Hello everybody, and welcome to the next installment of my exciting 7-Party WOY Epic. But before we get started, there's a few things I'd like to set straight. 1. This story takes place three months after the events of The Revenge. 2. Yes, I saw the finale. No, I'm not upset. Why? Because I've seen this happen to good shows before and it doesn't hurt as much this time around since I have a creative outlet. 3. Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney. Enjoy.

The Pillow Talk: Chapter 1.

One of the greatest truths of our universe is that people are very rarely who they seem to be.

Many brave knights turn out to be cowardly fools.

Many kind souls turn out to be cruel monsters.

And more often than not, a smile is just a mask to hide one's true pain.

To put it simply, dear reader, we live in a universe of frauds and charlatans.

However, before you go branding me a cynic, let me just say that I in no way mean this as an insult. True, nine times out of ten, a person's public façade might not be all that there is to them, but this isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it just means that people are more complex than they like to let on, and in my opinion, that just makes getting to know someone all the more enjoyable.

Looking past the face that men present to society.

Peeling back the layers of their personality.

Discovering what lies at the core of their very being.

This is what it means to get close to someone.

This, my dear reader, is the height of intimacy.

But of course, not everyone would agree with such a notion.

"WHAT!" Dominator shouted at the top of her voice; rattling the support structures of her mighty Lava-Ship. "Are you frigging kidding me!"

"No Ma'am, I'm not." Replied Wander; his tone stern yet genteel. "I'm sorry, Deedee. But I'm just not in the mood tonight."

"That's what you said last week! And the week before that! And pretty much every week since we started dating! How fricken long does it take you to get in the mood!"

"It's not a matter of time. It's just… well…" the furry nomad replied; visibly struggling to find just the right words. "The moment's not right."

"What do you mean the moment's not right? Look at this room! Look at what I'm wearing! How can the moment not be right!"

"I don't know. It just… isn't."

"UGH!" the villainess groaned in primal frustration as she fell backwards onto her queen sized bed.

It had been over three months since she and Wander had begun their little contest of wills, and for the first time Dominator wasn't so sure she could win. She knew that the key to blackening her beloved's heart was getting him to sleep with her, but so far this was proving much more difficult than she'd originally thought.

In the beginning, she'd been satisfied with just kissing, cuddling, and the playful exchange of adorable pet names, but once the novelty of those acts had worn off, Dominator decided it was time to take their relationship to the next level. First, she tried the subtle approach; dropping little hints and innuendos here and there, just to let her little Honey Bun know that she was good to go whenever he was. But when that didn't work, she tried being a little more direct.

Over the next several weeks, Dominator pulled every dirty trick she knew to try and lure Wander into her bed. The 'Accidentally' Flashing Him Her Bra Strap Trick. The 'Accidentally' Dropping Something and Needing to Bend Over Trick. Even the Heavy Breathing Over the Phone Trick. And nothing she did got so much as a nosebleed out of him. Finally, after what felt like her billionth failure in a row, the villainess decided that enough was enough. It was time to pull out the big guns.

Earlier that day, Dominator had invited Wander to her ship via one of her robotic probes, under the pretense that she had a 'very special surprise' for him. Which was true, because as far as she knew, the last thing the orange nomad had expected to see was her, dressed only in her most alluring pair of black silk lingerie, laying seductively on her bed, surrounded by rose petals, in a dimly lit room, full of scented candles, with smooth jazz music playing in the background.

Oh~ How she'd relished the look of pure shock on his face when he first walked through her door. But alas, the real shock was to be hers. For mere moments later, after she had shot Wander with her most alluring Come Hither Eyes, he, with a straight face, told her that he wasn't in the mood.

And that, dear friends, is what they in the seduction business call a Spirit Breaker.

'This can't be happening. This… this has to be some kind of bad dream or something.' Dominator thought frantically as she laid there on her bed; her left eye twitching uncontrollably. 'I mean, come on! I'm young. I'm gorgeous. I'm half naked for Grop's sake! And he won't even touch me! It just doesn't make any sense!'

Ever since she first donned her signature lava-armor, Dominator had always gotten whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it, no matter what it took. But now, the only thing she wanted she couldn't have. And that only made her want it even more, which made this situation all the more unbearable.

'Nobody's ever resisted me this long! Nobody! It's unnatural!' she thought, as her head and certain… other… parts of her anatomy began to ache from her intense yearning. 'There has to be something I'm missing! A clue! A secret kink! SOMETHING!'

"Um… Deedee." Said Wander, having mysteriously appeared on the bed beside her. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Am I going to be okay?" Dominator replied with a sort of bitter sarcasm. "Let's see… I just spent all day preparing the most romantic scene I could think of. Only to have my boyfriend tell me that he's not in the mood. And now, because of said boyfriend, my libido is pounding a hole in my head the size of this ship. Can you deduce from my tone whether or not I'm going to be okay?"

"So… the answer is… no?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" the villainess roared with all of her pent up frustration, as she sprang into a seated position and shot her beloved with a paralyzing death glare. "That does it! I demand that you tell me why you won't sleep with me! Right now! No more games! No more jokes! No more lame-ass excuses!"

"Okay." Wander replied casually, seemingly unfazed by her outburst. "I mean; it's not like it's a big deal or anything. It's just that… well… we don't… really know each other."

"I beg your friggin' pardon!"

"Now don't be getting all upset. I'm just saying that before we take such an important step, we should… you know… learn a little more about each other."

"That's stupid! We know plenty about each other."

"Oh yeah, then what's my favorite drink?"

"Uh… orange juice?"

"Not. Even. Close."

"Oh come on!" Dominator said whiningly. "Can't we just fool around now and worry about all that stupid boring stuff later?"

"Stupid boring stuff?" Wander parroted, sounding not the least bit amused. "You think getting to know someone on a deeper level is 'stupid boring stuff'?"

"Uh… yeah."

"Oh… I see." The orange nomad replied, now sounding quite disillusioned. "Well, it seems that I'm just wasting my time."

"Say what now?"

"It's obvious you're not ready for a real relationship."

"Yes I am!"

"No, no, you just want a physical relationship. Which is fine. But I… I need something more. So, I'll just get out of your hair."

"What! No! Y-You can't just leave! I love you! I need you!"

"Oh, how I wish I could believe that."

"You can! Please! I'll do whatever you want!"

"You're just saying that."

"No, I mean it! We'll talk! We'll sing! We'll dance! We'll do anything you want! Just please, please, please don't break up with me!"

"Okay." Replied Wander, suddenly sounding like his usual happy self. "But before we do anything, you need to put some clothes on."

XXX

(Fifteen Minutes Later)

"I can't believe you did that to me." Dominator said with a huff as she sat back down on her bed; now adorned in her favorite fluffy white bathrobe. "I never thought you could be so cruel."

"Now, now, I'm awful sorry I had to trick you like that." Wander replied; sounding genuinely apologetic. "But believe me, I only did it for your own good."

"You made me beg!" the villainess shot back, her eyes now like two little pink infernos. "If you weren't my boyfriend, I'd 've skinned you alive by now."

"Which only goes to prove how much you really want this relationship to work." The orange nomad replied; seemingly unfazed by her graphic response. "And maybe, just maybe, it also proves that there's some good deep down inside you~"

"If you ever do that to me again, I'll beat you into the ground like a tent pole."

"Point taken."

After that little exchange, the two cosmic travelers just sat there in awkward silence. Then, after what felt like an eternity, Dominator finally broke the ice.

"So… how does this work exactly?"

"It's easy." Replied Wander cheerily. "We just take turns asking each other questions, and then we answer them honestly. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Yeah, sounds like a real laugh riot."

"Oh, now don't be such a sourpuss." The orange nomad said teasingly. "I'll start. Deedee, what's your favorite color?"

"This is stupid."

"What was that?"

"I said red! My favorite color is red! Are you happy now?"

"Okay, okay, no need to get all worked up. This is supposed to be fun, remember." The furry wanderer said diplomatically, before seamlessly slipping back into playful mode. "Now it's your turn."

"Okay… what's your favorite color?"

"Yellow. But if you don't mind my saying so, this isn't going to be much fun if you just repeat everything I ask."

"Ugh! Fine! Whatever! Uh… what's your… um… favorite drink?"

"Szlarnian Rutabaga Brandy." He answered casually, much to Dominator's astonishment.

"Come again?"

"I said, Szlarnian Rutabaga Brandy."

"But… that has alcohol in it."

"Yeah, I know."

"So… you drink? As in drink drink?"

"Well… not excessively. But yeah, I like a little hooch now and then. Why, is that a problem?"

"No…. Actually, I… think it's kinda cool."

"Oh~"

"What?"

"You were smiling~"

"Shut up."

"You're having fun~"

"Just ask another question already."

"Okay, which do you prefer, dogs or cats?"

"Definitely dogs. I hate cats."

"Really? Why?"

"They're all snooty, ungrateful jerks."

"Well, I think they're adorable."

"You think everything's adorable."

"Fair enough. Anyway, it's your turn now."

"Okay… uh… what's Maripoza?"

And just like that, the orange nomad suddenly went very, very pale.

"W-Wh-W-Where did you hear that word?" he asked nervously, as his complexion grew paler by the second.

"That Creep-O Night Mayor mentioned it back at the Blasteroid Formation and then you started acting all weird." Dominator replied, seemingly oblivious to her boyfriend's apparent discomfort. "So later I got curious and looked it up."

"Oh… I see. And… wh-what did you find out?"

"Not much. I had to go through like six different Galactic Databases, and the only entry I could find on it said that it was an isolationist planet that blew up seventy-five years ago."

"Oh… I see." Wander muttered in reply, sounding almost bitter. "So that's how they remember us."

"Aha!" shouted Dominator; her voice dripping with childish triumph. "I knew it! That's where you're from isn't it."

"Deedee, please, I really don't…"

"So~ Little Mr. Nice Guy and Friend to the Whole Dang Universe started out as a full-blown xenophobe. How very interesting~" the villainess said with a sort of morbid fascination. "So maybe, just maybe, there's still some of that old hatred deep down inside you~"

Slowly, Wander's expression shifted from apprehension to something resembling anger.

"Don't act like you're some kind of expert." The furry nomad replied, sounding almost resentful. "You don't know anything about Maripoza."

"Then why don't you teach me." Dominator suggested. "Tell me all about your home planet."

"No."

"Ah-Ah-Ah Pumpkin~ You have to. It's part of the game~"

"It's my game, and I say I don't feel like it."

"Pretty please~"

"I SAID NO! ASK ME SOMETHING ELSE!"

The wanderer's voice echoed off the walls of Dominator's bedroom; making it almost seem like he was yelling at her in stereo. To say that she was taken aback by this sudden outburst would be an understatement; in truth, she had been horrified.

Wander had yelled at her.

Wander never yells, at least not in anger.

And yet, he had.

And for reasons she did not quite understand, that made the villainess quake with fear.

Apparently noticing the terror in his girlfriend's eyes, Wander's rage quickly subsided, to be replaced by mournful guilt.

"Deedee… I… I'm so sorry." He said to her, sounding almost as horrified by his actions as she was. "I didn't mean to scare you… it's just…"

"No, it's fine. I'm sorry too." She replied, secretly astonished that those words had come out of her mouth. "I won't ask you about… that place… anymore."

"Thank you." The nomad muttered sullenly. "So… do you still wanna play?"

Dominator didn't respond at first. Her head was still spinning from what had just happened. But more than that, she was confused by this odd pang she kept feeling in her chest every time she looked at Wander.

It was almost as if seeing him in pain made her feel pain.

Was that a thing?

She had no idea.

"Uh… sure." She said finally, trying to sound cheery in spite of her inner maelstrom. "So… um…"

She paused for a moment, desperately trying to think of a question that wouldn't upset him.

"How did you… uh… get your hat?"

This seemed to have been the correct choice, as Wander's expression immediately started to perk up a bit.

"That's… kind of a long story."

End Notes:

Well, the cycle begins again my faithful followers. I hope this first chapter was to your liking. See you all in the next one. Peace.