AN: I really shouldn't be uploading this, but I can't deal with having complete chapters stuck on my iPod and not upload them. Please enjoy!

Orihara Izaya loved humans. He loved every single one of them indiscriminately (barring Shizu-chan, who barely counted as human anyway), and without pause. But he did have his favourites.

There were the Doctors Kishitani, who were so similar, and yet completely different in their adoration for their headless houseguest. There were all the gang leaders who thought they could manipulate the greatest underground information dealer to ever exist; their naivety provided Izaya with endless amusement. The general populace of Ikebukuro was, of course, included in Izaya's favourites (again, excluding Shizu-chan); they could be so very predictable, but their unique ability to simply flow with the chaos that ran rampant within their city was beautiful. And then there was Ichigo.

Admittedly, Izaya wasn't convinced that the otherworldly swordsman was entirely human, but Ichigo insisted, and so Izaya was more than happy to extend his love in the surly teenager's direction. Not that Ichigo appreciated it.

Their meeting had been entirely (not-at-all) coincidental; Izaya had heard whispers of a new supernatural presence in Ikebukuro; a teenage boy wearing all black, with two large blades on his person, who could walk on air and was apparently only semi-visible.

These vague accounts had piqued Izaya's interest, and being the information hoarder that he was, he had immediately gone on the hunt. What kind of information dealer would he be if he didn't have all the information, after all?

Izaya had spent the better half of the day strolling the streets of Ikebukuro, listening out for any clues as to the whereabouts of his newest prey. He'd had all of his informants on the lookout as well, and even his sisters had been roped in (with the promise that Izaya would introduce them should they not be the ones to find him). So imagine Izaya's surprise – and delight – when he had run across a scowling, orange haired, sword carrying (entirely visible) teenager at the park, who called himself Kurosaki Ichigo.

That was when he had learned that Ichigo was looking for him too. It had sent a thrill through Izaya's entire being, that the subject of his interest had returned his feelings. Kind of.

Okay, not at all, but clearly they had been destined to meet, so Izaya had taken it as a win.

It had gone a little something like this:

"Hello there! Welcome to Ikebukuro! My name is Orihara Izaya, what's yours?"

Beaming up at the strange man-boy, Izaya felt his soul shiver. There was something about this one, in his scowling mouth and his warm eyes, in his tense body and his protective aura. Oh yes, something wonderful was in his grasp.

"Kurosaki Ichigo," the younger male grunted. "I've been looking for you."

"Oh?" Izaya inquired, delighted. "Well, you've found me! What can I do for you today, Ku-ro-sa-ki-kun?"

Dark brown eyes tightened in reaction to Izaya's teasing tone, but Ichigo refrained from commenting. "I heard that you're the one to talk to when you need information?" He asked instead.

Vaguely wondering who had sent the newcomer his way (people were generally warned away from him), Izaya tipped an imaginary hat in Ichigo's direction. "For a price, of course; one can't be an information broker if he gives it all out for free now, can he?"

"Information broker?" Ichigo raised a brow.

Izaya spread his hands in a 'what can I say' gesture. "My hobby is my life, Kurosaki-kun, and I'm very good at it too."

His hobby being, of course, knowing everything there was to know about human beings.

Ichigo frowned. "I don't have any money."

Well. That was somehow perfect. "It's fine, Kurosaki-kun," Izaya assured him. "There is something else you can do for me instead…"

"I'm not killing anybody." Was Ichigo's immediate response, and Izaya wanted to beam. This boy just got more and more interesting by the minute!

"Oh no, nothing like that," Izaya laughed, waving his hands. "I just wonder if you would stay with me for a while, like a bodyguard of sorts, and answer a few of my questions?"

Because as much fun as it would be to trick, and cajole, and manipulate all the answers out of this man-child, Izaya was also dying to just ask; to see what responses he could wrangle from the teen, and how he would react to certain questions, tones, facial expressions!

Being straightforward (ish) would be just as much fun in this instance, Izaya felt.

Ichigo's frown deepened. "Do you even need a bodyguard?"

Izaya laughed delightedly at the pointed question. "No, not usually," he freely admitted. "Sometimes people get a little angry with me, but I can protect myself just fine." He didn't mention Shizu-chan. That was just asking for trouble.

"Then why do you want me to act like one?" The teenager sounded confused.

"Firstly, your intimidation factor is phenomenal," Izaya informed him. "The reactions to your presence alone would be priceless. And secondly, having you close would be very convenient for me."

"Convenient how?" Ichigo asked, eyeing Izaya with suspicion.

Izaya chuckled. "Now, now, Kurosaki-kun, I just told you! I have very many questions for you, and I would greatly appreciate it if you would hang around long enough for me to ask them." He peered innocently up into that scowling face.

"And that's all?" Ichigo sounded doubtful. "I answer some questions, and you'll help me out?" Deep brown eyes practically screamed his distrust.

So expressive! Izaya was almost vibrating with excitement. "Indeed. So, do we have a deal?" He extended his hand for the teen to shake, a winning smile upon his lips (Izaya, despite popular opinion, was well aware of the difference between a smile and a smirk, and he could, actually, do both).

The large hand that enveloped his own, warm and calloused, caused Izaya's wide smile to sharpen into the smirk that he was so well known for. The kid had no idea what he was getting into; powerful and otherworldly he may be, but obviously still a teenager all the same. Izaya's questions would make the Spanish Inquisition look like small talk.

"Deal."

AN: Lets get some things out of the way; there won't be any overarching plotline or anything, because I'm nowhere near smart enough to write anything like Durarara!'s massive, intertwining plotlines. It's like a flashfic, and it's basically just me having Ichigo interact with Izaya and the rest. I apologise if this disappoints anyone. Let me know what you thought!

- Kelly