Fish Are Friends, Not Food

"Right then. The meeting has officially come to order. Let us all say the pledge."

There's a pledge? No-one told me about a pledge!

"I am a nice shark. Not a mindless eating machine."

Nonetheless, Destiny raised a fin and mumbled along, trying to follow the words of the giant blur that was called Bruce, in front of an even larger blur that looked like a sunken ship.

"If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food."

Destiny smiled at the idea of changing image – she'd do anything to change the image of the giant blur in front of her, swimming in front of an even larger blur. Seeing the two sharks that flanked either side of her wouldn't have been too bad either. But at the least, she could agree about fish being friends. After all, one such fish friend had got her in touch with Bruce and his chums, and so far, it was proving to be a most enjoyable experience.

"Now then," Bruce said. "We've got a new member of Fish-friendly Sharks. So I'd like for her to swim up here, and introduce herself."

"What, me?" Destiny asked.

"Course," Hammer said. "All new members must introduce themselves to the group upon their day of initiation."

"Yeah, remember what happened with Shane?"

"Shane? Thought we didn't mention Shane."

"Oh, yeah. Not after it happened."

Destiny didn't know who Shane was, was, but nonetheless swam up towards the giant blur and-

"Ow!"

"Too far," Bruce said.

"Right, right," Destiny said. She took her place at the podium as Bruce joined the other two smaller sharks – it felt large, curved, and hard. Like someone had dropped an anchor on her head. Resting her fins on whatever it was, she began to speak.

"Um, hello," she said. "My name is Destiny-"

"Hello Destiny," the sharks chorused.

"And I'm a whale shark."

"Whale shark?" Hammer asked. "What the heck is a whale shark?"

"It's-"

"Aw, relax mate, least it's not a dolphin."

"Dolphins? Stinking dolphins!"

"Um, anyway," Destiny continued. "I was brought into the Marine Life Institute for short-sightedness. Had a small pond, which wasn't so bad. Bailey was worse. I…oh, I did have a pipe pal with Dory."

"So what did you eat?" Hammer asked.

"Huh? Oh, fish," she said. "Dead ones the feeders gave me." Silence hung in the water, so she carried on. "So, anyway, got back here a month or so back, and Dory thought it would be a good idea for me to get to know the neighbourhood. Make new friends, see the sights…heh, see, and, yeah, so I'm here." She smiled at the three blurs in front of her. It might have been her imagination, but the two smaller ones seemed…distant, somehow. Not in terms of distance – that would have made them easier to see, but…detached, maybe? But the big one in the centre, the one called Bruce…was he…crying?

He sniffed, before saying "That's the most beautiful story I ever heard."

"Really?" Destiny asked. "Huh, thanks. I can tell you a few other stories if you like – brave ones, incredible ones, ones were everything goes inside out."

"So, Destiny," Bruce said. He swam over. "Now that you're a member of FFS, what do you think is the first thing you have to do to get with the program?"

"Well, I was hoping you guys would tell me. I mean-"

"Step one," Bruce declared, shoving Destiny aside. "Admit you have a problem."

"Preach it Bruce!" Chum called out.

Destiny was about to say that her only problem was an eyesight one, and that she'd admitted it a long time ago. But as she opened her mouth to speak-

"Step two – understanding that becoming a fish-friendly shark is not something that happens overnight."

"But I am friendly," Destiny murmured.

"Step three – accept that you're going to have a few bumps along the way."

Shouldn't that be part of step two?

"Step three – start small. Reduce your intake of fish instead of going cold coral. Then-"

"Whoah, whoa," Destiny protested. "Who said anything about not eating fish?"

Silence hung in the water once more. Silence broken only by awkwardness, unease, and more awkwardness. And poor eyesight or not, Destiny could tell that all the sharks were feeling it.

"Mate," Hammer said. "Ya…do know that we don't eat fish right?"

"Well, not much," Chum added.

"Huh?"

"That Fish-friendly Sharks are all about us changing the image of sharks for a better tomorrow?"

"But I am friendly," Destiny said. "I've already got fish friends."

"I know, I know," Bruce said. He swam up and tried to put a fin over her neck, only to back off – Destiny was reminded of something that Sigourney Weaver once told her, that whale sharks were the largest species of shark in all the seven seas. How that women knew so much, she had no idea. "But one isn't enough Destiny. You've gotta stick with the program, take it one step at a time, and-"

"Yeah, um, anyway," Destiny said. "It was great meeting you and all, but, ah, I've got to get past step one first."

"Ah, tell me about it," Chum said. "Step one's always the hardest."

"Nah, it's step two," Hammer said.

"Step one."

"Step two!"

"Step one!"

A scuffle erupted in the waters in front of her as the two blurs that Destiny beheld merged into one.

"Order!" Bruce yelled. "The meeting will come to order!"

"Get off me ya wanker!"

"Yeah, um, I'll be going now," Destiny said. "Nice meeting you."

"Bloomin' bogan, you're a bloody dolphin!"

"I guess," she added.

So she turned around to swim away. Slowly, carefully, to reflect on what she'd learnt today and-"

"Ow!"

"Other way," called out a voice.

Update (11/09/16): Changed "Mako" to "Chum" (my bad - Chum is a Mako shark, but that's only his species).