Forfeit to succeed

"Next match: Bruck Chun and Obi-Wan Kenobi! Please step forward. Are you ready?"

"I forfeit this match, Master."

"Initiate, are you sure?"

"Yes, I know I should not fight now."

"Are you that scared, Oafy-Wan? I thought you wanted to impress Master Jinn. Realized how hopeless you are, huh?"

"No."

"The winner of this match is Initiate Chun."

"Obi-Wan, why are you doing this? This was your last chance, you said so yourself yesterday!"

"Fighting this match would not help me find a master, Bant."

"Have you given up? Don't be stupid now and go back there! All this training..."

"No, I won't."

In contrast to the busy hum only a few hours ago, quietness had once more claimed the vast halls of the Jedi Temple. The Force still echoed faintly with the excitement of the tournament that had been held in the afternoon. As it was common, most Jedi in the Temple had attended, to see their friends compete, meet with colleagues seldom seen or consider taking on a youngling as their apprentice. Apprehension and concentration laced the air as the young hopefuls' lightsabers clashed. Feet, sure and steady or hasty, nearly tipping danced across the arena ground.

And every time, the event offered the thrill of surprising news, when a contestant displayed unexpected behaviour.

The talk of this tournament was Obi-Wan Kenobi. He was well know among his peers as a talented swordsman and stood out in other subjects with a keen mind and good recollection. Before, in other tournaments, he had always placed well and his academic report card gave reason for recommendation. Once, arrogance was his fault, but ever since Grand Master Yoda had taken a special interest in him, he came to be more humble, volunteering for the most tedious and boring tasks.

What confused many in the Temple was that so far no master had approached him. In only weeks he would turn thirteen and his Jedi career would be forfeit. And until now it promised to be a bright one. Talk had begun to stir among the younger students that the Masters obviously saw something that disqualified him for an apprenticeship. Insecurity ran wild and those meaning ill spread rumours about an involvement with the dark side.

Those who knew him saw the barely concealed worry and increasing nervousness the closer his birthday came. He had trained unrelentingly for months, working himself harder than ever. Frustration was harshly reigned in whenever something did not work out the way he wanted. Everything would be worth his efforts, when he would fight in that tournament, win and impress a Master.

And now, when the day had finally been there, he had stepped up and declared his forfeit to the fully packed arena of Jedi. Giving no reason, he had left the mats and returned to his seat, cheering for his friends that had their matches after him just as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He did not appear upset, not in the least. Instead, he had displayed a calm expression the whole afternoon, smoothly sidestepping every question.

Now he was probably resting in his room in the initiates' wing, leaving the rest of the Jedi wondering. A few of them were wandering through the nearly deserted gardens, their voices mere murmurs, easily lost in the dark.

Qui-Gon Jinn was one of them, but he had yet to speak up, preferring to ponder the latest events silently. He had been forced to attend that forsaken tournament by Master Yoda and, being there, only felt resentment towards the hopeful faces craning their necks in his direction. As far as he was concerned, his presence was simply unnecessary, maybe even contraproductive. He remembered his gaze drifting over the benches filled with children of every species, awaiting their fight and could even recall the ball of nervous energy that seemed to be the Kenobi boy.

When the fight had been called, the boy had stood up and for a spilt second their gazes had met. And Qui-Gon had seen how the green-grey eyes had transformed. He had recognized how the nervous hope had been replaced by understanding. Of what, he didn't know. The room was too packed with Force-users to get a read on his signature and for the world, he could not grasp what had ridden the boy to decline the fight. Yoda had told him how eager he had been, spoken of his talent and good chances for victory. Why deny himself the chance to appeal to a Master?

He tuned back in to the conversation going on around him.

"Do you think he had a vision?", asked Adi Gallia next to him.

"In that situation? Hardly.", Mace Windu replied. "He is known to experience visions now and then, but usually during meditation or through dreams. Just before the fight he was banking his way of life on?"

"Maybe he had a nervous breakdown. The poor one worked himself into the ground. I haven't seen such a dedicated initiate in ages. Such stress must break a child eventually." Qui-Gon personally thought Adi's theory very probable.

"I don't think so." It was Cin Drallig, who disagreed. "I have worked with him a lot in the last few months, he's very different when panicking. Today was something else." Anoon Bondara, who had also instructed him, nodded along. The boy's actions were just as much an enigma as hours earlier. His dedication to compete had been so fierce before.

"Has he explained himself?", Qui-Gon spoke up, slightly annoyed by the repetitive conversation. He didn't even know why he was here, included in that group of Masters, who obviously cared about the boy.

Mace shook his head.

"I know Clan Master Vant approached him directly, but Kenobi asked if the conversation could be postponed, because he wanted to celebrate that one of his classmates found a master today." The five Jedi fell into silence and continued their slow trek along the wide gravel paths.

A voice reached their ears and they were drawn to the edge of the forest, opening the view to a clearing with a small pond. They concealed their presence to observe quietly, because sitting there was the very subject of their talk, obviously lost to the world as he spoke soothingly to a small Kashki. The scaly creature was maybe a foot long, its slim body resting atop a rock. The blue, turquoise and silver scales reflected in the dim light, the two tails twitching lazily. The species was notoriously shy, their presence in the garden a secret to many because they were seen so rarely. But as Obi-Wan murmured soothingly, it moved its six legs to climb atop the boys outstretched hand. It rubbed its small head on his fingers and then climbed further, finally completely on his arm, resting the head on his shoulder.

Qui-Gon, astounded, reached out with the Force to find out how the boy was doing it, but he did not seem to manipulate the animal, only talking to it. A natural gift with animals maybe?

Obi-Wan stroked the back with gentle fingers, coming back dusted in silver colour. He chuckled.

"You're a funny guy. Bant will ask me again whether I stole Siri's make-up." He sighed then and shuffled back slightly to lean against a nearby tree. "What a day."

Despite himself, Qui-Gon's heart went out to the boy, who appeared exhausted.

"What do you think is more important?", he asked the reptile. "Becoming a Jedi or following the way of the Force?"

"Know the answer to this question, you do already.", came the voice of the Grand Master across the clearing. The initiate looked up, but Qui-Gon noted there was no surprise on his face.

"Good evening, Master Yoda.", he greeted with a nod that struck Qui-Gon as almost informal. The small master paid it no mind.

"Introduce me to your friend, will you?" Yoda made his way towards the strange pair and settled down next to them. To Qui-Gon's surprise the Kashki remained on the initiate's arm.

"I met him last year and after much debate we settled on his name to be Meume. It means turquoise in an old Nubian language."

"Debate you did? Yes yes and listen well you did." Yoda smirked amusedly and let his gaze wander over the surrounding foliage. It paused a moment on the group of Jedi Masters and he winked before returning his attention to the boy who had dug some berries from his pocket and fed them to Meume. To Qui-Gon he seemed very different from the nervous boy who had anticipated his match or the resolute young man who had left the floor defeated without trying.

"Young Obi-Wan, your peers, say what they do to your loss?"

"I did not lose.", Obi-Wan calmly stated. "Actually I believe I won, Master Yoda."

The old troll had a spark of knowing amusement in his eyes.

"Explain.", he prodded further nonetheless and Qui-Gon had the feeling it was for the unseen spectators' benefit. All of a sudden he felt like a youngling in Yoda's lessons again and in the way he felt Mace shift next to him, he surmised he felt the same.

"I was thinking. I am so afraid of not becoming a Jedi that I forgot what it's all about. To not be controlled by fear. When I got up from my seat today, I realized that me fighting this match was simply a way to keep that fear at bay." He paused for a moment and looked to the floor ashamed. "But in the end, I was only running away from the Will of the Force. And if I am afraid of what the Force says I should do, I shouldn't be a Jedi anyway. So in that moment I listened and it said that if I wanted to follow the Jedi Way, this match would not help me." He looked up shyly. "I'm sorry if I disappointed you, Master Yoda. You have done so much for me and I know that you even convinced Master Jinn to attend."

The silence after his speech was deafening. Qui-Gon heard Mace notably exhale and he himself felt like he had received a punch in the gut.

"Not sorry you should be. Well done you have. Maybe listen to your advice as well I should.", Yoda mused. Obi-Wan was immediately starting to protest.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to sound so lecturing!" His voice became frantic and the Kashki on his arm twitched nervously.

"Still, Obi-Wan. Wise you are, and not too old I am to recognize wisdom even if not my own it is." Yoda placed a clawed hand on the boy's arm.

"It's only because I had so many teachers to instruct me." And even humble, Qui-Gon thought and found himself smiling.

"Go to bed now you should. Classes you have tomorrow." The adults watched as Obi-Wan released Meume and bowed to Master Yoda before he left the clearing to head to his room. The masters waited a moment before they openly joined Yoda.

"Well, that was unexpected.", Mace said after a few minutes of silent contemplation.

"Maybe, maybe not.", Yoda muttered mysteriously.

It was several days later and to his own surprise, Qui-Gon had still not left the Temple for his next mission per his own desire. He spent a lot of that time meeting old friends and reacquainting himself to Temple life. He had made a point of socialising more and breaking the bad habit of being too reclusive. The rewards were almost instantaneous and he revelled in the hours spent among his fellow Jedi. The restlessness he had felt before had diminished somewhat and he felt more balanced than in a long time wandering the halls.

At the end of the vast corridor, he spotted spotted the boy that had been on everyone's mind lately. He was accompanied by four other children, each carrying a box and chatting.

Qui-Gon stopped and waited until they approached.

"Good morning, Master Jinn.", Obi-Wan greeted politely and the others followed suit.

"Good morning, busy today, I see?", Qui-Gon inquired.

"Yes, a friend is moving into her new Master's quarters today and we agreed to help her. This is the last run, she's already over there, unpacking." The group had started moving again during the explanation, not particularly nervous around the Master.

"I can't see any more boxes.", the Mon Calamari next to Kenobi complained.

"Well, if it's the last load, it'll be over soon.", Qui-Gon soothed amusedly. The girl looked at him oddly.

"Haven't you heard, Master Jinn? Obi here is moving, too."

Indeed, the master had not heard that. Of course there had been a lot of rumours about the initiate, but so far nothing about him leaving the initiates' dorms. He shot a look at him to check if his face revealed that he was prematurely shipped to Bandomeer. The boy's expression was serene though.

"No, I haven't. What will your next destination be, Initiate Kenobi?" If the boy found his interest strange, he didn't show it. Now that Qui-Gon looked closer he saw that Kenobi's hair had been freshly cut and that behind his ear, a small lock of hair was peeking out. Too short to be really braided yet, but already tied with a small ribbon. Before Obi-Wan could open his mouth to answer, the Jedi Master spoke again.

"I see that congratulations are in order, Padawan Kenobi."

"Thank you, Master Jinn."

"I'm sure you will make your new master very proud."

The boy's cheeks turned slightly pink and he smiled, while his friends chuckled quietly. A tok-tok-tok noise neared and as the group turned another corner, there stood the Grand Master.

"Embarrass my new Padawan, do you, Qui-Gon?", he asked with a laughing glint in his eyes.

For a minute Qui-Gon was speechless. But in the end, he thought later as he walked to meet Tahl for lunch, who could refute the fact that Yoda was the very first one to see that Obi-Wan Kenobi was going to be a great Jedi.

Dear Readers, I hope you like my little story. I was inspired by for one, Obi-Wan's talent with animals and secondly, the bond he seems to share with Yoda. I have stumbled across a story or two, where Qui-Gon is not Obi-Wan's Master and I wanted to write my own little piece. So far this will stand alone, but you never know when the muse will strike again. Take care everyone, Cold Moon