Disclaimer: I do not own the Fate franchise it belongs to Kinoko Nasu and Type-Moon.

Different Fates

Chapter 16

Homunculi: artificial Humans born or rather coined by means of alchemy, in a process that can be described as a combination of ancient Thaumaturgy and modern technology. As with many such processes, the coining process is flawed and this is reflected in the final output. This usually takes the form of albinism, stunted physical growth, infertility, and other such defects.

Three homunculi were in the living room of a European-style manor in a wooded property in the outskirts of Fuyuki City. Like all Einzbern homunculi they were albinos, and the two dressed in archaic maid uniforms were despite appearances only a few years old.

In contrast, the homunculus pacing irritably in front of them despite looking less than a decade old was actually twice that. "I don't get it!" Illyasviel von Einzbern finally exploded. "What the hell is going on?"

Sella and Leysritt stood silent. And then Sella took a step forward. "My lady," she said. "Is it possible that Caster has not been killed? Is there any other possible reason that despite the witch having fallen, her energies have not been transferred to you?"

"No," lllya conceded. "But something about the whole mess on top of that mountain just doesn't feel right. Even if we had no eyes close to the battlefield, Caster was going all out. That much was clear from all the lights in the sky. But, then it just ends. And that doesn't make sense! If Caster won, why hasn't she rebuilt her defences? And if she died, why can't I feel her?"

"If that is the case our only choice is to investigate is it not?"

"I am not walking into a trap." Illya huffed. She turned and walking a short distance plopped down on an armchair. "And that's what the mountaintop temple feels like right now. But, I still don't know what happened there, and I need to know!"

"Then perhaps you should send familiars to scout out the location."

Illya sat silent for a while, mulling over the idea. "I could do that." She finally conceded. Sella bowed and stepped back. "But just as worrying are Tohsaka and Makiri, or rather their relationship with onii-chan. Makiri stayed over with onii-chan, and apparently regularly too. Damn it, I'll kill her for that, I'll crush her under my heels like the worm that she is, damn it. I'd have done it sooner too, if only I knew how onii-chan might react."

Illya bit on a thumb repeatedly while muttering death threats against Rin Matou, running from simple ones like having Berserker crush her flat all the way to the inventive, such as tearing her apart, limb from limb, organ by organ, and then mounting her bleached bones on a wall and pickling her organs in jars. All the while keeping her still-living brain in a jar of course, so Illya could gloat to Makiri's 'face' whenever she wanted.

I might even let her watch while I make love with onii-chan.

Sella and Leysritt stayed silent as Illya giggled and squirmed childishly at the thoughts. And then her mood soured as more serious thoughts occurred to her. "Onii-chan and Tohsaka fought." She murmured. "I didn't see the battle after they entered the trees, but Makiri intervened and then quickly retreated."

Illya sat silent, tapping her finger against an armrest. "Considering Tohsaka and onii-chan's injuries," she murmured. "And I didn't sense any compulsion over onii-chan, it was a draw. But that doesn't explain the truce afterwards, or why they went to Kotomine Church."

Illya narrowed her eyes. "Could Tohsaka have used a compulsion that I couldn't sense at least not in person?" she wondered. "No, he had all his command spells, and the way he acted was too fluid and natural for someone under a compulsion. And, Saber would have noticed and taken action wouldn't she?"

Illya bit her thumb again. "Tohsaka, Makiri," she growled. "Troublesome girls, but I'll deal with them later, along with onii-chan."

Illya glanced at her maids. "Enough," she said, already mentally directing familiars mid-flight to Mt Enzo. "Get me something sweet to eat so I can get my mind off this."

Sella and Leysritt bowed and left to bring Illya's demands. Alone, Illya crossed her arms and sat frowning.

"Your older sister…?" Shirou echoed in shock and surprise. "T-that's, no, how?"

Sakura glanced curiously at him. "So she never told you?" she asked but clearly not expecting an answer. "I'm not surprised, it's probably no, it's undoubtedly a sore point for her. But I'll give you an answer. Senpai, have you ever heard of the saying 'an heir and a spare'? I'm sure you have."

"Yes, I have." Shirou said. As he spoke, he kept his eyes on Sakura's face, noting in hindsight and making connections in his mind that he'd never noticed before. It was only then that he realized that if it weren't for the different colours of their irises and hair, Sakura with her hair as it was before she cut it looked so very much like Rin did when her hair was down.

Rin, what happened to you?

Where are you now?

What are you doing?

"Normally the eldest would be the heir, and the second-born would be the spare." Sakura said. "In case the heir dies, or is found unsuitable, then the spare takes their place."

"I know that." Shirou said impatiently. "I also know that otherwise spares are traded away in arranged marriages, or put in roles to support the main family. I also know that magus training starts early, to get the body to become more easily accustomed to the strain of magecraft early on. So what I want to know is how you replaced her as heir."

"Yes, I'm sure you are." Sakura said with a nod. "But did you also know that in magus tradition, second-born aren't usually taught magecraft? They're not kept in the dark, but rather their potential is left untapped. This is supposed to prevent or at least reduce rivalries forming and splitting families apart. Family feuds are bad enough, no need to add magic to the mix. After all when things 'heat up', lives and resources are lost, including all sorts of precious knowledge."

"Get to the point Tohsaka."

Sakura laughed. "Impatient much," she said. "I was jealous."

"What?"

"You heard me, I was jealous." Sakura said with a shrug. "She was always the favourite you know. So many high quality magic circuits, a mind both bright and eager all at once, and the Five Elements. And she was already very pretty back then too. They always smiled at her, always praised her, more than they ever did at me."

Shirou narrowed his eyes. Sakura glanced at him. "I'm Human too." She said. "And I was a child. I wanted to be like her. So I asked to be taught. I was refused. Tradition was explained to me, and then I was sent away."

"What happened after that?"

"I asked my sister." Sakura replied. "She refused, and tattled on me. I was gently scolded, and then sent away again. It only left me more jealous than before."

Sakura paused and laughed quietly. "I decided to take matters into my hands then." She said. "I snuck into the workshop, the bounded fields recognizing my blood and letting me in. Still, if not for Kirei's help,"

At that Sakura paused and nodded at Kirei, who smiled and nodded back at her. "We would not be talking like this here and now." Sakura finished.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shirou asked.

"The written material had heavier protections." Sakura said with another quiet laugh. "I burned my hand trying to get them. Kirei however saw it happen. He asked me what I was doing, and explained myself. And he helped me. He healed my hand and he gave me a book from which I taught myself the basics."

Sakura glanced at Kirei. "Thank you," she said. "For what you did back then and for everything since,"

Kirei shrugged and smiled. "You are welcome." He said.

"Eventually my father caught on." Sakura continued. "He confronted me. And I defended myself."

Sakura smiled. "Tradition only says I shouldn't be taught." She said. "It doesn't say anything against self-study."

Shinji snorted and then actually laughed. "That's a very lawyerly interpretation." He said with a voice heavy with amusement. "Or should I say a very magus interpretation?"

Sakura shrugged. "Father thought so too." She said. "He laughed, and he approved. I had a magus' spirit he said, rebellious yes, but a magus' spirit for all that. He apologized for not letting me explore my talents, and allowed me to study on my own. I…"

Sakura trailed off, falling silent for several moments in recollection and then she sighed. "At last," she said. "I had become just like her. I shared our parents' smiles and praises."

"But…?" Shirou pressed. "Something else happened, didn't it?"

"The Matou and Tohsaka families are old allies." Sakura said with a sigh. "Unfortunately the former was dying out, their recent generations being born with no magic circuits. Apparently something with the land didn't agree with them."

Sakura saw Shinji flinch, but said nothing of it. "So," she continued. "The Matou family head Zouken approached my father, and asked to be allowed to adopt me as their heir. After all, as the eldest Rin was the heir of the Tohsaka family, and only one in every generation – barring special circumstances such as the Ore Scales Sorcery Trait – could inherit the family crest in any case. And by all rights, I should have become Sakura Matou."

"So why then?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Sakura replied with a sad smile. "I was judged more valuable to the Tohsaka than my sister was."

"What?"

"Our potential is the same actually." Sakura elaborated. "We have the same number and quality of magic circuits. I'm not or was not as openly eager for knowledge like my sister was, but when I get and got serious, I was easily her equal."

"Well it can't be because of your affinity Rin's an Average One and has all Five Elements." Shirou said neutrally. "Your origin…?"

"Rin is an Average One yes." Sakura said. "But, there's no guarantee her children will be Average Ones too."

Shirou perked up at that, and then his mind made the connection, and his eyes went wide. Origins like elemental affinities couldn't be guaranteed to be passed down in full, and together with Sakura's earlier comment about her being more valuable despite all things being equal, well that left only one possibility.

"You have a Sorcery Trait."

"Imaginary Numbers," Sakura said with a small smile. "I have that. And my children will have it, and their children, and so on and so forth. Did you know? The Tohsaka has produced elemental users of every kind in the past, even if never an Average One until my sister was born. But the important part there is that if I had become a Matou, then the opportunity to explore what Imaginary Numbers can offer to our family will be lost, or rather handed over to them. Plus one for them and zero gain for the Tohsaka."

"But if you stayed with Tohsaka," Shinji said. "They would gain Imaginary Numbers, which is incredibly rare. It is a Sorcery Trait after all. And while Matou would gain the Five Elements, it's a plus one for both sides, since Tohsaka already has all Five Elements in the past. Things stay equal."

"Precisely," Sakura said with a nod. She then glanced at the silent and thoughtful Shirou. "Any thoughts, senpai…?"

"So that's why she hates you." He eventually said, glancing sadly at Sakura. "She thinks you stole what was hers."

"Yes, she does." Sakura agreed. "And in a way one can sympathize. Ever since she was old enough to understand the world around her, she was already being groomed to be the family heir. But with one decision, it was all gone."

"But," Shirou said. "How old were you then?"

"I was five."

"That would make her six." Shirou said, clenching his hands into fists. "What can a five year-old girl do? How could she possibly affect the decisions of the family head?"

Sakura laughed bitterly. "I can answer that." She said, and Shirou glanced surprised at her. Sakura looked at him. "If I hadn't studied on my own, my father would probably have continued to underestimate my value, and she wouldn't have lost everything."

"That's true in a way I guess," Shirou conceded. "But it's only natural for younger siblings to look up to and follow the example of an elder sibling. You can't be blamed for chasing after her. Even if it led to your father choosing you over her, then…!"

Shirou broke off abruptly, and looked away uncomfortably. Sakura could guess though, what he was going to say. "You were going to say it was my father's fault, weren't you?" she asked.

"The decision was his."

"Yes it was."

"Could you do the same thing to your children?" Shirou asked, turning to look at a stunned Sakura. "In the name of tradition, could you destroy everything your children believed in, tear them away from their family, and make them live with complete strangers, who would undoubtedly put them through alchemical modification so they can inherit their crest? Could you? Can you?"

Sakura looked away, her expression torn, and her teeth grit together. Her hands tightened on her sword's pommel. "The magus in me says yes." She finally said, and as Shirou sneered continued. "But the swordswoman, the woman, the person…"

She trailed off, and Shirou snorted. "So you understand." He said.

"Blood is thicker than water." Sakura said, closing her eyes. "Father…"

"If only it were alchemical modification," Shiinji murmured to himself, and Sakura's eyes flashed open.

"What did you say?" she asked dangerously.

Shinji blinked, glanced at her, and then looked away. Shirou made to speak, but Sakura gestured for him to stay quiet, her eyes fixed on Shinji. Shinji stayed silent for several moments, and then he sighed. And when he looked back at Sakura, he had an air of quiet dignity around him, of stoic resignation and acceptance.

It was the air of a man facing his death.

"What do you know of the Matou magecraft?" he asked.

"Not much," Sakura replied after a moment. "It's based on the water element, and heavily focuses on familiars. I also know about a system called engraving, wherein mysteries instead of being taught normally are, well, engraved directly on the magus' body. It's supposed to be painful, like torture essentially, but it's also supposed to be very effective."

"Are you serious?" Shirou snapped at her. "Essentially torture, but you can talk so…!"

"And what do you think getting a magic crest involves?" Sakura interrupted. "Engraving is probably just the same, just more extensive. It's not like it's the whole of the Matou magecraft."

"And whatever gave you that idea?" Shinji asked, and Sakura turned back to him. "Whatever gave you the idea it's not the whole of the Matou magecraft? Or that engraving is anything like a proper crest's implantation?"

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "What are you saying?" she asked.

"Engraving," Shinji said. "It basically involves getting thrown into a pit filled with parasitic worm familiars, which proceed to enter the body, turn it into their host, and in so doing 'engrave' the family mysteries into the body. You could say as the body is torn apart, it 'learns' how to perform the family mysteries. All you need to do is learn the arias, and everything else comes with, well, training."

Shinji looked away, as Sakura and Shirou looked utterly horrified. "As for how they enter," he said. "Well, either they tear their way in, or they use pre-existing orifices. Do I really need to go into the details?"

"Y-y-y-you, animals…!" Shirou snarled, making to lunge forward only to be held in place by an iron grip on his arm. He turned to see a pale-faced Sakura staring at Shinji.

"How long has this been going on?" she demanded quietly.

"How long do you think?" Shinji replied.

"Don't fuck with me!" Sakura spat.

"Obviously," Shinji said. "Since the day she arrived."

Sakura's expression melted with further horror. "Gods in Heaven," she thought. "What have they done to you sister? Y-you, you were six years-old, 'pre-existing orifices'…? Gods in Heaven no, no, no, no, NO…!"

"She was six years-old, gods." Shirou whispered all the while held in place only by Sakura's hand on his arm. "Do you even realize what you're saying? She was six! And she was basically raped…! By worms no less…!"

"It's worse than that." Sakura whispered. "Familiars, the worms are familiars, extensions of a magus, gods above and below, Zouken might as well have it done it himself. Gods above and below, Rin, nee-san…"

Taking several deep breaths, Sakura swallowed dryly. "Is that all there is?" she whispered. "Tell me everything, as quickly as possible."

Shinji swallowed dryly. "As I mentioned the worms are parasites." He said. "They feed on the body and the shock and pain must be carefully balanced with the host's endurance or they will die. So…"

"In other words," Sakura spat, horror beginning to turn to rage as she had never felt before. "Training is essentially a matter of getting fed into a seething pile of flesh-eating parasites. Worse, they don't leave once training is finished for the day, some of them stay inside you don't they?"

Shinji nodded jerkily, and Sakura grit her teeth. "Night after night," she snarled. "Getting fed to worms that tear their way into her, filling her mouth, her nose, her ears, places that only the person she loves should be able to reach, you damn bastards…what about her crest? After everything you've told us, don't even think of holding anything back bastard! The alchemy, what did you bastards do to my sister?"

"There was no alchemy." Shinji said softly. "The worms did all that."

Sakura was shaking now, and her jaw worked with mounting rage. "Is that all?" she whispered.

"No,"

"THEN SPIT IT OUT!"

"Tohsaka…" Shirou said. He was angry too, but he wasn't the one holding a sword. Oh if he wasn't being held back he'd undoubtedly be beating Shinji to an inch of his life, but he probably wouldn't kill him, probably.

"Her crest," Shinji said with another dry swallow. "They're made from a unique breed of worm. Once bonded to their host, they are almost impossible to remove, and can perform anything a normal crest can do."

"Gods damn it," Sakura spat. "Keep going damn you. What else was taken from her? You've already taken her pride, her dignity, everything that made her a person, stepped all over it, so stop wasting time and tell me everything already!"

"If she were a man, then they'd have killed her in a year." Shinji said. "The crest worms need plenty of energy. Men provide it with their flesh. To survive, men must transfer their souls into a container, one of the worms usually, and when they die, the worms consume another's body, turning it into their host and remaking it into their image."

"Gods damn it," Sakura snarled. "You called your grandfather a walking corpse earlier. He's a Dead Apostle isn't he, or something close to it? A fucking vampire on top of being a rapist son of a bitch…!"

"Women have it worse." Shinji said, swallowing dryly and beginning to sweat heavily. He also began to shake, an expression of shame, horror, and loathing dawning over his face. Shirou noticed, and his rage began to give way to suspicion and horror that something had been done to his friend as well.

Sakura though, was too blinded by her rage to see it. "What?" she hissed.

"They don't feed on flesh, they feed on prana." Shinji replied, refusing to meet her eyes. With every word his shaking grew worse, spreading to his voice and turning his eyes wild. "They're ravenous, and quickly deplete the host's reserves. But instead of eating their flesh once it's depleted, instead they, they, they, they drive them into, into, into heat…"

Complete, dead, utter silence fell, and then afterimages flickering and divots flying in her wake, Sakura was behind Shinji, holding Muramasa's gleaming edge to his neck. Resonating with its master's rage, Shirou could literally feel the sword's bloodlust pouring from it. "You fucked my sister didn't you?" she whispered. "You're the other side of the equation in tantric rituals to replenish her prana. Gods damn you, you bastards, you complete and utter bastards!"

"Tohsaka, Sakura, calm down." Shirou said half-rising to his feet. There was something more to this, and it was clear her head was too clouded with rage to see it. As for him, well, maybe there was something to be said about walking through a sea of fire and corpses as a child.

Once horror reaches a certain point, it becomes meaningless.

"I didn't have a choice."

"There is always a choice."

"No. Not here, not ever, there was never, we never had a choice. We're just tools, puppets for the old worm."

"You lie."

"No, I don't lie. I'm not lying. Please, I wouldn't lie about this. I swear."

Again, silence and then Sakura said two words.

"Show me."

Silence, and then Shinji whimpered. "Please," he begged. "Anything but that, I don't want to I don't want to see it, to remember, please anything but that."

"You will die."

"THEN KILL ME!" Shinji screamed, tears forcing their way out from closed eyelids. "JUST KILL ME, I DON'T WANT TO, I DON'T…"

And then slowly Sakura lowered her sword, staring at the sobbing Shinji. Kirei was silent, looking on with veiled disappointment, while Shirou was looking on with pity and sadness. And then slowly, Sakura touched the tip of her finger to the back of Shinji's head. She needs to know.

The door is ajar.

Sounds come through the crack: pants, gasps, moans, and the rythmic sound of flesh against flesh.

A boy kneels down and quietly looks through the crack.

An older man with greying violet hair, panting as he rhythmically pumps his hips between a spread pair of legs lying before him.

The thrusts grow frantic.

A girl screams in delight, and then man grunts several times, thrusting his hips hard.

White seeps barely visibly as the man falls back.

Sakura lowers her finger, fighting the urge to be sick, to raise Muramasa, and end it all. Instead, she raises her finger, and again places it against Shinji's head.

A name comes to mind: Byakuya Matou – Shinji's father and Rin stepfather.

Sakura grits her teeth. More images, memories flicker through her head.

The boy, now a teenager, lies on his back, panting and moaning.

His night clothes are torn on him.

A naked girl with purple hair bucks and thrusts her hips against him, rhythmically moving on top of him.

She holds his arms down above his head, and as their thrusts grow frantic, she pulls them, and places his hands on her breasts.

Instinctively the boy kneads them, and he thrusts up against her with a cry, the girl arching back a matching cry of delight.

Satisfaction

Delight

Longing

Shame

Loathing

"Are you satisfied?" Shinji asked, completely broken, Sakura staggering back several steps. "ARE YOU?"

"Your father raped her." She whispered. "And then she raped you after he died."

"Please," Shinji begged. "Just kill me. Please."

Gods above and below, why…?

Shinji jerkily rose to his feet, and shaking off Shirou turned to Sakura with a pleading, broken expression on his face. "Just finish it already." He begged.

Did my father know? Mother…? They would have sent us to this, to that? Why?

"Do it."

Does Kirei know? Did he leave me in the dark? Why?

"DO IT."

I, I, I'm relieved, I'm actually relieved that I'm still who I am. Relieved, grateful even…

"DO IT!"

I, I, I…

With a scream Shinji threw himself at Sakura, grabbing at her sword-arm and moving too fast with speed born of despair and madness. And before Shirou or Sakura or anyone present can stop him, Shinji Matou pulls Sakura's sword up into his chest and through his heart.

A/N

Changing rating to M: bloody hell, this chapter was disgusting to write. How Urobochi enjoys making hellish stories – as I recall Nasu was unnerved and outraged at how he originally intended to end Kariya and Sakura's time together – has made me lose so much respect for the man. I feel dirty (spits).

Fortunately, while this part of the story isn't quite over yet I don't have anything more as disgusting as the above to write.

Death0887 this is partly your fault. '…if Rin used to do what I think she used to him…' thanks for making me think, and since Rin and Shirou only met when they were fourteen or fifteen, Rin had to have other means of supplying herself with prana before then.

Symphony of Spirals and Guest, right I forgot about Illya. It is heresy and it will be corrected as soon and as much as the story allows.