Jaded by ambivalence

By: GoldAlchemy

Disclaimer

I sadly do not own Harry Potter; those copyrights belong to J.K, and will not be used for financial benefits. This Fan Fiction, is purely for entertainment purposes.

Chapter 1: Endings and beginnings Part 1

Severus Snape sat in Spinners End, clutching his N.E.W.T results in his hands. All Outstanding results, yet no one to share his success with. Both his parents had died in the year of 1978, the same year he started his 17th year. Having only just finished Hogwarts, 18 years old, and a Death Eater. He was not greatly involved, as Severus was neither wealthy, a pureblood or had any connections. He would be involved in various attacks, which would happen, however, Severus would not attend many. After being branded he thought he would rise with his friends, however, this he soon learned would not happen.

Lily had always told him to leave the Dark Arts alone, but he couldn't. There was something so alluring and promising, that he just couldn't stop, he realised as he sat alone taking in his marks, that he had truly lost her and was truly alone. Once he told Avery and Mulciber that he wanted to go to University to get a degree in Potions mastery, they just laughed at him. In the wizarding world, not many people chose to go to University. However, amongst academics, University was a highly prestigious alternative to an internship.

In Severus' other hand, he held an acceptance letter to All Hallows University.

{Congratulations Mr. Severus Snape} it read.

{You have been awarded a scholarship for your exceptional performance in your N.E.W.T Potions, Herbology and Defence against the dark arts…. A scholarship for a dual degree in Potions & Alchemy}

Instead of sharing this momentous moment with family, Severus stood in front of the Dark Lord slightly trembling.

"Ah Sseverus, it has come to my attention that you have been offered a full time scholarship to attend the prestigious All Hallows University. Explain yourself."

Voldemort said in firm dangerous tone.

"Yes my lord. I thought that by going to University I would be able to learn more about the art of potion making. I would be able to use this knowledge to aid our cause, my lord." Severus said in a slightly trembling voice. Severus had made a bad decision by joining the dark lord, and was trying to escape torturing and killing muggles and blood traitors, by being otherwise preoccupied.

Voldemort knew of Severus' great aptitude in potions, therefore commended this approach, and rewarded Severus by giving him 2000 Galleons to spend on equipment needed for University, as well as for Severus' new job for the dark lord. Severus would be allowed to miss all raids, in return for him coming up with new lethal potions. However, Severus preferred making potions, than physically killing a muggle.

Severus went to bed that night with one less worry, yet a million others. He felt depressed lying in bed thinking of his failed friendships, he hoped, however, that University would be kinder than the troublesome teens at Hogwarts. Severus didn't know this yet, but then next 4 years of University were going to be jaded with ambivalence.

One Week Later

Severus walked down Diagon Alley on an early crispy Thursday morning, in search for equipment he would need for University. The same equipment as Hogwarts seemed to be on the list, just better quality and with slightly more features. He thanked Merlin for the extra money that he was given by the dark lord, as his parents had left him with nothing but an old decrepit home.

Having bought all of his equipment, he went inside of Madame Malkins in search of new clothes. He had been ridiculed as a child for his mismatched clothes; well this was going to change. He was going to start University afresh, a new wardrobe for a new life.

Severus then went to Gringotts and exchanged some galleons into pounds. Using said pounds, he went into the local supermarket in Cokeworth and bought a loaf of bread along with various vegetables. That alone would be enough to sustain him for the next 2 days, before leaving for University.

As he shuffled through the brightly lit aisles, he bumped into a lady with a shopping trolly.

"Oh sorry…. Mrs. Evens." Severus was trying to act calm. He had not seen lily's mother before their fight happened . However by the way that Violet was looking at him, it was clear to Severus, that Lily must not have said anything about their falling out.

" How are you dear? I haven't seen you in years. Well, you certainly have grown, mhmm. How does it feel, leaving Hogwarts?"

"Ah, strange, definitely strange."

"I'm so sorry dear. Lily told me about your parents, both of your parents. You were still not of age when they died, what did you do? Oh, I'm sorry dear I shouldn't have brought that up. At least you are being productive, shopping for food I see."

"Yes, just a little bit before I leave" Severus cringed as he said that last word.

"Leave? Where on earth are you going? A trip maybe? You do deserve it, always studying Lily said." Mrs. Evens said with concern

"Oh, um, I'm actually going to University, I know that now many wiz…. People of my kind go, but it's going to be a good opportunity for me to further my skills….."

Not knowing what else to say and trying to make a run for it, Severus said his farewells and quickly strode to the cashier. However, Mrs. Evens was having none of it.

"No, No, you must come back to our home. Lily, I am sure will be thrilled to know of your news."

"Oh, no, no really, I must be getting home, I need to feed my owl."

"Nonsense, I saw your owl flying about outside; well I think it was your owl. Oh never mind! I am making your favourite meal, and I insist you come,"

Severus was absolutely freaking out, what would lily say? Should he make a run for it? He was walking arm in arm with Lily's mother, not listening to her excited blabbering. He had not properly spoken to Lily in over a year, snide remarks in the hallways yes, but not a proper conversation.

Severus stepped up to their manicured lawn in a set of new clothes he bought that very same day. Lily's mother opened the door to her home, and practically pushed Severus through the door.

Severus continued to say that he did not want to intrude, but Violet was having non of it.

"Lily I'm home!"

"Well, Shit!" Severus thought as he heard Lily bounding down the stairs.

"What took you so long mum, I thought you had….."

It was an eerie silence, as both Severus and Lily looked into each other eyes. The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife. Lily looked to her mother in question, for what this specific guest was doing in the house.

To be continued J

Review and tell me about your thoughts so far. I have written a story plan so I intend to finish this story till the end. The next chapter will continue on from where this chapter left off. However, the purpose of this and the following chapter is to finish Snape's past, in connection with Hogwarts and Lily.

Part 3 & 4 (Chapter 3 & 4) Will be written about a new character, non-HP compliant, and her story. I won't say much about this character. However, Alexandra Burke will play a major part in Severus Snape's near and distant future.

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