Run

Natsu stood on the corner of the road and hoped that this was the right place. After some digging by himself and Lucy, Loke had told them Gray's address although neither Loke nor Cana had been there in years so he could have moved.

The small, terraced houses were cramped together and crumbling around the edges. Grey pebbledash had fallen off the walls to leave gaping open patches, thick streaks of grime were smeared across the remaining pebbles and there was also something suspiciously dark red spattered across a house further down the street. Gray's house was supposed to be the one on the corner and it didn't look much better. All the curtains were drawn except for where a window was shattered on the ground floor and the door was battered with aggressive markings and dents.

Taking a deep breath Natsu stepped forward and knocked, brushing away the bits of paint and dirt that came off onto his knuckles. Almost immediately the door opened a crack and a dishevelled Gray stuck his head out. Anger and surprise fought for dominance in his expression before he slammed the door shut, but not quickly enough to avoid Natsu shoving his foot in the way.

Wincing in pain he pushed Gray aside and forced his way into the living room. Instantly Natsu reeled back from the rancid smell. A few chipped plates were left on the coffee table, the remains of food decayed beyond recognition, while shattered glass littered the area around the window. In the corner was a pile of thin, yellowing blankets which showed signs of recently being slept in. Mould spread from a wet patch on the ceiling and nestled itself in the corners of the room while stains from alcohol and something Natsu didn't want to think about were left to seep into the carpet.

He looked up at Gray in horror while he was still frozen at the door, eyes wild and scared like a rabbit in headlights. The sound of a car making its way down the road snapped him out of his daze and he swung the door shut before grabbing Natsu's wrist and dragging him into the kitchen. There was almost no time to take in the empty bottles scattered through the room and pile of broken dishes in the sink before he was yanked out of the back door as the front door opened simultaneously.

"Gray! Wha-" A fierce yet panicked look from Gray shut him up as he was again pulled forwards as Gray crept away from the house.

"Gray? Where are you? You can't hide from me I saw you at the door. Don't try and run from me again you piece of shit."

They broke into a run now, red blotches already forming around Natsu's wrist where Gray's tight grip never faltered. Suddenly he veered to the right and dragged them down a narrow alley as Natsu heard the sound of the back door smashing against a wall in the distance. A stream of curses left Gray's mouth as he continued to sprint through the winter evening. Even after the sounds of his pursuer died out (it seemed like they gave up soon after they left the house) he carried on running, only stopping when they were in the middle of town in a wide gap between two buildings.

Both boys took a minute to catch their breath, panting deeply as they leant against the brick wall. Natsu couldn't help but notice that Gray's hands were shaking, either out of fear or adrenaline he didn't know. Finally he heard a nervous swallow before a shirt was thrust into his face and Gray rounded on him, shoving him into the wall.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing coming to my house you damn stalker?" Gray's voice was now composed into an aggressive growl, "I'm not allowed to have people round – Lyon would have killed me! And you just fucking turn up? Without being invited? Without me giving you my address? Without me even liking you? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"…You're not allowed to have people over?" Natsu's voice came out smaller than he'd like but concerned all the same.

"Huh? Well uh… strict family. That's normal isn't it? Yeah, that's normal. You're the weird one." He had backed up slightly by this point, releasing his strong grip on Natsu's shoulders, words slightly too fast. "How did you even know where I lived anyway?"

"Loke told me. I just wanted to give your coat back, I um, I didn't mean to see-"

"That fucking bastard. You could have just given it to me at school you know? Didn't have to fucking break in."

"School started three weeks ago and you haven't been once. I thought you might have needed it or something." Although seeing Gray's fingers tugging anxiously at the belt loops in his jeans he now realised it probably wasn't a problem unless he'd left something valuable in the pockets.

The fact that Gray was clearly confused but didn't question Natsu was strange. Grief screwing his sense of time up was possible but school had started before their parents were even found. Did he just forget?

After a while he looked up and grabbed his clothes from Natsu, stalking into the distance. He grumbled something about not being able go home now which was barely audible even with Natsu's good hearing.

"Wait!" He called chasing after him "Let me make it up to you. I'm sorry, okay? So let me buy you a meal or something and then we're even."

"Fuck off, I don't want to spend any more time with you. I'll go home in a few hours why would I be hungry enough for a full meal dumbass."

"But you don't get fed at home." It slipped out. Those seven words that made Gray freeze on the spot like ice flowed through his veins. He turned slowly, looking hurt as if Natsu had betrayed his trust by knowing the truth.

"Just how much did Loke tell you?" His voice was low but a hint of fear was easily detectible.

How much terrible stuff was there to know? What was Gray hiding? What should he do in this situation? Lie and make it seem like Loke told him personal information about Gray behind his back? No, that would be a shitty thing to do and it wasn't Loke's fault. Would Gray believe the truth considering how much he hated him already? It wasn't unbelievable was it? Just unfortunate that it was him that Gray spilled his secrets to.

"You told me. You were pretty drunk on Halloween. Just let me get you some food, it's not pity I just don't want to owe you one ya know? I'll eat way more than you anyway." Natsu tried his best to sound cheerful. Disguising a meal as a challenge often worked on Sting when he wasn't eating properly so he hoped it would work here too. Gray's nose scrunched up in thought as his pride fought with his stomach.

"Fine. You can buy me food but I'm choosing where. And this doesn't mean we're going to be friends or that I even like you, okay?" Natsu gave a nod.

They walked in silence, Gray's hands trying to ease his nervousness by dancing between his necklace and belt loops. The cold silence still hung between them while they ate. Gray refused to make eye contact, instead keeping his eyes downcast and his shoulders tense but as time went on and Natsu remained too cautious to make conversation he began to relax. Eventually he looked up and didn't pull his signature sneer when Natsu smiled at him which, as far as Natsu was concerned, was a massive improvement.

"Jesus Christ you can eat a lot."

"Boys who can handle their food are pretty hot right?" Natsu teased while flashing him a wide grin.

"You have food in your teeth." He only smiled wider. "You're disgusting."

"Your house is disgusting." Shit.

Gray flinched and within an instant his cold demeanour was back and the amusement in his dark eyes had dulled. Every time he spoke with Gray his filters were lost and he messed up. It was like he wanted to aggravate him, it felt natural but so wrong at the same time. It wouldn't be half as bad if Gray didn't look so painfully hurt each time.

"Please don't tell anybody." Gray's voice was small, his eyes downcast again and fingertips fiddling with his pendant.

"I won't, I'm sorry. Fuck. If I can do anything to help…" He trailed off, not really knowing what to offer when he had no idea what the problem was, but he'd offer all the same.

"You've done more than enough, thanks. Just forget about it." His usual cutting tone was back as he moved stiffly to get up and leave. Gray was slipping away from him. He fucked up. Badly. Gildarts would never let him join the force if he couldn't even handle this. Think, think, what could he say?

"Is it okay for you to go back yet? I mean like is it safe?" Gray faltered, eyes flicking to the side before he grimaced and went to sit back down again. "Will it be okay to go back at all today?"

Still not looking at Natsu, Gray's expression was blank as he slightly shook his head. Looks like he'd have to find a park bench to sleep on since Loke was currently dead to him and he couldn't think of a good excuse to turn up out of the blue this late anyway. Although the cold didn't bother him, staying outside on a breezy winter's night wasn't something he was particularly looking forward to. At least I have my coat now he thought bitterly.

"This is all my fault. Um, look I know you don't like me and I totally get that but if you need a place to stay I have a warm apartment and a spare bed so?"

An actual bed. That'd be rather it would be if he wasn't miles out of his comfort zone right now with a near stranger who he hated. Brave the cold or stay with Natsu. Everything about him flashed red flags in Gray's mind but he couldn't quite pinpoint what the problem was. It wasn't like Natsu was dangerous, Gray could definitely beat him in a fight, but he stayed wary of him all the same. Sighing, he decided he didn't really have another option and nodded, hoping that was enough for him to get the message.

A/N I'm not really happy with how I executed this chapter, I've been told multiple times at school that concise writing is one of my strong point but I felt like it was just rambling on here. Also this is gonna be a long author's note but I think it's important to the story that you read it please.

I've been wanting to say this for ages and now's the perfect time: I never set out to write abuse. "Well no one forced you to." Yeah I know but it was the only thing that made sense to me in this setting. I try desperately to keep the characters in character (although I'm not sure how well I pull it off) and part of the way I do that is by looking at why their personality is like that. E.g. Gray is closed off with his emotions because he's been so badly hurt before, Natsu was obsessed with finding Igneel so he didn't have to deal with the actual loss etc. Here in a modern setting Natsu can't come back from the dead or time travel so Zeref can't be horrifically broken over his death so they're normal brothers. To take an orphan in you have to foster or adopt them so Ur does that with Lyon and Gray so Ultear's their sister etc. They both blame Gray and take it out on him and he doesn't know how to get out.

I have not experienced neglect or abuse like this, I am not an expert. I looked up some signs of abuse and neglect and added them into Gray and their home and I'll keep doing as much research as I can without upsetting myself but it's probably not gonna be a completely accurate representation of abuse. People with PTSD (from what I've read) don't trust people easily, which is completely understandable and realistically I'm not sure if Gray would have agreed to go with Natsu but that's just where the story's headed.

If you can see some things that are wrong in the way I portray this please let me know (if you don't want to comment I have a tumblr buy-bye-bi where you can private message me) so I can fix it.

I am also not a mental health expert although I will be showing some symptoms/side effects probably mostly taken from my own experiences. For example memory loss/dissociation for periods of time is a big thing for depression and also chronic illnesses and other mental health issues. I'm not gonna be diagnosing what this version of Gray has or anything but again it's a thing to take note of. Since the mental health stuff will be from my experience I don't really want criticism on it because I think I've made it clear that people experience stuff differently and I'm not claiming these experiences to be universal for nd people.

Lastly there was a comment saying that Gray's not in love yet but Natsu is and while you can interpret my writing however you want and it's great to see how things come across, that really isn't what I was trying to show. This is slow burn, this is realistic from my experiences of love and falling for people. Fics where the characters meet and then a few weeks later confess their love really bother me because love is much more complicated than that and there's such a big difference in the degrees of a crush, fancying someone, going out, love etc. Gray doesn't like Natsu at all at the moment (he might be slightly in denial and say he dislikes him way more than he actually does but all the same he doesn't really like him) and Natsu has a minor crush at most. They will end up together, they might fall in love by the end, they might confess it or I might just leave it in the actions but for now they're really not and I'd like that to be clear.

This is because I don't want to portray Natsu as 'saving him' because they're in love or because they're boyfriends it's much deeper than that and although that might help him in his recovery, being in a relationship is not a cure at all that shows a very little understanding to issues like this. Gray is going to work on his issues himself and be self-reliant, the end. Even when Natsu provides him with an opportunity to get out, a safe space and provides support he's not 'saving' Gray. I don't want to say that Gray's just using him either but it's a mutual thing done out of friendship, kindness, decency, understanding etc. as well as eventual love. Depending on the people who help you out of bad situations forever is not a long term solution and is completely unhealthy and puts a lot of pressure on the person who offered support in the first place. Regression will happen and it won't be their fault because ultimately you're only responsible for yourself. (Example: Juvia destroying a whole village and nearly killing herself just because Gray left).

It's probably noticeable that I have slightly lost direction with this fic. Everything before was leading up to finding their parents then the aftermath and now I'm trying to find a way to move it on so if you have any suggestions please tell me and I'll probably add it in. I'm not asking for specific stuff just like before I got a comment saying 'a chapter from Gray's point of view was nice' or something so I did another one. Stuff like that since it's still very much my story and I'm not making any promises to do a specific scene.

Thank you so much for reading this it was so important to get some stuff of my chest. Updates will probably be every fortnight now at least while I'm trying to write for two fanfic weeks at the same time and also retaking my GCSEs. Thanks again, bye.