Chapter 4

Summary: Kushina Uzumaki survived the fateful night of the Nine-Tails' attack, albeit barely. Fifteen years later she wakes up, is reunited with her now teenaged son, and develops feelings for him that a mother should not have. What happens when the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero accidentally gets her hands on The Mask and what will she have in store for Naruto and Konoha? Who knows, but whatever it is, one thing is for certain: she'll look damn good doing whatever it is!

As usual, credit to my helper/co-author, ncpfan, for helping me out with this story.

Start of Chapter

Mebuki Haruno was sitting on her couch, minding her own business and enjoying the silence. Suddenly, there was this whizzing noise that became louder by the moment. She opened the door of her apartment to see what was causing this ruckus and demanded, "What's that racket-?!"

The source of the noise, a red and green mini tornado, raced over the walkway of the first floor of the apartment complex and abruptly stopped right before her and cut her off by stuffing a bundle of cigars in her mouth which the green-faced woman that emerged from the tornado immediately lit on fire with a firelighter she pulled out of her jacket.

Shina slung her arm around Mebuki's shoulders buddy-style and wildly grinned, "SSSMOKIN'…" before spinning over to the stair railing, sitting on it with her right leg crossed over her left, her right hand resting on her right leg, her left hand held up, eyes shut and a big smile that showed her pearly whites, "…is hazardous to your health!"

The cigars exploded, covering Mebuki's face in soot, along with some of the door frame, and causing her hair to stand out. Shina twirled a microphone in her left hand which she materialized from nowhere as she slid down the railing.

"This has been a public service announcement!" Shina theatrically spoke into the microphone while holding her fedora in her other, out-held hand before throwing the microphone away and putting her hat back on. She manically laughed, "Ha Ha Haaa!" with her arms spread out wide before turning into a mini tornado again and spinning further into Konoha.

*********** Line Break ***********

"Where are they?" Hinata impatiently mumbled to herself as she was waiting near the outskirts of the village for her teammates. Suddenly a white and blue blur landed on the bench next to her and she turned to see what it was.

"What the…?" was Hinata's dumbstruck response as she saw it a girl dressed in a blue and white sailor fuku outfit with a red bow, her hair done in pigtails and sporting a toothy smile. That wasn't what weird her out though – it was the girl's green face and her features: her eyes, mouth and teeth were bigger than a human's are supposed to!

"Are they here yet, Mommy?" Shina excitedly asked in a girlish voice.

"Get lost," Hinata ground out, visibly annoyed.

"You first!" Shina smiled and pressed on a button she pulled from nowhere that read 'eject button'. A 'wrong answer buzzer' sound could be heard and the part of the bench Hinata was ejected from the bench as the part of the bench she was sitting on was shot up by a large spring, accompanied by a matching 'Boioioing!' sound.

Shina – now an adult again and dressed in her pantsuit and fedora – put her fingers in her mouth as she looked at Hinata falling down. With a sly grin and one eye almost closed and the other completely open and focused on Hinata, she searched through her back pocket and pulled out a giant megaphone, "Skydiver's rule number one: always have a parachute!" articulating each word of the rule in a staccato manner.

Just as Hinata was about to hit the ground, she was caught by Shina – now lacking the fedora hat – and found herself held at an angle of one-hundred-eighty degrees and a blonde wig of the same shade as Naruto's hair fell on the redhead's head.

"I could hold you in my arms all day long…" Shina said before dropping Hinata, turning around and pointing towards the village, causing her blonde wig to fall off, "…but the man I love is in that village!"

Hinata got up, Byakugan blazing. She gasped at what she was seeing: this woman's chakra was lime green and she could make out a form in the navel area. It was just like when she faced Naruto in the Chunin Exams, except instead of a snarling fox, this was a grinning cartoon-style face! Ignoring this, she immediately tried to attack this freak with the Gentle Fist. Said freak dodged her strikes effortlessly by warping her body, shifting it out of normal contours with cartoonish twanging sounds. And to add insult to injury, she didn't even bother to face her, instead looking on her wristwatch that suddenly appeared on he wrist and checking her teeth in a compact mirror she pulled out of her jacket.

"I'm sorry, did you still need me?" Shina asked before she rushed off with a ready-to-run pose, making the sound of a vehicle speeding by and leaving a plume of exhaust smoke behind. She immediately rushed back with a massage table and dressed like a massage therapist. She knocked Hinata into the air when she collided against the girl with the table, prompting the Hyuuga heiress to shriek in surprise, and picked up the towel from the table and placed it back over the girl as she fell on the table, stomach down. Hinata's clothes except for her underwear had come off during the fall and lay scattered around the table, although the girl had not noticed yet.

"Nothing like a wake-up with a full-body massage, eh?" Shina asked while she performed a rapid back chopping massage – and by the pained looks of Hinata's face, a very rough one – before grabbing the Hinata's leg, "You're a wrecking machine!" and pulling it far and hard in one swift jerk.

"AHH!" Hinata cried as her leg was almost dislocated and her foot nearly touched her head.

"I'm so gooood!" Shina grinned.

Hinata growled before kicking Shina off her and grabbed Shina by her scrub shirt.

"Point of interest – you dropped your towel," Shina pointed out with an amused grin on her face, pointing at Hinata's indecency, before spinning out of Hinata's hold.

Hinata looked down as she finally noticed she was wearing nothing but her underwear and quickly scrambled to pick her clothes up, but before she got the opportunity to get dressed, there was a tug on her panties and everything went dark.

"WEDGIIEEE!" Shina triumphantly yelled before bouncing away on a pogo stick with peals of crazed whooping laughter, leaving the Hyuuga heiress behind undressed with her underwear pulled over her head.

*********** Line Break ***********

Shina walked through the streets until a whistle and a call of "Hey, Buster!" prompted her to spin around and made a couple of martial art moves, but to her confusion, there was nobody.

"Yeah, that's right, down here!"

Doing as the voice that originated from her stomach instructed, she looked down and placed her hand on her abdomen…before opening it like a square hatch, revealing her stomach which sported a mouth, eyes and a very irritated expression.

"I'm gettin' reeaaal hungry and it's time you did somethin' 'bout it!" her stomach growled.

"Alright, alright! Quit growling! Nobody likes a sour stomach," Shina told her stomach, "And don't call me 'Buster', Buster! Are THESE…" she squeezed her boobs, "…the endowments of a MAN?!" before closing her stomach hatch and heading for the nearest place where she could score some snackage.

The managers of several restaurants all over Konoha were at their wits end, almost in tears of frustration. The cause? A strange green-faced woman making her way through the village and stopping at all the places that sold ramen. The first any of the shops knew about their strange customer was a green and red miniature tornado bashing the doors down and zooming around the seating area before bouncing through the door/trapdoor that lead to the storage areas. By the time the staff had been able to follow the tornado into the storage area, they would be met with the sight of the green faced woman sitting on top of a mountain of empty bowls, stuffing down ramen. It wasn't just the amount that was worrying; it was the rate and method as well. Bowls of ramen vanished within moments with the woman stretching her mouth to the diameter of a foot and simply pouring the contents in bowl by bowl. The mouth then closed giving the woman the look of a pelican before the whole lot was swallowed with an audible cartoonish gulp. When the employees attempted to grab her, she spun herself into the green and red mini-tornado that bounced around the storage area before ricocheting out of the door/trapdoor it came in and out of the front door before heading to another restaurant and repeating the whole process again – only Ichiraku's got off well as they were left with a huge bag of money.

The last place Shina stopped at was the Dango Shop. Just like in the previous store, she went straight for the storeroom and wolfed down all the dango. Besides the employees, one of the customers, Anko Mitarashi, also checked out what the ruckus was about and boy was she impressed. The way this woman stuffed down all so much dango so quickly and pinned the employees who tried to stop her to the wall by spitting out a stream of dango sticks with the speed and sound of a machine gun was simply brilliant!

"Damn, you got some style, girl," Anko complimented Shina, "Love the suit by the way."

Shina's grinned an ear-to-ear smile, "Why thank you!" and quickly spun herself into a women's tuxedo – white tuxedo shirt, black pants, purple jacket with black lapels and a red pocket square and bow tie – and introduced herself in a British James Bond accent, "The name's Mask, The Mask…" and put her arm around Anko's neck buddy-style, once more dressed in her red pantsuit, "…but my friends call me Shina," she finished with am amicable grin before spinning into a mini tornado and sweeping Anko up in the tornado as well. When the tornado vanished, it revealed that Anko was now dressed in the same pantsuit that Shina was wearing with the only difference being that hers was tan with a purple corsage.

Shina folded her arms over each other and took a moment to admire her handiwork, "Girl, you look SSPANKIN' if I do say so myself!"

"I looove it!" Anko excitedly shouted, admiring her new outfit.

She was snapped out her reverie when Shina, now dressed like a surgeon, pulled down the neckline of her jacket and inspected her neck with her right eye turned into a monocular loupe, "Wha…?"

Frowning, Shina rested her hand on this atrocious excuse of a curse seal and suddenly whipped her hand away. There was the noise of a band-aid being pulled off and a surprised yelp from Anko, who rubbed her neck as she rounded on Shina.

"What was that…about…" Anko trailed off as she stared at what Shina was holding in her hand: between her index finger and thumb was her curse seal.

"It looked hideous," Shina shrugged before crumpling the seal between her hands and tossing it over her shoulder. When it the ground it disintegrated with a poof and produced an evil-looking cloud that had a skull-like appearance because of the billows and coloring.

"It's…g…gone…?" Anko stammered brokenly, unable to believe that the curse seal that had plagued her existence for so long was finally gone. She leaped onto Shina, sobbing with joy, blubbering out near-incoherent thanks.

"Careful hun, don't wanna crease the suit," Shina winked after Anko finally let go of her.

It was then that a trio of Hyuuga police officers arrived after having been alerted of a green-faced maniac on the loose, "Ma'am, you're under arrest for causing mayhem across the village!"

Shina smirked, "Well, I'd love to stay around, BUT…!" she quickly spun around, morphing clothes into a green soldier's beret combat uniform and saluted, "…duty calls!" and assumed a cartoonish ready-to-run pose before taking off through the closed door. The Hyuuga officers quickly went on the pursuit.

"Damn, she's awesome," Anko commented to herself as she stared at the 'running man silhouette' hole Shina left behind when she made her exit with stars in her eyes, "I forgot to ask where I can get me some of that green make-up."

*********** Line Break ***********

The Hyuuga police officers were not having a good day. First they got calls about a green-faced maniac causing public disturbances and raiding restaurants all over Konoha and even humiliating their clan heiress, although one certain member of the branch family did found the news of Hinata running around naked with her underwear over her head hilarious. Besides the fact that it's their duty, targeting the clan head's daughter made it personal for Hiashi, who demanded the culprit to be taken in. Little did the officers know that their day was about to get worse…

While the officers were tracking down their quarry, Shina looked up at the Hokage Monument with a her chin between her thumb and index finger in a thoughtful expression, "Something's missing here…" a light bulb popped into existence above her head and an exaggerated expression that screamed "I got it!" came over her face and she spun into a handywoman's outfit: thick grey gloves, orange and brown plaid shirt that strained against her globes with the sleeves rolled up, brown work trousers, dark-brown steel-toe shoes and a welding mask worn up. She was equipped with a welding torch including fuel tank over her left shoulder, a length of accompanying gas hose over her right shoulder and a utility belt which had an assortment of oversized tools attached to it: a screwdriver, a hammer, pliers, a drill and…a chainsaw! In her right hand was a trowel and bucket, "…and I know JUST what to do about it!" she finished with a huge grin.

She spun back into a tornado again and spun across the First Hokage's face in a spiral-like pattern, covering the entire face in a tornado, before moving on to the next Hokage's face until she was done with the entire monument. The Hashirama's face now sported a troll-face expression, Tobirama's looked like that of a constipated man who had just let a big fart, Hiruzen's had his tongue hanging out as if he were drooling over his favorite orange book, Minato's looked like he saw something that grossed him out on top of the fox whiskers that were added in and for Tsunade it was now an XD-smiley face.

A trio of Hyuuga officers who were nearby stared at the defacement of the Hokage Monument with horror and outrage. One of them barked out, "We have to find that menace before this gets even more out of hand!"

Suddenly Shina popped up dressed like a movie director. She was wearing an orange shirt with white collar and cuffs. The shirt was tucked into brown johdpur pants, which in turn were tucked into black boots. Her outfit was completed by a blue ascot and a red flat hat and she was holding a director's clipboard in one hand and a director's megaphone in the other. She shouted through the megaphone, "OKAY PEOPLE, QUIET ON THE SET!" with her mouth opening roughly four times further than normal as she shouted.

The Hyuuga officers' attention along with that of the passersby was drawn by Shina's loud entry. She zipped over right in front of the Hyuuga officers and pointed at the group as she said, "Ahh, you must be the stinky no-good crooks."

"Center, people. Center!" Shina ordered before pushing the three officers to the middle of the street and adjusting their poses to look ridiculous, blurring between each of them so fast as she did so that the onlookers mistook it for the Body Flicker Jutsu. One of the passersby took out his camera to shoot a picture, prompting the officers to look at the camera.

She gasped and quickly stepped before the right two officers and admonished them, "Do you belong in a barn?! We DO NOT look at the camera. Fourth wall and all that," as she walked over to where the guy with the camera stands.

She held her hands up to frame a shot, "Actors! Now, ready? AC-TION!"

At her command, a miniature tsunami came out of nowhere and washed over the officers. The officers – now completely soaked – exchanged incredulous to each other, unable to comprehend what just happened.

"Oh pardon et moi, did I mention this was a high seas adventure?" Shina apologized, although she sounded more amused than sorry. There was a terrible roar and the officers screamed in fright as a giant tentacle that came from nowhere wrapped around them and dragged them away.

"Bravo! Brava!" Shina applauded, framing another shot with her hands before dramatically putting the back of her hand against her forehead and holding her other arm out, "Fear…" she placed her hands on her head in mock fright, "…tear!" and gave her compliments in an exaggerated manner, "I'm believing it, people! Nice squid, too, prop department!"

More Hyuuga officers, led by Hiashi himself, came rushing down the street to apprehend this green-faced menace, who was once again wearing her red pantsuit.

"Stop right there, lady! You are under arrest!" Hiashi ordered, "You will come peacefully or we will use force."

"Hhhmmm, let's see…" Shina mused, looking very thoughtful. A grinding, gnashing sound became audible, the kind of sound a car that was having trouble with its gearbox made. Smoke began to curl out of her ears. After a few moments there was a cymbal crash and a loud cartoonish 'CUCKOOO!' along with several gears and wheels shooting out of her ears followed by large jets of high-pressure steam shooting out with the high-pitched whistling sound of a boiling kettle.

She narrowed her eyes as she recalled how these crooks treated her Naru-Baby. "Force it is!" she announced before performing a couple of somersaults. She jumped extra high on her third somersault and landed dressed in an orange Mortal Kombat-style ninja garb, carrying a ninja sword in each hand.

"This is the ancient fighting style known as…" Shina began and whipped out a multi-barelled blaster gun, "…BLOW 'EM UP REEAAL GOOOD!"

The Hyuugas were stunned as they tried to process what they were seeing until a hail of bullets caught them completely off guard. Within moments they were all gunned down with the exception of Hiashi thanks to his use of the Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven. Miraculously, while most of the downed officers were quite wounded, nobody was lethally wounded.

Hiashi was seeing red, despite his best efforts not to show it. This woman caused chaos all around the village on HIS watch, she publicly humiliated his daughter, and now she caused bodily harm to his clansmen. This was unacceptable! With a war cry he rushed at Shina to attack, but the redhead just threw a black discus in his path. When he stepped on the discus, he promptly fell through the discus, which turned out to be a hole. Shina stepped over to the edge of the hole and an enlarged ear formed on the side of her head – despite her ears not being visible as they were covered by her new green face – as she listened to Hiashi falling down with a cartoonish falling noise with a satisfied smile on her face.

"Those Hyuugas sure leave a bloody mess behind!" Shina complained as she cast a glance at the downed Hyuugas littered all over the street and spun into a French maid uniform. Pulling out a massive broom, she swept the Hyuuga officers to into a large dustbin, also pulled from nowhere, "There, all neat and tidy!"

It was just as French Maid Shina spun back into her pantsuit that her eyes landed on him! He was with his team and they had apparently just left the Hokage's office after getting debriefed from their mission! And now, here he was – her ultimate idea of eye-candy! Oh, those electric blue gemstones he had for eyes, those radiant golden untamable locks of hair that shined like the sun, those gorgeous whisker marks on his cheeks, that rockin' bod!

"WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Shina shouted out in a squeal that would make any fangirl proud. The sound of fire alarm bells sprang from nowhere, and dark pink hearts started floating upwards and popping in midair behind her as her eyeballs turned pink, grew into hearts half the size of her head and stretched two whole feet out of her eye-sockets while her jaw literally stretched all the way to the ground, followed by her tongue, which unrolled to a length of about three feet away from her jawline while the rest of her body immediately began spinning in a cyclonic manner, morphing her clothes once again, "DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS HUNK OF UZUMAKI SEX GOD, TWELVE O'CLOCK!"

Naruto and Team Seven had turned to see what all the commotion was about the moment they heard the fangirlish shriek. Before they got a chance to process what was happening, Shina's eyes slammed back into their sockets, her tongue rocketed back into her mouth as her jaw rammed itself back into normal position and her head joined the rest of her body in the cyclone as she made a beeline for Naruto. An instant later, Naruto found himself pushed against a nearby wall from behind!

"Okay, spread 'em, Perp! I'm placing YOU under ARREST!" Shina ordered in a stern but very sultry voice as she started to frisk him.

"Oh, come on, again?!" Naruto cried out in indignation, "What'd I do this time?!"

"You're creating a public disturbance and hindering daily village business by…BEING TOO GORGEOUS AND HUNKY!" Shina fired back, causing Naruto's face to contort in confusion.

"EH?!" was his 'intelligent' response, along with many other passersby who were watching this spectacle unfold. Naruto noticed that her frisking wasn't the usual rough treatment he would receive from the Hyuuga Police Force, but was much more sensual in its execution.

"That's right, Darling! You are SO sexy, it's a CRIME! And it's one I'll GLADLY bring you to justice for," she answered suggestively. As she continued to frisk him, her hand landed on his manhood. Her nose shot out a geyser of blood, her eyes grew to huge proportions and popped out of her head, along with her teeth while the sound of "AAAOOOOOGAH!" could be heard before her features shoved themselves back into her face, now deep red with an exaggerated blush.

She shook her head comically, her blush and nosebleed immediately disappearing, grabbed him by the shoulder, turned him around to face her, and brought her hand back to his package, adding with a mischievous, sexy grin, "And if you don't have a permit for this, I'll have to add 'Carrying a Concealed Weapon' to the list of charges as well."

Naruto was now able to get a good look at his assailant. Her face was green and looked rubbery, but it was gorgeous at the same time, framed by red, wavy locks that were worn up and buried underneath a black police officer's hat. Her cherry-red lips were parted in an excitedly sexy smile. Every square inch of skin below her chin was a peachy complexion similar to his mother's skin – in fact, this woman reminded him of his mother in some ways, but he knew she wasn't her, as there were a few marked differences.

She was wearing a light-blue, short-sleeve police uniform shirt, complete with patches and badge, but had three buttons undone at the top, straining to contain what had to be the most enormous pair of breasts Naruto had even seen – even Auntie Tsunade's fell short of these pinnacles of female glory! The shirt was tucked into a black leather skirt that ended just an inch below her seat, and seemed to strain against this green-faced redhead's amazing curves! Out of the skirt came gorgeous long legs that were clothed in black silk hose, and disappeared into calf-high black-leather high-heel platform boots.

Naruto couldn't help but blush deeply at this woman's unparalleled allure. It was a few moments later that he noticed the uncomfortable hardness in his pants that was still being cupped by this insanely sexy bombshell. Her smile only widened as she noticed it as well.

"Na-Ru-TO!" they both heard Sakura growl out before she began to make her way towards the pair with a balled up fist and murder in her eyes.

Shina growled in response to this pink-haired man-girl's aggression, grabbing her fist as she sent it in Naruto's direction. An instant later, Sakura found herself being flung into a large gilded cage that wasn't there just a moment ago before the door was closed and locked. She face-faulted when she saw the green-faced woman who was all over her teammate open her mouth wider than any human being had a right to be able to do…and swallow the key whole.

Once she had swallowed the key, she glared at Sakura and spoke, "Has anyone ever told you that you have a…" she instantly pulled a megaphone from her cleavage and without even pausing in her speech, yelled at Sakura's face, "…SERIOUS IMPULSE-CONTROL PROBLEM?!"

Sakura stiffened and vibrated with the intensity of the sound blast sent in her direction, only recovering once the vibrations stopped.

Once she had recovered, Sakura proclaimed indignantly, "What?! ME?! You're the one who's putting her hands all over Naruto in the middle of the street! Who does he think he is, allowing you to do that to him?! You should be arrested for public indecency!"

"I should be?! I'm not the one exposing ninety percent of my skin to everybody!"

"What do you mean? Where am I exposing too much skin?!"

Raising her megaphone to her lips, Shina once again bellowed at her, "YOUR FOOOOOOORE-HEEEEEEAAAAAAD!"

Sakura face-faulted before a cloud appeared over her head and she squatted while looking down, "My forehead…again?"

"That's right, Billboard!" Shina confirmed with a toothy smile.

"Stop making fun of my forehead!" Sakura shouted.

"Who said I was talking about your forehead, Zits-for-Tits?" Shina dryly pointed out while looking at Sakura's chest, causing said pinkette to deflate in depression.

"BUT! You DO bring up a VERY valid point!" Shina added before turning back to Naruto and speeding to his side, "Naru-Baby! What DO you have to say for yourself? Who DO you think you are, being SO SEXY that I just can't keep my hands off you?!" she finished with a feline growl as she returned to fondling her blond detainee until the moment was ruined when she heard someone shout, "There she is! Don't let her get away again!"

"Guess I overstayed my welcome," Shina dryly noted while she literally moved her eyes to the back of her head and saw it was a squad of Hyuuga police officers running towards her, "Come on, Naru-Baby, let's get you away from these pale-eyed crooks!"

"Whoa!" Naruto yelled, getting no chance to respond as Shina spun herself into a tornado and sucked him in as she made her escape and erratically raced through the streets with a clear destination: the Uzumaki Temple.

*********** Line Break ***********

A mini tornado loudly burst through the doors of the Uzumaki Temple and disappeared into one of the temple's chambers, whirling through the room, restyling it as it did so before vanishing. Naruto wondered where he was – everything was dark. The last thing he remembered was this crazy yet incredibly sexy lady turning into a twister and sucking him up. Suddenly, a light was flipped on, dimly illuminating the room. The room looked like some sort of interrogation room, but as strange as that was, his undivided attention went out to the other person in the room: a mysterious woman dressed like a detective. She was wearing a chic belted beige trench-coat over a ruby-red pantsuit, white shirt and black necktie that could not hide her phenomenal figure despite leaving enough to his imagination. In fact, the shirt was so tight that it looked like a second skin and her breasts seemed to be in constant danger of spilling out if the strained appearance of the fabric and top buttons was anything to go by.

He couldn't get a clear view of her face beside the green tip of her chin and the long, luscious, wavy mane of red hair that framed her face as her face was mostly obscured by the tilted-down beige fedora hat she was wearing. This was the same woman who had just 'arrested' him! There was an alluring sense of mystery around this woman that drew him in, but at the same time the weirdness of the situation freaked him out.

"So you thought you could get away with it, huh?" Shina sternly questioned, snapping Naruto out of his stupor.

"Huh? What? I'm not following you," Naruto asked, confusion clearly written all over his face.

"Oh, don't play innocent now, Naru-Baby," Shina slowly raised her head and gave Naruto a smoky look a she sauntered forward to the table he was sitting at, the sway of her hips that made Naruto's eyes involuntarily follow their motions. She leaned forward with two hands on the table and just as she did so, the sound of stretching fabric could be heard before the top buttons burst apart with a loud 'Pop!' followed by her breasts spilling out. Naruto could only blush as he was treated to a full view of her majestic cleavage. Her necktie was wedged right in-between those glorious orbs and he sub-consciously pictured his manhood being in her necktie's place before shaking his head and trying to shake those thoughts off.

"Oops, I did it again," Shina giggled and cupped her breasts, "These babies just can't be contained, but enough of that. What I was talking about…is THIS!" she finished as she placed several pictures on the table.

Naruto's face-faulted in shock and he began to stammer upon seeing the pictures that were supposed to serve as evidence, "Wh-wha…? What is this?!"

These were XXX-rated pictures of him having sex with the green-faced lady before him! But that was impossible; he was a virgin for Kami's sake! And if that wasn't bad enough, these images were so graphic that they would make even the likes of Anko Mitarashi blush! Hell, he didn't even knew human bodies could contort like that or ever thought of using his Shadow Clone Jutsu or Sexy Jutsu like that!

"THIS…" Shina answered accusingly, pointing at the pictures for emphasis, "…is evidence of what you have done!"

"This can't be right!" Naruto denied vehemently.

"So you deny it?" Shina questioned. Her tone was accusing yet sexually charged as well. She held one of the pictures up in his face, "Take a good look at it, Mister. Do you see the look of pure bliss on your victim's face while she screams your name? You thought you could give a girl such a good time and not give her a repeat experience?"

"But I never had sex before! I never did any of this!" Naruto blurted out, cutting Shina off.

Shina had the decency to look somewhat sheepish, "Oh, right. I guess you didn't do this then…" her mouth literally stretched in an ear-to-ear smile, showing all her teeth and she excitedly exclaimed with a gravelly, throaty growl, "…BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO!"

Naruto almost fell from his chair, "EH?!"

"We're in the darkroom, Naru-Baby, and you know what people do in the darkroom," Shina said coyly. The color drained from Naruto's face and she giggled, "Don't be afraid Honey…" and grabbed the lapels of her trench-coat. With a quick jerk she pulled her trench-coat open and let it drop to the ground along with her fedora hat, revealing she was all dressed up as a sexy nurse, complete with a thermometer in her cleavage and leaned forward with a lustful smile on her face, " …because the Love Doctor is here to cure you of your virginity!"

Naruto's reaction was to spin around and make a run for it. This woman was really hot, ridiculously so, but she was now really freaking him out. Shina's smile only grew wider as she saw Naruto run out of the door. "Gotta love it when a man plays hard to get," she commented to nobody in particular before she ran after him, "Somebody STOP ME!"

As he ran as fast as his legs could him through the Uzumaki Temple, Naruto could make out the faint yet steady clicking noise of Shina daintily mincing her way through the hallway as she followed him. When he looked back he saw that she was dressed in a pale blue full ankle-length dress that looked as though there a hula hoop in the bottom of the skirt and she wore a bonnet on her head, from under which cascaded a length of elaborate blonde curls. Her lace-gloved hands carried an open parasol over one shoulder.

"Ah do decl-AY-ah Suh, you qw-AH-t turn mah hey-ud!" Shina said in an atrocious Southern accent and turn her head did, suddenly spinning like a top, accompanied the sound of somebody blowing into a whizz whistle.

"Leave me alone!" Naruto yelled as he picked up the pace. Not a moment later a mini tornado blew past him and settled in front of him. It dissipated revealing Shina, clad in a red toga and crown, a book in her left hand and a torch with a light the size of a beach ball held in her right hand.

"But I'm carrying such a torch for you!" Shina called after him.

"Erk!" Naruto grunted before turning around and running into one of the temple's chambers. Moments later he came running back out of the room with Shina hot on his tail, looking like a female version of the Human Torch.

"You make me so hot, Honey!" Shina shouted as she followed Naruto into another room.

Just like the previous time, Naruto came running out of the room. There was a clunking sound as an old oil lamp hopped after him in a series of bunny-rabbit hops with the clunking noise mainly coming from its loose lid. There were several squeaky noises, the kind that would be made by polishing a metal surface with a cloth. A plume of green smoke puffed out of the lamp's spout, congealing into a figure; the very well endowed form of Shina with waist length red hair and wearing what appeared to be a bra made out of brass coins and a gauzy veil designed to hide the lower half of the face. She did not have any legs; instead, below her waist was a plume of green smoke that led back into the spout of the lamp.

"Command me Master, command your willing love slave!" Shina called out, floating after Naruto with the lamp rapidly clunking after her.

After several more doors and corners, Naruto thought he had finally managed to shake her off, but then there was a loud thud and the ground buckled under his feet, knocking him off balance. Scrambling upright, he turned to see Shina coming around the corner looking like a feline predator. She looked very much like a feline predator indeed; she was visibly more muscular whilst retaining a degree of sexy sleekness of body and she was wearing a skimpy tiger-skin bikini, stockings and heels that made her look like a sexy oni demon – an effect that was heightened by her skin color, which had turned red, and the two horns which were poking through her hair, which had become wild and spiky and had changed color to midnight black, and not to mention the kanabo she was swinging in her right hand.

"C'mon Babe, let's get wild!" Shina wildly grinned, displaying a set of panther-like fangs that somehow made her seem even sexier.

"Wha…" Naruto quickly got back to his feet, turned around and ran for all he was worth. Shina's grin only grew wider and sprang after him.

Moments later Shina was running after Naruto dressed like a black-colored, sexualized version of a western gunslinger: cowboy hat, duster coat, trousers, heeled boots, bolo tie, revolver at her waist and a waistcoat that exposed her bellybutton and cleavage.

"Make my date," Shina said, her accent sounding like Dirty Harry.

This was followed by Naruto being followed by Shina dressed in a white and red toga and a laurel crown, like a Roman empress.

"And I shall treat you like a king," Shina declared in a classical Latin accent with her legs in a circular blur as she sped after him.

"This is insane," Naruto panted after dashing into another room and quickly barricading the door with the available furniture. Seeing a phone, he tried to contact the Hyuuga Police Force, such was his desperation to get out of his predicament, "Hello? I wanna report a maniac on the loose!"

The response he got took him surprise; Shina's head popped out of the phone horn and with her lips puckered and puffed up half the size of her head she kissed him on the lips with an cartoonish smooch sound. The rest of her body quickly followed as she jumped out of the phone horn and she quickly spun around to morph her outfit again.

"Naruto, oh Naruto! Wherefore art thou going Naruto?" Shina, now dressed in a Victorian-style dress and white wig and sporting a phony jet-black mole on next to the corner of her mouth, recited in a Shakespearean manner as she struck an over-the-top hands-on-heart pose.

"Ah!" Naruto rammed through the barricade, too scared to stay around. Shina followed him down the hallway, bursting out of the room dressed like a sexy firefighter.

"Baby, I'm on fire!" Shina shouted as she was surrounded by a plume of flames.

Another door carefully opened and Naruto's head poked out to see if the coast was clear. Confirming that the green-faced lady was out of sight as she chased his shadow clone, he made a quick break for the temple's exit. His moment of relief was short-lived though.

"NyaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAAaaa!" could be heard as Shina, completely bare-chested and dressed in nothing more than some kind of loincloth, swung around the building on a vine, yodelling like a falsetto air raid siren.

Naruto blanched and immediately dashed back into the temple. Naruto's mad dash brought him to the bedroom of the temple. He quickly shut the door and decided his best bet was to hide in the closet.

"I should be safe in here," Naruto sighed. It was then that he bumped into something. He reached up with his hand to feel what he bumped into. It felt soft, spherical…and warm? He tried to grab what he guessed to be some kind of ball, but was surprised to hear a duck toy's squeak and a feminine giggle when he accidentally squeezed whatever he just grabbed. Suddenly a light switched on, causing him to briefly squint. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted with a green-face bearing an earsplitting grin. His face turned as red as a tomato as he saw his hand was holding her breast when he tilted his head down to see what he was holding. "Ahh!" a startled Naruto cried as he jumped back out of the closet, stumbling and falling on his bum.

Shina stood there dressed in a playboy bunny costume with a penis-shaped carrot in her hand. She suggestively stuck the carrot in her mouth before taking a bite out of it, all the while shooting Naruto sexy, lustful looks.

"Eh, what's up Stud?" Shina asked in a Bugs Bunny-like manner, "You wanna go down the wabbit hole with your carrot?"

She received no response from Naruto, whose throat had gone dry. The string of bizarre occurrences caused by meeting this insanely sexy knockout and her sheer sex appeal had reached its inevitable conclusion and short-circuited his brain for it couldn't cope with what he was seeing.

"Bha-bh-bh-But I…" Naruto began sputtering in an attempt to voice any objection his mind could conjure, only to come up with nothing.

"Oh, come now, Stud," Shina continued huskily, putting a hand on his shoulder, spinning him around and into a brown hunter's outfit complete with a hunter's hat, except the shirt had no sleeves and the bottoms were shorts.

"I know this might be sudden…" she began rubbing her hands on his bare arms and around his back, "…but I know you've been on the hunt."

"Eh?" he replied with little more than a whimper at this woman's wonderful ministrations.

"You know. The hunt for love," she breathed just a few inches from his face, "And every hunter knows…" she captured his lips in a sensual kiss and caressed his tongue with her own before he could stop her or even move and pulled back a few seconds later, "…it's Wabbit Season."

Shina allowed her outfit to morph all by itself without any motion or action on her part, and was suddenly dressed in what looked like white sexy lingerie; strapless brassiere, thong and stockings with shoulder length opera gloves. On closer inspection, the lingerie turned out to actually be fur, growing in a way that mimicked lingerie. A tail suddenly became visible, flicking out from behind her hindquarters, claws glinted on the ends of her fingers and toes and cat ears pricked up from underneath her hair.

"I can't help it," she purred, licking her lips around a set of pointed catlike teeth, "You just bring out the animal in me," before she pounced, knocking Naruto onto the bed, shredding his clothes in the process, and landing straddling him, "Mrroowwr!"

From thereon, the air rang to a series of cartoony 'Make-out' noises underlaid by cries and screams of pleasure as the night passed on in a blur of wild passion and over-lustful sex that lasted well into the wee hours of the morning, ending just before dawn.

"Red hot Baby!"

*********** Line Break ***********

The following day, within the Uzumaki Temple, Kushina was lying in a messed-up bed. She groaned as she slowly woke up. She remembered that strange mask leaping out of her hands and pasting itself to her face, then there was a feeling of immense pressure as if her head was caught in a vice, followed by a moment of roaring vertigo as though rapidly being spun around. From thereon everything was a blur. Suddenly, the memory of her transformation screeched into her mind. Her eyes slammed open, staring in horror at the ceiling. She rapidly patted her face and let out a sigh of relief when she found everything was normal. Then one memory after another hit her.

The memory of the mayhem she caused in the village caused her to wince at the sheer absurdity of her actions. She blushed at the memory of how she seduced her son. She nearly fainted from embarrassment when the memory of the hours after that smashed into her brain.

"Calm down, Kushina. It's just a dream, it has to be," she repeated over and over again in the hopes that this would make it true. Sitting up, she blanched when she noticed her son lying next to her, fast asleep. Looking around in panic, she realized she was not in her bedroom as she first thought, but in the bedroom of the renovated Uzumaki Temple from her memories. Her fears were confirmed when she lifted up the bed covers; both she and Naruto were stark naked.

"Oh no, what have I done…" Kushina whispered in horror. She was his mother! While incest was practiced in clans in order to keep their bloodlines pure, it was still rare for parent and child to have sex and it was often heavily frowned upon outside of clans with bloodlines as most people drew the line there. Naruto was never taught about the ways of their clan. If he knew she had hit on him and slept with him, that she was in love with him, he would certainly be disgusted with her. The thought made her heart clench. Even if he wasn't, even if he returned her feelings, she'd only end up making his life so much harder when everybody would come down on him because of their relationship. She had to get out of here before he woke up! Careful not to wake Naruto, she quickly picked up her clothes and threw them on, grabbed the mask and fled the Uzumaki Temple with one thought on her mind: she could not lose her baby boy, no matter what.

End of Chapter

A/N:

First off, it took a while to get this chapter over with, but better late than never. This marks Kushina's first time as The Mask, or Shina as she has taken to calling herself. I hope you guys liked it!

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