Wait, what?

Didn't they understand? Why was it such a challenge for them to acknowledge the pain I was in? I actually meant something to them, didn't I? Or was I reading it wrong like I always did? Did I misinterpret the situation again? Was I justbeing
paranoid? What was wrong with me? Well, a lot of things were, actually. That was a stupid question. But, then again, Stiles always asks stupid questions, doesn't he?

I fisted my hands due to the immense pain blossoming like a spring flower inside my chest. The clenching, crushing pain seemed to engulf me within seconds and I took a deep breath in an ill-fated attempt at easing the growing pressure. If anything,it
made

it so much worse and I immediately regretted it, like I regretted every other life decision I'd ever made that lead me to this point in my life. This black hole of depression was constantly sucking me deeper and now, I didn't have mybrother tohelp
pull me back out of it.

Not anymore.

I clenched my eyes shut as tightly as I could manage until I felt a stabbing pain behind my eyelids. 'Well this can't be good.' I thought to myself before I let my dark eyes peel open again. Small, black dots danced around in my vision for a few
/moments but I just blinked them away, along with the tears building. When the dots faded, I noticed that my vision was still swimming so I took an even deeper breath than the previous one and closed my eyes again, silently willing the tears away.

Why did this have to hurt so much? I'd never really considered myself to be a part of either the McCall or the Hale pack before, so why was it like they were stabbing me in the heart with a rusty spoon? Maybe actually hearing it said aloudwas
what had brought all of reality crashing down around me. I shook my head and tried to refocus my attention back on the History textbook at my desk. I spun in the swivel chair a few times until I'd decided my head was clear enough to continue studying.

We had an exam coming up shortly and if I wanted my grades to remain unaffected by all this bullshit, then I knew I had to get my head back onto school. Well, I'd pick school any day rather than the former packs that I'd been a part of but who never reallyaccepted
me. Oh well, if they wanted me out of their lives, so be it. But that didn't mean I'd just go back to them the first time the asked me to or when they realised they needed me again. No. My foot was firmly planted to the ground.

I refused to go back to them and I'd continue to refuse unless it somehow affected my dad or - God forbid - Melissa. Slowly, I began to neatly scribble down the most important parts of the chapter I was currently reading about the Slave Trade before Iran
my series of highlighters over the most important information from each note. With each of my small study cards filled with information, I decided to stick them all up on the wall above my desk so I could read over them everyday whenever I was
/seated here. It may not be the most practical study method but I didn't really care. So long as my Star Wars posters and memorabilia remained untouched.

I felt my breath hitch as I sensed an unknown presence behind me on my bed. Hesitantly, I turned to face the unknown entity before I sighed in relief. It was only Derek. But then realisation hit me like tidal wave and I glared daggers into him. He rosehis
hands in mock surrender and I almost swung a punch at him but refrained because I knew that he, as well as the rest of the pack, thought that I was puny and defenseless. Well, they're wrong. And I'd prove it to them one day. That didn't mean that
ithad to be today, or even tomorrow for that matter. I still needed Deaton's help locating a few of my mother's old things before I could reach my full potential.

Deaton had known my mother well and I'd recently discovered that both her and my father were former hunters. The more you know, am I right? I'd also learned that Talia Hale was my mother's sister. But she was adopted into the Hale family after her parents
/passed away tragically. Despite my mother being a huntress, the Hale's accepted her and even let her remain a hunter. She was widely respected, from what I'd learned, and Talia and Peter had loved her like she was their own actual flesh and blood.
/It had been recently revealed to me that I'd been trained as a hunter from the young age of 5 so that I could defend myself.

I'd retained the knowledge in a deeper recess of my brain but it was only there because my mother's death had sparked something to change in me. I'd vowed with my father when I was old enough, that I'd never become a hunter because I didn't want to take
/the risk of hurting the people I cared about. Well, that's irony for you.

"Stiles..." Derek began, his deep voice sending my thoughts scattering to every side of my brain. Great... I snapped my eyes to his and he took that as his indication to continue. "Look, I understand why you've been avoiding the pack for the week at school
/but you need to stop this. It's stupid and has to end now." Derek stated nonchalantly.

Oh, he understood? So that made it okay then? I scoffed quietly but knew he'd heard it. He didn't even know that we were adopted cousins and I hadn't ever mentioned my mother to Peter and he'd never asked, so it was easier to avoid the subject rather
/than bring it up when it was undoubtedly a painful topic. I didn't want to give them more than one reason to hate me and ditch me. Oh, wait, they'd already done that!

"You couldn't possibly know how I feel, because the pack actually wants you around; they respect and accept you." I spat vehemently in reply. He gave a bitter, humourless laugh and stood from where he'd
/previously been sprawled out on my bed. He stalked over to me like a predator stalking it's weak, defenseless prey and I backed up, like the good little actor, into my desk.

"Well, maybe if you spoke a little less or tried not to insult the pack members, they might actually want you around!" Derek hissed angrily as e leaned in a close as he could to me and caged me to my desk with his arms on either side of me. I almost punched
/him in his perfect white teeth for that comment. Almost... Instead I just let my mouth run and let the worries flow right out of it.

"Oh, really? Well, if you guys think that I'm going to change everything about who I am just to accommodate you, you're all so very mistaken. Scott's the one who got changed, not me. So why should I have to change for a bunch of people who are all very
/ready to abandon me at a moment's notice? Why should I change for people who couldn't care less about me? Sarcasm and snarky comments are my only defense at times, and that's how I've always learned to deal with situations that terrify me. Why don't
/you people understand that?!" I ranted, all of my anger, stress, fear and a certain amount of detestation fleeing my system as the words tumbled free of my lips.

Derek was silent. After a few moments, he actually spoke: "We do care about you. And we all understand that certain things are terrifying for humans to witness but you need to know that we only reject you or your help sometimes because we don't want you
/getting hurt." He rationalised. I glared heatedly at him before I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Then why did you tell me that I'm not pack and I've never been?" I asked, voice quieter and my anger more subdued. He sighed through his nose and ran a hand down his face wearily. "And if you guys cared so much, why did you forget my birthday last week?"
/I whispered. I knew he'd heard it and his eyes snapped to the floor as guilt washed over his features.

"Stiles I -" I cut him off by shoving him back, out of me personal space before I took a deep breath and indicated to the window. He looked so betrayed. I made my gestures more insistent and even walked over to the window and pushed it up before I stepped
/out of the way and walked passed him, making sure I didn't brush his shoulder on the way around to my bed.

"I'm going to bed. Good night, Derek." I stated as I wormed my way under the covers. He gave a dejected sigh before he slipped one leg out of the window. He paused, straddling the sill, and poked his head back in.

"We need your help, Stiles." He stated quietly. I turned away from him and he sighed again. "Jackson's back and we've caught wind of another pack coming into our territory, so wee need your help." He explained. I shrugged the duvet off - I still had my
/jeans and shirts from earlier today on - and sat up before turning to face him, uncertain. Why did they need me?

"Well, why do you need me?" I asked incredulously. Derek swung his foot back into my room but stayed seated on the sill.

"Because you think outside the box, moreso than anyone, and we regret what we did to you." Derek replied quietly as he looked directly into my whiskey-coloured eyes. I sighed. I'd vowed not to help them.

"No." I stated. "You abandoned me. So I'll abandon you." Derek's face fell and became a few tones lighter. Without waiting for him to say anything else, I began to strip my shirts and jeans off. He took the hint and leapt out the window.

"Good riddance." I spat quietly.

Someone would have to be dying before I helped them again...