A/N: This story takes place right after the end of the game, the night of Chloe's funeral. I wrote this last year, after I finished it, and it's much more depressing than I remembered. Sorry about that. But then again, it's the night of Chloe's funeral, so... Anyway. Enjoy.

I can't sleep. I say that, but I haven't even dared trying. The sole idea of lying in bed, staring into nothing, just brooding… it's terrifying. I know the path my thoughts will take me to and I just can't deal with that right now. I've had enough. Enough grief, enough loss. Enough wondering what if. What if I'd done something different. What if I hadn't listened to her and told the world to screw it. What if, what if.

I scroll down my newsfeed in a poor attempt to switch my brain off for a while. Victoria got her new fancy camera and is having a great time in San Franscisco. I guess she won the contest after all. Taylor has just uploaded a bunch of pictures with her mom. Trevor and Dana are clearly not a thing anymore, or never were, for that matter. Seems Kate is visiting her sisters for the weekend. They're all alive and well. Arcadia Bay is as peaceful and dull as it could be. I should be happy about that, I know.

My laptop is useless after a while. A quick scan of my room lets me know everything is still practically the same - though much tidier. Substitute Max has managed to keep Lisa alive, unlike me. Perhaps she was too busy to remember to drawn it. And apparently she's still keeping Warren's flash drive. He must be losing his mind by now. Kate's bunny is no longer here. I guess he's never even been in this room. But the main difference is that all my notes and books about time-traveling are simply gone. Like my powers. Like her.

But everything else is still here, as if it had been frozen in time since last week. It's hard to remember what my life was like before. What I was like. If I were to calculate the exact amount of time in which I moved since Monday, it would probably be more like a month since her death until… Her death again. My journal pops out from the corner of my eye. It was the first thing I checked when I came back to my room. The words from the last entry Substitute Max wrote still burn in my mind.

"I can't believe she's gone and I didn't even got to see her again. There's so much I wanted to tell her, so much I wanted to know. I wasted so much time being stupid and postponing it, when I should have called her the second I came back to Arcadia Bay. I wish we could have had more time. More time to talk together, to joke, to be pirates together. More time to tell her how sorry I am…"

I need to get out. But I can't just re-spawn far away from here - I'll have to walk through the halls first, and I can already hear everyone out there. Most of them are probably going out, like they normally would on any other Friday night, and the last thing I want is people giving me pity eyes and asking how I am. I'll have to make use of all of my repellents. First of all, I take my earplugs and set the volume annoyingly high so that I can hear absolutely nothing but Syd's songs. So that other people can hear it too and get it as 'do not disturb'. I don't bother to check my appearance in the mirror - there's no need to remind me how zombified I look. I do brush my bangs with my fingers, only to make sure they help me block great part of my vision. That way, I can stare at my feet the whole way, hear no evil, see no evil.

I'm ready.

I open the door and Kate is standing right there in front of me.

Avoidance Mission failed.

I take off my earplugs.

"Oh hey Max. I was just going to check in on you." She smiles her naturally kind smile.

"Hi Kate." I also need to push my bangs away from my eyes now. "Thanks, but I was actually on my way out."

"Oh okay. Well, thank you for letting me borrow your copy of The Decisive Moment." She hands me the book apparently lent to her by Substitute Max. "And if you need anything, just let me know. I'll be here a few feet away."

"Thank you, Kate. I really appreciate it. But… I thought you were going home to your sisters."

"Oh no, they are the ones who are coming. My whole family is. With everything that's surfaced with the arrests, they want to be here with me."

"Right. The arrests." Shit. There's so much I have to catch up on. Just not now. Be gone, troublesome real life. "Then I guess I'll see you later."

"Sure. Are you going out alone?" It warms my heart to know someone cares earnestly about me.

"No, I'm… going out with Warren." It's only a little white lie, and it definitely brings some light to her face.

"Oh, that's great. Well, you two have fun!"

I thank her and say goodnight with the best smile I can pull - which is probably not too much, but it's the only thing I can give her right now. Seeing Kate and talking to her is so surreal. I even consider going back and staying with her, but I could use the night air. This time my plan succeeds, and I'm out and about without anyone getting in my way.

Syd's singing about American girls so loud in my ears I can't even hear my own thoughts. It's perfect. I'm surprised at how cold it is tonight, but it feels nice, it's… distracting. It reminds me of a night when we were young pirates. It was one of those days in April when it's not quite warm yet, but the almost forgotten feeling of sunlight on your skin instead of a piercing chill makes you desperate to take out your summer clothes. So I did, I put on my t-shirt and my dorky shorts with suspenders. She had a good laugh at that. Like many other times, the woods were our playground. We were running around there for so long it got really dark real soon. That would happen quite often with her. We'd always have so much fun we'd lose track of time. I remember I was scared shitless of shadows, of wild animals, UFOs, you name it. But she wasn't, she found the way out in a matter of minutes. She was always braver than me.

The campus is empty and I enjoy walking aimlessly, even when the wind grows a bit stronger. I zip up my hoodie and as I slide my hands into my pockets I feel my phone vibrate. I haven't checked it today. I've got 2 messages from my mom, 1 from my dad, 1 from Juliet, 4 from Warren. I don't need to read them, I already know what they'll say, and I don't feel like reliving that. I'll just keep them unread in my pocket for a while longer.

I almost smile to myself when I see that Jefferson's posters have been taken down from the main campus. So have Rachel's. I wonder how her family is. I wonder whether she also had a proper funeral. She was so popular - everyone would go to hers. The comforting feeling is soon gone as my brain reminds me that everything I remember has been erased. Even the most banal things, like the old homey feeling, the sense of adventure of being at school at night… Nothing about this place feels familiar anymore. Even the squirrels and fireflies seem to be hiding from me. I kinda know it's for the best but I've yet to believe it.

By now, I've reached that weird Syd song that says something about drowning someone in a river, so I'll just turn the music off for a while. I've only pressed the button when I hear a shout in the distance that almost makes me drop my phone. I turn my neck instinctively in the direction I believe it came from so fast it hurts. Another shout, and another one, and a few howls. Only then I realize it's just some wasted dudes partying nearby. Fuck them. No one should be partying tonight. If they only knew the only reason they're here it's because of her. Instead of her.

I get up and now I'm running. But I've got no real destination. Everywhere I go, I'll always keep thinking of her. And that'll always take me back to the bathroom. To the shot. To her death. Shit, shit, shit. Stop. I don't want to cry. I don't want this. I want to skip forward in time until everything feels better, if there is such a moment. Why didn't I get that power in return? A sort of compensation for loss and damage.

Back in front of the dorms, going in doesn't sound like a good idea. My room is not my room anymore. Nothing is really the same. Maybe if I could find a constant, anything that remains unchanged. Well, there is one thing. Before I have time to regret it, I walk into the boy's dorms.

I have no appreciation for the smell in here, a mixture of sweat and male deodorant. Luckily, by now it's late at night and there's no one lurking in the shadows. Still, I move in the slowest pace and try to make the least possible noise as I walk straight on and turn left. The tape on the door on the left catches my attention for a second, but I'm gonna ignore that tonight. I knock on the last door on the right, and instantly wish I could take it back. It was a shitty idea, it's stupid o'clock past midnight. Maybe he hasn't heard it. Maybe I can get away with leaving without being seen. Yes, Max, do that. I'm just about to turn in the hall when I hear him call my name in confusion.

"Oh, hey Warren," I say casually. Because knocking on his room in the middle of the night is absolutely casual.

"I thought it was some of the guys pranking me, I never…" He scratches the back of his head. "Are you alright?"

"I… don't know." Not what he wants to hear, probably. "It's nothing. Sorry I woke you up, I'd better go now."

"You didn't. I was on a movie marathon."

"At 2am?" I can't help but give him a playful smirk.

"Hey, it's not a school night." His 'rebel' attitude is on. "I can go wild sometimes. And don't tell anybody but… it's PG13".

"With no adults around? Warren Graham, you're incorrigible."

He shakes his head with his signature chuckle.

"So... you wanna join? The marathon, I mean."

I'm still standing in the middle of the hall like an idiot.

"Sure."

He smiles at me but there's nothing pitiful or condescending about it. It makes me wish I'd come here earlier.

It's the first time I see the inside of his room. He actually owns a nice LCD TV and a badass computer, but those are about the only highlights. The rest of the ordinary furniture makes it look like any other bedroom. I'm actually disappointed. Even Victoria's room looks geekier.

"Sorry for the mess." His voice sounds embarrassed, but the only real mess is on his desk - a mixture of DVDs, cables and random electronic items - and some clothes lying on the floor. He picks these up quickly, but not before I get to notice a pair of TARDIS boxers. I'd make fun of him for that, but I actually wish I had a pair of those. Only once he throws everything inside the closet and closes it behind him I notice his Jar Jar T-shirt. That I can make fun of.

"Nice PJs."

"Yeah, a gift from my mom. For some reason she thought he was cool. Clearly she hasn't seen any of the films." I believe he's blushing, but it's hard to tell since the only light in here comes from the screen. He picks up some more stuff from the floor. "But it's a hit with the ladies." Definitely blushing. "Anyway, I was halfway through Schaffner's Planet of the Apes. Taylor has just been captured."

"Oh, man. I missed the action."

It's much warmer in here than in the outside world, so I take off my hoodie.

There is no couch, but his bed is placed right in front of the screen, and there is enough place for both of us to sit there. Warren makes me go through some sort of test to check my prior knowledge of the Ape films, and only once I pass he unveils his stash of snacks - snickers and a bag of chips - so I accuse him of going all Pavlov on me. I bet he takes it as a compliment. Anyway, I can't eat any of it. Even though I haven't eaten anything since I don't know when, I don't think I could manage sending anything to my stomach right now.

Warren loses himself in the film within seconds of unpausing it. It's crazy really to think about it. He let me in, no questions asked, and is clearly doing his best to keep me distracted from whatever is bothering me. I wish I could tell him everything, but at the same time I feel there's no need to. I can just travel to the Planet of the Apes and forget about Arcadia Bay. Warren can't help but comment on every funny facial expression the actors make every two minutes, but his remarks always make me laugh.

Only when the film is coming to an end I realize this was indeed a bad idea. Following the story of some people trying to survive and find their way home, only to realize their home has already been destroyed… it hits me harder than I expected. I've watched this film so many times, but this is the first time I think I actually understand how they feel.

"Isn't that the coolest ending you've ever watched?" Warren's eyes are fixated on the screen, pure fascination in them.

The growing lump in my throat won't let me reply. I envy him. I envy the way he ignores that just a few hours ago, The Two Whales was blowing up in flames. That I was able to find him only by first walking among piles of dead bodies. People who were dead because of me. Because I couldn't let go. I still can't.

"They were there all along. They never even…" He stops short when he looks at me. I'm not sure what I look like, but it can't be good. I want to say something, anything, but when I open my mouth my bottom lip trembles violently by its own will. "Hey… I'm sorry. I never should have chosen this shitty movie."

Bullshit, he loves it. But I can't speak. I can barely breathe.

"It's not…" I try, but my voice breaks in the second syllable. And I can't hold it back anymore. "She's gone." I bite my lip with all of my strength, I don't even want to hear myself say it. "And I'm… not. It's not fucking fair. She's fucking dead!"

It begins with spasms. Awful, crippling spasms, one after the other. Only then the tears start to burst out of my eyes. Any power of self-control I had has gone to hell. I'm there again, I'm hearing the shot, I'm letting her die. She's bleeding and he's shouting and it smells of chlorine and sweat and death and desperation. She dies. Over and over again, she dies. And I wish I could blame Mark Jefferson or Nathan Fucking Prescott or Frank or Pompidou, but I'm the one who just sat there and let it happen. She didn't deserve this. Any of it. All her life was pure shit after shit after shit. She didn't deserve this.

I'm only brought back when I feel Warren's arms around me. It feels as though he's just given me permission to fall apart, because I instantly lose all my strength and fall against his chest. His embrace grows tighter, which only causes my sobbing to grow louder, as if he were squeezing it out of me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I keep saying it over and over, though I'm not sure to whom and, anyway, it doesn't sound like my voice at all. The sound I make is something that would be more likely to come out of a dying whale - oh, the irony.

"It's okay. It'll be okay." Warren whispers against my hair.

I focus on the sound of his voice. He keeps speaking softly to me, reassuring, and I almost believe him. Maybe if he said it about a hundred more times. He is kind of right I guess. Things couldn't possibly be any worse than what they are now. It could only get better, no matter how long it takes.

Eventually, my chest becomes less and less heavy, and my breathing is almost normal. I feel like a little girl, curled up against him, locked inside his arms. I make a new effort to speak.

"Poor Jar Jar." It comes out as a whisper, but it's something.

"What?" Warren asks, not loosening his embrace.

"Poor fucking Jar Jar. I've drooled all over his face".

"Didn't I tell you? Girls always drool over it".

I laugh more than I usually would, since my chest finds some comfort in that. Warren laughs too, probably out of relief that I've stopped crying. I actually feel guilty now for putting him in that position.

"Sorry I got so emotional over the film. Heston's performance was just so convincing." I only manage to joke, and I can tell he enjoys it.

"I know. He even made me doubt my sexuality. But you know, boobs."

"So deep, Warren."

He laughs and then there's just silence for a few seconds, though it doesn't feel awkward at all. When Warren speaks again, he sounds more serious.

"I know I make a lot of stupid jokes. But I want you to know… I'm here for you. Anything you need, I mean it. Even if it means ruining all of my t-shirts."

I smile against his chest. His shirt is indeed wet from my tears, but at least it's not a big loss.

"Thanks Warren. But Jar Jar, really? You know I'm doing you a favor." I speak mockingly and his chuckle shakes my head a bit.

"It's so nice to hear you laugh." He sighs. "Or even speak to me at all."

I consider his words for a moment.

"We haven't talked much this week, have we?"

"I didn't want to bother you, I… I didn't know how close you were to her."

"Nobody does." I'm the one who sighs now. Nobody could ever understand. "She was the best and worst company you could have. Self-centered, guilt-tripping as fuck. But she could love you like no one else. She would get me in ways that… There will never be anyone like her."

I close my eyes and they sting for a moment, but then the feeling slowly fades. Warren is gently stroking my hair, something my mom used to do when I was little to put me to sleep. And it works like a charm. The sound of his breathing becomes a background and distant noise as other things come alive in front of me. The smell of Joyce's pancakes. The feeling of fresh sheets under my bare legs. The sun creeping in from the window through the curtains. The sight of blue hair. Her smile as she lies by my side.

Chloe.

A/N: I actually wrote quite a few more chapters following this, was planning on uploading it as a one-shot, unless anyone is interested in seeing where this goes. I promise it'll be less depressing and sorta more romantic. Eventually.