AU, post war fic. Both Remus and Sirius are still alive.


Harry had a problem. A BIG problem! No, it wasn't about a nose-less snake-obsessed freak wanting to kill him and it wasn't about blood prejudices or purity or house rivalry… no, maybe it was about house rivalry.

Harry Potter was gay! Harry Potter was in love with a boy! The boy was Draco Malfoy. Harry Potter was gay and in love with a boy named Draco Malfoy.

He was in love with the boy who had teased, insulted and humiliated him. The boy who had insulted his best friends over and over in their first few years at Hogwarts, the boy who shrieked like a little girl in the forbidden forest, during detention, the boy who challenged him for a duel but never showed, the boy who got beat up by a hippogriff and later by a girl, the boy who broke his nose in the sixth year, the boy who cried in Moaning Myrtle's washroom, the boy who's hand wavered as he stood in front of the headmaster at the astronomy tower, the boy who never, ever had a choice.

Harry was up shit creak.

Sitting at the corner window of his room, with his knees up to his chest, he groaned loudly and dropped his head in his hands in frustration. In the background he heard a soft knock followed by, "Harry? Can I come in?"


Remus Lupin was worried.

Three months post the beginning of Harry's eighth year, he had his winter break. He had come home with a forced smile and frustrated eyes. Remus had tried very hard to understand what was going on but his godson left no hints and Sirius was absolutely useless in emotional matters.

All that was left was trying to get Harry to tell him what was wrong.

In response to his knock and question Remus received a loud groan and muffled words.

Deciding to interpret the sound as a yes, he entered the room only to find Harry talking into a pillow.

"Harry!" Remus exclaimed, "What are you doing?"


Harry looked up shocked and wide eyed at the presence of someone other than himself in the room. "Remus? What are you doing in here?"

"I knocked, and there was no response so... Harry what is wrong!?" Remus said, letting his pretence fall and worry show. "You have been low, sad and depressed ever since you got back and I don't understand why. Why aren't you happy, Cub?"

Harry's expression morphed from shocked to confused to worried to frustrated in a matter of seconds. He frowned deeply and then looked down, almost sulking and asked, "Remus, how did you know Sirius was the one?"

For a moment Remus was stumped, and when that moment passed his mouth formed an 'O', well it also released a sound that resembled, "Ohhhh…"

"Um," Remus started, collecting himself, "Well, originally we were stupid and young and 'Just Friends'," He paused smiling subconsciously as the memories came back to him, "Sirius was always this ass who smelled like a dog and made fun of everything and everyone. He was rude and obnoxious and then he was everywhere. Originally, in our first years at Hogwarts I thought he was following me," Remus paused and laughed. "But, then we became the 'Marauders' and we were a gang, and he was still rude and obnoxious and downright irritating and then everything changed when I got turned."

"One day I was feeling particularly low. My first full moon since I had been turned was approaching and I was afraid. I was sitting out by the black lake and out of nowhere Sirius showed up and held my hand. We didn't talk. We just sat there my hand in his, the water touching our feet and the wind caressing our skin. We just, sat there and held hands. We were there all night and somewhere along the night we fell asleep and in the morning I woke up alone. I honestly thought I had imagined it but when I saw him again during class he sat next to me and secretly under the table, there was his hand, holding mine and he had this smile, this secret smile that informed me that this was going to happen again and it did. And when the full moon arrived just as the night broke he hugged me and told me he was there. He said he would always be right there, by my side and that was when I knew. I knew he was it. He was all I would need to get through."

A misty look glazed Remus's face as he broke out of his memory, "Does that help Pup?"

Harry who had been extremely quite through Remus's narration looked up at him with a wishful look on his face and said, "I kissed Draco Malfoy," post which he promptly buried his face in his pillow again.

Remus stared at his godson. His 18-year-old godson who has seen too much and done too much, "Harry, why is that so terrible?"

Harry got up with a jerk, "He's Draco Malfoy! DRACO MALFOY! The death eater, the boy who tormented everyone the boy who,…"

"Why did you kiss him if he's so terrible?"

Harry was stumped. He opened and closed his mouth and did it again and finally said, "Because he offered me his hand again," he paused and continued, "and he pretended he didn't know who I was at the Malfoy Manor. He thanked me for his wand and when he laughs at something I say, not his scathing fake laugh but his genuine laugh and when his smile reaches his eyes my heart beats faster and all I want to do his hold him and touch him and tell him…"

"Tell him what Harry?"

"That I want him to be mine," Harry responded with a sulk, "I don't know what to do! Tell me what to! What should I do, Remus?"

Remus smiled mischievously at him, a smile he had developed from Sirius over their years together, "Kiss him again."


AN: Hope You liked it! If you did please review and if you didn't please review ! :O :)

-A


PS: AN: So! This is an AU, post war fic. Both Remus and Sirius are still alive.

Reserve For Ballycastle Bats - Beater 1

Written for QFLC's

SS Moonstruck

-A