Face the music

Shepard knew that there had been a reason for her staying out in space for so long after the end of the suicide mission. Frankly, she was glad that she had stayed. If she hadn't, who else were they going to send to deal with the Kenson-situation? It seemed no one believed the reapers were coming, apart from a very limited number of people. And a very, very small portion of that limited number of people were ideal for the mission. She wasn't with the Alliance at the moment, so if things went to hell, they could simply deny all knowledge of her mission.

Just after getting off the vidcall with Hackett, Shepard had ordered Joker to plot a course for Aratoth. She stood down in the shuttle bay, adjusting her armour for the umpteenth time. Going in alone made her slightly nervous, she had to admit. She had a bad feeling about this, but tried to brush it off as a reaction to anything that had something to do with the reapers.

After letting out a sharp sigh, Shepard grabbed her trusty Carnifex and gave it a once over.

"Commander, we're approaching Aratoht. If you want to get in unnoticed, I'd say get on that shuttle now." Joker's voice rang out.

"Copy that." She holstered her weapon.

Just as she was about to set her foot on the shuttle floor, the sound of the elevator caused her to pause. She glanced over her shoulder and her eyes fell on Thane. His face, usually a stoic mask, was filled with fear and worry.

"Siha, there must be another way." He said and grabbed her gloved hands. "The thought of you going in there alone makes me uncomfortable."

"You worry too much." She gave his hands a squeeze. "I'll be back before you know it. I'll grab Kenson, stop the reapers from coming into our galaxy and then we'll celebrate in my quarters."

The attempt at humour did nothing to calm Thane. Instead, he just gave her a look that made him resemble a kicked puppy. But he knew that she couldn't just let this go.

"Please, siha..." He pressed his forehead against hers. "Be careful."

"I promise."

He bit his jaws together and gave her a short nod. Before she stepped onto the shuttle, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his lips.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too, my siha. Come back to me soon."

Well, it turned out Shepard was right to have a bad feeling about the mission. Two days. She woke up two days after arriving on Aratoht with a pounding headache, a stomach that screamed for food and a throat that was as dry as the Sahara desert. But adrenaline is one hell of a drug. While she should have been weak and barely functioning, she was as good as every, barely even noticing how her body complained to what she was putting it through.

While she fought her way through the base, she tried to not think about her last promise to Thane. It had been a complete and utter lie. She hadn't been careful and she hadn't been back as quickly as she thought. And as she launched the asteroid towards the relay, she wondered if she was going to come back at all. It was certainly looking bleak, especially since the Normandy wasn't responding to her hails.

She also didn't try to think about the hundreds of thousands batarians' blood she was about to have on her hands. Later, when she was safe and sound with a hot meal in her stomach, she could think about the consequences of her actions. But while on that rock, her main goal was survival.

As she spoke with Harbinger and allowed her body to rest for a while since she woke up in the medbay, she started to become aware of the complaining of her muscles, the dryness of her throat and the stabbing pain in her stomach. Somehow, she managed to keep it together. She had always been good at that. Just keeping it together.

It was first when she stood over the galaxy map, leaning heavily against the railing, that she got hit with the full force of her body's weakness. Her legs shook, everything breath burned in her throat and she had to use every single bit of strength she had left to stand up.

"Siha." A familiar voice said from behind her.

Thane's voice was thick with worry. She couldn't really blame him. She had been gone for two days and now returned looking like shit after having destroyed a whole system. If the roles had been reversed, she'd be a mess.

"Thane." Her voice was croaked.

With a low groan, she collapsed onto the steps of the stair. Thane knelt before her and removed her helmet, looking at her with large, worried eyes. His hand ran over her cheek.

"Help me up." She requested, reaching towards him with a shaking arm.

From the armoury, Jacob emerged. She knew that it wouldn't take long before the news of her return spread around the ship and that she'd be swarmed by concerned squad mates. She'd deal with that later. Right now, she just wanted to sleep for a millions years.

Gently, Thane wrapped an arm around her waist and eased her into a standing position. The world swayed in front of Shepard's face and she blinked a few times, trying to clear her vision of the black spots that were appearing. Yeah, she was going to pass out. Before she could warn her lover of this, her eyes rolled back and she hit the ground with a loud crash.

Shepard sat on one of the cots in the medbay, with her head in her hands. Admiral Hackett had just finished speaking to her and had left her with conflicted feelings. She knew that she did the right thing, she bought them more time to prepare for the reapers. But, she had killed thousand of batarians. Their blood was on her hands. She wasn't going to get away with this, she knew that much. It was just better to get it over with, to turn herself over.

Sliding off the cot, she ran a hand through her hair. Her stomach was twisted into a tight knot, and she felt slightly sick. They weren't going to listen, she was pretty certain of this. But she had to try. For the sake of everyone in this galaxy.

With a heavy heart, she walked through the mess. Her head was bowed down and she refused to look at any of the workers. They were Cerberus and despite this, she had gone through hell and back to save them. They meant a lot to her. She trusted them and she hoped they trusted her. It wasn't until she reached the elevator that she looked up.

Thankfully, it was empty. She really wasn't feeling like talking to anyone. If someone tried to stop her, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to resist.

Ignoring Kelly's cheerful Hey Shepard, she walked up to the galaxy map. Opening it, she set their destination to the Citadel. Once she had done this, she hung her head, biting her jaws together.

"Heading towards the Citadel. ETA one hour." Joker announced.

"EDI, tell the squad to assemble in the comm room."

"Yes, commander."

It was harder than Shepard had thought to say goodbye to her band of misfits. They had become her family, her friends. It had also been more emotional than she had expected. Even Miranda, the Cerberus bitch herself, had gotten a bit misty-eyed. Samara had given her a hug, thanking the commander for everything she had done for her.

One by one, her squad left the ship to book a ship to get back to wherever they were needed. Wrex had sent a shuttle to get Grunt back to Tuchanka, Mordin had said something about Sur'kesh and Tali needed to get back to the fleet.

The one who lingered the longest on the ship was Thane. He had waited until Shepard had said goodbye to everyone else before approaching her with a stoic look on his face. His hands were clasped behind his back.

"I'm coming with you." He said, his voice lacking emotion.

"What?" Shepard raised her eyebrows. "Like hell you are."

"I refuse to lose you, siha." A hard tone had crept into his voice. "The Alliance may do what they please with me, I will not leave you."

"Thane Krios, as your CO, I order you to get your glorious green ass off my ship."

"I refuse." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Thane..." Shepard placed her hands on his biceps, her voice more serious this time. "What about Kolyat? He needs you. And what if you get that transplant? The doctors on Earth aren't exactly used to performing complicated surgeries on drell. The Citadel is your best bet."

He bit his jaws together and unfolded his arms. His gaze lowered to the floor and he let out a sigh.

"Please, for me." Shepard begged.

There was no verbal response from Thane. Instead, he pulled her into a tight hug, holding her close against his chest. It was vibrating and she suspected he was fighting back tears. And to be frank, so was she.

"I love you." He whispered against her neck.

"I love you too, Thane."

They kissed deeply, savouring what could very well be their last kiss. Neither of them said it out loud, but they both knew it. It was more than possible they never saw each other in person again. The thought made Shepard's chest feel tight and she stepped away before her resolve faltered.

"Get out of here before I change my mind." She attempted to smile, but she failed miserably.

"Keep in touch." He kissed her again. "I have already lost one siha. Losing you as well... The thought is unbearable."

"Hey, no one is losing anyone."

"I'll take your word for it."

After hugging each other one more time, Thane grabbed the bag with the few things he had brought onto the Normandy. As he walked out the airlock, Shepard felt a lump from in her throat and she swallowed deeply to keep herself from bursting into tears.

"Hey, Commander..." Joker limped up behind her. "Ready to go?"

"Yep." Shepard wiped a hand over her cheek, just in case any tears had fallen. "Let's go and face the music."

So, yeah, this is going to be the last chapter of this story.

Thank you to all of you who have favourited, followed and reviewed. If you like my writing, please check out my other stories.

I also have plans on doing a story where Thane joins the Normandy to fight the reapers.

Thanks again for all your support :)