Not Useless, Just Unobservant

This is...something so random I don't even know if it's really funny. No connection to any of my other works.

Warnings: It's...it's kind of crack. My first attempt of writing anything of the sort. Sorry. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.

Contrary to popular belief, we are not stupid or useless. We're very good at our jobs.

We have a long list of duties, you know. Please be so kind as to compare it to the list of Knightly duties in Camelot.

Knights' Duties

1. Wear Bright Red Cloaks

2. Walk Quickly Without Tripping On Aforementioned Cloaks

3. Train Daily With The King And Always Lose To Him

4. Go On Random Patrols

5. Fight People

6. Die (Supposedly) Glorious Deaths At The Hands Of Camelot's Enemies

Guards' Duties

1. Wear Really Uncomfortable Helmets

2. Stand Perfectly Still All Day

3. Look Directly Ahead All Day

4. Drag People Out Of Crowded Rooms

5. Throw People Into Empty Dungeons

6. March (Professionally) In Formation Around The Town

7. Look For People That You'll Never Find In The Lower Town (And Sometimes The Castle)

8. Run Past Every Hallway That Someone Is Hiding In

9. Follow Every Random Rolling/Flying Object You See As Well As Every Random Noise

10. Never Notice When Obviously Evil People In Billowy Cloaks Go Striding By

11. Die (Supposedly) Ordinary Deaths At The Hands Of Camelot's Enemies

So, clearly, we are far busier than the Knights, noble as they may be. So don't be surprised when we hardly say a word. In fact, I believe that roughly half of our speaking vocabulary consists of "milord", "milady", and "Yes, Sire".

But I digress. The point is, we're not useless, just unobservant.

And as you can see, we do our jobs as guards of Camelot exceptionally well.

Well, um, that's it... :p

To any readers of my in-progress fic The Reasons Why They Don't Know Me, I'm hoping to post another chapter tonight or maybe tomorrow.

Have a great day/night!