And here's the next chapter! It's the longest one yet, so I hope you guys enjoy :)
Please drop a comment, reading all the things you guys have to say about my story is really motivating.
Another huge thank you to my beta reader on AO3, Vtizzle27 !

Chapter 5- Decisions

Several Years Earlier…

It had been one of those days. Kamui was alone in the Northern Fortress once more. There had been some sort of disturbance in the main hall, though due to Kamui's isolation, she wasn't exactly sure what had happened.

The young girl sighed as she gazed out the small lone window, the only one to be found in her dark chamber. Wistfully, she began to stare at the dark night sky, her mind racing.

She missed Xander. It had been quite a few days since he had last came to see her, and while she knew that he was probably very busy, it didn't stop her from wanting to see him desperately. She wasn't exactly sure herself, but she was starting to feel… things for her brother.

She knew she loved him, but recently, whenever he would come by to visit her, comfort her, make her smile, she would feel her heart ache in a way she had never previously experienced. She would often think about how it would feel to tell him she loved him as lovers do, and for him to easily accept and reciprocate those feelings. She would fantasize about embracing him, holding him, maybe even kissing him.

It confused her, especially since she was still young, and whenever she tried to think about it, it did nothing but make her head hurt. And when he was gone for long stretches of time, (such as now) she would sometimes have to force herself to think of something other than him.

But it was wrong. Xander was her brother, related by blood. Though Kamui knew little of matters regarding love and marriage, she at least knew that a romantic relationship between siblings was unquestionably wrong.

Yet…

The door loudly burst open, instantly snapping Kamui out of her thoughts. She turned, only to see Xander. Yet something looked off about him. His expression was painfully strained, his breathing heavy, and he seemed… angry. She had seen him angry like this in the past, but never to this extent.

"Xander…" She breathed, looking him directly in the eye.

The room was quiet (save for Xander's loud breathing) as they gazed into each other's eyes wordlessly.

The next few moments were a confusing blur, as one moment they were staring at each other across the room, yet now he had lunged forward and had now pinned himself directly on top of her.

Her stomach lurched violently, suddenly realizing how dangerously close his face was to hers. But his expression… he looked pained. Seeing his face so up close, she could even make out the faintest traces of traces of tears welling up in the bottom of his eyes.

Yet he had still not spoken a single word.

She found herself unable to say anything but repeat his name once more.

"Xander…" She murmured once more, this time bringing a shaky hand up to cup his cheek. At the sudden contact, she heard his voice break and his breathing grew ragged. His gaze still not leaving hers, he brought his own hand up and tenderly placed it over hers.

"Kamui…" He finally uttered, a strange rawness to his voice she had never heard before.

There was a brief silence before he grabbed her, pulling her forwards so that she was now sitting in his lap. His arms then wrapped around her desperately, holding her to his chest so tightly that she felt she'd be crushed. He rested his head in between her shoulder and neck, exhaling a few long breaths before seeming to finally compose himself.

Kamui, finally able to speak, gently placed her hands on him, before asking,
"Xander… what's wrong?"

"It's Father…" He murmured, still speaking into her neck, his grip on her not loosening.

"Father? What about him?" She responded, confused.

Honestly, she rarely saw her father. He had never come visit her in her fortress, and the few times she had seen him were when the whole family was summoned to the Main Hall for very rare occasions. But from the few times she had saw him, she could easily say that he wasn't a very friendly man.

"He…" Xander continued, finally sitting up so that they were facing each other.

"I haven't told you much because I don't want to worry you, but…"

He paused to pull her closer to him once more, so that she was now snuggled against his chest.
"The reason I've been gone for long stretches of time recently is because Father's had me go on these missions. At first I didn't care much, since all we would really be doing was just inspecting various areas, but recently… he's had us kill people. Not just Hoshidans, but innocent Nohrian civilians."

"Nohrian civilians? But why?" Kamui exclaimed, horrified.
Xander shook his head grimly.

"He claimed they were 'conspiring against the royal family.'"

"And were they?"

"No. Not at all. Leo looked into it, and it was obvious that they were completely innocent."

She was silent, taking the information in. Well this all explained it then. The reason Xander's seemed so distant recently.

It hurt her to see him like this. She didn't want him to suffer any more, but there was only so much she could do as a captive of the castle.

It was then she was struck with the realization that she was in love with him. Those strange feelings she had been experiencing the past few years were undeniably love. Not the familial love she had fooled herself into thinking it was, but a much deeper, romantic, emotional love.

She loved him. She loved him so much.

"I didn't want to do it, no one did, but I can't go against Father. And on top of that, Father's been acting really… strange recently. I don't know how to describe it, but-"

Xander was abruptly cut off by Kamui suddenly leaning up to press a finger to his lips, before shyly and chastely kissing his cheek.

"Shhh…" She then whispered, reaching up to wrap her arms around his shoulders, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Don't say anymore." She murmured, ignoring her rising pulse and the heat racing to her cheeks.

He was silent for a moment, before reaching to gently stroke Kamui's hair.

"I'm sorry for coming in here so suddenly, especially when it's so late."

She was about to speak when he cut her off forcefully.

"I just… I needed to see you."

At those words, she felt her heart skip a beat. Her entire face turned a deep red.

She pulled away from his shoulder, leaning back to face him. She suddenly found it very difficult to maintain eye contact, especially considering the way he was intensely looking at her.

"Xander, I-" She begun, unsure of what she was even going to say.

"Never mind. It's ok." He got to his feet, helping her up as well. "I… I feel a lot better now."
"A-are you sure?" She asked, cautiously.

"Yes. Thank you, Kamui." He was silent once more before unexpectedly pulling her into another deep embrace.
She was silent, reveling in the comforting feel of his arms around her.

He bent down to plant a brief kiss on the top of her head before quickly pulling away and exiting her chambers without another word, leaving Kamui there alone.

And as he left, only one thought continuously circulated in her thoughts;

She loved him.

Kamui awoke with a start. Why did she dream of that, out of all things? She brought a hand to her forehead, tiredly rubbing it.

She remembered that night well. The night she realized she was hopelessly in love with Xander. She smiled ruefully to herself as she remembered those happier days. The days when it was just him and her. When the only thing she could afford to think of was him.

Despite the pain of being isolated, Kamui found herself missing those days.
Maybe it was a sign.

Because just yesterday, she had finally internally made up her mind to marry Laslow. She knew a relationship with Xander in her circumstances would bring about nothing but eventual heartbreak. Besides, Laslow wasn't so bad. She had even attempted to flirt with him yesterday, much to his surprise.

And today she had planned on facing Laslow, telling him she accepted his proposal and that she was willing to become his eventual bride.

It had all seemed so simple last night while she was planning it out in her head. It would be easy! All she would have to do was just go up to Laslow, and…

And…

Ugh. She really couldn't do it, could she?
Alright. She would just wait until he proposed to her again (which was bound to happen) and she would accept then.

Yes. That would work.

But would it?

Groaning, she dragged herself out of bed, and begun to get dressed.

She didn't want to see Xander today. She didn't want to be reminded of her dream, and especially not what had just happened a few days ago.

She sighed, resigned.

Today was not going to be a good day.

Xander sat at his desk, rubbing his eyes absentmindedly. He had gotten virtually no sleep the past few days, and was unbearably exhausted.

Yet not sleeping was the only way for him to get his mind off Kamui. By burying himself in his work and his training, it left him very little room to fantasize about Kamui, which he supposed was a good thing. Especially considering what was going on between her and Laslow. And what had happened the last time he spoke to her.

He cursed under his breath, feeling embarrassment flood to his cheeks. That was probably the most mortifying moment of his life. He still couldn't believe himself.

What was he thinking, nearly confessing to her like that, when she was probably going to marry another man? Never mind the fact that they were alone together in his dimly lit room, and that she looked as desirable as ever, that was no excuse for him to slip up like that.

There was a knock on the door. Xander quickly composed himself.

"Enter."

Xander raised his eyebrows. It was Leo. He looked oddly serious.

"Leo? What brings yo-"

"She's marrying Laslow." Leo sharply cut him off.

Xander's mouth opened and closed soundlessly as he tried to process what Leo had just told him. How did Leo know? What would make Leo come to his room telling him this as soon as possible? Was it possible that Leo knew about his feelings? And if Leo knew, did everyone know?

He felt his stomach drop. Not just because of the possibility that Leo knew about his feelings, but at realizing the weight of what Leo had just told him.

That was it then.

She was really going to marry him. He tried not to let his panic show, as he realized Leo was still intensely staring at him. Xander tried to feign innocence.

"W-who is?"

Leo cocked an eyebrow.

"You know who."

Xander swallowed.

"Well, that's good for her then! I'll have to give them both my congratulations sometimes." He said, his eyes downcast.

Leo sighed, annoyed.
"Don't play dumb with me, Xander."

Xander sighed, giving up. It was pointless to try this against Leo. He instead beckoned Leo closer, motioning for him to close the door.

"Who-who else knows?" He hissed.

Leo smirked.

"Don't worry. Though your feelings for her are painfully obvious to me, I doubt anyone else has noticed."

Xander nodded in relief, allowing himself to lean back in his chair a little bit.

"I was there when it happened." Leo went on. "Laslow proposed to her once more today, though I think he may have even been partially joking this time, but to everyone's surprise she accepted. She didn't seem very happy about it though. Laslow was ecstatic however, as you can imagine."

Leo shrugged.

"I just thought I'd tell you first to save you the pain of hearing one of them break the news to you."

Xander felt his head spin and he placed a hand to his forehead to steady himself.

"Are you sure you're ok with this, Xander? You're really willing to let her go like this?"

"...I have no other choice, Leo. If I confess to her now, it's too late. And there's really nothing else I can do."

Leo sighed audibly.

"It's not as if they're married yet, Xander. He's your retainer. You could easily cancel the marriage if you wanted to."
"But-"

"Besides, there's one other thing I should probably tell you."

"What?"
Leo was silent.

"...What is it?" Xander groaned.

"Kamui told me not to tell you."

Xander sighed in frustration. "Then why did you bother telling me?"

"Because I think you should know." He said bluntly.

Xander stared at him, waiting.

"Xander, she…" Leo uncomfortably cleared his throat before continuing. "All I'll say is that… she feels something similar to you as what you feel towards her."

Xander stared at him dumbfounded, not believing what he was hearing.

"What… what do you mean?"

Leo glared at him.

"Exactly what you think I mean. And I'm not going to say anymore. She's already going to murder me when she finds out I told you this much."

Xander still found himself unable to formulate a proper response.

She… she reciprocated his feelings? But if that was true, why the hell would she marry Laslow? And why had she never said anything all these years?

Leo, seeing the dumbstruck expression on Xander's face, huffed in annoyance.

"Look, if you really want to know, go ask her yourself. I just...I had to do something to help you two after watching this go on for so many years."

"I...Thank you, Leo." Xander finally said.

Leo gave his brother a brief smile before quietly exiting the office.

Xander sat frozen at his desk for god knew how long. His thoughts were in absolute chaos. What was he supposed to do now? Now that he knew that she reciprocated his feelings, even if only slightly, he couldn't just allow her to marry Laslow without saying anything.

A question Leo had asked him kept replaying in his head:

"Are you really willing to let her go like this?"

And no matter how he looked at it, the answer was a resounding no.

He had to talk to her.

He needed to get to the bottom of this.

Heart racing, he leapt out of his desk, ignoring the unfinished paperwork lying haphazardly on his desk, and made his way straight for Kamui's room.

Heheehe sorry for that giant cliffhanger, I just didn't want to make the chapter any longer than it already was. Next chapter will probably be the one you all have been waiting for. :D
I do have to say though; this story may go on hiatus soon, due to my school starting in less than a week. I've been trying to write as much as I can before school starts because writing this story is just so fun, but once school starts (especially since I'll be a senior in HS) I doubt I'll find the time for anything but homework.
I'll try and upload the next chapter before school starts because I don't want to leave all of you guys hanging like this, but I can't really guarantee anything.
That said, I hope you still continue to read and enjoy this story :)
And please leave a comment telling me what you think!
Thanks, and see you in the next chapter~