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Tinker, Trainer, Huntsman, Why Not?

4: The 'D' Problem

Naruto sullenly wandered around Beacon's campus with his hands buried in his pockets and his eyes downcast. Blake's comments whirled around in his head and brought forth painful memories. In the back of his mind, Naruto knew that she'd only been curious and meant no harm with her words, but words could hurt all the same, even if they were unintentional.

Still, it wasn't the first time that the vast difference in appearance between Pyrrha and Naruto had been brought forward, and those stark variations were very apparent to the blond Nikos.

Pyrrha had their mother's beautiful red hair and striking green eyes. She was tall with an Amazonian build that made her aesthetically pleasing on the eyes - according to Naruto's friend Kiba (who was pretty much almost neutered had it not been for their teacher's interference) and she was impressively powerful. She was a kind soul and was very hard to upset. That is, of course, unless you were Naruto.

The blond in question, on the other hand, was, er, blond. Not a redhead. No biggie, right? Well, sure. However, he also had bright blue eyes instead of Pyrrha's striking green or their mother's beautiful purple. Now, Naruto was no geneticist, but he was fairly certain that a woman with purple eyes can not give birth to a girl with green eyes and a boy with blue eyes, especially with the same partner. This meant his looks came from the Y factor. His father.

QB-9 beeped an alert that dug Naruto out of his thoughts. "What? Who updated?"

The egg beeped meekly and Naruto's blue eyes narrowed.

"Show me."

QB-9 beeped before it brought up a holo-vid. A girl immediately popped up on the screen, and Naruto gnashed his teeth together. She was a pretty thing, that much he would begrudgingly admit. Long, flowing brunette hair, brushed neatly fell from her scalp along with a pair of obsidian black eyes. A pair of headphones covered her ears. The headphones had extended pink antennas that looked like rabbit ears. On her cheeks she'd painted two neon pink two whisker-like marks, much like his own.

Only, you know, not as awesome as his birthmarks. Not to mention unnatural.

"Hey, hey, D-Va is logged in!" She smiled cheerfully, flashing a pair of peace signs before that smile turned vicious. "So, I hear the Whisker-Loser's been smack talking again. Some nonsense about getting into Beacon Academy. It's all bark and no bite in my opinion."

Naruto's eye suddenly gained a very violent twitch, and if anyone were to ask why, he'd blame it on Yang's mess up in apothecary.

She shrugged and gave the camera a smug smile.

"I mean, it's not like I lost our last three matches. So now he's gotta try and get into some famous school? Puh-lease. I'm already in Atlas Academy out of invitation. Ten out of ten says, Tinker Toddler snuck in."

"That...Is slander! And totally beside the point!" Naruto screamed at the video. His teeth grit together so tightly his gums started to bleed. What he wouldn't give to turn the girl's camera and sponsors into scrap metal.

"So anyways, I said my piece on the loudest runt on VeeTube. Tell me what you all think, oh and Tinkle Toddler," D-Va leaned into the camera and smirked. "If you want to play, then maybe try the tutorials first. D-Va signing out!"

"T-Tutorials...That little…razzle-frazzle, mother-lovin..." Naruto began to make strangling gestures. QB-9 let out a worried line of beeps. Turning to the closest hard surface he could find, Naruto drove his fist into the wall. The small cracks he made was a satisfying sight, but his knuckles throbbed something fierce. Ignoring his pain and absentmindedly rubbing his abused hand, Naruto growled. "I'm going to beat that cottontail so hard, she won't be able to sit for a month!"

He was completely unaware of the crowd of students that just stared at him. They'd stopped walking through the hall when he started the video. Though, as his anger slowly diminished, the whispers of a duo closest to him started to fall into his ears.

"Hey, isn't that T1nkerTerr0r1zer?"

"What? Nah, he's too short."

"I dunno, he's raging like him."

"Hey, do you know if D-Va uploaded?"

"I'll check. Oh yeah, she did."

"Totally him. Only he rages like that towards her vids. ...Ha! Tinkle Toddler!"

"No way! Oh, I'm so chirping about this!"

"Oh, it is so on! Q, initiate protocol Rabbit Season!" Naruto snarled, his nostrils flared. QB-9 trilled in alarm and trembled in the air when two icy blue eyes fell upon him. "Yes! Rabbit. Season. Do it!"

"WAR! HUH! YEAH! What is it good fo-?" QB-9's attempt to dissuade its creator was cut short when it was grabbed firmly in one hand.

"Listen up and listen good, Q. There's three things I love more than anything in this world and that is my sister, my creations, and my reputation." Naruto growled. He pulled the little egg close and glared deep into its red eye. "Do you really want to know how those three are ranked, or do you want to just upload the video?"

"I ...love war~!" QB-9 played with a heavily accented, but obviously faked, recording.

"Darn skippy you do!" Naruto nodded firmly and let his egg float away. He turned and faced the whispering crowd. With a deep breath, and all eyes on him, as calmly as he could, Naruto pointed at the crowd. "Don't you people have anything better to do than to stare at a fourteen year old?!"

That got a good portion of the students moving once again. Though, a good few lingered.

"Can I get your autograph?" One of the students asked. Naruto looked at her, easily a second year or an older first year. Pursing his lips and weighing his options, he regrettably came to a decision on how to answer her question.

"I'll be doing signings in the cafeteria tomorrow." Naruto told the fan. The girl beamed and rushed off, probably to spread the news, but other than that, Naruto paid the lingering crowd no mind as he stormed away. He didn't have time to hang out with his fan base at the moment. He had evil plans, plans of sheer evil and terror, to unleash!

You will rue this day, Hana Song. This I swear!

The next day, in the break between classes, one could find Teams JNNPR and RWBY in the lunch hall. Not only was it spacious, but it had food. However, the youngest and most recent member of their little group was absent for a good portion of the day. Rumor has it that he'd woken bright and early, before the sun was fully up, and went down to Vale.

Pyrrha was focused intently on her scroll, waiting for a response to the tenth message she'd left for her spontaneous brother. She did not like waking up to finding him absent on his second day. And, what was more worrying to her, he never came to her about the topic that was brought up.

"Nora, what are you wearing?" Blake asked, pointing a finger towards the button on the hammer girl's blazer.

"Duh, Blake." Nora rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "It's Rabbit Season."

"What?" Blake asked, blinking. Yang and Jaune gave the orange haired girl a confused look, while Pyrrha remained focused on her scroll. Nora shook her head and took another bite of her pancakes.

"If you watched T1nker's channel you'd know."

"Who?" Blake asked.

"Naruto." Ren answered as he calmly ate his cereal. He sighed and rested his spoon in his bowl at their confused look. "T1nkerTerr0r1zer is Naruto's Net Name."

"Wait!" Yang shot to her feet and planted her palms on the cafeteria table. "That's his channel? Isn't he, like, one of the most popular gamers on VeeTube?"

"Double duh!"

"But isn't that kind of offensive?" Blake said, darting her eyes towards the Rabbit Faunus a few tables away. The girl looked extremely uncomfortable since a large amount of students were also wearing the same button. At least her teammates, or who Blake assumed to be her teammates, were with her.

"This is interweb stuff, it's completely different." Nora waved Blake's concern off.

"Says you." Blake scowled.

"Says the interwebs!" Nora protested firmly. "It's not racist, but you thinking it is makes you racist!"

"...That makes no sense!"

"Exactly! Racist!"

It was at this point that Weiss and Ruby walked up to the table, their trays in hand. The two girls shared a confused look with one another before they took their seats, Ruby across from Jaune and Weiss across from Pyrrha.

"Who's racist?" Weiss asked.

"Those buttons." Blake glared at the offending item on Nora's person.

"Blake." Nora huffed as she shoved another forkful of pancakes into her mouth.

"I am not a racist!"

"The buttons can't be racist, they're not sentient!"

"The message on them is in fact racist!"

"Only if you interpret it that way!"

"How can you interpret it in any other way?!"

"Maybe if you watched some high quality VeeTube you'd understand that the Bunny must die!"

Across the room, the rabbit eared faunus slowly tried to fall under the table. The burly teen beside her grabbed the back of her jacket and pulled her back up. He then patted her head and resumed eating his meal.

"Can we back up a bit?" Jaune asked, looking between Nora and Blake, who were now nose-to-nose with one another. He wilted slightly under their stares. "Why do the buttons say Rabbit Season?"

"D-Va dissed T1nker on VeeTube, so he decalred war," Nora said with a roll of her eyes. "Geez, Jaune, pay attention."

"Who is D-Va?" Jaune asked.

"A rabbit themed gamer girl," Ren said with a sigh. He pushed his bowl aside, finished with his meal, and propped his chin on his elbow. "To put it simply, she and Naruto are in the midst of a flame war. "

"Naruto's in a what?!" Pyrrha looked aghast. She'd only been marginally paying attention, but the word 'war' had come up more often than she was used to and she looked away from her scroll.

"Verbal attacks via the web."

"Oh…That's nothing too terrible, correct?"

"I don't know," Nora said thoughtfully around another bite of food. "She called him Tinkle Toddler yesterday and claimed he only snuck onto Beacon's campus, not accepted."

"Ohh, yeah. I heard about that. T1nker's not going to take that lying down." Ruby nodded and then resumed munching on her sweets. The table turned to look at the second youngest student in Beacon.

"Ruby! You knew what his channel is, too?!" Yang gaped at her baby sister. Ruby looked at her with a large cookie in her hand, inches from her mouth.

"...Yeah, so?"

"You knew I was looking for his channel!"

"It's super popular," Ruby said with a shrug. She chomped down on the cookie and spoke with a full mouth. "How did you not find it?"

"...Shut up." Yang huffed and looked away from her sister.

"Ruby. Chew, swallow and then talk. Must we go over this again?" Weiss asked dryly. Ruby closed her mouth and smiled sheepishly. The heiress shook her head and looked over at Nora. "So, this D-Va is a rival gamer? Does she not watch the news?"

"...News?" The table looked up. Weiss nodded.

"Yes." Weiss pulled out her Scroll and opened a minimized page. The caption at the top read 'Ozpin's Last Act? Underage Youth Enrolled In Beacon!'. The video was playing, though Weiss had the sound muted, and showed an endtime. Pyrrha's eyes were glued to the screen, seeing the Headmaster and her brother on a stage, in Vale, speaking to a crowd of journalists.

"Hey, I'm underage! Technically." Ruby mentioned after swallowing her cookie.

"Yes, but you went to a combat school. Naruto didn't." Pyrrha pointed out firmly.

Yang raised a brow at her. "You keep saying that. What's the big deal? We saw him blow that Ursa, and the wall, clear to the moon."

"I keep saying that with good reason. I've fought in tournaments, proving my skills, and you've all mostly gone to combat school, even if you didn't finish." Pyrrha frowned as the caption on Weiss' Scroll changed. 'Nikos Siblings At Beacon! The Invincible Girl's Brother!' it now read, and the redheaded girl barely contained a wince. "And this is exactly why I didn't want the media to get wind of him either. Now everyone's just going to see him as my little brother, not for who he is."

"...That's so sweet." Ruby looked at Pyrrha with a twinkle in her eye. The redhead blushed lightly and smiled at the younger girl.

"Thank you, Ruby."

"I feel like my 'best sis evah cred' is going down." Yang muttered.

"That's because it is." Weiss smirked.

"That's Weiss cold."

"Go jump off a bridge. And land on your head. And bleed."

"A lot or a little?"

"Which do you think?"

In the midst of their bickering, which somehow started up even more dispute between what was and what was not considered racist between Nora and Blake, the eight teenagers somehow missed the three yellow robotic cranes that entered the cafeteria. Each crane was no taller than a fully grown person, had a large amount of items held by the one arm, and rolled around on treads. One of the cranes even had a white dunce hat planted firmly on the crane arm, with the words DMB-DMB painted along it's sides in black.

Floating in behind them was a certain little red egg. QB-9 beeped and whistled at the cranes, directing them towards a curtained off area of the cafeteria. The cranes disappeared behind the curtain and dropped their loads with loud bangs.

Naturally, this drew the attention of the room. Many began to whisper and wonder what was going on behind the curtain. A bold few even tried to sneak peaks, one of those in question being Russel Thrush. Russel didn't even get close to lifting the curtain before QB-9 flew out low.

Right below his belt.

The sight gained more than one wince from the other males in the room.

Jaune, however, had an odd little smirk on his face.

"Man down!" The mohawked teen squeaked out as he grabbed his assaulted area and dropped into a fetal position. His teammates quickly moved to his side and helped him back to his feet, except for Cardin, who just pointed and laughed at his partner's pain.

"Poor Thrush, that's gotta hurt." Yang shook her head. She crossed her arms and hummed. "What's going on behind that curtain anyway?"

"Seeing as QB-9 is over there, I think it's safe to say that Naruto is behind it." Ren pointed out the little bot that flew back behind the curtains.

"Triple duh!" Nora snorted.

"Nora, eat your pancakes before they get cold."

"Ah! Thanks for reminding me, Ren!" Nora beamed at the boy before she returned her attention to her meal and dug in.

"What's going on over there?" Blake frowned at the curtains, which most likely concealed the instigator of this nonsense. The curtains drew open and revealed...An autograph booth?

"...He didn't." Pyrrha dropped her scroll.

"Oh, he did." Nora laughed.

Jaune blinked and rubbed his eyes. "There's gotta be something in my soup, because I think I see three women in foxy outfits and Naruto sitting on a golden throne."

"No, no you're not imagining that." Ren stared with wide eyes at the three women that had officially stolen all attention from the majority of males and a minority of females in the room. The women were voluptuous and scantily clad in clothes that looked like they came right from the casinos' midnight shows.

"Damn, where can I get that outfit?" Yang whistled.

"But their boobs are practically falling out!" Ruby hissed at her sister.

"Duh. The point," Yang said with a roll of her eyes.

"Presenting, the Foxes Throne!" Naruto, clad in an outfit that the emperors of Ancient Remnant wore, bellowed as he rose from the golden throne. He had a bronzed crown in the shape of a fox's open maw, a simple bronze Wesekh draped over his bare chest, and a linen skirt that fell to his knees. "Come! Meet my girls! Kneel before the VeeTube King of Games! Ask me nicely, and I may sign your stuff. Or your boobs."

"How did he get them in here without Goodwitch noticing?" Weiss asked, flummoxed by what she was seeing.

"I...I…" Pyrrha faltered for words. She couldn't believe what she saw. What has the internet done to her sweet little brother?! He used to make her little toy animals because they couldn't afford to have pets, or improve Milo and Akoúo̱, or-or play tag and hide and seek! Not...hang out with-with a bunch of-of floozies!

This had gone on for too long!

She was going to put her foot down, right here and right now!

"And don't forget to say hi to the rest of the Terrorizers!" Naruto grinned and pointed at QB-9 who was filming the whole thing. Pyrrha's indignancy rose to new levels, but she stayed in her seat while Naruto turned and waved at Q. "Hello my beloved followers! I wouldn't be here today without you guys!"

The redheaded Nikos slumped her shoulders. She couldn't do anything to her brother now, it would crush him.

She'd wait to strike until later, off camera.

She would ground him most definitively!

After about twenty minutes of signing, the cafeteria doors slammed open to reveal a orange slime-covered Goodwitch.

"What...Is...the meaning of this?!" She demanded.

"...Scatter! It's the Hag!" Naruto cried out. He tossed his crown off to the side and dropped the marker he was using to sign a fan's copy of RUINATION 2: Albert's Revenge, the A17-rated Horror Shooter game that got his channel set on the map.

On a side note, that was yet another reason Naruto didn't want Pyrrha to know about his VeeTube channel. She'd kill him if she knew he played that game throughout most of his eleventh year. At least Mr. Brunner didn't see the harm in it.

It also helped that the Nikos' old caretaker was extremely susceptible to Naruto's tried and true Wounded Kitten Eyes.

"Naruto Nikos!"

Thank goodness I Beta-tested Ninja Clan 2, Hanzo's parkour was awesome! Naruto jumped up to the upper rafters, using a wall jump to do so, before he jumped out the open window. An eagle screeched as he dove out the window and landed in a pile of well prepared hay.

"...Ow...MitchPitch was right, this doesn't help in the slightest." Naruto groaned as he climbed out of the hay. "Thank God for aura."

He hobbled away in triumph, smirking as he disappeared in the mess of older students heading for their later classes. He'd managed to not only connect with a lot of the student body, but get it all on camera and show just how welcoming Beacon Academy was to the youngest male on campus.

Let's see Bunny Girl top that! Naruto thought victoriously.

"Naruto Nikos!" The blond winced at Goodwitch's cry, which promised only pain and punishment if he stopped. He needed to find another haystack, fast!

"I can't believe he did that!" Weiss said as she walked out of the bathroom, dressed in her nightgown. Team RWBY, after they'd snapped from their stupor and went to their classes, were among the many teams still discussing the events of that morning. Naruto's stunning partners, his attire, the live stream that was active for a good portion of the day, the way Goodwitch was covered in orange slime, and Naruto's escape from punishment. "Where did those women even come from? The Red Light district!?"

"Doubt it. Pyrrha would probably kill him," Yang said as she did a few late night crunches.

"I can't believe he jumped out a third story window." Ruby commented as she munched on her late night snack.

Yang paused in her reps and grinned at her teammates. "I can't believe he had a four pack."

"I can't believe we're still talking about this nonsense." Blake sniffed as she turned the page in her book. Her nose scrunched up and she looked at Ruby. "Ruby, if you're going to take your boots off, go shower and get ready for bed. Your feet stink."

"That's not my fault!" Ruby protested with a pout.

"Yeah, she sweats a lot."

"Yang!"

"It's perfectly natural Ruby, it comes with your age. Just use more soap and scrub your feet." Yang teased, making Ruby puff up her cheeks.

"I didn't even wear my boots today!" She pouted and frowned at her glass of milk. "We had classes and Professor Goodwitch didn't call on me to spar today."

"Well, can you spray them?" Blake asked.

"Ugh, fine." Ruby slumped off her top bunk and moved to the closet. She opened it and her silver eyes widened at the sight before her.

Crouched within her team's shared closet, where most of their extra shoes or packed goodies remained, was a certain whisker-faced boy with spiky blond hair. He was still clad in the outfit from earlier, and had taken to hiding under Ruby's spare cloak.

"...Okay, I know this looks bad, but I can explain." Naruto whispered with his hands up. "You have to promise not to scream."

"What do I get?" Ruby whispered.

Naruto gained a frustrated look. "Seriously? You're extorting me!? I thought we had mental twin link or something!?"

Ruby inhaled a deep breath.

"Okay, okay!" Naruto hissed, recognizing the action as preparation to do just that. He grimaced and looked around while he thought of what he could barter. "I'll, uh, um-! Cameo! A cameo on one of my Forge of Badassery segments!"

"Done deal. Pleasuring doing business with you. Also, hold your breath." Ruby smiled as she held up a spray can, peppering the closet flavor scented mist. Naruto coughed at the extra cleaner that shot into his lungs, which Ruby covered by faking a few of her own.

"Ruby, spray. Don't inhale." Yang rolled her eyes.

She let out another a fake cough and closed the closet door. "Right. Silly me!"

"Ugh. Why lemon?" Blake asked, a look of disgust on her face.

"Lemony fresh, silly!" Ruby smiled at her teammate before she tossed the can to Yang. Yang then used the spray under her pits, grinning as she did when both Blake and Weiss deadpanned at her.

"What? I like smelling fresh before bed."

"You're deplorable…"

"And you're suffering from a tight sphincter." Yang muttered with a roll of her eyes.

"What?!"

Blake lowered her book and smirked. "She said you've got a tight ass."

"She's not the only one…" Ruby heard the mutter clearly, and frowned in confusion at the closet.

What the heck did Naruto mean by that? She wondered. Shrugging the odd comment off, Ruby jumped in before her new best friend tried to pick a fight with her sister.

Naruto checked his Scroll and it was well after midnight. He was pretty sure Goodwitch had given up by now and would resume her hunt of the blond Nikos in the morning.

Slowly, he opened the closet and with the stealth of Rigid Reptile he tip toed towards the door.

"Going somewhere?" A voice in the dark asked.

And no, Naruto did not scream like a little girl.

He did squeak like a mouse, though.

Naruto craned his head to see Blake staring right at him with those haunting amber orbs. Her eyes glared accusingly at him, but in the dark, with the odd glow they gave off, it seemed like a different sort of stare.

Puberty, calm down! Naruto yelled at himself. But man are her glowing eyes weird, almost like a cat's.

"...I can explain." He whispered and Blake arched a brow.

This was bound to be interesting.

And that's chapter 4! Whoo! Yay! Yeah!

We nailed it.

Also, as for why we can't use and changed to D-Va?Well, FF stinks like that sadly.

So, we hope you guys enjoyed and this and remember to do what comes naturally to all of you.

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