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Cassie Clare owns TMI.

Just the Thought of It

Chapter 8 – We'll Get There

I didn't even bother to change from my over-sized shirt that made it look like I wasn't wearing shorts. I wore my flip-flops and hurriedly went to our spot. I made a short trip to the kitchen to have a glass of water since my throat felt so dry. Thankfully, there was no one there. The house was uncharacteristically quiet. The older ones must have gone to bed early.

As usual I was using my phone as a flashlight so I wouldn't trip on anything. I didn't know why I was feeling nervous. I had planned what I wanted to say before going here but now my mind seemed to be going blank.

When I got to our usual hangout place, I found him staring up at the sky with his headphones on. He looked very relaxed as he gazed up at the stars which were on full appearance tonight. He loved stargazing and watching stars fall, it was the main reason he liked it here. The darker it was, the more the stars were visible and you would be amazed at how many stars actually fall every night.

As quietly as I could, I sat beside him.

He noticed me instantly and he took his headphones off.

No words would come out of my mouth and all I could do was stare at his beautiful angelic face. How could you not fall for someone as handsome and charming as he was? Now I could see what Seb was talking about. The way his eyes bore into mine was as if he was seeing something more, like my soul.

"You heard the song?" he asked quietly.

I nodded. The mention of the song made my chest hurt because it reminded me of what we couldn't have.

"What do you think of it? Did you like it?" he didn't even sound nervous and there wasn't any hesitation in his voice as he spoke.

I nodded again. I have officially lost the ability to speak.

"Clary, are you okay?" Worry spread across his face when I didn't say a word again. Honestly, I felt like I was going to cry if I opened my mouth.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked, finally finding my voice which was trembling.

"Because I can't hide it anymore. I lo—"

"Don't, please don't. I shouldn't feel this way for you, but you're making it too hard." I looked down because I couldn't handle the pain in his eyes.

He caught the first tear that fell from my right eye using his thumb. I couldn't help it. I was bawling my eyes out again.

I thought I could do it, that I could let him go, but I couldn't. I wasn't worried about breaking my heart in the process, but breaking his. I didn't realize how strong my feelings for him were until now.

He cupped my cheeks with his hands and they felt really comforting and warm. His touch ignited a part of my heart I didn't know existed.

"Clary, you have no idea how happy I actually felt years ago when I knew you liked me, because I've liked you too. But you were too young and it was wrong. We might not be related, but I was considered a part of the family. You were still my niece and I was still your uncle. My cousins would be appalled and your parents would hate me. The whole family would hate me and I was afraid because they were all I had. This family is where I felt I truly belong and I was accepted though I was just not blood related to them. They saved me from going to a foster home." He spoke softly, but his emotions were intense. "I avoided you at all costs so you would think that I didn't like you. I distanced myself from you, hoping my feelings would go away. And then I met Camille who made me experience things I hadn't even thought of trying. She distracted me from all my problems and she always made me laugh. I pictured her as the woman wanted to settle down with. I—I thought I loved her and I was a mess when she left. But now, I realized that I was with her because she was nothing like you and at that time I thought anyone that didn't remind me of you was safe. She was safe, but she wasn't what I really wanted."

"You're not blood related to them? But your mother is Grandma's sister," I said, confused.

"I'm not. I was Mom's friend's son. She just became my legal guardian since I didn't have any relatives left. My real parents died in a plane crush when I was twelve. Mom's husband hated me but she loved me as her own son and chose me that was why he left. That man was a drunkard anyway so we didn't need him in our lives."

"I'm sorry I didn't know," I whispered. I placed my hands on top of his.

"What I'm saying is, it's okay for us to feel like this. I'm tired of denying myself from what I really wanted. I love you, Clary," he said, sincerely.

There, he finally said it. Everything felt a hundred more times real now. But still, this would create a problem not only with our family but also with our careers.

"I still don't think we can do this," I mumbled.

"Why? We're adults now, we could decide on our own. We—"

"Are known people, Jace, especially you. If the media knew you were having a relationship with your supposed niece, it might ruin your career. You know how stupid some people are now and how they could twist the real story even if you explain the truth to them," I explained.

"I don't care. They can suck up all the gossip they make."

"But what if everything goes wrong? I don't you to sacrifice anything just for me. You make such good music. It would be a waste—"

"Clary, do you love me?" he interjected.

"Yes," I answered without realizing.

"Then stop freaking caring about what hasn't happened yet. I really want this—us to work. I've never felt anything like this for anyone." I understood what he was saying. I thought my love for Raphael was strong, but this was another level. My heart felt so full like it would explode from happiness and love.

"What do we tell them?"

"We'll figure it out when we get there. For now, just trust me, okay?" There was something in his voice that made me believe that everything would really be alright.

"Okay."

He brought my face closer to his and I closed my eyes as I knew what was going to happen next. My heart was pounding with anticipation. I could feel his warm breath on my lips. I surprised him leaning closer so our lips would finally touch. The sensation was intoxicating and addicting. It was like once you had the taste of it, you would always want it…crave it. I felt like I was in a place and time where only the two of us existed.

"How do we stop?" he asked when we pulled apart for air.

I grinned, my eyes still closed. "I don't know. Do we have to?"

"God, I can't get enough of you," he said before attacking my lips again.

I could say the same.

"Clary, where were you last night? You weren't in the room when we came back." Louise said curiously when I got back to our room after taking a shower.

"I was outside," I answered which was quite truthful.

"That late? We went to bed at 1 am and you were nowhere to be found."

"I was writing," I lied.

"But your laptop was on your bed."

"On a notebook."

"Your lips look weird. It's like swollen. Is that an allergic reaction or something?" she asked, walking closer to me to examine what she found strange.

I backed away. "Maybe it was the new lip balm I bought," I lied again.

"You should put some ice—"

"Please, can we just go down for breakfast? I'm starving," I interrupted her before she could ask more questions. Apparently, being stubborn ran in the blood.

I went downstairs with Louise not even bothering to blow dry my still damp hair. I haven't anything since last night and my stomach was grumbling.

The others were already eating when we got there. As usual, there was a feast on the table. Sebastian's plate was overflowing with waffles and bacon that he kept stuffing his mouth with. I sat beside my brother and started filling my own plate with food.

I was about to take my first bite when Jace who was also freshly showered entered the room. He was in a white tank top that showed his tattoo-covered arms with black cargo shorts. Our gazes met and his lips lifted up to form a breathtaking smile which I couldn't help but return.

"Jace, can you go for a quick trip the grocery? We're having a barbecue later for dinner and we're missing some stuff. I've listed everything, I'll just give it to you, later," Grandma said to Jace who was taking a sip from his orange juice.

"Sure, I have a short meeting anyway so I need to leave for a bit," Jace answered, raising an eyebrow at me and I totally knew what he meant.

"Can I come? I need to pick up some girl things. TMI, but my period came, it's the reason I was feeling bad yesterday. Unfortunately I don't think I have enough stuff to prevent the…uh…leakage. I use a specific brand so I really need to head to the store." My long explanation definitely caught my brother's attention as he was staring at me weirdly.

"Are you sure? I have to go somewhere first, you might get bored," Jace played along.

"I could give you a ride," Sebastian suggested.

"No, I think I'll be fine with Jace. It would be a short meeting anyway, right?"

"Yeah, like only thirty minutes max," Jace answered.

Sebastian gave me a knowing look but I brushed it off. I knew he knew something was going on and he would do everything to find out what it was.

The others didn't seem to be paying attention at us as they were occupied talking about a cooking show that our aunts and uncles were obsessed about.

After breakfast, I helped with clearing the table. It was just Jace, Sebastian and I who were left to do the chores. I was getting annoyed that Sebastian kept looking at me and the things I was doing. He was observing me so obviously to annoy me and show that he was right, that there was indeed something going on between me and Jace.

Jace and I talked about last night how we would break the news to the family that we were together. I wasn't even sure what we were since he didn't exactly ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Not that I think labels were a big deal, but I just wanted to know what we should call ourselves. We agreed to tell everyone when we both feel like we were ready and now was not the time.

"You two, spill the beans already. You keep giving each other lingering gazes, like you were talking with each other with your minds," Sebastian finally exploded.

"There's nothing to tell," I replied, wiping the table though it was already clean just to avoid Sebastian's burning stare.

I looked at Jace, but I couldn't read his face.

"Jace, man, I know there's something between you and my sister—"

"Would you lower your voice?" I hissed at my brother.

Seb smirked. "See, you're admitting it."

"I haven't said anything!" I argued.

Jace who was across me, said, "We are not doing anything wrong. We're not related."

"If you make my sister happy, then I can't do anything about that. I just want to let you know that if she cries again because of a guy, I would beat you to a pulp."

Seb gave me an assuring look and then left the dining room. I was sure that he wasn't going to tell Mom or the others. He wasn't that kind of person.

"I'm sorry for that," I told Jace.

"It's okay. He was just being a good brother. I promise I won't do anything to hurt you," Jace said sincerely.

I would've kissed him if there wasn't a chance that anyone could walk in on us.

Turned out the meeting that Jace was talking about was non-existent. He just made the excuse so he could spend more time with me without being suspicious.

I laid my head on his shoulder as he drove his black Range Rover. The drive to the grocery was calm, there was soft music playing, and we kept stealing kisses from each other. We couldn't seem to wipe away the smile from our faces which was insane.

Before we left the car, he looked around for traces of paparazzi. Thankfully it appeared that there was none, but we still had to be careful. There might be fans who might take pictures. Jace was wearing a hoodie to hide his signature messy but beautiful locks.

Lucky for us, the store was pretty much deserted. We've been keeping a safe distance from each other the whole time we were loading the cart so I was shocked when he suddenly took my hand. We were in a deserted aisle of cleaning materials.

He placed his hand on my cheek and leaned down to kiss me softly.

"Someone might see us," I said, laughing through the kiss.

He didn't say anything. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up so we were almost the same height. My arms were around his neck and our faces were just inches apart.

At that moment, nothing else mattered, just that we were now sure of what we felt for each other.

Any guesses on what'll happen on the next chap?

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Thank you for reading!

-Ishi :)