Thank you to Awesome Sauce (Guest) for pointing this out, I am sooooooo sorry, I just about died when I saw that giant mass of text that was my story ohmygosh. For some reason, the first version of this I posted had no line breaks whatsoever, which is weird because there are line breaks in the first version I posted... *X-Files Theme Song* But either way, I'm trying it again and *crosses fingers* hopefully it'll be okay... Again, so sorry!

John Laurens remembered exactly how this whole dare, or whatever it was, began. There was alcohol, of course, and they were playing drinking games, of course, and Mulligan - as well as Lafayette - started it, of course. Ugh. He really didn't want to be thinking about this. Again. John rolled over, sprawling on the couch, and stared at the wall. He considered his life. As far as lives went, his was probably fairly pleasant and… Life-ish.

Jesus Christ. John should stop trying to be all philosophical and just think about the thing he actually wanted to think about.

Laurens paused for a second. That didn't make any sense. Not sleeping sucked. How did all his friends do it? How did Alexander do it? Whatever. He stopped thinking and just let his mind drift away.

He couldn't help it. His mind always came back to this one thing. This was the one subject John thought about always, without fail, every single time.

Hamilton…

The second John Laurens had met Alexander Hamilton (two years ago, April, bar on the main street, 6:19 pm, blue coat, messy ponytail, extremely well-fitting jeans, not that John remembered all of this obviously) the former couldn't stop thinking about the latter. Ever. And maybe it was mutual. John knew, from what very little Alex had said, that Hamilton thought about him at least a little.

All of that was just made worse a year and a half later, at a party, when Herc proposed a game of truth or dare…

Alcohol sloshed onto the ground as Hercules Mulligan waved his beer around, trying to get everyone's attention.

"Thomas Jerrefsin!" the strong man slurred. "Quiet your mouth! And move it away from Jamsmadds!"

The group laughed too hard at that, and more alcohol escaped to the floor. John, from his crisscrossed spot by the table, mourned the lost liquid.

"I propose a game! Of Tare or Druth!" There was a moment of silence as Herc struggled through thinking, bogged down by beer. "I mean, of Truth or Dare! To the death!"

Everyone cheered. Laurens wondered why they were cheering about death. People always said he was a mournful drunk. Maybe he was…

"J-Lo, stop looking so damn sad! It's a damn party! What can I do to cheer you up?"

John turned to his left and there was Hamilton, crouching down next to him, grinning and holding a cup of his own. It didn't reek like all the alcohol Lafayette had bought for the party, so Alexander must have been staying sober. That was just like him - claiming that "he couldn't drink because he needed to work". Non-stop, John always said. That Hamilton was non-stop.

"Sit with me?" pleaded Laurens hopefully. "Drink with me?"

Hamilton laughed, his laughs were always more like giggles - so effing adorable.

"Fine. For you. But only a little bit!"

John hiccuped happily and passed his cup to Alex, who took a sip. Laurens stared at those lips, parting around the rim of the glass, opening to allow the liquid in… The curly haired man shook himself suddenly, blushing, and tuned into Herc explaining the rules in hopes of distracting himself. Hamilton took a seat, licking his lips, and gave John an unnoticed sly glance before turning to Hercules himself.

"Before all this alcholalll consumption, I made some rules!" At this, Mulligan whipped out a glittery orange notebook and began reading. "Ahem. Rule number one: You must answer the truth and do the dare, unless at least four people take pity on you. Rule number two: any time someone coughs, sneezes, or hiccups, everyone must answer the truth, or the dare is lengthened to a week/made more extreme. Rule number three: no HURT. No FIGHTING, ALEXANDER HAMILTON, THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. No MEAN. No NEGATIVITY. Excluding John being a sad drunk, because he IS."

"I am not a 'sad drunk', Jerk-ules! I am a - " protested John.

"RULE NUMBER FOUR: drunk!me can make up any more rules he wants, but no one else can!"

The group booed, besides John who was too busy crying into Alexander's chest over Herc calling him a sad drunk.

"That's bull, Mulligan, I refuse the rules!" piped up Angelica, and Peggy thrust her fist into the air in agreement.

"What is this, a monarchy? I want a democracy!" yelled Thomas Jefferson. "We fought for this ideals, we shouldn't settle for less!"

Hercules stumbled over to Jefferson and placed a thick finger on his lips, shushing the man effectively. Lafayette and James Madison glared, while Thomas turned red and moodily looked away. John kept crying violently, fueled by the fact that Hercules wasn't Alex and Thomas wasn't John. Burr, attempting to hide in the corner, looked increasingly like he didn't want to be there.

"ACCEPT THE RULES OR WE DON'T PLAY!" roared Mulligan. "AND J-LO, PLEASE STOP CRYING! ALEX IS HUGGING YOU, IS THAT NOT ENOUGH? ALEX, KISS HIM OR SOMETHING!"

Hamilton obeyed, pressing a gentle kiss to Laurens' forehead. John stopped crying immediately, and a giant smile spread across his face.

"How are they still not together?" murmured the entire group. And the whole world. If that were possible.

Lafayette stopped glaring at Jefferson, who was now hiding in Madison's sweater, and began the game.

"I'll go first! Thomas the Evil, truth or dare!" announced the French man.

There was a muffled reply from under James' head.

"He says 'dare'," supplied Madison. "Because he's a 'strong little noodle despite what the noodle-haters noodle!'"

Lafayette pondered for a moment, then leaned forward evilly.

"I dare you… To punch yourself! In the face!"

"No, no, no," Herc interjected, "No violence, my French poodle made of baguettes."

Laf growled halfheartedly. "Fine, I dare you to add on 'and then I'll go fornicate Madison' every time you speak."

Everyone howled in laughter and both members of "Jefferjames" blushed. Again. James Madison looked around furtively before sneezing. Definitely on purpose. Hercules roared and brandished the notebook.
"Dare extended to a week due to Mads' sneeze! You're welcome, the son of Jeffer!

"I hate you. Mulligan and Lafayette… And then I'll go fornicate with Madison…"

Peggy fell off her chair laughing. John Jay dropped his beer on Maria Reynolds, and she slapped his shoulder before helping Peggy up.

"Everyone is… laf-ing," joked Hamilton. John winced in actual, physical pain. Angelica, sitting on the couch beside the two, kicked Alex in the back.

"Okay," Eliza announced. "Thomas, it's your turn!"

"Lafay - " the 'strong noodle' began.

"New rule, courtesy of le King Herc Mull, no back and forth questioning! You two are not having a war!"

Thomas rolled his eyes but obeyed.

"Fine. Burrinmyside, truth or dare? Answer this, and then I'll go fornicate with Madison."

Burr looked hopefully around at the group, seeing if four people would take pity on him, but they all shook their heads. Dejectedly, he considered his options.

"Last time I did dare I had to draw a mustache on Theodosia. Last time I did truth I had to give a detailed account of Theodosia's and I's… activities. I pick dare, as long as it has nothing to do with Theodosia."

"Too bad!" Jefferson sang. "Invite Theodosia here! And then I'll go fornicate with Madison."

Burr visibly relaxed. "She's working tonight."

Thomas visibly swore. "Still got to text her, and then I'll go fornicate with Madison."

Burr pulled out his sleek black phone and began composing an email since normal texting was beneath The Great Burr In Your Side.

John began to sniffle, realising that Alexander wasn't Burr and he wasn't Theodosia. Hamilton sighed, endeared, and took John's hands, lightly pressing his lips to Laurens' knuckles.

The rest of the Lauren's night kind of passed in a blur from then on…

But he still managed to recall a few things. And of course, he remembered the dare that messed everything up.

For one, Theodosia had the day off and did end up coming to the party, much to Aaron's dismay - then later much to his delight.

Two, the dares that followed were spectacular. Angelica had to wear a hat of whipped cream (Hamilton punned again - saying "Aaron is whipped" - then John became melancholy again, realizing that Alex wasn't whipped either), Maria - as per her own suggestion - switched clothes with Hercules, and John Jay got stuck revising the group's five polysci essays.

Three, the truths got many juicy details out of their friends, such as, Aaron Burr actually identified as a vampire, Lafayette was born from an egg, and Alex's favorite food was 'your mom'. Their friends were such bullshitters. Maybe that's what you get from all of them being on the debate team.

And finally, that stupid, stupid, stupid dare from that stupid, stupid, stupid Alexander Hamilton.

"John Turtle Laurens, truth, dare… or challenge?" Alex inquired, voice smooth and charming, always acting the part of a perfect gentleman. Laurens was quiet for a second, contemplating. Hercules was about to interject, but Lafayette elbowed him.

"Any chance you'll tell me what the challenge is?" asked John politely.

"None at all, Johnny boy, none at all."

"May I decide to back out of the challenge?"

"At the cost of 27 of your homemade chocolate banana milkshakes, yes. And at the cost of being a complete and utter loser."

"Geez, you've thought this through!"

"Maybe…" Alex winked. John drooled. Mentally.

Laurens considered his options one final time, then looked straight into Alexander's eyes.

"Fine. I chose… challenge."

"Great!" Hamilton's eyes gleamed evilly. "I challenge you to pretend to be my boyfriend for tonight."

Complete silence fell over the group.

Then Thomas Jefferson coughed, sneezed, then hiccupped.

Then Hercules Mulligan and Lafayette coughed, sneezed, then hiccupped.

Then Eliza, Peggy, and Angelica.

Theodosia and Aaron followed, then John Jay, James Madison, and probably even Laf's cat.

Then… Alexander Hamilton coughed, sneezed, and hiccupped. And he made it freaking hot. Hawt hot.

"Welp, I guess it's decided," Herc announced. "The dare is extended to a week, if Laurens accepts."

"I guess I could take out the whole kissing part of it. Only if you really want, John, 'cuz I was pretty set on it."

Everyone stared at Alex, especially John.

"Just joking, you guys," Hamilton explained, not very jokingly. "Unless Laurens would rather have me be serious. Speaking of John, is this challenging challenge too challenging for you?"

Finally, finally, John got his voice back.

"No, no!" he spluttered. "I mean, no sex. And can someone pour me another beer, I'm going to need it. C'mon, at least a month of real dating, Hamilton. But I'll do it. The challenge. For a week. I want to. I mean, I need to. Because I'm a manly man with manliness. Man…"

The group chuckled and continued on with the game as if nothing had happened.

But for Alex and John, everything had happened.

They had tuned out to the rest of their friends and turned to each other.

"So, boyfriend, what now?" John asked. Suddenly, he noticed the forgotten alcohol cups next to the two of them. He hadn't gotten drunk at a party. Huh. That's a rarity.

"Basically, I just get to kiss you without having to explain," replied Alexander and scooted closer. John scooted away.

"Does that mean you want to kiss me?"

"Uh, yes, you're hot, I'm hot, and you seem to like the physical touching, unless I'm mistaken. In that case, I revoke everything and apologize sincerely."

"Alex. It's cool. I just wanna know if it's like… If you want a relationship with me."

"I did this so I could kiss you without explaining. Please, John. Just let it go."

Alex looked so tired and hurt and angry and upset, so Laurens took a deep breath and tried to forget about it.

"Yeah. Sorry, Alex. If you want to talk about… Anything."

"Please. Just stop. Can I kiss you now?"

John looked down at his hands. God, he was finally getting a willing Alexander to kiss him. This was what he wanted. It was supposed to be good, great, perfect. But now it almost seemed sad. Should John say no? Force Alex to explain, then explain himself, and hope for an actual kiss? Say yes and guarantee a first kiss, but one that was unlike anything Laurens had imagined?

"Yeah. I guess. Sure, go ahead." But John Laurens wasn't sure he meant it.

Alexander Hamilton leaned in.

Later, John sobbed for hours. Because he was a crybaby and fine with it. Because kissing Hamilton was amazing. Because it didn't seem like it actually happened. Alex seemed insincere, they weren't even dating, and what the hell had John done.

Still crying, John reached for his phone. He unlocked it, then scrolled through all his contacts, then scrolled back up because halfway through he had forgot what he was looking for.

Laurens found the contact labelled "The Best Loafbaguette" and punched call with his thumb. Hercules answered.

"Hey John, what's up, how did making out with Hamilton go, you two looked pretty happy, also you owe me drink money, and how do you make your pancakes so fluffy, mine go flat, hey and - "

"Hey Herc." John's voice was scratchy and dry and it was way too obvious that he'd been crying.

"Oh my gosh, John, are you alright? I'm so sorry! What can I do?" Hercules sounded worried, and Laurens could hear Lafayette's unmistakable thunderclaps of footsteps.

"Mon ami, what's wrong? Herc and I are here now, you will be alright, I promise! Want us to come over?"

"No," John managed to reply. He already felt better and a small smile snuck onto his lips. "Can we just talk? Put me on speakerphone, I need some squad advice."

Hercules obliged, and Laurens could hear the clatter of chairs being pulled up from the other end. "In squad positions. Ready to go ahead."

"It's about Hamilton," the freckled one began, curling into the couch in his living room.

"Of course it's about le petit lion," teased Laf.

"When is it not about Alex?" added Hercules.

"It's not some stupid schoolgirl crush thing anymore! I'm not panicking because he just happened to glance at me, or we ran into each other in the hallway, he didn't compliment my hair that day! We made out for a full twenty minutes, he had a hand above my knee and the other one my chest, this is serious now! For god's sake, he dared me to be his boyfriend! Can't you two just fucking listen for once!"

It was quiet for a moment, except for John's heavy breathing.

"We're sorry, John," Lafayette apologized.

"Yes, we are. Please, we'll listen now," agreed Herc.

"It's fine. I'm sorry. This is just really getting to me. Right after the challenge, I tried to talk to him about the whole situation. Alex said that he wanted to kiss me, but completely avoided the whole 'if he wants to actually be my boyfriend' thing! I'm worried that he's just trying to… to use me! He has a reputation, you know? What's going on? I couldn't take it if he just wants to be physical and that's it! I like him! A lot! I like Alex Ham a lot!"

"We know you like him. A lot. And we also know that Alex wouldn't do that to you. We've all been friends for, what, almost two years? Alex wouldn't take advantage of that." Hercules Mulligan, always the voice of reason.

"Mon ami, I can't be sure, but those eyes of his always stray to you. He is very fond of you, at the least. We all love you, John, but Alexander has a special kind just for you, I can tell." Marquis de Lafayette, always the voice of love.

"Then what do I do? Should I talk to him? Alex didn't seem like he wanted to talk. Maybe something's bothering him? Maybe he's insecure about having a more romantic relationship with a guy, but that doesn't seem like Alex. Jesus, I'm so tired of wavering over stupid Alexander Hamilton. Can't we just get together and be the sappiest and gayest couple and then get married and we can both wear suits and Herc can be the flowerboy and Laf can be best person and we can honeymoon at our new small yellow house out in the rural area with Netflix and I'll cook and he can clean and he'll write and I'll snuggle up next to him then a few years later we can adopt a cat or cats then another year later we can adopt a kid and Alex can choose the names of our 32 gay babies as long as the names are from my approved list and - " John trailed off awkwardly, brain catching up to his mouth.

"You've really got this planned out, huh?" someone said, voice muffled by a mouthful of food.

"Herc, are you eating?" teased Laurens.

"We're eating. Pancakes. They aren't as fluffy as yours. They're never as fluffy as yours," mourned Lafayette through pancake goop.

"Either way," here Herc swallowed, then continued talking "if he doesn't want to talk, don't make him talk. You know how Alex gets sometimes. I think there's only one way to do this, that is if you're comfortable doing it. Give Alex what he wants. Go beyond what he wants and get yourself some long-awaited Hamilaction. And most importantly, make it clear that you'd be his actual boyfriend, if that's what you want. Alex is probably just being stupid again, but I'm sure he'll come around if you get him time."

"Okay, so basically be really provocative. Because I'm getting the feeling he wants really provocative." John finished talking and rolled over again, knocking over the box of tissues.

"Not exactly," Laf clarified. "Oui, some provocative, but more kind. Angelic. Use sweet nicknames. Go all out. But then make, how you say, notice to how you would be his boyfriend. Not obviously. Like a spy."

"So… a stealthy, sappy, sometimes steamy spy that's also a cinnamon bun?" asked John.

"Exactly. Basically, be yourself. But unleash the gayness upon Hamilton and make his legs turn to jelly!"

"Hercules, you sound way too excited. Maybe you should pretend to be Hamilton's boyfriend instead. Ha, no, just kidding, you are not allowed to do that."

"I vote that John texts Alex now," declared Lafayette.

"Totally," Herc agreed. "Go hang out with him."

John mimed throwing up before realising that the other two couldn't see him.

"Ugh, fine. You two are way too invested in my love life." Despite what he had just said, Laurens pulled up his messages and began typing.

"We're also way too invested in your sex life. What are you gonna say?" Hercules was still eating pancakes and John was vaguely disgusted by the chewing noises.
"I don't know, Herc. Perhaps 'hi hammy, let's hang out since you drew me into the ridiculous scheme that's making me lose my mind also do you actually like me because I NEED TO KNOW IF YOU DO BECAUSE I'VE ACTUALLY HAD A REALLY SUPER GAY CRUSH ON YOU SINCE I MET YOU AND ALSO YOU SHOULD WEAR THOSE PANTS YOU WORE AGAIN BECAUSE DAAAAAMMMNNNNNNNNN'. How's that?"

"Non," yelped Laf. "Just say hello. Have a normal, yet flirting, conversation. Slowly build up to asking him to, as you say, hang out."

Laurens obeyed, sending a simple 'hey'.

"Okay, I said 'hey'. Now we wait, I guess."

"Maybe just text us now?" Herc asked. "Me and Laf kinda had plans."

"Sure, I'll be in touch. Thanks. Sorry about your plans. I'm feeling a lot better. It's just really stressful, you know?" explained John.

"No problem! Enjoy texting your challenge boyfriend!" John could practically hear the wink in Hercules voice.

"Au revoir!" And with that, Lafayette and Hercules left. John dropped his phone onto the ground and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for Alexander to respond. A few minutes later, his phone started rapping. Or rather, his phone started playing a recording of Hercules rapping. Also known as, John had a text. He snatched up his phone and unlocked it eagerly.

Alexander Hotdamnilton

Hey! Sorry that I didn't see your text, I was in the shower. Look, I feel like I made things really weird and bad between us with that stupid challenge. I… I think I want to call it off. Can you come over now? Please? Only if you aren't busy though. I really don't want you to think that I want to take advantage of you or something, because that really isn't the case. There's something that has just been bugging me and it sort of became too much and - look, please just come over. We need to talk.

John took a minute to think before responding. And another minute so it didn't seem like he'd had been waiting for Alex's text.

J-Lo

omg ham youre too formal with your texting geeeezzz but yeah i'll be over in a few minutes even though it's freaking 12 am. i think you owe me a huge explanation alexander

Another text popped up almost immediately and John grinned on instinct.

Alexander Hotdamnilton

What can I say besides I'm a fan of punctuation and capitalization. I'm lowkey scared of this 'huge explanation /alexander/ (you rarely call me that? Did I super mess up?)' stuff but I'm glad you're coming over.

Alexander Hotdamnilton

I'm really sorry though, John. I'm so mad at myself. I regret all of this, I completely messed up, ugh, I'm such a dicky mess. Please come help me. I have ice cream!

J-Lo

Awww hammy it's okayyyyyy i mean yes you sort of super messed up and maybe i've sort of been crying all night but it's nothing we can't work o- OMG ICE CREAM YOU'RE COMPLETELY FORGIVEN (not actually though) I'LL BE OVER NOW (not actually though, i need pants, and it takes a bit to walk over, but I'll keep texting)

Alexander Hotdamnilton

Aaaaaaahhhhhh, John, you are like the nicest, most cinnamon bun person I know (besides Eliza but that's only because she is the literal human incarnate of a cinnamon bun) but you can be terrifying! I'm legitimately almost shaking, the 'not actually though' is horrifying! And you've been crying all night? Oh my John Laurens, John Laurens! I'm so sorry! Arrrggg what was I thinking? Shhhiiittttttt. Please forgive me. I'll do anything. I'll be your slave. Also, you really don't need pants. I'm not wearing pants. Wait, when did I lose my pants? God. I'm a mess. Fix me. I'll even put on pants. I hope it was at least a good kiss, wait, scratch that, I hope they were at least good /kisses/. Shitdamnetc. I'm such a horrible person.

J-Lo

Alexxxxxxxxx, stop, you are NOT a horrible person! You're a great person, you're my fav person! so maybe you royally messed up but we all do it's okay i'll forgive you after a good explanation but i'm wearing pants and almost to yo hamster cage (apartment)

J-Lo

And yes they were good kisses. Very good kisses. Btw i'm outside. Now open the door before i run away embarrassed because i just admitted you were a fabulous kisser

Alexander Hotdamnilton

No, don't run away! I want to see those adorable freckles! Just cleaning up my junk, I'll be out in one second.

About a minute later, just enough time for John's blush to go away, Alex opened the door. He was wearing sweatpants, and Laurens was slightly disappointed. Then he realized that they were in this horrible situation because they had kissed, and so John was thankful that Hamilton was wearing pants. Besides, maybe one day, John could experience pantless!Alexander almost whenever he wanted.

"Oh my god, John," Alex began in place of a greeting. "You were crying! Your eyes are all red! Shit, I made John Laurens cry! Congrats, me, you have just achieved the position of being the shittest human ever."

Laurens wrapped his arms around Alex and pulled the smaller man into a hug.

"You're not the shittiest human ever. The mass murderers get that award," he whispered into the other's dark hair, then pulled away and dragged Hamilton into his home by his hand. John collapsed onto the couch, Alex falling with him. Laurens released his friend's hand reluctantly.

"Explanation time?" asked Laurens.

"Ice cream time?" countered Hamilton.

"Yasss, please!" cheered John and followed Alex to to the freezer. The former went to look for silverware, couldn't find spoons, and took two forks instead. Hamilton saw this and frowned.

"Sorry, John, I lost my last spoon and haven't bought more. Haven't had time, of course."

"It's 'kay, I can buy you some if you want. Either way, eating ice cream with a fork could be a fun challenge. Speaking of challenges…"

"One, we're so domestic that it's sad. Two, I'll explain this horribleness, I promise. Where do you want me to start?"

John sat onto the counter and took a bite of ice cream, considering the question. Alex followed suit, stealing a forkful from the carton in his friend's lap.

"Let's start easy. Why did you say it was a challenge? It could have easily been a dare."

"I don't know. More mystery? More allure? More of a… challenge?"

John stifled a laugh and gently punched Alexander's shoulder.

"God, you're too annoyingly adorable."

"You think I'm adorable?" question Hamilton, his eyes shining.

"I think you're super adorable. And a good kisser. Or rather, a good eater of faces. Since that's really more what you did."

"This is so embarrassing. I'm such a spork."

"A spork?" giggled Laurens, a drop of ice cream melting onto his shirt.

"Yes, a spork. Sporks are stupid. If spork equals stupid and stupid equals me, then me equals spork. Basic geometry, John."

"I was wrong. I think you're the most adorable. Next question?"

Hamilton grinned up at the man next to him and nodded.

"Do you have something you want to tell me?" asked John. "Or maybe that you don't want to tell me? It kind of feels like you've been hiding something important."

"Spot on as always." Hamilton paused and considered what to say. He looked tired and run down and hopeless. John's heart broke a little bit for him.

"It's going to be okay, Hammy."

"Can you promise me something, John?"

"I can try."

"Promise that we'll always be friends, no matter what I say tonight. Promise we can work anything out. Please." Alex was looking away as he said this, and John moved the other's chin so they were looking at each other.

"I promise that we'll always be friends, no matter what we say tonight. I would be a lost mess without you. I promise that we can work anything out, even you being a spork."

"You're the actual, literal, legitimate best, John."

"I know, right? Now spit it out, Alex, finally."

"So, you probably already know, but I'm bi. Pan. Whatever."

"That's totally not it, Alex. I know you. Stop being a chicken," John warned lightly, crossing his arms.

"Damn it. You're too smart. Fine. I… I like you. But I always told myself that I shouldn't act on it because you are far too good for me and I'm nowhere close to being good enough for you. And it was working. Except then we hung out more and more, and you are just intoxicating. Addicting. I felt like I couldn't breath when you weren't there. And at the party, you were all physical and it almost seemed as though you liked me. And my whole resolve just shattered. Because I'd been telling myself that I couldn't have you all day every day, I began to believe it. I panicked. Honestly. And I gave you that stupid challenge and ruined our first kiss and stole your experiences away from you and you were just so kind and you went with it and then you cried all night. I messed up. I ruined everything. God, I hate myself. Because I really like you. A lot. In a way that is not friendly. I mean, it is friendly. I don't hate you. Obviously. But it's more than friendly. In a way that is 'like, hey, you're really attractive not just physically, I know you said you were gay, do you want to be my gay boyfriend, we don't even have to do stuff or anything or even be boyfriends, basically I just really super like you and I'll shut my face now'."

John just stared at Alex, his mouth hanging slightly open.

"Uh. John. You can talk now."

Laurens slipped off the counter and continued staring.

"Really, feel free to say something in the next few years."

Still nothing from John.

"I was being a smart Alex just then."

Silence.

"Nothing? I thought maybe a bad pun would get you. I guess not. Hey, you're just scaring me now."

Laurens finally closed his mouth, but speaking was still beyond his current capabilities.

"So. Passing the time. Let's share some fun facts about me, the great Alexander 'Spork' Hamilton. I completely messed up my only chance at a possible relationship with the most amazing guy ever. I like cats better than dogs. I like writing better than cats. Sometimes I steal Laf's nail varnish and paint my toenails black and recently I've been considering painting my fingers as well. I had a dream that I was a box last night. I don't have a Twix side preference because they are the same freaking - "

"Alexander Hamilton has a crush on me."

"Ah. He speaks. Yes, I do."

"Alexander Hamilton has a crush on me."

"Yep." Alex popped the 'p' and grinned nervously.

There was another minute of silence.

"Holy shit," John managed.

"'Holy shit' indeed."

"Hey Alex, on a scale of one to America, how free are you Friday night?"

"Hey John, more free than the fucking couch on the curb outside. Also, you must be the national debt, because my interest in you is growing."

"I can't even handle you right now, Hamilton."

"I can't even handle you right now, Laurens."

Then suddenly, John's phone went off, interrupting their conversation. He looked to Hamilton apologetically, then pulled out the device. New text message.

Jerkules

Hey J-lo whats up? Is everything still okay you didn't text us back. You at Hams? (Bonjour! It's Laf, how is my advice working?)

"What was Lafayette's advice?" questioned Alex, head resting on Laurens' shoulder so he could read the message.

"Stupid," shot back John, writing a text as he spoke.

"Not as stupid as me. What was it?"

" I called Herc and Laf when I was still crying over you. They said that I should play along with your challenge and give you more than what you wanted so you would actually ask me out when the dare ended."

"How is that stupid?" asked Alex.

"I was supposed to… seduce you or something. And use nicknames all the time."

"I repeat, how is that stupid?"

"Alex! I'm not doing that!" protested John, a blush emerging. Hamilton hummed happily.

"Of course, the innocent John Laurens would never seduce anyone."

"Not so innocent anymore! You've already defiled my face enough," teased Laurens.

"May I 'defile' it again?" returned Alexander.

"Hm, nope! You've forgotten one important question. Come on, use that clever mind of yours."

"Oh, truly sorry, my dear Laurens. Would you bestow upon me the great honor of being my beloved?" Alex smiled and John smiled back.

"Hella yes, Alex! I have been waiting for you to ask that for way too long! I mean, I wasn't waiting for you to word it like a creepy old man, but good enough."

"Ha. I'm really glad, John. This would have been pretty awkward if you had said 'hella' no."

John's phone buzzed again and Hamilton looked at it.

"Should you text them the news?" asked Alex.

"They probably wouldn't believe me."

"What about a picture?"

John looked over at Hamilton, who smirked. The former pulled up the camera and held it in position.

"Keep it PG-13, Hamilton."

"I always keep it PG-13, Laurens."

"You never keep it PG-13. Come on, pose for the picture. I am a weakling and my hand is tired."

"Don't fret, your valiant knight Hamilton is coming to save you, riding his black stallion, leading a battalion!"

Alexander leaned in, pressing his lips to John's cheek, and flipped the camera off. John snapped the picture, laughing. A moment after it was sent to the party group chat, responses came flooding in.

Burrinyourside: theo says congrats i say eff off it's 1 am (he means congratulations you two are adorable ;);3 - theodosia)

Angelicawerks: Called it called it called it! Happy for you two, have fun tonight! ;D

Jamesmads: I should be angry at you too for waking me up but honestly i'm too glad that i don't have to deal with the sexual tension anymore

Jamesmads: (it's thommy jeffs) ^^^^ well put mads, congrats u 2 tho except now we're going to have to deal with them being cuttteeeeeee blerg

Eliza'shelplessatchats: would do emojis but i still don't know how, i'm so proud of you two! My platonic husband and my fellow cinnabun finally getting together! So cute! Ps dearest hubby that finger ruins the whole thing! I can't even see the actual kiss! Pps John dearest get that ice cream off your shirt you look like a child and adorable one though *happy face* STUPID EMOJIS i love you twooo

Andpeggy: I ship itttttttttttttt otttpppppppppppp I CANT EVEN :0;0 333 LAMS IT'S OFFICIAL THE SHIP NAME IS LAMS L FOR LAURENS S FOR LAURENS AM FOR HAMMY IN THE MIDDLE IT'S A HAM SANDWICH LOAFENS IS THE BREAD

PubliusJay: so the dare's going good i take it

Lafbaguette: You idiot John the second, it's not the dare anymore they're fornicat- i'm sorry i mean DATING congrats again Alexander and you are welcome mon ami John for the advice

HERCFMULL: aaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

HERCFMULL: told you John you'd get the lion eventually wish you two the best of luck and demand deets tomorrow

justTRYtosaynotomaria: so alex is off the market… such a shame. JUST KIDDING PEGGY AND JOHN sorry either way super congrats to both members of lams y'all looking finneee

J-Lo changed name to Alex's -

Alex's: Thanks everyone, love you too (excluding everyone besides Eliza). Stupid Alex finally got his mess together and asked me out O_0! He's also making me "write like a normal person". Pft. Idiot. Loveable idiot.

Hotdamnilton changed name to John's -

John's: *kiss*

HERCFMULL: *unanymous cringegrimace*

John looked up from his phone and nudged Alex.

"Want to turn that electronic kiss into a real one?" offered Laurens.

"Fucking of course," responded Alex, already moving in.

Maybe stupid dares from stupid Alexander Hamilton weren't so bad after all.

The few days after the game of Truth or Dare, Thomas told everyone - well, I say "told" - that he had a cold and lost his voice. For a whole week. Everyone attending the party knew this was untrue and that Jefferson was just avoiding adding "and then I'll go fornicate with Madison" to his speech. Some truths were just never uttered aloud…