19. Author's note

Hello, my readers.

As I said before, this chapter basically is me explaining about the story and the characters and all that came into my mind when I was writing this. You may skip it if you like.

So basically, this story was inspired by two not so recent books (two apart from Harry Potter, obviously): the first one was "Emma" by Jane Austen. When I first started writing this, I had just finished it for the very first time, it was one of the few Jane Austen's novels I had not read and as I was on summer vacation, I decided to give it a try. I loved the plot (the narrative not so much as I think it was kind of dragging with all that unnecessary dialogue) and I instantly fell in love with Mr. Knightley, as something very similar happened to me with my boyfriend: we were best friends through high school and started dating in college when we realised we had feelings for each other and we've been together (and happy) ever since. So I was instantly in love with the plot and I realised that I had never written a story like that, so I immediately thought about Victoire and Teddy for it.

The second book which inspired me to write this fiction was "Grey" by E.L. James. Yes, I know, it's not exactly compatible with the other reference previously mentioned. I have to admit that when the "Fifty Shades" books came out I read them all in one sitting (I was a sophomore in high school) and I found them okay. But recently (around the time I read "Emma") a friend of mine who's a true fan of the books told me to read "Grey", and because it was a lazy summer vacation and I had nothing better to do, I did. I cannot begin to say how messed up (and boring) I found the whole thing to be. The sex was okay, in fact, (even the first time I read the books) I found the sex to be more in the milder side of the spectrum, I had previously read erotic literature and "Fifty Shades" was nothing new to the genre. What I considered messed up was the whole Christian/Ana relationship. More than once I considered the characters comical and unrealistic, and I was terrified that some people considered it under "relationship goals". I was disgusted.

So I wanted to do something like that, but with Ana (Victoire) choosing the healthier relationship and realising that what she had with Christian (Nott) was not only unhealthy, but stupid. So I had Nott mirroring Christian Grey: the playboy attitude, the complete lack of respect towards women, the damaged emotional side, and of course the sex god aura. I wanted her to have the temptation of a physical relationship, of being "forced" into it because of curiosity and fear and then realising how stupid that was. In the beginning Victoire almost throws herself at Teddy trying to make him look, and she does with Nott trying desperately to feel loved. But by the end of the story, she knows who she is, and what she values, and even though Nott is still trying to pull her back, she realises Teddy is so much better for her.

I've never considered myself a feminist, the truth is I didn't really cared that much, but after reading "Grey" and writing this story, I realised I'm so much more feminist than what I had thought at the beginning.

Thank you for reading, and thank you so much for liking the story. It was an exercise of self knowledge and discovery, and I think I grew up emotionally because of it.

-ShellCottage.