Fun fact about Kuroko Tetsuya: he can't draw for shit.

This never was a problem for the phantom, seeing as Teiko didn't bother with an art course. Wasn't it known information that artists usually had empty pockets and had to eat their own paintings to stay alive? So for a while, Kuroko didn't have to worry about the fact that his drawings looked like a duck had waddled onto his paper and took a dump. It was actually kind of nice, since all his friends were even worse and praised his duck-shit drawings that looked better only by comparison.

However, Seirin High liked the way they did things over in America, with the democracy and freedom of expression and their president-elect business man, and decided to provide the students with an art program. Poor, poor Kuroko. Kagami, being the wonderful friend he is, forced Kuroko to take the art course with full leisure of watching the shadow suffer with the arts. Kagami himself was a terrible artist, his stick figures looking like they'd drank something poisonous, so seeing someone else who wasn't himself fail terribly at art made him feel better about himself, in some twisted way. Yes, Kagami Taiga was a wonderful friend.

"Ah, what am I supposed to do...?" Kuroko muttered to himself, staring at the empty paper in front of him. This was their first project of the semester: any piece of art. Kuroko could feel his reputation of being super normal slipping out of his fingers like cherry blossom petals. The end of the semester grade would be the end of him. Kuroko put the eraser of his pencil between his teeth and glared down at the paper like it had mortally offended his mother. "Okay...draw something...draw something..."

Ten minutes later, however, Kuroko still had a paper in front of him, white white white.

"A polar bear in the Arctic during a blizzard," Kuroko muttered and reached for his phone.

"Kurokocchi!"

"Hello, Kise-kun," Kuroko said, retaking his staring contest with the paper. "I was wondering if you could provide me with a drawing prompt?"

"Eh? Why is Kurokocchi drawing all of a sudden?"

"Kagami-kun made me take the art course at our school," Kuroko explained. "And I have no idea what to draw."

"Draw me, Kurokocchi!" Kise squealed excitedly. "Oh, I could send you a picture from my shirtless photoshoo-"

Beep

"Hello?"

"Hello, Midorima-kun," Kuroko muttered. "I was wondering if you could provide me with a drawing prompt. It's for an art class at school."

"If that's the case, then it can't be helped." Kuroko fought the urge to roll his eyes, even though he wasn't in front of anyone. He could just imagine Midorima pushing up his glasses like the damn tsundere he is. "Draw a fractal."

"...a fractal?" (a fractal is a closed shape with an infinite perimeter. No matter how much you zoom in on a line, the shape will keep repeating itself. Needless to say, it is impossible to draw)

"It's Aquarius's lucky item for tomorrow," Midorima said. "N-Not like I pay attention or anything! It was just the first one that was listed, so naturally, I had to listen and-"

Beep

"Why are all my friends so weird?" Kuroko grumbled. "Maybe I'm just procrastinating." Kuroko made a mental note to ask Akashi for a pair of scissors so that he could kill Kagami later.

"Hm? Tetsu? What's up?"

"Aomine-kun, do you have any drawing prompts for me?"

"Eh? Um...boobs."

"...Aomine-kun, this is for a school project."

"I don't care. Draw boobs. They're easy to draw. You just need to draw two circles and then two smaller circles insi-"

Beep

"Murasakibara-kun?"

Kuroko was starting to get desperate.

"Eh~? Kuro-chin?~"

"I need to draw something for school. Could you give me a prompt?"

"Hm? I dunno...maybe you should draw maiubo..."

"Mauibo? Thank you Murasakib-"

"...but it might be nice if you drew some pocky. Mm~ Pocky covered in nuts and strawberry creme..."

"Eh? Murasakibara-kun?"

"Then maybe some lollipops to down the dryness...or something sweet to drink...I wonder if Muro-chin has any ramune in his dorm..."

Beep

"...Akashi-kun?"

"Why hello, Kuroko," Akashi's even and rational voice broke through the speaker, promising Kuroko a bit of sanity. "This is a pleasant surprise. Why did you call me?"

"I am working on a drawing for school and need a drawing prompt. Preferably not anything that has to do with shirtless models, fractals, boobs, or candy."

"It appears you've consulted for the others' opinions before asking me."

"...Yes."

"Well, I believe that Kuroko can come up with something by himself," Akashi said. "You always tend to surpass my expectations. And I explicitly remember your skill in the arts. It shouldn't be so difficult for you."

"I only looked better because Aomine-kun's best drawing was a stick figure with circles drawn for the chest."

"Is that so?" Akashi asked, amused. "Well, I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out by yourself, Kuroko."

"Akashi-kun that's not-"

Beep

"Did he hang up on me?" Kuroko sighed and set his phone down. The blank paper stared up at him, as intimidating as ever. Angry at his friends and the fact he had any sort of connection to such weirdos, Kuroko raided the house and found tubes of red, yellow, green, blue, and purple watercolor paint. "FUCK YOU ART," Kuroko screamed in a murderous voice to make Akashi proud and smeared the paint all over the paper, remembering half way through his rage that this was watercolor he was working with, and poured a cup of water on the paper, drenching the paper and the table. Kuroko surveyed the product of his fury. A huge rainbow splatter seeped from the paper and onto the table, a sort of orange color leaking onto the table. In a burst of inspiration, Kuroko stuck his finger in the orange pigment and created a circle in the middle of the rainbow. Four black lines later, there was a deflated basketball in the middle of his creation.

"My basketball," Kuroko muttered and signed his name in the bottom right corner.

Kuroko Tetsuya: I love your project! The abstract composition of the rainbow is so well-thought out! I can really tell there is hand of an artist behind every stroke! The basketball in the middle really reflects your own love for the sport. I can't wait to see more artwork!

Just wondering, do you support gay rights?

After that, Kuroko quit the art course and snuck into the school archives, pulling up a certain Kagami Taiga's schedule and signed him up for the art course with righteous vengeance coursing through his veins.