A/N: Shoutout to Myself for being an idiot and forgetting to list the characters! No wonder you got zero reviews! Now you have no one to shoutout to but yourself. :( Hopefully, this second chapter won't be the same.

Day 1:

"Well, here we are!" Hermione said with a flourish. She pulled out her keys and unlocked the door before she turned towards her...wife…and her camerawoman.

"I'll go in and set up," Luna said, shifting her camera bag to her other hand, "I'll call you both in when I'm ready."

Hermione nodded, avoiding eye contact with her fellow newly wed until proper decorum demanded it. "So, um. It's a little cluttered inside, but it's home. Crookshanks can be a bit…wary around strangers. But I'm sure he'll leave you alone, more or less."

"Hopefully we can be friends," Fleur said, "From what I have learned from your videos, your cat comes before any relationship."

"Speaking of my videos...how many have you seen, exactly?"

Fleur paused. "Most of them, I believe. Certainly enough to know that Ron has a few scars from his first visit to your house."

"I've only ever seen Crookshanks act out that one time! He's usually much more well-mannered."

"I'm sure we can come to an agreement."

"Hopefully…and well…I suppose we're on the same page. I've watched your videos too." All of them, in fact. At least twice.

"As amusing as they were," Fleur continued with an inviting smile, "I must say I look forward to getting to know the woman behind the persona."

"The feeling's mutual," Hermione murmured, fidgeting under Fleur's intense gaze. Shouldn't Luna be done by now? How long does it take to get a camera out?

As Hermione continued to avoid Fleur's eyes, the warm look on her face turned thoughtful. "So. Who shall carry whom over the threshold?"

The blogger coughed suddenly. "Excuse me?"

"It is a tradition, no? I believe that we should honor it."

Hermione imagined Fleur in a suit of armor, offering to literally sweep her off her feet. Did her crush actually ask her if she wanted to be carried into her own apartment, bridal-style? After a moment of secret indulgence, Hermione nodded hesitantly. "I'm sure the viewers would eat it up. But it's my home, so please, allow me."

"But Hermione…you are much smaller than me."

At those words, Hermione's nervous shoulders straightened. She puffed her chest in universal shorty rage. "I'm shorter than you by like, two inches!"

Fleur suddenly leaned in, hovering over her slightly. Still maintaining eye contact, Fleur smirked. "Those two inches make a difference, no?"

In a situation like this, Hermione would have gaped and stammered incomprehensible English. But luckily, her stubbornness only allowed a slight blush. With a huff, Hermione kneeled down, turning her back to Fleur. "Go on. Try me." Ignoring the chuckle, she waited until Fleur was situated before she gripped her thighs firmly and stood up.

Fleur "oh!'d" in surprise, tightening her loose grip. "…Well, Miss Granger. Color me surprised." Hermione grinned triumphantly until Fleur continued, "It's not much of a view, but you're stronger than you look."

In retaliation, she jostled Fleur a bit in the guise of readjusting her grip. But when Fleur giggled into Hermione's ear, she froze. Suddenly, she was hyperaware of Fleur's presence pressed against her back. Hermione bit her lip to stop from dropping her crush right then and there.

"You two sweethearts can come in now!" Luna exclaimed from inside her apartment. Hermione sighed, remembering the long week ahead of her. "Well. Let's get this marriage started."

Day 1:

(Hermione enters the cozy-looking apartment with a piggybacking Fleur. Hermione looks out of her depth, but Fleur seems to be enjoying herself immensely.)

H: Welcome to my home! I mean…our home!

F: C'est magnifique!

H: Okay, we're over the threshold. I'm going to let you down now.

(Fleur slides off Hermione's back with surprising grace. Hermione blows a lock of disheveled hair out of her face.)

F: Just to let you know, viewers, I offered to carry her, but she insisted. I have married a stubborn one.

H: She called me short!

F: At least I know my wife works out. (She winks.)

(Before Hermione could respond, a ball of fur jumps from a shelf and onto her shoulder, startling her.)

H: Ahh! Crookshanks!

(After a bit of squirming, the cat finally settles comfortably in her arms.)

F: My, he is even cuter in person. (Fleur reaches forward, and to the surprise of Hermione and her entire fanbase, Crookshanks just stares at her hand lazily before sniffing it. After a moment, Fleur moves to stroke the feline's head, which he accepts without fuss.)

H: …What on Earth?

F: I think he likes me!

H: How did you do that? It took years before he could even tolerate Ron!

F: He must know we're married. I would take this as a sign that he approves, no?

H: Unbelievable.

(After Hermione helps Fleur bring her bags in, they both enter the bedroom.)

F: Mon Dieu…Hermione, are you sure this is not your library?

H: I just found out I was getting married today, so I didn't have time to clean up…

(Hermione's room has overflowing shelves. There are books stacked precariously on every surface. The only bare surface is the bed, which is surprisingly meticulously made.)

F, interview: I knew that Hermione was an avid reader, but it took me by surprise just how much she lived and breathed books. I would be concerned if it didn't seem as if she had her whole life together, anyway.

F: And I thought your living room was full of books. How do you keep track of everything?

H: There's an organized chaos to this, I promise.

(Montage of them transporting books into the living room.)

H, interview: I am such a mess. I'm just good at faking everything, I guess.

"That should be good for now," Luna said, lowering her camera, "Get settled for tonight. If you want to document anything, just use your phones."

"Leaving so soon?" Hermione asked, "Are you sure you don't want dinner or something?" She was offering as a sign of courtesy, of course. It wasn't like she was sweating bullets at the thought of being alone with Fleur or anything. Not at all.

"I've already eaten," Luna said, packing her things, "And so have you two. I think you two should get to know each other. Or, if you're tired, just cuddle and go to sleep."

Hermione opened her mouth, but no words came out. Cuddling? That sounded…fantastic. And honestly, she would set herself on fire before that would ever happen.

"I think we will take your advice, Luna," Fleur said as she held the door open, "I hope you have a lovely night."

Luna hummed in response and waved, removing herself as the buffer.

Fleur closed the door and picked up her suitcase. "I think I will change for the night. And then perhaps we could chat?"

Hermione nodded mutely. Once Fleur left, she went into her room and threw herself on her bed. After groaning into her pillow for a solid minute, she reached over and pulled a drawer open. She might as well change too. And maybe brush her teeth in the kitchen sink. As awkward as it might be to face Fleur alone, it'd be worse if she just left her to her own devices.

"You're kidding me."

Fleur looked down at her silk pajamas. "What do you mean?"

Hermione gestured at Fleur, who still looked radiant with her bare face and unpinned hair. Then she waved a hand over herself. Her hair was in a messy braid, and her pajamas consisted of a large math club shirt and plaid-patterned fleece pants. "Are you going to a photo-shoot?"

Fleur slid onto the bed next to Hermione, stealing her cat pillow. "Aw. You're sweet."

Hermione averted her eyes back to her computer, responding with a quiet "it's nothing." Typing a few more sentences, she closed her laptop and set it aside so she could lean against the bedpost. "So…what do you want to talk about?" she asked as she literally twiddled her thumbs.

"Well, I would like to get to know you better. Tell me about yourself."

Hermione glanced at Fleur's curious eyes before she decided to stare straight ahead. At least it'll be easer to talk to her since they were sitting side by side; eye contact wasn't mandatory.

"Um…cats are my favorite animals. My favorite color is blue. I love reading, no matter what type of genre it is," Hermione bit her lip in thought, "…And pumpkin pie is my personal ambrosia?"

Fleur laughed. "Hermione, you sound like a nervous high school transfer."

She shrugged. She certainly felt like she was being scrutinized like one. Hermione could feel Fleur's eyes on her even without looking at her. And strangely enough, Fleur inched closer until their arms were touching. Did the French have smaller space bubbles?

"Though I've never met one, I'd have to say that otters are my favorite. I'm a fan of autumn colors, and I own a collection of shells. My favorite flavor of anything is vanilla."

Hermione nodded, filing the information to the back of her head. Maybe some tidbit will help her plan a date for later this week.

"Hermione, I could not help but notice. Other than your millions of books, you seem to have a few DVDs as well. So tell me…what is Person of Interest?"

Suddenly, at that golden question, Hermione couldn't shut up.

Somehow, hours passed before they noticed the time.

"It looks like we got carried away," Fleur said, passing Hermione her phone.

"Holy crap," Hermione replied. She returned the phone and pushed herself off her bed. Reaching her desk, she grabbed and brandished a candle. "Is it okay if I light this up? It's my attempt towards aromatherapy. And even if it doesn't do anything, at least it smells nice?"

Fleur nodded. "Go right ahead."

Rummaging for a lighter, she lit the candle and made jazz hands. "Ta-da!"

"Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Granger?"

"I literally just told you this was for aromatherapy."

"And the ambience is just a bonus, hm?"

Hermione rolled her eyes, but she smiled anyway. There was something about the dim lights and the late hour that set her at ease. She was much more comfortable with Fleur now. And she never imagined talking to her would be this easy. For once, she was optimistic about this whole fake marriage.

"Um…Hermione?"

"Hm?"

"…Your shirt is burning."

Hermione looked down and yelped, pulling her baggy sleeve away from the flame. She pouted at the singed edge. "Aw…this is one of my favorite shirts."

(Hermione and Fleur's faces are grainy and in lower quality, suggesting that they recorded the video with a phone. Fleur is laughing while an embarrassed Hermione stands behind her.)

F: The most amazing thing happened tonight.

H: Fleeeeeur! Please!

(Fleur moves the phone so that it faces a burning candle.)

F: In an attempt to create a romantic mood, Hermione actually literally caught herself on fire. (She points the phone's camera to Hermione's singed sleeve.)

H, interview: I swear to God, it was for aromatherapy.

F, interview: It got to see Hermione pout for the first time. It was the most endearing thing I have ever seen. (She laughs.)

H, interview: She said what? …Oh my God. (Hermione covers her face and groans.)

"I'm never going to live that down, am I?" Hermione asked after she changed into a new shirt. This time, it was short-sleeved. They were both lying on the bed in the dark, in the hopes that they'd fall asleep within the hour.

"Not if I can help it."

Hermione grunted before she burrowed further into the blankets. They were so soft. And she was so tired. Just as she felt herself drifting off, Fleur couldn't help but make one last comment.

"I guess you could say we're a perfect match, no?"

"Fleur, shut up."

A/N: Ending on a pun b/c I'm horrible~ Please review! I live on the stuff.