Kendall could not fucking believe that of all the band members, he and Carlos were the ones on time. Sure showed them, though, because they were supposed to begin rehearsal an hour ago and Logan and James were still nowhere to be found.

Gustavo had yelled, taken a deep breath, and crashed through the recording booth door to go smash some plates. Kelly was making phone call after phone call while Kendall and Carlos resorted to sitting cross-legged on the floor for a staring contest.

Carlos won – for the fourth time in a row. Kendall snapped his eyes shut with a disgruntled "Come on!" and rolled onto his back, aggressively rubbing his eyelids. Carlos popped up, whooping, and began a victory dance. It involved way too much hip rolling for Kendall's comfort.

"How do you do that?" he demanded. "You get distracted by butterflies!"

Carlos replied jovially, "Ain't no butterflies in here, brother!"

From across the studio, they heard Gustavo bellow a command. Kelly hung up her cell. Kendall sprung to his feet in time for Freighttrain to walk in with Logan slung over one shoulder and James over the other. They were bickering incomprehensibly over each other, and continued to do so when they were dropped to the floor. They got to their feet and began shoving each other.

"You have no right – "

" – taking forever James – "

" – body is a temple – "

" – no guy ever – "

" – lucky comb – "

" – make Gustavo kill us!"

Carlos jumped between them and backed Logan away while Kendall grabbed James by the shoulders and pushed him back. "Guys, chill out!" Logan crossed his arms. James pouted and "fixed" his hair. Kendall released his hold on him.

"DOGS!" The word reverberated painfully through the room, and the boys clutched their ears. "Do I even want to know why the hell you two were so late today?!"

Logan said, "James absolutely refused to come out of the bathroom."

James quickly followed, "It took so long, because Logan kept messing up my routine!"

Logan snorted. "You know what, screw your routine."

James gasped, and Kendall pushed a hand against his chest to keep him from attacking Logan.

"So I'll take that as a big fat NO," Gustavo yelled. "Because I don't care about your personal problems. Don't be late! Got it?"

The four boys nodded and assented. Gustavo dropped into his chair and glowered.

Kelly pushed the intercom. "All right guys, we're going to have to run late today –" (Carlos groaned and Kendall glared as his other friends) " – oh shut it. Let's start with Boyfriend."

Five hours, too much dancing, a sore throat, and four aching asses later the boys groaned their way into the apartment. Carlos immediately perked up and charged for the sandwiches Mama Knight left on the kitchen counter. Logan collapsed onto the couch. James announced that he was going to take a shower but Kendall grabbed his arm. "Not so fast." He kicked the front door closed and directed James toward the couch, who reluctantly sat.

"Okay." All of Kendall's muscles hurt like hell, but he forced himself to remain standing. He glared at James and Logan. "Thanks to you two, today Gustavo worked our butts off – literally. So what the hell happened? So we can make sure that it never happens again."

"Logan was being mean!"

Logan had all but melted into the couch cushions, but he still managed to look superior. "Real mature, James. We were running twenty minutes late because sir Overlord of Beauty over there couldn't tear himself away from the mirror."

Distressed, James refuted, "I was having a really bad hair day – which I know isn't often – and I needed to be extra careful about it."

"He was finally done, but he walked into a door –"

"You were pulling me!"

" – so of course he had to start all over again. And I may have kinda lost it a little." He finished the sentence sheepishly. Kendall looked to James for clarification.

The latter's lip trembled. "He broke my mirror!" Kendall face-palmed. "And he tried to get my lucky comb!"

"Look, I'm sorry I broke it. And you can be reassured that I'll have seven years of bad luck because of it." James nodded, slightly appeased, and Logan shrugged at Kendall like I don't know. "But dude, your attachment to that mirror and comb is really unhealthy."

James looked scandalized. "That is not true." He looked at Kendall for support.

Normally, Kendall tried to be a little tactful about his friend's personal beauty quirk. The fights just weren't worth it. But he was tired, lactic acid was building up in his muscles, and his ears still rung from Gustavo's shouting – and it was James' fault.

"Man, you were an hour late for rehearsal today. You take forever to groom and for what? It's just the four of us in a room working with no one else but Kelly and Gustavo there. Five other people and none of us gives a crap what you look like!"

James' face visibly fell, indignant expression melting. Running a hand through his sweat-damp hair, he said, "Okay fine, whatever. I'm gonna go get clean now." He walked off to the bathroom, trademark saunter visibly missing. Kendall watched him go, taken aback. He'd expected a push-back from James; he had never been one to just take a lecture like that. He always argued, always defended himself. Kendall groaned. He so did not have the energy for a kicked-puppy guilt trip.

He turned back to Logan. "That was weird, right?"

"Dude, you were pretty rough on him right there," Carlos commented from his kitchen stool. He took another big bite of his sandwich.

Kendall sighed and flopped down next to Logan, who appeared to be deep in thought. Slowly he said, "I'm worried about James."

Carlos waved a hand dismissively. "He'll be fine."

"Like he was just now?"

"I'll apologize to him later okay? We're just exhausted," Kendall exclaimed.

Logan sat up. "I mean that James has been disturbingly narcissistic lately. And no one should take what Kendall just said that hard."

"James has always been self-absorbed. And a drama queen."

"It's just James," Carlos added. "It's not like he has Hollywood Fever again."

"Wait, could he?" Kendall asked.

"No, I think it's worse," Logan said. "James caring about his image is one thing. But this ridiculously excessive obsession with his appearance is probably symptomatic of some deeper problem, like supressed feelings of inadequacy due to - "

"ENGLISH."

Logan took a breath. "I think he needs to see a therapist."

Kendall stood up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. Okay. Isn't that jumping the gun just a little bit?"

Logan stood too, swayed a little, then sat down again. "James used to be much more laid-back than this."

"He's fine!" Kendall insisted. "It's just this town that's gotten into his head a little. He's allowed to go a bit crazy."

Carlos interjected, "Besides, none of us are the same as we were in Minnesota."

Kendall made a see? gesture at Logan.

Logan raised his hands in surrender. "You've known him the longest, Kendall. You think he's okay? Fine. I'm going to sleep." He marched off and disappeared around the corner.

Kendall turned to Carlos, who shrugged. "Sandwich?"