Suffering in Silence
By Dixxy Mouri
Family (Baratie)

For ten years, the old man was nothing but the crusty old pirate who'd seen fit to take him in because he'd said something about wanting to see the All Blue. It was kind of strange, really – it was the first time someone had cared about him at all because of who he was, and not because of, well, who he was. It was something that had taken a while to really "click" in Sanji's head, a strange and foreign feeling after spending the first nine years of his life with . . . them.

Sanji didn't talk about his birth family, lying through his teeth that he'd been an orphan when Zeff took him in. Some days he wondered if the old man knew, but he suspected that he didn't care. He loved to cook, he loved his restaurant, and the notion that one day Sanji would leave to find the All Blue for the two of them kept him happy.

And yet he was stuck.

There had been a number of occasions that he could have gone, but he always, without fail, got cold feet. While it was true he didn't want to leave Zeff by himself, even after the likes of Patty and Carne and the other chefs had started to show up, the image of his father's cruel, cunning smile crept into his mind's eyes and he ultimately decided to stay, yelling about any reason he could think of but the truth. He didn't want anyone to know who he really was or why he refused to leave.

Let them think he was stubborn; it was better than them knowing he was a coward.

Every chance he had to leave and find the All Blue ended the same – he'd find himself back in his tiny room in the Baratie, frustrated with himself and hating how damn hard it was to just go. He wanted to find that sea – for himself, for the old man, for both of them – but he knew the All Blue wasn't the only thing waiting for him on the Grand Line. And the longer he waited, the angrier he would be with him once he found him.

Sanji did not want to be found.

Then again, he didn't think any of them, even Zeff, had any idea just how terrifying the Grand Line could be. From what Zeff had told him they hadn't gotten that far in the year they'd traversed that sea – they didn't even cross the Red Line at Mariejoa. Sanji, meanwhile, had seen bits and pieces of both halves already, due to their unusual situation.

It wasn't until the roof was destroyed by that stray cannonball that Sanji finally found a reason to leave, and finally understood that there was a third reason he couldn't bring himself to leave his beloved Baratie. For all its flaws and jerks and the old geezer, it was, after all, his home. It made him forget that he'd spent most of his young life on the run because, in all honesty, he felt safe there.

The day he left with his captain, he realized these men were his real brothers and uncles and cousins, and that his real dad was the old man with the wooden leg. They were, in their own strange way, his family, and this time, leaving his family was actually painful. These people loved him. These people wanted him to be happy.

And as Sanji found himself kneeling on the deck of the Baratie, showing his gratitude towards the old man, he realized just how much he wanted them to be happy, too. He needed to make them proud, and that meant it was time to stop running away from his dreams out of fear for what might happen and start running towards that dream, even if he was still scared.

Sanji didn't want to leave his family, but it didn't take long for him to find himself a member of another.

Author's Notes

Hey guys, so here's my first foray into Tumblr's #32DaysOfSanji celebration.

Because of how much I've got on my plate I'm keeping this one short-ish side.

So the angle I'm taking is that, basically, when you look back through One Piece you can see that there are times where we get little hints and clues from Oda that something is going on with Sanji and now that we have an idea as to what that is, I decided to write out some of the series from his POV with that knowledge in mind.

As an additional note to my FFDotNet readers, Mass x Acceleration will be resuming updates sometime soon. Chapter 32 is in the hands of my beta reader and once it gets the okay it'll be posted.

Stay safe, everyone!

Dixxy