41 – I heard what was said…
Timothy wakes to familiar walls and the feeling of peace that washes over him is immediately soothing, like a voice welcoming him home.
0-0-0-0-0
42 – A call in the midst of the crowd…
Gibbs wakes to unfamiliar walls, but the feeling of peace that washes over him is immediately soothing, like a voice welcoming him home.
0-0-0-0-0
43 – I take my place among you…
"Hello Gibbs."
"Hello McGee." Gibbs looks confused for a moment, but then a smirk crosses his face. "Do I even call you McGee anymore?"
"McGee is fine," Timothy says with a smile. "Or Tim. Whatever you're most comfortable with."
"Okay," Gibbs nods. "Where are we?"
"Let me show you." Timothy sweeps out his arm, indicating the door to Gibbs' room, and the two men walk out into the corridor.
They walk down familiar paths and Timothy is surprised at how few questions Gibbs asks along the way. His companion takes everything in, listening carefully as Timothy points out a few items of interest, but his attention wanders each time they cross the threshold into a new room or when another Watcher passes them by.
The number of humans Timothy has acclimated are too numerous to count, but the reactions are generally the same. Confusion. Awe. Curiosity. It's true that Gibbs has always been quiet, but Timothy had expected rapid fire questions once they'd arrived. He'd certainly spent the last few years on Earth probing the Watcher every chance he got, but was always left disappointed when Timothy failed to expound on his true purpose.
Timothy wonders what is holding Gibbs back, but knows pushing will only drive the man further away. The next location Timothy usually takes his charges to is the commissary, but something tells him that Gibbs needs something a bit more grandiose. He alters their route so that they head toward the outer walls of the compound, where the ceilings are higher and light streams in from stained glass windows.
"It's beautiful," Gibbs whispers, and Timothy can't help but agree. The balcony they've stepped onto offers one of the grandest views of the grounds. "I guess I always knew Heaven would be beautiful, but this…"
"This isn't Heaven," Timothy corrects.
"It's not? But… I thought…"
"I know," Timothy says kindly. And the relieved look on Gibbs' face makes everything clear. "Ah. I see. That is why you've been so quiet. You've been looking for your family."
Gibbs stares down Timothy, but he will not wilt under the intense look. The silent glare is enough of an answer, and he will not push Gibbs for a verbal confirmation that isn't needed.
"It's a common mistake," Timothy reassures him. "Gibbs, the truth is that this place is merely a pit stop, of a sort. Your journey isn't quite over. You must choose which path you wish to take next."
"I don't understand."
Timothy turns away from Gibbs and stares out at the sprawling landscape. "We call it the Choice."
0-0-0-0-0
44 – Into the unknown…
"Any change?"
"None."
"The doctor said that –"
"I know what the doctor said, Ellie."
"Tony, I –"
"No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It's just… I've lost so many people I care about. Too many. I don't want to lose any more. You understand?"
"Of course. There's still a chance…"
"I know."
0-0-0-0-0
45 – My rendezvous is appointed…
"In the simplest of terms, you now have the opportunity to select your destiny."
Timothy and Gibbs have finally made their way to the commissary. Quiet conversations provide a hum of background noise and no one looks their way after they've settled in at a corner table. The Watcher is glad that he has not changed his appearance to look any different than Tim McGee. Not only is it more comfortable for Gibbs, but it prevents gawking and allows for a greater level of privacy.
"What are my options?" Gibbs asks.
"Option one is to return to Earth."
"Like reincarnation?"
Timothy laughs. "No, not at all. Would it be surprising to learn that Leroy Jethro Gibbs still lives? You are currently in a coma, and the prognosis is uncertain. Should you choose to return to Earth, you would make nothing short of a sudden and miraculous recovery and continue to live your life."
"And Tim? He's… you're… still alive?"
"Uh, yes. I'm in the same boat as you, as it were."
Gibbs leans back in his chair and crosses his arms on his chest. "Okay. What else?"
"If you choose that option, you will not remember anything of this place or the conversations we have here." At Gibbs' nod, Timothy continues. "Upon your return to Earth, you will of course eventually die, as all humans do, and you will not be granted a second choice. You will simply move on."
"Move… on?" Gibbs leans forward with interest. "As in –"
"Yes," Timothy replies, leaning forward as well. "That is the second option of the Choice. But Gibbs, I cannot stress this next part enough: I have no knowledge of what, or who, may be waiting for you beyond should you choose this option. So I urge you not to flippantly make a decision based on who has passed before you. Do you understand?"
Gibbs looks disappointed for only a moment, but then his coolness returns and he eases back into his seat. Timothy can't help but feel the same confidence that Gibbs is radiating. He has no doubt that Shannon and Kelly will be there to greet him as he makes his transition. Unless, of course, they had been tagged for recruitment. But the odds of that are astronomical.
"All right," Gibbs says with a nod. "Where do I sign?"
Timothy shakes his head. "Not so fast, boss. For one thing, no one should make their choice without thinking it over first. And for another… you have a third option. One that isn't offered to many." Gibbs waves his hand in a get on with it gesture, and Timothy sits up straighter. "We would like for you to consider becoming a Watcher."
Timothy feels a little proud when he's able to take Gibbs by surprise. He doesn't telecast it, but the slight widening of Gibbs' eyes gives it all away.
"Me? Become a Watcher?" Gibbs narrows his eyes. "Why?"
Timothy shrugs. "Does there need to be a specific reason?" Apparently there does, as Gibbs' eyes narrow even further. "Recruitment into the Watcher program isn't science, Gibbs. There are simply those on Earth who are chosen. It doesn't happen often, and even when it does, there is no guarantee that becoming a Watcher is the path a person chooses. It is a very specific calling. You will have to be the one who decides if you wish to accept it or not."
"Is that why you were sent to me? To recruit me into your little Watcher program?"
Timothy bites back the reflexive retort he wishes to give (little Watcher program? really?). "Gibbs, I was assigned to you for one purpose: to ease your pain through your final days on Earth in preparation for the Choice. You cheated death so many times, I never thought it would take so long to get to this point, yet here we finally are. I did not, and I will not, offer you counsel on which path you should take. The choice is yours."
"So I can decide what to do?"
"Yes."
"And then what?"
Timothy's smile is bittersweet. "And then my job as your Watcher is complete."
0-0-0-0-0
46 – I answer that I cannot answer…
"You've done well with Leroy."
"Thank you, Pan."
"Do you have any indications of what he will choose?"
"He has a wife and daughter I am quite convinced are waiting for him," the Watcher says without hesitation. "He'll choose to move on."
"And you, my friend? What will you choose?"
"I… I am uncertain."
0-0-0-0-0
47 – Those that know me seek me…
"Watcher."
"Good evening, Watcher."
"Welcome back, Watcher."
Timothy nods to each of them in turn, his regret growing with each step he takes, wishing he hadn't emerged from his impromptu meeting with Pan in his usual form.
"McGee?"
Timothy spins around and sees Gibbs leaning against a pillar. He's thankful he can't blush as he watches Gibbs take in his appearance.
"You look… different."
Timothy sighs. "Yes, well…" He suddenly feels a nervousness that he hasn't experienced since the first few months on Gibbs' team. "I can change back if you need me to…"
"No, don't do that for me," Gibbs says, walking forward to close the distance between them. "You shouldn't hide who you are just to make me feel comfortable."
Timothy offers Gibbs a small smile of thanks before leading Gibbs down the passageway.
"You're important here."
"I'm really not."
"Clearly these people look up to you," Gibbs says, sweeping an arm out to encompass fellow Watchers who are walking by a bit too slowly to be considered casual.
"I've just been doing this a long time. They will forget about me soon enough."
"I doubt that," Gibbs says, and then he pauses and steps in front of Timothy. "Why would they forget about you? Are you going someplace?"
Timothy sighs. "I am also being awarded the Choice," he explains. "You were my last assignment."
0-0-0-0-0
48 – Yet understand God not in the least…
"I met Tim's mom today."
"Yeah?"
"She said that Tim has a DNR order in his records."
"I know. So does Gibbs."
"But that means, if they continue to go downhill…"
"I know."
"I don't understand. It's not fair! To get them out of that fire… to have them live, only to still die… What was the point?"
"Maybe to give us a chance to say goodbye."
"I don't want to say goodbye."
0-0-0-0-0
49 – No doubt I have died myself ten thousand times before…
"If I choose to go back to Earth, then doesn't that mean your time with me was just a big waste?"
Timothy raises one eyebrow at the question. "Hardly."
They've spent the morning wandering through the grounds together. Gibbs has finally started asking a lot of questions about the Choice and the potential outcomes for each option. Timothy knows it's the investigator in him, but he's a bit surprised at Gibbs' thoroughness. He had originally thought that Gibbs would have taken a short amount of deliberation time, but ultimately decide to move on. Apparently he is taking Timothy's advice of thinking it over to heart.
"What was the purpose of having me talk about Shannon and Kelly? Why all that talk about forgiving myself when it didn't matter in the end?"
"Of course it mattered," Timothy argues. "The Choice is not to be taken lightly. You have to relieve yourself of all things that tie you to your previous life in order to move onto your new one with purity of heart and spirit. Your guilt was holding you back."
"And what is holding you back, Tim?" Gibbs gives him an insightful look. "You haven't told me what choice you are making."
Timothy avoids Gibbs' eyes as best he can as he bends over and picks up a rock, only to toss it back down onto the path again. "It is different for a Watcher. I do not have a life in which to return."
"You are the one who kept insisting that you are Tim McGee," Gibbs counters. "Doesn't that mean you could return to that life?"
"In theory, yes," Timothy nods. "But I will also lose all memory of this place if I do. I am… tentative about letting go of my history here. Additionally, there is no precedent for a Watcher returning to Earth. The small number of Watchers who have been granted the Choice have all chosen to move on. I always anticipated doing the same."
"You still haven't answered my question. You said it was my guilt that was holding me back from making a good decision," Gibbs says. "So what is it that's holding you back?"
Timothy is silent for a long period of time, but Gibbs waits patiently for an answer. Timothy knows he could easily sidestep the question and placate Gibbs with a simple response, but he's tired of denying himself the truth.
"It's you, boss," Timothy says honestly.
0-0-0-0-0
50 – It is happiness…
"I don't understand."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I'll… do my best to explain, though I'm not really sure I understand it myself." Timothy leads them to a bench and waits for Gibbs to sit down before he joins him. "I've been a Watcher for a very long time."
"You mentioned that before."
Timothy shakes his head. "What I mean is… I am one of the first. There are very few who have done it longer than me, and those who have, were never human. I am the first to have been recruited." Gibbs nods slowly in understanding. "I have asked to be granted the Choice for many, many years. Long since before you, or your father, or your father's father was born. It wasn't until I was assigned to you that it was agreed that you would be my final assignment. And I'll be honest, Gibbs… I was overjoyed that I would never again have to live a life on Earth that was not originally my own. I was ready to move on."
"And now?" Gibbs interjects. "You said you were ready. Are you still?"
"I'm not as ready as I thought I was," Timothy admits. "This assignment… being Tim McGee… has changed me in ways that I never predicted. Pan, er… Phanuel, a friend, stated it was because I was similar to Tim McGee. But I'm not sure that's it. Maybe in part, but –"
"You're losing me, McGee. What are you saying?"
"It doesn't matter," Timothy states. "What matters is I felt so intertwined with the life I was living, I found that I didn't want it to end. I've never felt that way before. Never. And it jeopardized what I was doing, putting you in danger of leaving that life behind without being prepared… all because of my connection to you. Well, you and Tony, Ellie… and Sarah and my family… all of it."
Gibbs is quiet, and Timothy knows he isn't explaining it well, but the more he talks, the better he understands it himself.
"I was bitter," he continues. "At humanity. At being denied what I wanted for so long. At the status I had acquired among the Watchers. All of it. Not once did I ever think I would be in this position, talking to a potential recruit, and admitting that I am actually considering returning to Earth."
Timothy shakes his head in amusement and he smiles at Gibbs. "Phanuel was concerned my bitterness would affect my ability to make the Choice with a clear head. But now I've realized that is actually you, Gibbs. You and the team you asked me to join. But it might not be a bad thing like I had feared. I was happy there. Maybe I'm not ready to give that up."
"And if I am ready to give that all up?" Gibbs asks quietly. "If I choose to move on, will that change your mind about returning to Earth?"
"I can't say with certainty that I wouldn't keep it mind. I wanted to be on your team, Gibbs. From that first case in Norfolk, I knew it's where I wanted to be."
"But if you return, you won't remember all of this," Gibbs reminds him. "You won't remember that you wanted to be on my team because I was your assignment."
Timothy shakes his head. "It was Tim McGee's dream… my dream… to be an NCIS agent. I'd want to be on your team, Gibbs. Even if I don't remember that small part of the reason I wanted to be on it in the first place."
Time passes as they sit in silence. Timothy knows Gibbs is getting close to finalizing his decision.
"I guess we're more alike than I thought," Gibbs observes quietly. "I thought I knew what I wanted to do. Now I'm not so sure. Not because of what you said," Gibbs interrupts the objection Timothy was about to start. "Not entirely. You are right, though. We are a good team. You. Me. Tony and Ellie. Hell, even Vance. There is good work still to be done, and I don't like leaving a job half-finished. But moving on… well, as you can imagine, that has a certain appeal for me."
"I know."
"And though I respect what you do here, I'm not really sure it's for me."
"I understand," Timothy says. "As I said, it is a calling."
Gibbs takes another long look around them and stands. Timothy joins him.
"Enough talk. I'm ready."
Timothy grins. "So let me officially ask you this question," Timothy starts and he places his hands on both of Gibbs' shoulders. "Leroy Jethro Gibbs, have you made your choice?"
"Yes," Gibbs responds solemnly.
"Then we must go."
0-0-0-0-0
51 – I stay only a minute longer…
"Is saying I told you so considered bad form in a moment such as this?"
Timothy laughs. "When has that ever held you back in the past? I take it this means you are unsurprised by my decision?"
"Not in the least," Pan declares smartly. "I am thankful that you have made your choice with clarity, of mind, spirit and soul. Though I will miss you, my friend."
Timothy forgoes ceremony and pulls Pan into a hug. "I will miss you too." They pull apart. "Do you think… is it possible that we will see each other again?"
"All things are possible to him who believes," Pan answers.
0-0-0-0-0
52 – I stop somewhere, waiting for you…
"Ellie? It's Tony. You need to get to the hospital right away. You're not going to believe this."
0-0-0-0-0
The End.