Those Damn Cinderblocks

A/N – So, I've recently been having a couple conversations with people (and watching old clips on youtube) about a Shield reunion or a Seth/Dean face team in light of a Roman heel turn. And every time, there's this giant obstacle standing in the way. And it's not the June 2nd incident either. Because in my mind, time has kind of healed that wound and I think if Dean were to really step back, he would see that if he was in the same position, he would have done things exactly how Seth did. So, I think that much is forgiven. But every time I look at these two and their rivalry playing out on screen, I can't help but think, can the cinderblocks ever be forgiven?

So, I decided to write my take on exactly that, told through the eyes of Dean himself. This is a one-shot with a potential for more depending on if people want me to continue. And my last couple Shield one-shots have kinda been Dean-absent so this one is entirely him. Hope you enjoy!

Oh, and one more thing. This is independent of the WWE Draft and takes place after the events at Battlegrround, which yes, involve a Roman heel turn and Seth face turn. Everything you need to know is explained in the story though.

#BelieveintheShieldReunion

There were days like last Monday, when his former brother unexpectedly and inexplicably came to his aid against AJ Styles and the Club, when all Dean Ambrose wanted to do was forgive Seth Rollins. When all he wanted to do was put everything in the past and just try to see if they could in fact save some semblance of their friendship which had meant so much to him.

But those days were few and far between and were often followed by ones, like today, where Dean woke up with painful, brutal headaches that served as easy reminders as to why he couldn't and why he wouldn't forgive Seth even if he wanted to.

Those damn cinderblocks.

There was a lot Dean could get past.

Sure, the way Seth betrayed both him and Roman, the way he so cavalierly threw away their two years of brotherhood hurt. It hurt like hell. As much as his back ached that day from the cold steel of the chair coming in contact with it over and over again, it was the emotional pain that outweighed the physical. It was the dark, unfeeling coldness in Seth's eyes, in his face, that hurt so much more than a stupid chair ever could. Because it was like he was disconnected from it all, that destroying the Shield meant nothing to him, that Dean and Roman meant nothing to him and maybe never had.

Dean didn't even see one hint of remorse in those eyes and that was the worst part of it all.

But even so, Dean knew that he could forgive that day. He would never forget and the memory of watching Roman go down before it was his turn to take the beating would never full be erased, but he could forgive it. If only because Dean wasn't perfect himself and he wasn't exactly always the most upstanding guy before he had the good fortune to land in with Seth and Roman and to form the Shield.

Plus, he kind of got why Seth did it. They had been in-fighting, well him and Roman had, a lot, prior to the split. And every time when the two were just about to come to blows, Seth was always there to break it up. He called himself the glue that held the group together and the truth was, he was exactly that.

Dean and Roman never got along, ironically, until after Seth had betrayed them both. They became allies in making sure he paid for his actions and given they only had each other at that point, it brought them closer together.

But prior to that, it was Dean and Seth and Seth and Roman that made up the real friendships within the group. Seth and Roman because they were a formidable tag team, one with a crazy unbeaten streak and an absolute dominance to their in-ring style. Seth and Dean because of FCW, because of the wars they waged there and the respect they gained for the other in the process.

So to say that Seth betraying them was something Dean hadn't seen coming would have been the understatement of the year. Not even three months prior he had saved them. He had called the Shield Summit and had given them all the choice to walk away from one another, while making the case that their better option was to stay as a unit as they were stronger together.

Dean never really knew if Seth had honestly meant or believed that at the time, but he did and Roman must have too because they came back stronger than ever and took down Evolution in the process. But Triple H had a plan B, that son of a bitch always had a plan B. This one just so happened to be offering Seth everything he had ever wanted, everything that made his claims about how the Shield could take over the place seem unimportant by comparison. After all, why did he need them to be the next big thing when Triple H was promising it and actually had the connections to make it happen?

And this is where the disconnect came for the first two years because all Dean saw was red. He felt Seth had done more than betray their group but that he had killed their friendship as well and didn't even seem to give a damn. He had the opportunity to walk away, during that stupid summit, but he chose to keep them united, being the first to put his fist in the center of the ring after asking the question, "Are we done here, or are we done?" Roman and Dean followed suit, followed his lead. If Seth could keep them together, Dean knew he and Roman could do their part as well.

But then just three months later when Seth had an offer that wasn't there before, ending the Shield was just another instance of him doing what he claimed to be "best for business" and best for his own career advancement.

Having held the title now himself once, Dean kind of got it. He kind of understood that Seth was just pushing to pursue a singles career, taking an opportunity that at the time, he was sure both he and Roman would have too if it had been offered to them. It wasn't, so Dean was able to claim then he was better than falling for Triple H's games, but now, after the way he lost his own championship? Well, he was able to admit to himself that he would have done anything to keep the belt now and would have done anything to get it back then.

Where things were still murky however came in the matter of how Seth did what he did, not so much the why. Even with him taking Triple H's offer, they could have parted ways as friends, or at least on better terms. It didn't have to be personal. It really could have been just a business decision and Dean knew that he would have been angry about it then but in time he would have been okay with it. Because he would have watched Seth at the top and been able to be happy for him and only remotely jealous.

Instead, he found himself wanting to take everything from Seth. He stole his briefcase, he stole his title. He did everything in his power to make sure Seth got what he deserved and didn't get what Triple H had been promising him. That had become Dean's mission. Why? Because he always believed in justice and to him that was the best form of justice he felt he could bestow onto Seth.

So he wasn't exactly innocent in things either and he was a bit revenge-obsessed. The point was, Seth wasn't the only one who had made some mistakes back then and to the man's credit, he had become somewhat of a changed man since coming back from his injury. Sure he was still the same annoying, self-entitled prick Dean had come to loathe, but without the Authority, rather with the Authority having turned their back on him, there was something different.

Dean wasn't sure if it was good different, bad different or just different-different until he watched Seth grab a chair from Roman's hands, a chair that was mere seconds from coming down right across his face. Seth had saved him from an assault at the hands of yet another turned former brother and neither of them really could figure out why.

Guilt? Perhaps.

A change of heart? Less likely.

Finally seeing the full impact of the damage he caused? Possibly.

Whatever the reason, that was kind of the moment that gave Seth points, the one that made Dean realize he could forgive the two-time champ for being the one to hit him with the chair two years prior. It was like he made up for it and in Dean's mind, it was easier to go fully after Roman for the way he shit on their relationship, one that had become even closer than what either of them had with Seth, if he was only holding a vicious grudge against one of his former brothers. So, Dean knew he could drop the anger and the hatred toward Seth for disbanding their brotherhood. That part was actually coming easier than he thought all things considered.

But Dean wasn't a saint, not even close, and while he could forgive a lot, the betrayal included, what he couldn't get past and what he knew he'd never get past was what it felt like to have his head smashed through a pile of cinderblocks and the man who did it simply stand there and laugh after it was done.

Seth didn't care. He didn't care about Dean's career or hell, even about his well-being, his life. The curbstomp could have killed Dean, it could have left him brain damaged or paralyzed or with a broken neck or all of the above. The fact that he still got headaches every now and again was about the best he could have hoped for given it could have been so much worse.

And not once in two years had Seth apologized. Not once had he shown any hint of regretting it. In fact, he often mocked it. Often joked about how he deserved credit for Dean being not right in the head. Hell, he even threw the man a eulogy for his career, a clip that Dean was hard-pressed to lie, but had watched it close to 50 times.

"And those headaches that Dean Ambrose will have for the rest of his life, are no accident. And every time his head throbs in pain, he'll remember what a mistake he made by not walking away from me when he had the chance."

Those words quite frankly, still haunted him. He knew them vividly. He knew Seth's entire eulogy vividly, so clearly that he could recite the words forward and backwards if anyone had asked him to. He had lived it. He had lived his skull nearly cracking under the weight of Seth's boot pushing it against the concrete blocks. He had lived the next week, as Seth rolled the clip and smiled.

Dean knew just how much pleasure Seth got out of that incident. He knew that Seth had every intention for his injuries to be worse. Maybe he wanted him to never wrestle again. Maybe he hated him so much that he actually did want him to suffer brain bleeding or a broken neck or worse.

Whatever the reason, it crossed the line from Seth's actions being completely business. There was malice in that stomp and Dean would never forget it.

So no, Seth shouldn't have been allowed to say time and again that his actions were not personal because when you almost end a man's life or at the very least try to, it's personal. It's extremely, undeniably personal.

And the fact that Seth was so callously able to look past that made Dean sick to his stomach. This was a man he trusted, this was someone he called a brother. Dean had gone through a lot of damage in his time as a wrestler. He had broken bones, bled more than anyone ever needed to, almost punctured a lung, but he never felt more hurt and more betrayed as he did in that moment when Seth looked him in the eye and stomped him in the face.

Dean was so busy reflecting on the memory that simply wouldn't go away, that he hadn't heard the locker room door open and Seth walk in. As Dean looked up, he noticed the two were alone. Seth nodded at him and Dean did the same in return. And then Seth smiled, that same smile Dean had come to love and hate at the same time, the same smile that could be worn in praise and protection or deviously and with a desire to harm.

"You uh, seemed a little off out there," Seth said after the two had remained in silence for close to 10 minutes. "Everything okay?"

Dean took a deep breath. "Just feeling the effects of a big headache I haven't been able to shake all day."

"Oh," Seth replied. "Well, I've got some stuff in my bag if you think it might help."

Dean couldn't help but laugh. "Not that kind of headache Seth," he said curtly.

"Hangover?" Seth asked somewhat cheekily.

Again Dean laughed dryly. Humor was honestly the only way he was able to survive that situation without crumbling into a ball of tears just thinking about what a man he used to consider his best friend was so easily and so callously able to do to him.

"Noooo," he drew out the word slowly. "More like, one of those headaches Dean Ambrose will have for the rest of his life. The ones that were no accident."

Seth's face turned white almost on the spot.

"What's a matter Seth?" Dean asked softly. "Looks like you've seen a ghost? Or maybe, you just saw your conscience, finally showing up after all of these years."

Seth was motionless, he was speechless.

"Cool, good talk," Dean added as he brushed past him and towards the door. He had one more parting thing to add before he left.

"You ever see a neurologist before Seth?" Dean asked, not giving Seth a chance to answer even if he had been planning on it. "Yeah, it sucks. But hey, at least I'm alive right? At least I'm not in a fuckin' wheelchair or buried six feet under the ground. So I guess this throbbing in my head will just continue to be a reminder of the mistake I made ever trusting you."

With that, Dean slammed the door and left the room, leaving Seth stunned and alone, to contemplate the biggest mistake he had ever made in his entire life.