"…I'm a what?" Hermione asked.

"A married woman!" Ginny repeated with an unfailing grin. She handed her friend a pink cupcake with the word "Congrats!" written in tiny purple frosting.

"…When did I propose? Or rather, who proposed to me? I think I would have known if I was being proposed to!" Hermione rambled in an increasingly higher voice.

"Not in real life, silly! For a video!"

"Ginerva Weasley-Potter! When will you learn to open with the important details first?"

Her friend giggled as she sat on the free swivel chair next to Hermione's desk. "Remember when Harry and I filmed that one video when I was on vacation with my family?"

"The 'Couples Break Up For a Week' video? Of course I do. It was super cute and also utterly disgusting," Hermione said. In all honesty, Harry and Ginny were the most married thing since marriage. The amount of love that they packed into those six minutes of edited footage was nauseating. And even though Ginny was gone for only a few days, they made a viral video out of it. The employees of Buzzfeed could make a video out of anything.

"Weeeell," Ginny continued, "Ron and I thought it would be great if we did some companion videos where single people get married to each other for a week. What do you think?"

Hermione slumped into her chair and huffed. "Why me? Why is it always me?"

"You're a part of the Golden Trio! You're one of the most well known faces of Buzzfeed! Why wouldn't it be you?"

"What about Ron? He's a part of the segment, too!"

"Well yeah, but you know he has that on-and-off thing with Lavender. Best to leave that be."

Hermione pursed her lips before she hesitantly nodded in agreement. "…Fine. I'll be a slave to your creative arts. It's not like this is the worse thing I've had to do for YouTube." After all…there's a video where she literally tries different flavors of lube. Thank God her parents weren't techno-savvy enough to search for every video she's been in.

"Excellent!" Ginny exclaimed with a clap, "Meet me in the interview room at two." She rose out of her chair to start setting up, but a firm hand on her shoulder pushed her back down.

"Hold on," Hermione said, "Who exactly am I getting married to?"

Ginny's smile suddenly turned mischievous, which only brought a sense of serious foreboding. "Now, where's the fun in that? You'll find out soon enough." With that said, Ginny quickly scurried away before the blogger could prod her further.

"What a little weasel," Hermione muttered. She glared at her best friend, whose desk was directly across from hers. "Your wife is a weasel!"

"And that's why I love her," Harry replied, not even blinking as he continued to type his article.

Hermione scowled at the lack of response before she turned to her own computer. Hopefully, she'll be able to get some actual work done before saying goodbye to the single life.

"I'm going to make Harry a widow," Hermione muttered, "And this time, that's a promise." In the middle of the room, bathed in the camera lights, stood the largest girl crush Hermione had ever had in her 25 years of living: Fleur Delacour. The new French employee looked as beautiful as always in her blue blouse and dress pants and perfectly curled hair and hooooo boy, Ginny was a dead woman.

"Actually, Harry would be a widower, not a widow," Luna corrected, looking serene as always from behind the camera.

"…Thanks Luna."

"No problem."

"Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed, "Aww. You're super early! I was hoping to blindfold you and everything!"

Hermione pulled her friend to the side. "I'm going to kill you."

"You can thank me later. Maybe in a speech when you two get married for realsies!"

The brightest blogger of Buzzfeed ran a hand through her messy hair. "Why do I tell you anything?"

Ginny pouted. "Is this the thanks I get for all of my string-pulling?"

"I never asked you to do this! What on earth brought you to do this?" Hermione whisper-shouted.

The producer of BuzzFeedPeriwinkle tapped her chin in mock thought. "I don't know. Maybe it was the fact that you couldn't stop talking about the new French employee upstairs? With her amazing accent and gorgeous legs? Or maybe it's because I wanted a friend who would actually talk to me during lunch instead of staring at her crush with the worst case of heart-eyes since Carmilla Karnstein appeared on the Internet. For God's sake, you even called her Flawless Fleur. I could keep going, you know."

At this point, Hermione's face matched her red cardigan. And somehow, as if attuned to her emotions, her hair became frizzier than normal.

Noticing her distress, Ginny sighed. "I just want you to be happy, Hermione. And Lord knows you're never going to make the first move. Give it a try."

Before her friend could reply, however, the object of their conversation walked up to them both with a bemused expression.

"Excuse me? Is something wrong?" she asked in her lilting accent.

Hermione squeaked.

"…Nope! Nothing's wrong," Ginny answered as she subtly hip-checked Hermione to snap her out of her daze, "We'll be starting soon. But before we record the actual interviews, we need to lay down some rules…which are currently sitting on my desk. I'll be right back! Until then, please, get to know each other." As she walked away, Ginny turned around and gave Hermione a double thumbs up over Fleur's shoulder.

Hermione considered bolting, but before she could commit, Fleur smiled radiantly at her and extended a hand. "Hello, Hermione. I don't think we've been properly introduced. My name is Fleur Delacour."

She took the offered hand, praying that her palms weren't sweaty. "I know," Hermione stuttered, "You're the Lesbian Princess." After a moment, Hermione realized she should have probably given more context. "From that video! Yeah. I uh…heard it was a big hit."

Psh. That was certainly a lie. She probably contributed to a hundred of those views herself.

Fleur's smile widened. "Oui, that was me. And you are the Brains of the Golden Trio."

Hermione tried to return the expression, but she probably winced if anything. "Yup. That's me. With Ron being the Comedic Relief and Harry being the Poster Boy, they had to have someone with a bit of common sense." While it was true that they played to their online personas, if it weren't for her, those two would have probably died from one of their attempts to make their videos more exciting.

"I have been watching your segment since the very beginning," Fleur said, "Even before I was hired by Buzzfeed. I am excited to finally work with you!" Fleur clasped Hermione's hands in hers and squeezed in the name of coworker friendship.

My poor bisexual heart, Hermione thought as she held her breath.

Ginny interrupted the panicking when she burst back into the room. "So! Bad news! I can't find my notes!"

Luna skipped towards Ginny, presenting her with a clipboard.

"…Oh! Thanks, Luna."

"No problem."

"Alright, you two," their producer said as she flipped through her papers, "Some ground rules. You'll obviously be living together for the whole week. Sharing the bed, bathroom, the whole shebang. You'll be spending most of your time outside of work together, which includes mealtimes. And, hey, if you want to shower together, be my guest."

"Ginny!" Hermione screamed. Luckily, Fleur just chuckled and shrugged in jest.

"Don't worry! You won't have to film anything!"

"Ginny, I have your mother on speed-dial, I swear to God I will-"

"Also! You both have to plan one date for each other."

"Only one?" Fleur asked, which effectively silenced Hermione.

"One, one hundred, you decide. It's not my marriage," Ginny said, "Luna will film you on the bigger moments of your marriage, such as moving-in day, the date nights, etc. So a large part of this project will involve you guys doing the filming yourselves to capture the small moments of marriage. Like reading side-by-side. Or waking up next to each other."

"Sounds like fun," Fleur said.

Sounds like heaven and hell, Hermione thought.

"And the most important part is…you have to cherish each other. All right? Interpret that however you will," Ginny clapped her hands and squealed, "Now, let's get started!"

Interviews:

(Fleur 's posture is relaxed, leaving slightly towards the nervous Hermione, whose body language is even tenser than that one time she had to swim in a shark cage.)

F: Hello, I'm Fleur!

H: Hi, I'm Hermione!

F: We are both going to marry each other for a week.

H: Aaaaand we've known each other for five whole minutes! Hahaha…

(Hermione punched Fleur's shoulder lightly, which garnered a vaguely amused look.)

(This time, they're both standing alone. Hermione looks less uncomfortable, but still nervous.)

H: To be honest, I don't have that much experience with relationships. I'm looking for something for the long haul, so I'm not really into casually dating.

F: When I was still living in France, I dated rather frequently with a number of different women. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but you never know who it will be unless you cast your line, no?

H: Currently, I've been focusing on my career here at Buzzfeed. I think it will be very hectic trying to balance my work and home schedule around someone else's. And in terms of meeting new people, unless I'm approached as if I was a small, woodland creature, I'm horrible at it.

F: I love meeting new faces. Everyone has their own story. In this case, I have allotted time to get to know someone, which will be an interesting experience.

H: Behind this smile, I'm actually hyperventilating.

F: After some consideration, we have decided to stay at her house. I just moved into my apartment with my little sister, which is very small compared to her's.

H: I'm just praying that my cat likes her, or this just might not work out.

(They're standing together again. Hermione has her arms crossed tightly, as if she was trying to physically hold herself together.)

H: So, um, worse case scenario? It gets super awkward, and we can never interact with each other ever again.

F: Nonsense! At the very least, we will both have made a new friend.

H: And best case…?

F: We end up f**king.

(Hermione's jaw drops as Fleur continues to beam innocently. Off-screen, Ginny cackles in glee. Hermione sputters for a moment before she collects herself.)

H: Ha! Yeah! Good one! Hahahaha…

"This is actual gold," Ginny whispered as Luna replayed a few of the interviews.

"I'm actually dying," Hermione said in return, right before she chugged an entire water bottle.

"This will be the best. Week. Ever."

"I'm calling your mom to tell her about your meddling."

"You kidding me? She's the one who suggested it."

"…You're all blood traitors, the lot of you."

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this! I love the Single People Get Married Buzzfeed videos because they're basically the fake dating AU. Also, there is a deficit in Fleurmione fics, and that is a travesty. I'll do my best to contribute. Please yell at me if you like this because it will help me update, I promise.