A/N: Sorry for the long as shit delay, I lost motivation to write and I came across writers block, but I'm back. Anyways, so I'm probably gonna get a few eye rolls or some exasperated sighs, but this story will jump back and forward in time every chapter, if that makes sense. Last chapter was about Hikigaya in the hospital, this chapter takes place a few months after. Next chapter will be a continuation of the 1st chapter and the 4th chapter will continue this chapter. Each chapter will have hints as to what the next chapter will be. Also, obvious AU and the plot will stray from the original a lot. Enjoy.
The bat weilding Yukinoshita Yukino
Yukinoshita Yukino is not a nice girl.
Most people would probably snort at that statement. Yukinoshita Yukino? Not nice?
"Surely you're mistaken. How could the Yukinoshita Yukino, the top role model student in school, not be nice?" The students would ask.
I'd reply with a simple:
"Don't call me Shirley "
Or, "Don't be silly, Hikigaya. Yukinoshita is a wonderful pupil and the #1 example of a good responsible student" The teachers would say.
Again, I'd reply with this:
"Please don't fail me in Math"
But it's not as if the students and teachers, other than Hirastuka-sensei, would talk to me and me to them. Most people don't talk to me or even notice me (Which I'm totally cool with).
The only people who talk to me on a day to day basis are the ones listed in my handy dandy notebook:
List of people I talk to (This isn't weird, I swear)
1. Yui- My girlfriend (Kinda a given that she talks to me)
2. Fat Chunni AKA Zaimokuza- Tech rat who sometimes helps me. Note: Do NOT hang out with this guy.
3. Bitchy Bitch AKA Sagami (Still owes me after what I did for her)
4. Hirastuka-sensei- Lonely teacher who I'll probably end up marrying (Just kidding... I hope)
5. Fakey McGee AKA Hayama (This guy's a piece of shit)
6. Motorcycle AKA Kawasaki (Brocon)
7. Sweet Angel AKA Totsuka
And that's about it. I don't socialize with others very often, much to the charign of my little sister. I keep telling Komachi that I talk to a lot of people (Six is too many for me), but she doesn't believe me.
I hope she hasn't found that notebook, too. It's got a lot of important stuff.
Either way, she shouldn't believe me, especially after that stunt I pulled a last month. Komachi's been doubting me ever since, but she still looks out for me. Which I think is really sweet of her. She worries about my social and love life. Heck, she already handled my love life with Yui, now she wants to better my social life.
Anyways, where was I? Oh, right. Yukinoshita Yukino is not a nice girl. How do I know this? Simple. Let me tell you of the time Yukinoshita came to my house about a week ago.
Knock... Knock... Knock...
Huh? The hell's knocking on the door? It better not be Yui, I already told her I don't like going on dates during Sundays. Sundays are a sacred day for me. My favorite day in fact. And my most hated. Favorite because of the fact that it's my wonderful day off. And it's my most hated because I have school the very next day. Total bullshit, I'd say.
Knock Knock Knock
Is it Elsie? Knowing her she'd probably knock instead of just floating through the door and giving me a heart attack by scaring me.
"Coming! Jesus Christ" I yelled
I swung me feet over to the floor from the couch I was peacefully laying on and stood up with a slight jolt. My back was as straight as a toothpick and I fixed it by hunching over a bit. I got terrible posture, really bad. Probably not good for me to hunch over intentionally. Though it is cute when I straighten my back as Yuigahama comes in for a kiss, seeing her confused face for a second sends a bit of joy through me. Don't tell her that.
I grabbed the remote control from the couch and clicked a button to turn off the TV. Whoever the heck this person is just stopped me from watching my favorite anime.
Letting out a disturbing sounding sigh, I walked over to the door while hanging my head as if in defeat. I got to the door and without bothering to look through the peephole, opened the door. Huh, quite the sight.
In front of me in all her glory is Yukinoshita Yukino. The Ice Queen of Sobu High, the number one student in the entire school. Queen Bee this girl is. Well, I guess that title belongs to Miura. Wait, isn't she also called The Fire Queen? Huh, wonder if these two would duke it out. I'd pay good money to see that.
Anyways, Yukinoshita Yukino is quite the sight, I tell ya. Long silky black hair. Big crystal blue eyes. Soft pale white skin that goes well with her big blue eyes. Perfectly sized lips that are a pretty shade of pink. Tall and slender- wow, she's flat chested. Huh, I guess Yuigahama spoiled me a bit with her large breasts. Ah, whatever. She was wearing Sobu's school uniform. Why? Does she go to cram school or something? I eyed her up and down in a totally non-perverted way when I noticed something odd.
A baseball bat, a metal one at that. She was carrying a metal bat with her right hand. She didn't even try to hide it behind her back or anything, she just let it hang there. The larger end was laying at an angle on the ground. If she wanted to annoy someone she could just drag it across the pavement while walking and make some ears bleed. I don't think she would do that... I think.
Hmm, she's looking at me kinda oddly. Ohhhh, I know what's happening. Heh, she's probably amazed by my stupidly handsome looks. Amirite or amirite? Uhhh, I have problems.
She probably thinks I look stupid or something. Or am I that ugly? Surely I cant be. I mean, Yuigahama somehow fell for me and she's flippin beautiful. I have no idea what she sees in me, I really don't, but I'm gonna hold onto her. That girl's the love of my life, don't tell her that, it's too embarrasing, sappy and cringe inducing. Anyways, that's gotta count for something, right? Right?
Anyhow, why is Yukinosh- Wait a second. Yukinoshita? Is- is she related to Haruno? I really hope to god she isn't. I already have enough problems with Haruno constantly breathing down my neck.
"Are you Hikigaya Hachiman?" She asked after a long staring contest.
"No" That's a total lie. Heh, I know what to say whenever someone asks me that question.
The last guy who asked that question nearly killed me. Funny this is though, he could bring me right back to life only to kill me all over again. That guy is one big jerk.
"Are you sure?" She plainly asked.
"I've never been so sure about something in my life before this" I told her, ignoring all the crap behind her.
Not gonna lie, having ghost powers and crap is cool and all, but seeing ghosts 24/7 is kinda annoying. It's especially annoying if there are a few walking about your house not even responding to you telling them to leave.
"Is that so?" She asked
"Yup" I said rather smugly.
"Then what's this?" She pointed the head of the baseball ball to the wall outside on my left.
I looked over and saw a plaque which read: Hikigaya Household. Well, shit.
"I'm a friend of Hikigaya" I said
"Oh really now?" She asked, obviously not buying it.
"Yea"
"Well, can you get him for me, by chance?"
"No, I can't actually"
"And why not?"
"He's, uh, he's not here" I told her
"Then why are you here? Surely when a friend is over then the resident of this household would be here too" She asked
She seemed to be getting more and more irritated as the seconds go by. Her brow seemed to be furrowing ever so slightly. I probably shouldn't get her so mad, seeing how she has a baseball bat and everything.
"He went out to the store real quickly. Wanted some ice cream, he's a real glutton I tell ya" I said
"Sure..."
She proceeded to put the bag that was slug over her left shoulder and set it on the ground. Not letting go of the bat, she reached into her bag and got out a small card. What's that? She's not giving me her business card or something, right?
"What's that?" I voiced my thoughts.
"Here" She handed me the small little card and I looked at it.
What? Who the heck's this dumbass in the picture? Oh, wait. That's me. Wait! This is my I.D! How does she have it?
"That is you, correct?" She asked
Ah, shit. She got me in the corner. What am I supposed to say now? I can't keep denying. But what does she want? And why does she have that baseball bat? Does she want to smash my head in? Is she a serial killer? Or, maybe she's one of those people you hire to beat the shit out of someone at their doorstep. Would someone hire a person like her? Damn, probably. I have a lot of enemies.
Oh, well. Here goes nothing. "Yea that's... that's me" I let out a silent sigh
"So you lied to me" She said
She now began to bring the baseball bat to hold in two hands. She moved the bat up and down as if getting herself to hit me. She looked like a Mother about to scold the hell out of her child.
"Yea?" I wasn't sure what to say
"Why?"
"I don't, uh, I don't really know your intentions?" I had begun to move ever so slowly away from her. I seemed to be moving at a centimeter per minute.
"Hmm. Well, that was good on your part."
She raised her bat so fast I had barely any time to react. I pulled the door to close it but her bat got stuck in between the door. She began to try to pry it open with me pushing on the head of the bat with one hand and trying to close the door with the other. I had trouble trying to close the door, this girl is seriously stupidly strong!
"What do you want!?" I asked, panic evident in my voice.
I honestly didn't feel like fighting right now. And I definitely didn't feel like fighting a girl right now.
"You have something of mine that is very valuable to me" By now she had her head halfway in the door, her cold blue eyes showing off an extreme amount of anger.
This is probably a stupid idea, but I decided to let the door fly open. She nearly fell flat on her face, she used the bat to prop herself from falling.
I took a look at her. Yep, angry as hell. With her cheeks and ears a bright shade of crimson, she said:
"Give me back my amulet!"
She took a swing at my head but I luckily dodged it. Her bat instead hit a picture of a young me hanged on the wall. Of course only a picture of me would get destroyed.
"Hey listen-" I said as she swung for my head again.
I ducked down just in time and got a clear view of her stomach. Alright, what should I do now? Should I hit her? Should I talk it out with her and see what she wants? Would she even want to talk it out? Seeing as she keeps swinging at me... Ah, screw it. I'll go easy on her though.
I balled my hand into a fist and-
And that's part of what happened. After that I woke up naked stripped to my chair in my room. I'll tell you about that later, but first, I need to explain a few things. You may have noticed a few things. Things like someone name 'Elsie', me mentioning seeing ghosts and ghost powers (sounds stupid, I know). But it's all true. I met this ghost a few months back, a little girl name Elsie.
She sorta tricked me into pretty much selling my soul to the Devil. It's not as bad as it sounds, though. Y'see the Devil's actually a pretty nice guy. He doesn't look at all like how he's depicted. His skin color isn't red and he doesn't have horns or anything like that. He's actually a pretty tall and lanky guy with jet black hair and a lopsided grin with a big hearty mustache. He's a real smartass, too. Oh and his domain? Y'know Hell? It's not too bad either. It's actually an amusement park for the undead, but that's for another time.
Anyways I'm currently on a date with my girlfriend Yui. We're sitting on a bench alone, hand in hand, enjoying the view of the park (AKA her enjoying and me pretending all the ghosts walking around don't exist), when I happen to see Yukinoshita walking about, baseball bat in hand and her usual smug looking face intact. Seeing her caused a surge of unwanted memories to come flooding back to me, but I forcibly though about something else. I ended up leaning over to my girlfriend and asked her a simple question.
"Hey Yui? Have you, y'know, been hit on the head with a baseball bat?"
She turned to me with a puzzled look.
"No? I don't think so? Why?"
I pointed my head to Yukinoshita who was currently pointing her bat at some poor looking oaf, he had some flowers and chocolate in hand. Poor guy probably tried to ask her out.
"See her? That girl over there with Sobu's uniform? You probably know her, she's carrying a bat?"
Yui squinted her eyes and craned her neck forward to get a better view. Her eyes opened suddenly as she looked at the girl who was walking away from the guy on the ground who was clutching his heart. Poor guy, must've been rejected. I know the feeling.
"Oh! Yea! That's uh... what was her name again? Yukinoshita!" She exclaimed as she looked at me.
I nodded as she looked back at her walking figure, her bat is still in hand.
"Hmm, but why is she holding a bat? And why is she wearing her school uniform?"
"I dunno, but seeing her makes me wonder..." I said
"Does it make you wonder what it feels like to get hit on the head with a baseball bat, Hikki?" She asked
"Yeah, do you think it'll hurt?"
"I'd imagine so"
"Yeah"
I looked at the sky for a bit to think about what happened when Yukinoshita came to my house. The sky's a pretty shade of orange mixed in with dark grey clouds. It's getting late.
"Hey, Yui?"
"Mm?"
"I think it's time to go home, it's getting pretty late."
She nodded her head and rose from the bench, my hand still entwined with hers, she brought me up from the bench and brought me in for a small kiss. I blushed at the contact of our lips. Despite dating for the better part of 3 months, I'm still not used to her contact. Don't get me wrong I enjoy the living hell out of it, but it's still a new feeling to me. Not only that, but Yui often makes the first move. Which is something I don't mind, it's just that more often than not it makes me seem like I'm the girlfriend and she's the boyfriend, making her the man of this relationship.
After the small kiss, we walked hand in hand to Yui's house. Dropping her off she asked me if I wanted to go inside and have a quick drink.
"Hey, Hikki? Wanna come inside and have some hot coffee?" She asked me, an unusually mischevous grin on her face.
Hot coffee, huh? Is it MAX Coffee? Actually, I have some MAX Coffee back in the fridge at home. To be honest I wouldn't mind some hot coffee, but I don't really feel like bumping into her father. He's a scary man.
"Nah, to be honest, I don't really feel like drinking some coffee and having a chat with father, you know how talkative he is." I told her
She looked at me dumbly, then shook her head softly.
"My parents aren't here, Hikki. Just you and me, all alone" She said.
All alone? Why would she want to spend time all alone? We just spent the better part of the afternoon together. And why aren't her parents home? Yui could decide to cook something up and burn the whole place down.
"No, I'm okay, but thanks for asking. I gotta go, I have a book I've been meaning to finish" I told her.
She looked at me dumbly again and shook her head again, a small blush spreading across her face and to her ears.
"Ok, then Hikki. Sigh, I'll see you tomorrow then?" She asked
"Yea, I'll see you tomorrow" I said as she gave me a quick peck on the lips.
"Bye Hikki"
"See ya, Yui. And don't cook anything, you'll burn the whole place down." I told her as I walked away from her porch and onto the sidewalk.
The only thing I heard was Yui yelling "I'm not that bad of a cook, stupid Hikki!"
I continued walking down the sidewalk, hands in the pocket of my jacket, and my head down a bit. I walked for about 20 minutes before I made it to the street where my house is. Looking towards my house revealed an interesting sight.
Standing in the small dim light of a street light, stood a figure with a bag slung over their shoulder, long black hair and a uniform with a skirt. The person's back was facing me so I couldn't tell who it was, but in the figure's right hand was a baseball bat. Yukinshita? Huh, she actually looks pretty badass.
I started walking towards her to see what she wants when I heard a 'Psst' from a dark alleyway. I looked to my left and squinted my eyes to see in the dark and saw a short stubby looking ghost in one of those biker jackets with a pair of black leather pants. Oh, great. It's him.
I sighed as I walked over to him. Getting closer I saw he had a G-Cig in his mouth, slowly inhaling and exhaling and puffing out the opaque smoke.
"What do you wan't Max?" I asked him when I got near him.
Max is this ghost that I sorta befriended through Elsie. He's one of those classic 'bad boy' type guys you see in movies from the 60's and 70's. He's actually not that bad, though, albeit he can get very annoying. Not as annoying as that insect Taishi, though.
"Hey, uh, I gotta warn ya about somethin' pal." He whispered in a hushed tone
He puffed a big plume of smoke at my face causing me to wave my hand and dissipate the smoke. I could see the purple aura emanating from his body, like most ghosts, he has a certain color around him. His is purple, his scent is a mixture of smoke and for some reason, peaches.
"Yeah? Well go on, I'm all ears." I told him.
Max usually warns me of strange people hanging around my house or my general area, or of things he finds suspicious. He's one of the few ghosts who actually talks with me, too.
"You probably saw her already, but that Yukinoshita girl is over there waiting for ya" He said while throwing the G-Cig down on the ground and putting it out by stepping on it and rubbing it into the ground.
"Yeah, I saw her. You know what she want's?" I asked him
"No, can't say I do. But after she left ya naked in your room, I can't say you should trust her."
Hearing Max say that caused even more unwanted memories to flood back into me, this time I couldn't forcibly stop myself from thinking about that time.
Uhhh...
Wha- what the hell?
Why does my head hurt?
Where am I?
Fluttering my eyes a bit I woke in a semi dark room, the light was flickering on and off in an ominous manner. It appears as though I'm seated in a chair, rather comfy. Wait, is it my desk chair? I looked around a bit and saw a bed and a desk. I looked down and saw rope wrapped all around my chest and arms, preventing me from getting up.
And- Wait!? Am I naked!? I looked down again to confirm and yep, no shirt and no pants or underwear, not even socks. What the hell happen? Did- did Zaimokuza get me drunk again? Please no. The last time that happened I woke up naked on the school rooftop only to be confronted by a red faced Kawasaki who opened the door to have a smoke.
"So your awake" I heard a feminine voice say.
I turned and looked in front of me. Who's that? I could see a figure every time the light flickered back on, definitely feminine in nature. Hold on, is this person the one flickering on the lights? Hold on again, is this my room?
"Hey! Who are you?" I asked the figure
"Tsk tsk, a bash to the head and you already lost your memory? How sad" She said as she stopped flickering the lights, leaving the lights on.
The person in front of me was now illuminated in a bath of white light, she began walking towards me and stopped right in front of me. Lowering her head a few centimeters in front of my face, she stared at me with those big glassy blue eyes.
"Yukinoshita Yukino" I muttered.
She smirked as she raised her head and crossed her arms in a haughty matter.
"So you didn't lose your memory, huh?" She asked.
Lose my memory? Why would that hap- wait a minute.
Why is Yukinoshita Yukino in my bedroom-
"Wait, where are we?" I asked her
"Look around you"
And so I did. I looked to my left and to my right. Yup, my room alright. However there's something wrong. Why is my room a goddamn mess? Did-did Yukinoshita ransack my whole room? Everything's a mess! My bed is all messed up, all my crap underneath is flung out. All my stuff on my desk is all on the floor, all my books and pens thrown about. My porno mags are all on the ground. The door to my closet is open, all of my clothes thrown about as well. Just what the hell has this girl been doing? And who's gonna clean up this mess?
"You're probably wondering why your room is in a state of... madness, I should say" She said as I looked up at her
"Yea, obviously. What the hell happened here" I asked her.
"Simple. I was looking for something"
Looking for something? What could she be possibly looking for in my room-
"Hold on! Close your eyes, you demon! I'm naked here!" I yelled at her when I realized that I was completely naked.
She continued looking at me with a victorious smirk.
"Oh there's no need, I've seen more than enough" She gave me another smirk.
I couldn't help but blush as she stared at me.
"Nice package, by the way. Your name surely does it justice, huh, Hikigaya Hachiman?"
I looked to the side and refused to look her in the eyes. What did I do to receive this?
"HEY!" Her yell caught my attention and I looked at her only to feel the head of the bat hit my kneecap.
It honestly didn't hurt much, only a slight sting, but it'd be best if I were to react in a believable manner. My body as been transforming ever since what happened at the hospital, I've been getting stronger and more perceptive, pain also doesn't affect me much. However, in the situation I'm in I have to yell out in mock pain.
"OWW! Oh, no. Please no! Don't hurt me! Pain is my only weakness!" I yelled at her.
She lifted the head of the bat and placed it on the ground next to me.
"I have a question to ask you" She said
I didn't answer as I was too busy trying to fake pain.
"Do you have my amulet?"
After a while I looked up at her.
"I don't have an amulet." I told her.
"Are you positive?"
"Yes"
She looked at me quizzically with a brow slightly raised. She kept staring at me for a few more seconds. Her eyes were boring holes in my head, she has one mighty death glare.
"Alright, I'll believe you. But that's only because I checked every nook and cranny of your room and of your house" She said
My whole house?
"You didn't leave my house a mess did you?" I finally asked
"No of course not. How could I leave someone's home in shambles?" She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I looked around my room and saw the state of things.
"Then why is my room in shambles?" Am I not worthy or something?
"I figured you could clean it. Anyways, I have a proposition for you."
"Like what?" I asked
"You will help me find my amulet" She said- no, demanded.
"And what do I get in return?" I asked
"Absolutely nothing, you don't deserve anything" Hmm, not sure if I can argue with that
"Alright- actually?"
"Hmm?" She hummed
"You're related to Haruno, yeah?" I asked
Her brow raised ever so slightly.
"Yes? Do you know her?" She asked, appearing to be interested.
"Tell you what. I'll help you, and in return tell you sister to not bother me all the damn time, she's seriously getting really annoying." I told her
"Deal. I suppose I could smash some common sense into Nee-san's head" Wait, is she implying something sinister here?
She picked up her bat and turned around and started to walk towards the door.
"Hey! Wha- where the hell do you think you're going?" I asked incredulously.
"I'm going home, obviously." She said as she opened the door
"You're not gonna release me?"
"Of course not" She said as she let go of the handle and covered her flat as fields chest "Who knows what you might do to me in the state your in"
"The state I'm in?" I asked "I wasn't naked when you came here, so that means you took off all my clothes, if anything I should be the one who's worried!" I yelled at her.
She simply smiled and walked out.
Well great. What am I supposed to do now? And where the heck is Komachi? Surely she would've heard her dear brother's fake screams of pain. Is she not here? I hope she doesn't find me in this state, I really do...
"Hey! Hey Hikigaya! Dude, what's wrong?" I heard a hushed voice call for me.
I saw a pair ghostly hands wave in front of me.
"Huh?" I said absentmindedly.
"Dude, you just spaced out for a few seconds man. You kinda scared me"
I looked at the person who was talking to me. Oh, it's Max...
Oh! Right, I was here talking to Max when I recalled some... memories.
"Sorry... I just remembered something" I said as I felt a shiver run up and down my spine.
"Oh, ok well anyways, be careful man. I don't trust that Yukinoshita girl" He told me as he walked back into the dark alleyway and made spooky noises.
I continued to stare down the alleyway when I heard a cat and girl scream. The next thing I heard was Max say "Stupid cat". I smiled faintly and walked out of the alleyway and stared at the figure under the light.
Walking towards the figure known as Yukinoshita, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for whatever comes next.
Response to Reviews:
hikigaya: Yup, Beelzebub indeed. And no, he won't become a shinigami :)
TheLaughingStalk Lenny-kun: Yeah, sorry about the super long delay in this chapter. Hopefully this makes up for it.
FireHero: I'm assuming you liked it? :)
abulkabul27: Thank you :)
Guest #1: Aww :(. Oh, well. Not everyone's gonna like it. But here's the thing. Don't go and say something is crappy just because you don't like it, ok? It's not only rude, but it doesn't give the author anything to work off of. Instead of saying it's crap, give out some criticisms, alright?
Guest #2: Thanks, here's the second chapter to this.
Nobody: Thanks, I think it's pretty interesting, too.
kami sama: Neither can I :)
Killusion: Thanks! She'll have a bigger role in the next chapter.
Hachiman Hikkigaya: Indeed
jun: :D
Kagemusha-Z: I don't hate him :) Also, I've never seen Black Butler, I've heard of it though.
wHYaREyOUeVENrEADINGtHIS: Maaaybe.
wildarms13: Yeah, their interactions will be very different. :)