned to her, Williams just stopped her assault. Though Shepard didn't need to see her face to realize how hurt and angry she was. "You're done for the night, Chief, and take the next day off." She said in her Commanding tone, hands clasped behind her back.

Ashley looks at her through her shoulder, but when their eyes meet, she looks at her blank expression for a moment and then she says nothing back, only giving a sharp nod at her direction before joining Liara at the elevator.

When there's only silence in the room, Shepard leans onto Kaidan's locker and sighs into it, with her forehead brushing over the cool metal. And to her surprise, she felt nothing. No anger, no misery, no tears; only the slightest pang of frustration and something very close to guilt.

A soft click and the noise of a door opening take her out of her thoughts and when she turns to the sound, she meets the gaze of the only person remaining in the room. Garrus leans beside the door of the Mako, taking a full minute by just watching her with arms crossed and a hard face that shows nothing in its features, but also reflects her own stare, showing everything.

He leans his head to the open door of the Mako and she obliges, confident steps crossing the room. She gets into the tank and he follows her in right away.

It's only when she's hiding inside that she hides her head behind her hands, and it's only when Garrus closes the door that she starts punching the seats and kicking the floor and howling in frustration, doing her best to shake that feeling away.

He just stares at her, arms hanging between his knees and it's just when she goes limp in her spot that he talks. "You already know that it's not your fault."

She cracks one eye open and looks at him, "You know what really freaks me out?" Garrus answers by leaning his head a little to the side, "Ashley loved him, but never did something to make him notice her."

Shepard snorts, suddenly feeling annoyed and not really wanting to talk about the relationship between her subordinates, but a humming sound from the other side of the vehicle confirms her that he hadn't been expecting that remark from her. So she raises a hand and pinches the bridge of her nose, "What I'm trying to say is… if only people would say what they really want, probably it would all have been different by now."

And Garrus sighs in understanding, but even she can feel her words sinking in the small compartment. It's after a long moment that she feels the vehicle shifting slightly and a heavy figure is taking the seat beside her, imitating her posture, head leaning back into the seat, arms relaxed in the sides. She takes a breath and opens her mouth to say something, but he speaks first. "Some people don't know how."

Shepard sighs heavily in response, and there are no more words necessary, because he's right. And it's almost like a confirmation of his words when she leans into him and rests her head on his shoulder.

It's not after a long breath when he doesn't move, but still rests one of his cheeks on the top of her head, and she has to admit that he's definitely right.

She takes a sip of her beer and wipes her mouth with her other hand, letting them rest on the top of her knees and leaning heavily on the feet of her bed. Everyone is having their last sleep before reaching Ilos and preparing to have what it could be their last mission. And she feels so tired, but sleeping is not an option for her.

Luckily, it's not an option for Garrus either, who's now sitting next to her with his own beer, their shoulders nearly pressing together. And in the middle of their silence, she wonders about how Ashley might be doing, and how Liara is dealing with everything.

Both of the girls are now trying to cope with the grieve over their loved ones, and she wonders about that. Because she had been loved before, but she never knew how to feel about it. She knew how to feel about sex, about friendship, about partnership, but never about love.

Maybe that entire thing about love is not about just caring, but acting. And probably it's not about just saying it, but expressing it.

His warm voice takes her out of her thoughts, "So, after this mission, what's next for us?" He asks, and she unintentionally raises an eyebrow, because that question is only loaded with more questions.

"For us?" And she has to ask that, but she takes a sip of her beer to cover her growing smirk and take hold of the nice warming feeling gathering all over her chest.

"I know that the Alliance might send you to a lot of places, but…" he relaxes next to her, outstretching an arm over the bed behind her and taking a drink, "You're a Spectre now. And I was thinking about going into the same road. Returning to C-Sec would be really boring after everything we've been doing over the galaxy."

She lowers her bottle and looks at him, "What are you trying to say, Garrus?"

He shrugs, making their shoulders brush together with the movement, and she realizes how close she is to him when she sees her own reflection in his bright cobalt blue eyes. "I don't know what tomorrow will bring for both of us, but if I know something, is that this battle looks like it's far from over, and I want to fight it beside you."

This time she is not able to hide her smile, and he returns it with one of his own, his mandibles spreading to the sides and his eyes gleaming with warmth. "I would like that." She answers, with gratitude all over her face. Eventually, she manages to finish her beer, and the drink helps her to calm her suddenly aching jaw from smiling so much.

Then, she abandons the bottle under her bed and leans her body to him, her head and one of her shoulders going to rest on his lap, and while one of his hands buries into her fiery red hair, her mind drifts to the things she had been wondering all along. About how he just said what he really wanted, and how that thing about love is not much about just caring, but acting.

He leans into the airlock door, "Did you send the recommendation already?"

"For the seventh time, yes," Shepard exhales in frustration, but a little tone in her voice shows him that she's not really annoyed, "Anderson has a copy, and I'm sending another to Hackett just to be sure. In any case, you could reach them and they'll know what to do."

Yes, she's not really annoyed. For what is worth, she suddenly wants to have more things to discuss with Garrus before he definitely walks away from the Normandy. And if she has to admit that to someone, there is something clenching in her gut on that moment, on that heavy exhale of breath, that's telling her that she should stop him before he walks away.

He hesitates for a second, but then he steps into her personal space, "You know, my visor only reads vital signs and translates a few things, but I really can't read your mind…"

And she thinks again about how love is not about caring, but acting, and that he doesn't need to read her mind or hear her voice to know what or how she's feeling right now. But she decides to act anyway, her heart racing and going wild behind her ribs when she closes the distance between them, grabs his neck with one trembling hand and presses her lips to his mouth plates.

Garrus goes very still, clearly not aware of the meaning of her gesture, his breath hitching and a hand frozen in the air, but when she leans away she notices that his eyes closed involuntary. "Do what you have to do… but come back to me." she whispers close to his neck, her voice already trembling with her last words.

They share one last look at each other, barely for half a second, before her eyes turn glassy and his face goes foggy, so she walks away and clenches her eyes shut.

"I will, I promise." He whispers back, not finding his voice, before the doors close behind her and he's alone at the airlock.

It is when she's floating in the deep expanse of space that she thinks again about how love is not about saying it, but expressing it. And how, even that she hates when people wouldn't say what they really wanted, now she is choking with her own words in her throat.

Drifting with pieces of debris, with fire and stars and the smell of death as her witness, her mind drifts into Ashley's intense stare, into Liara hugging herself, into Tali's helmet reflecting the drive core and Wrex cleaning his shotgun in calm silence. She sees blue sparks and silver debris barely shining around the black void, and she wonders how Garrus will cope with her unexpected demise.

She wonders about how many of her people have to deal with grieving.

And if she has to state where it really hurts on that moment, she would say that it's not her lungs, clenching and burning for the lack of air. She would say that yes, everything hurts, but mostly the words left unsaid.