Title: Lloyd Garmadon and the Crush Curse

Summary: Because it sounds like a Harry Potter book. Alternatively, Lloyd has a bunch of crushes and is adorable.

Character: Lloyd

Pairings: A bunch of Lloyd ones. (Also OT3.)

Theme: Love (Or in this case, Crush)

Words: 3416

Warnings: Mild language (no curse words are fully said), mention of the "intercourse" using that exact word, headcannons ahoy, that boy is bi-bi-bi (or ace is cool too yo), lenny face, memes, I had a lot of fun writing this

Note: This will be a collection of oneshots to help me with characterization. Sometimes I use themes, sometimes I don't. It can be AU, canon, or canon divergent. If you have an idea, PM me. This isn't a pairings collection either so expect to see a lot of family relationships and bonding; this idea just happened to be the first I wrote. I'm working on my actual AU-fic while writing these oneshots so please be aware that there is no set update schedule. Please leave feedback on what I did right or wrong. No criticism is too harsh but "you suck" is not criticism. Thanks for reading this note and I hope you enjoy the oneshot! I tried to keep it light and funny but some angst snuck in there. :)

It was a well-known fact that Lloyd got crushes easily. It was so well-known that it soon became an inside joke after Lloyd officially joined the team. After becoming celebrities, it ascended the ranks of humble inside joke to the staggering might of meme. The term #LloydCrushes was trending for weeks.

The ninja thought it was hilarious, Lloyd was not so amused, and Wu still didn't understand what a meme was.

Lloyd's first crush was, unsurprisingly, Nya. She was the only girl in the group which had mattered at the time to his kid-ish mind. The world was black and white, heroes got with the girl, and obviously he was the hero.

Even he had to admit, he never stood a chance.

Nya was pretty, beautiful even. She was smart and funny and she spent time with him when the ninja were away. It seemed logical, at the time, that he would have a crush on her and he could see why Jay liked her so much. In reality, in Cole's words after his own Nya fiasco, Lloyd was crushing (not in love, ew) on the idea of Nya, not Nya herself.

It was the day of the Traveler's Tea debacle when Lloyd finally confessed his feelings to Nya. She had smiled then and politely turned him down. Lloyd wasn't really as hurt as he thought he would be and then went off to play videogames. They both had a good laugh about it though.

"Maybe if you were a few years older, half-pint," Nya had teased. Irony was fickle thing.

Lloyd's second crush happened when the ninja found out about his first. Whole segments of time went into the careful planning of sentences that would lead up to the punchline: "Lloyd had a crush on N-ya." To say Lloyd was miserable was an understatement.

Jay was the ringleader of the teasing with Kai and Cole quickly following suit. The teasing, while annoying, was never spiteful or mean. In fact, it seemed like something an older sibling would do to a younger one—or was it the other way around? Comics had never prepared Lloyd for any of this.

The only amusement Lloyd found through the whole ordeal was the way that Jay would eye him as he joked with Nya or how Kai got this funny look on his face whenever Lloyd's old crush was mentioned. Honestly, the two worried over Nya so much that Lloyd wasn't very surprised when Nya finally put her foot down on the topic.

Throughout it all, Zane watched from the sidelines. Sometimes the nindroid would chuckle at a particularly funny joke or offer a sympathetic smile at Lloyd, but other than that, he was merely an observer. It made sense, then, that Lloyd would start to hang out with him more often.

Lloyd expected it to be calm and meditative, which it was. What he never expected were the butterflies in his stomach or his wildly beating heart. Lloyd was confused and mildly concerned that he may be having an allergic reaction to the nindroid.

When Zane pulled him aside one day and told him that while he was flattered Lloyd had feelings for him, he didn't feel the same, Lloyd finally understood. And then promptly died of embarrassment. He couldn't look Zane in the eye for weeks after but they still hung out regularly.

Somehow, someway, Jay found out. Jay always found out. If Lloyd never heard another "Lloyd and Zane, sitting in a tree," it would be too soon. To make matters worse, Zane and Pixal were hot together. Life was unfair with its unnaturally hot robots.

Later, the reporters would ask about his previous crushes and how his family felt when he "came out." Lloyd would reply that there was never any need. Being raised to be evil since birth, Lloyd naturally went against society in everything. Being bi was just another thing on his checklist to, as his father would have said, "rebel against the system."

Zane was a nindroid and didn't seem to understand the social stigma behind the whole "omf, Lloyd is gay" the media was trying to spew. Love was love and Zane also never understood why the others would snicker every time he said it or how Jay would choke out, "I see no difference." People were confusing and no amount of switch flipping would change that.

Cole's father was a barber and Cole himself had attended dance school since he was little. He had his own fair amount of gay jokes and couldn't be bothered by it. Lloyd was the responsible, laid-back, and childish team leader who still read comic books like clockwork and that's all that mattered.

Jay had grown up in a junk yard and had recently found out he was adopted to boot. He never had any friends growing up and was labeled "the weird kid." He would have been more offended and horrified if Lloyd had said that Starfarer was the worst franchise to ever exist than Lloyd being bi. Besides, he had enough horror stories from his parents' childhood; they used to check people out together.

Kai and Nya had to take care of themselves after their parents' passing. They had learned early on that excluding people over trivial things made for bad company and bad business. The idea that Lloyd was bi just slid off them like water off duck feathers. It was there and it didn't bother them and they went on in life. The only problem was the fangirls but Kai had really brought that on himself.

Lloyd's third crush was Jay and no one was to know ever. It was after they had defeated the Overlord for the first time but before they had taken on the job as teachers. They were helping rebuild Ninjago City and kept the peace. It was on a regular patrol through the city when Lloyd spotted the bank robbery.

He wasted no time in apprehending the criminals by himself. His victory was still sending waves of confidence through him and he didn't bother phoning the others in. He admitted that he deserved the blow to the head for turning his back to the body.

Lloyd went down like a sack of potatoes and had no time to defend himself as the criminal bore down on him. Luckily, that's when Jay swooped in.

"Ninja go!" the blue ninja shouted as his spinning tornado plowed into robber. The robber did not get back up and Jay relaxed his stance. He turned to where Lloyd had fallen and offered the green ninja a hand.

"You okay?" Jay asked but what Lloyd heard in a brilliant action-to-trope association was, "Are you okay my sweet prince?" The image of Jay in knight's armor sitting atop a white horse flashed through his head and Lloyd was mortified at himself.

Ignoring the hand, the criminal, and the robber, Lloyd fled the scene without another word. He vowed to never again stay up late watching romantic comedies with Nya. Jay watched in confusion as the green ninja disappeared from sight.

"Okaaaay… that was weird."

That night at dinner, Jay had ended up laughing so hard that milk shot out his nose and Lloyd's "knight vision" shattered. Lloyd had never been more grateful for lame jokes and milk in his life.

(Somehow, someway, Jay never found out. Jay would never find out.)

Lloyd was never sure if his fourth crush could actually be called a crush. It was more an awkward mix of sweaty workouts and "oh no, he's hot."

Sundays were, unanimously, a free day to do whatever you want. The ninja could train, play videogames, or go out whenever they pleased. Also unanimously, the weight room was to be avoided at all costs at noon. Lloyd never understood why until he decided to investigate.

Lloyd had gone in to work on his arm strength. In the last fight, he felt that his right arm was lagging behind and that he was relying too heavily on his left. He was in the middle of his workout when Cole entered.

They spared at quick nod at each other before focusing back on their own training. Lloyd huffed as he pulled the weight up with his right arm and glanced over at Cole. He nearly dropped the weight on his foot.

Cole had taken his shirt off sometime between the door and the middle of his workout and Lloyd openly gawked at his chest. He knew the ninja had abs, it came with the job, and he knew Cole was physically the strongest, it came with the earth powers, but what. Sweat glistened on the earth ninja's body and Lloyd could faintly hear the grunts and pants that came from him.

Lloyd snapped his gaze back to the weight in his hand and tried to focus on his weight training. He could feel his face redden as he failed spectacularly at keeping his eyes to himself. Furtively glancing at Cole, Lloyd's eyes transfixed on a single bead of sweat as it traveled down, down, down—

The green ninja hastily ended his training session and exited the room. Once out of the doorway, he practically ran to the game room. Slamming the door open and shut behind him, he sank down on the couch next to Zane. Jay glanced up curiously from his videogame. Kai didn't even bother to turn around from his spot next to Jay.

"Cole," Kai quipped, unleashing a quick combo on Jay's character. Jay cursed and retaliated with his own.

"He can't—" Lloyd said. Zane patted his shoulder comfortingly.

"We know," Kai droned. WINNER! P1! the screen announced. Jay gave a shriek of annoyance.

"He can't just do that."

"We know."

"That's illegal!"

"We know."

"I believe it is my turn," Zane said as Jay screamed, "Rematch!"

Lloyd could never tell if Chamille was his fifth crush or his first girlfriend, as they never discussed their relationship. While many of the elemental masters had returned home after the battle, Chamille was one of the few who had decided to stay behind for a few days to help rebuild New Ninjago City. Again. Seriously, either the city was cursed or built atop an old burial ground.

It was during a lunch break when Chamille approached him.

"Hey greenie," Kai smirked. Lloyd looked at him in confusion before understanding dawned on him.

"Hey Chamille," he greeted the Master of Form easily. The two had started a rocky friendship in the time after the battle and had quickly become good friends.

Chamille, Lloyd learned, took sarcasm on as armor and was hilarious to listen to. Her impersonations were spot-on (obviously) and just as fun to watch. She was dangerous and fun and would mercilessly crush you if you got in her way. Lloyd didn't know if wanted to stay as far away as possible or be crushed.

"So you know we just rebuilt the diner on New Fifth Street," Chamille said. Lloyd nodded and gestured for her to continue. "Well, guess who's going on a date there."

That was another thing Lloyd learned. Chamille didn't ask. And Lloyd was oddly okay with it.

"Time?" he laughed. Chamille smiled and her tense stance fell away.

"Be ready," was her answer, laughter in her eyes. That was yet another thing Lloyd learned. Chamille didn't laugh with her mouth when she meant it, she laughed with her eyes. The more Lloyd learned about Chamille the more he fell for the dangerous Master.

"Okay," he said. Their date was started five minutes later and they both enjoyed lunch together.

It was mutually agreed to break it off by both of them. Chamille had to return home to her parents and Lloyd had his ninja duties to attend to. It wouldn't be so bad if Chamille lived close to the city but she lived half-way across Ninjago. They both knew that their lives would be too chaotic and busy for any stable relationship to survive long distance. And so, they broke it off.

Lloyd saw her off with an empty feeling in his heart and wondered what could have been. Chamille smiled awkwardly at him before boarding the bus that would take her home. She climbed the first step before spinning around to give him a fleeting kiss. She raced up the steps and the bus doors closed with finality before Lloyd could even say, "Goodbye."

Lloyd was sure he was cursed. Cursed to forever crush on the people around him in new and embarrassing ways. When he eventually confided to the others, they laughed at the idea.

"Lloyd Garmadon and the Crush Curse," Kai snickered. Lloyd rolled his eyes but couldn't help but grin. Zane looked fairly amused.

"No, Lloyd Garmadon and the Curse of Crushes!" Jay giggled.

"Same thing."

"No, you see—"

"Okay, that's enough," Cole said, finally stepping in. He smiled good-naturedly at Lloyd who returned it. "It's about time for bed, anyway."

It took a while but all the boys were eventually settled into bed. Lloyd was glad that the others hadn't taken it too far. Sure they joked around, but they knew when to stop. Or more accurately, Cole knew when to warn them to stop.

"Oh," Zane said suddenly, piquing the other ninja's interest. "Pixal has just informed me of an important point. Has anyone talked to Lloyd about sexual intercourse yet?"

A beat of silence encased the room before Kai and Jay howled with laughter. Lloyd groaned and hid his beet-red face under his blanket.

"It's too late for this," Cole muttered from his bed but did nothing to stop the two as he turned to face the wall. Light snores could be heard moments after.

"What?" Zane asked. "Pixal and I thought it was a valid question. What is the joke behind this?"

Zane would never get an answer that night as Sensei Wu decided at that very moment to yell, "Go to bed!"

When Lloyd was possessed by Morro, he could finally say that his crushes came in handy.

It was funny to randomly throw an image of Cole working out or knight Jay at Morro. Sometimes the ghost would stumble from the sudden thought and fall on his face. Other times, he would stop what he was doing completely and blankly stare forward. His servants watched him with concerned looks.

"You have a problem," Morro finally told him. Lloyd mentally grinned at him.

When they next saw Kai, Morro almost gave a groan of despair while Lloyd gave the mental equivalent of a nervous chuckle. It seemed that Lloyd had found his newest crush.

Lloyd watched the TV like one might watch a train wreck. You knew that a carnage filled disaster waited for you at the end, but you watched anyway.

"Green Ninja! May we have a moment!" a reporter screeched, shoving a microphone into TV-Lloyd's face. The camera chose at that moment to zoom in on his face, making the annoyance that lined it stand out sharper. "We've heard rumors that you've been seeing someone behind the Master of Form's back. Is there any truth to this claim?"

TV-Lloyd sighed tiredly. They had just caught him after a particularly long patrol, Lloyd remembered, and he remembered thinking at the time that he just wanted to go home.

"First, me and Chamille have been over for a while. Second, who I decide to date is none of your business."

"But sir!" TV-Lloyd made a face at the title. "The public is itching for answers! We all want to know—"

Lloyd remembered how frustrated and exhausted he been as the words tumbled out his mouth. "Look m'am, whether or not I have a girlfriend or boyfriend isn't—"

"Boyfriend?!" the reporter shrieked excitedly. TV-Lloyd seemed to realize his mistake as he fumbled on screen, searching for a way out. "Now you have to answer! Who, what, where, when?!"

"Shi—"

Lloyd turned the TV off.

It wasn't that crushing on Kai was horrible or anguishing. It was annoying and exhausting. Two months had passed since the Preeminent had been defeated and the ninja had become celebrities. Two months and he was still crushing on Kai.

It wouldn't have been so bad if they had stayed the same after the Preeminent's defeat. But they had become celebrities, and with becoming a celebrity there came one dreaded thing: fangirls. The media was also a nightmare to deal with and don't get him started on Kai's newest obsession, Chirp.

But the worst part, the absolute worst, was the shipping. He didn't know how. He didn't know why. But apparently if you were a band of five boys with one girl, the shipping went rampant. Not to mention the, Lloyd shuddered, OC's and self-inserts. He didn't want to tread on any toes or hurt any feelings but…

And now they were shipping him. With Kai. It was called "Greenflamme" or something like that. It was a weird ship name but "Kloyd" or "Lai" sounded infinitely worse. At least the others weren't magically exempt from it either.

"Bruiseshipping" was rather popular and it would have been funny if Jay and Cole hadn't been so weird lately. So was Nya, now that Lloyd thought about it. He really didn't know what was going on with that trio and really didn't want to find out.

Lloyd complained about the shipping. Constantly. It was starting to grate on everyone's nerves and Cole was ready to pull the kid aside for some leaderly advice consisting of, "Don't annoy the people who are going to be watching your back." It was during one of these complaining bouts that Kai finally snapped.

"I mean, I'm not completely useless. I defeated the Overlord and—"

"And then you got kidnapped, drained, possessed, yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it," the fire ninja rattled off. A flash of hurt crossed Lloyd's face as he opened his mouth to argue but Kai steamplowed on. "You also gave up your childhood, had to fight against your father, gave away your powers, had to banish your father, the list goes on. If a few fans can't see the sacrifices you made, then they don't deserve you."

Lloyd was speechless. The fire ninja was pleased and accepted the high-fives from the other ninja. The green ninja tried to speak but his mouth had forgotten how to make words.

"Oh, and by the way," Kai continued, obviously enjoying Lloyd's dumbstruck expression. "I love you and all kid but you're not my type, sorry. I heard through the grapevine that a certain Master of Form is coming down to vacation in New Ninjago City."

"All summer," Jay added, wiggling his eyebrows.

"How did you—"

"You talk in your sleep," Zane spoke up, though laughter laced his words. "Last time you mentioned something along the lines of, 'Hot robots.'"

"Knight Jay," Jay chortled. The blue ninja reached across the table and snagged Lloyd's hand, placing a dainty kiss on the back of it. "At your service my dear prince."

Lloyd looked despairingly over at Cole. The earth ninja, for his part, hadn't so much as uttered a peep. The two locked eyes and Cole did his best to keep a neutral expression.

"Abs," he deadpanned. As if that word were the breaking point, the table erupted into hysterics. Nya and Sensei Wu, hearing the noise, went to investigate, took one look in the room, and left.

Lloyd gasped with laughter as tears streamed down his face. He had never been happier for his crush curse.

"GUYS!" Lloyd's furious screams could be heard throughout the Bounty. "WHY AM I A MEME?"

Lloyd's laptop screen was pulled up to Chirp where a list of Chirps could be seen.

supah-fiyahmaster004 tfw yo crush game too strong #LloydCrushes

fearisntaword goodnight my sweet prince #LloydCrushes

caterpillareyebrows look at your man, now look at my abs. #LloydCrushes

caterpillareyebrows alright, who changed my username.

caterpillareyebrows fearisntaword you are dead to me jay. #ColeCrushes

samuraiXninja caterpillareyebrows actually, it was me. ;)

samuraiXninja also, i feel honored to have green ninja-approved boyfriends. #LloydCrushes

ZaneJulien This is rather silly but if I must.

ZaneJulien Hot robots. #LloydCrushes

Pugnacious_Intrepid_Xenodochial_Android_Lady Zane is mine but you have good taste. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) #LloydCrushes

ZaneJulien Pugnacious_Intrepid_Xenodochial_Android_Lady Pixal no.

Pugnacious_Intrepid_Xenodochial_Android_Lady ZaneJulien Pixal yes. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

fearisntaword lol get rekt son

supah-fiyahmaster004 here come dat droid B)

fearisntaword oh hoop wat up

lloydthegreenninja i hate you all.

Lloyd loved his family.