A/N: As I have recently sent off some wonderful stories (and am about to send off another this week into the land of completion), I thought it only fitting that I add a new story into the fray. This idea has been bouncing around in my head since I heard the song 'Took My Whole Life' by Shannon LaBrie (see the lyric shout out as my title) but I was struggling to decide exactly how I wanted to handle it. I think I've finally found the way, and I hope that you'll join me on another fluffy trip into a Captain Swan AU with a guaranteed happy ending and a lot of feels along the way!

Thirty-seven messages. The number blinked back on his phone, jarring as could possibly be, but Killian ignored them all. He knew what most of them were, congratulations on the new book and how well it was doing from people who claimed they cared but were just pretending to be his friends. In reality, they only gave a damn if he was a success, which he currently was. Amongst the unwanted well wishers, Killian suspected there were pleas from his publisher and his agent to re-up his contract and keep his book series going another five or six installments, but he was done. These characters, this world he had created was tired, and he was tired of it.

Shucking off his jacket, Killian didn't bother to look around the big empty house he had here in the California hills just outside of LA. He knew it all looked exactly the same as when he'd left it this afternoon. For the past eight years he'd been renovating this old house in the hopes that it would give him something to occupy his time and invest some of that book money in. Now it had served it's purpose, which was to supply him projects to distract him when the words wouldn't come, and when his mind moved back to days now long gone.

Stay ahead of it, Jones, he chastised himself as he found a container of leftovers in the fridge to heat up. The event tonight had supplied food, but only the ridiculously pretentious attempts at cultural fusion that always left a bad taste in his mouth. It was all so ridiculous. Surely everyone in the room would prefer a burger or perhaps pasta, but he'd actually had something called tempura couscous tonight. He couldn't make this stuff up and he was a writer for fuck's sake.

As the timer dinged, Killian's cell phone began to ring, but unlike nearly every other time the device gave its offending chirps, Killian moved to answer it. This tone signaled his elder brother, Liam, and it had been too long since he'd had the chance to speak to him.

"Liam, it's good to –" Immediately his brother shushed him.

"Just listen." The forceful whisper surprised Killian, but what he heard next more fully bowled him over, for the voice that sounded was not Liam's but his fiancé, Elsa's.

"So what, the house just has a lot of memories?" Instinctively Killian knew what was coming next, but he didn't dare to dream that he'd hear her voice, until it was sounding through his speakers. Even all these years later, Emma Swan had the power to completely change his world simply through speaking.

"Exactly. Every time I'm here, I think of him and it hurts. He was – he was… he was my best friend and my favorite person. When anything happened I told him and he was just always what I needed. Being here right now is a reminder that he didn't see me the way I saw him." Didn't see her? His whole life was Emma then, from the day he'd moved to Storybrooke at thirteen, to that fateful morning five years after when he'd left for college. She was everything to him, more important than any other person or thing in the entirety of the cosmos, with her golden hair and beautiful eyes, and her wit and charm. He'd worshiped her, loved her more than words could ever say, but she said it was him who didn't feel for her? This was madness.

"How did you see, him?" Killian felt his breath catch at Elsa's question, for now it was all he wanted to know as well, but Emma stayed silent. "You loved him. Oh, Emma, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you to come tonight."

"Elsa, it's fine. It's been years, I should be over it, I should just forget him, but I don't think I ever will. My heart just wont let me." Killian heard the tears in Emma's voice and Gods if it wasn't the worst thing he'd ever heard in his life. He'd done that to her. Emma Swan, a girl who had faced life's harshest trials and come out just as angelic on the other side, was ruined by him. The speaker pulled away from the conversation and Liam's voice filtered through to Killian once more.

"What kind of man leaves the woman he loves and the woman who loves him behind like that? You're better than this, Killian. At least I thought you were." Liam's reprimand had Killian feeling frantic.

"I didn't just leave her – she was with kissing another man the day after being with me!"

"Who the hell would Emma Swan have ever been with other than your sorry ass?!"

"Walsh Miller. I saw them together." To Killian's ears now it sounded ridiculous.

"Walsh Miller was a socially stunted kid who thought Emma's tutoring him for his SATS a few years before meant they had a love connection, and she was too polite to slap him over it. You seriously pulled away for that?! And here I thought she'd turned you down, or actually slighted you, but no!" At the time it had felt like a stab to the heart, but Killian hadn't had any claim to her other than that they were friends. Despite the change to their relationship that last summer, they hadn't discussed being officially anything more than that. His instinct in the face of that kiss had been to run, avoiding the mortification of loving her when she pursued her own fulfillment elsewhere. He'd accepted a last minute spot in early orientation for school the next day and was gone straight away, not returning for longer than a two-day stay in the nearly ten years that followed.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Killian was damn close to pulling his hair out over the revelation. It had been years, years he'd wondered what had gone wrong, why Emma would choose Walsh given everything they had, and if he himself hadn't just been the biggest bloody coward for walking away without saying anything or fighting for her. Now he knew he was, he was a fool and very likely had ruined the best thing that he'd ever had in his miserable life.

"When was she supposed to? You decided to leave the next day and when she did come to say goodbye you were cold as ice to the girl." The memory was too painful to face, but as it flashed through his mind Killian couldn't deny how terrible he'd been. All of it thanks to unwarranted pain he'd been suffering. It had been childish, to run like that, there could be no denying that fact, and by the time he'd thought better of it, it had felt too late. She was off at school herself, no doubt building a life that was better for his not being in it.

"Liam, what have I done?" Liam sighed, clearly exasperated but reigning in his own emotions.

"Nothing that can't be undone if you try your damndest brother. She's single and for better or worse she still loves you, but I can't imagine how you'll do it, how you'll make it up to a woman who loved you as she did." An idea struck, and the moment it did, Killian knew it was his only shot at redemption with the girl who had haunted his dreams all these years. He only prayed that it would work and that the Gods would be good and grant him the little bit of time he still needed to see it through.

….

Three Months Later

Strolling down the streets of her quaint seaside hometown, Emma Swan appreciated the briskness of the air around her despite the late August sun. Birds were chirping, kids were laughing, all was good in this little corner of the world, and Emma was glad for it. She only hoped that this peace would continue as she made her way into work for the day. Emma moved from the sidewalk into the building where she ran her medical practice from and found, happily that all was calm here too.

Taking a look around her offices always brought a smile to Emma's face, no matter the circumstances. She could be caught in the midst of clinical chaos, with ten patients who needed immediate care, or spending an easy afternoon with only one with a benign problem and her contentment stayed the same. Whatever the patient population looked like, this place, and this job made her happy.

After years of college, medical school, and residency, Emma knew that the place she wanted most to be was home. Storybrooke Maine was a small town with a big heart, and what it lacked in big city luxury it made up for with genuine neighborly kindness and natural beauty. It was also the perfect place for Emma to pursue a career as a general physician. At school she'd mostly studied pediatrics, for she'd always loved kids, but that specialization didn't matter to the people in this town, who were all just happy to come into an office like this as opposed to the hospital in town for their more mundane maladies. She's been here and in business for a little over a year, and always had more than enough clients to keep her occupied.

Emma's success to this point had been substantial enough that she'd been able to hire a physician's assistant, a lovely young woman named Tiana who was lively and quick witted and easily the hardest working person Emma had ever met. She opened the clinic every day a full hour before Emma arrived and got everything squared away for the day as best she could, putting out fires before they could ever really catch.

"Morning Ti."

"Morning Emma. It's been pretty slow so far, but I do have Mary Margaret and her gaggle in exam one." Emma smiled at the short hand.

"Which kid is it this time?" At the same time both women filled in who it would most likely be, "Eva." With that Emma moved into the patient room.

As was to be expected in a family friendly practice like Emma's, some groups kept her a little more occupied than others, and today she was facing one such clan. David and Mary Margaret Nolan were two friends of Emma's from high school who had been in love as long as she could remember and now had four small kids. Fearless and determined to find the next big adventure all the time, the Nolan children were known for playing rough and taking any dare, which was likely why Eva, who was all of six years old, was visiting for the second time this month.

"Good morning, Nolans!" Emma said cheerily as she walked into the exam room. For a mother who had an injured child, and three other little ones in tow, Mary Margaret was still so bright and bubbly. It was one of her best, and most unbelievable qualities.

"Good morning, Emma! Say good morning kids." All of them immediately chorused good morning back to Emma. Emma took the chance to reread Eva's chart and the incoming complaint.

"So we're here today because of an injured ankle?" Eva nodded, her chin jutting outward as if she was holding back pain. Emma had to hand it to the little girl, she was a tough kid and was always perfectly behaved when she came in to see Emma. "Well let's take a look." As Emma checked along the sprained limb, Mary Margaret took the chance to catch up, something that Emma had come to expect. With how busy Mary Margaret and Emma both were, this was one of the few times they got an extended period to gossip or regroup.

"So the reunion planning is genuinely starting to drive me crazy. I mean, how difficult is it for people to send in an RSVP?" Emma gave her friend a sympathetic smile.

"Especially since most of us live within a three mile radius." Mary Margaret's hand went up in a gesture of agreement.

"Exactly! It's crazy. I mean really, it's one thing for Killian not to respond, he's off in California running the world, but I mean Deidre Higgins can't seem to give me an answer and I've run into her three times on the street this week alone!" Mary Margaret's mention of Killian Jones, their former classmate, was casual, but Emma's response to him was anything but. Immediately her heart rate picked up just thinking of him, and that old familiar pang of missing him came with it. That only fueled her frustration, because she shouldn't miss him. She'd spent too long wondering what-if about Killian, but clearly he wasn't doing the same. He was off writing. No, that didn't do it justice – Killian was off having an incredibly successful writing career three thousand plus miles away.

The craziest part was that despite everything, despite the fact that she'd been in love with Killian only for him to all but disappear from the fabric of her life so suddenly, Emma was happy for him and so proud of him. She had all of his books, and more than that she made a point to buy the different editions she saw, so while he'd only written six individual action novels, she had probably forty of his books scattered around. She'd read each one cover to cover, loving everything about them and feeling like at least through those pages, she got to keep a piece of him with her. Killian had always been so talented, but he'd also been afraid that no one else would think so. For him to now know that people from all over the world enjoyed his work… well it was all Emma could ever want for him.

"It's crazy," Emma murmured back before returning to the medical problem before her. "Seems what we have here is a mild sprain. I've wrapped it up for you, and I'll go grab the Nolan designated crutches, but you should stay off of it for three to four days, and keep it elevated while icing. You guys know the drill." Mary Margaret nodded as Emma corralled the family out into the waiting room once more, but her pixie-haired friend suddenly looked stricken.

"Emma, I'm sorry, I forgot myself for a second there, I shouldn't have brought him up." Emma shook her head, trying to put on her brave face. It was bad enough everyone knew that Emma cared for him, she didn't need to linger on her embarrassing inability to let him go.

"Mary Margaret it's fine, really. I'm over it." I'm so not over it, she thought to herself, but hey, since nothing else had worked the past ten years, why not just go for full out denial? "Besides, he'd never come to the reunion. He has a totally different life now."

The door to the clinic suddenly opened with a clang, the force of the entrance rattling the windows slightly. It caught everyone's attention but when Emma saw the person responsible she felt confused. The tall brunette who was out of breath, as if she'd run all the way from the bookstore where she worked a few street over, was none other than her friend Ruby.

"Emma?! Oh thank god you're here!" Emma looked at Ruby trying to assess what the problem could be. Ruby hated running, so Emma had to wonder why she'd done so to get here.

"Ruby, are you alright?" Emma asked, worried that she or someone else was hurt. Ruby nodded and though still catching her breath, she waved around some papers.

"You need to see this." Emma grabbed the papers but stayed focused on Ruby's eyes. Her friend was concerned but about what, Emma couldn't tell. "It came into the shop just now. I got here as fast as I could."

"Ruby what is it?" Her friend's actions were so bizarre since there wasn't really anything at Belle's Books that should affect a doctor. Still, Emma's gut was screaming at her that whatever Ruby was about to say was big.

"Look." Emma's hands were shaking as she looked down at the first paper. It was an announcement for a new Killian Jones book. Emma's eyes flashed back up to Ruby's, her instincts now confirmed, for if Ruby, who knew Emma's history with Killian, was bringing this to her it was big. "Go on, Emma." Emma took a steadying breath and read the brief press release.

Mills Publishing is thrilled to announce the latest showing from international best-selling author, Killian Jones. This genre-defying novel, titled A Life in Love, branches away from expectations and proves once and for all that Jones is as versatile as he is poetic. Centered on the young love of a teenage British export and the girl next door that captivated him from their first meeting, A Life in Love, is already being heralded by critics as 'the best romance story of the decade' and 'impossibly beautiful and hopeful in spite of everything that's gone wrong for our two heroes.' The final release date will be announced soon, but expect this new literary staple to hit shelves this holiday season.

Emma felt like the room was swirling around her. Why was Killian moving from his typical fare to this? And more importantly, if this was their story, how could it be hopeful? They hadn't really spoken in years, but the flutter of hope blended with the confusion in her chest was clinging so tightly Emma could hardly breathe.

"Mama, Doctor Emma looks sick. Is there a doctor for the doctor?" Mary Margaret's four-year-old Brady asked, though it was really just background noise to Emma. She couldn't even imagine what she must look like, but she didn't care. She just needed answers.

"Ruby, I don't understand." Moving forward, her friend took the top page and replaced it with the next one, which only made things more glaring to Emma. There, clear as day, was the intended book cover and the focal image was a heart made of two Swans, one light and one dark. Emma recognized them as Killian's own drawings, for they were done in a style that she'd watched him draw at least a dozen times when they were younger.

Tears stung at her eyes, and that sense of the world caving in on her hadn't faded, but her eyes moved down to just beneath the beautiful image, where there were lines including more description about the book. Every word she read harked to Emma and Killian and who she'd always thought they were, but the validation that he'd seen it that way too didn't bring clarity. She still didn't understand why, not until she saw the dedication.

To the savior next door – you're nothing less than a miracle, and I'm sorry.

"He used to call you that," Mary Margaret said and Emma looked up at her. "Before, when we were younger. He used to call you his savior whenever anyone asked him why the two of you were so close." Emma knew it was true, he'd said it to her more times than she could count, and every time he did it felt like a promise that he'd never leave, and that she mattered. It had made his absence all the harder to deal with.

"Why now?" Emma asked the question though neither of her friends would have the answer, but both Ruby and Mary Margaret gave Emma a hopeful smile.

"Because now is all we have, Emma. You should hear him out, talk to him."

"How?! I don't even know his number anymore, and it's not like he's reached out aside from…" Ruby filled in when Emma hesitated.

"Aside from writing an entire novel about loving you?" Emma couldn't even nod. She was still in such shock about all of it.

"Yeah, aside from that." At that moment, both Emma and Mary Margaret's cell phones dinged and Emma pulled hers out instinctively, just needing the mundane action. She saw the text was from Elsa, whom she was supposed to be getting together with tonight. Did her friend know about this, or how she could get in touch with Killian?

'About dinner … Liam and I kind of have an unexpected guest.' Emma nearly dropped her phone. This was a dream. It had to be. Any second now she would wake up to realize this was just her pent up feelings about a lifetime ago, instead of real life. The thought made her incredibly sad, because in spite of everything she wanted to see him, to talk to him, to try and understand.

"Emma what is it?" Ruby asked but Emma shook her head, pinching herself and feeling the sting of pain. Oh god, maybe this was all real. The thought had her whole body surging with more adrenaline.

"He's back. And he's coming to the reunion," Mary Margaret said, passing the phone to Ruby to show her.

"Do you think he's here for good?" Ruby asked and Emma closed her eyes.

God, I hope so.

….

"I have to admit, brother, when you make amends, you don't go by halves." Killian grinned at his brother's words. He'd been back in Storybrooke for all of two hours, but standing here, in front of the old Gardiner House that he'd recently purchased, he finally felt the peace that this place had always afforded him. Yes, there were still things missing, and there was so much left to do, but he was making progress, and the first step to proving to Emma that he would love her forever had been undertaken. This house was a part of the puzzle that would come into play soon enough.

"She used to tell me all the time that this was the picture of a perfect home, and I intend to show her it still can be." Killian gazed upon the yellow Victorian home and chronicled the few changes he still wanted to make to the exterior. He'd update the white picket fence, add more of Emma's favorite flowers to the gardens in front and in back of the property, and put in a swing on that big wrap around porch. Killian had already had much of the inside revamped by a local contractor to include new amenities and to refurbish the existing structure. He intended to keep the aura of this home in tact while still giving his Swan the home she deserved. He hoped some day it would be theirs together, but either way it was hers. He'd already put it in her name.

"It's lovely, Killian." Killian appreciated Elsa's response as his future sister in law held onto Liam's arm. "And she'll come around, with enough time and patience, she'll be yours." Killian truly hoped that was the case. Even if he didn't deserve it, the only thing he wanted in all the world was Emma back by his side. He'd made enough mistakes to last a lifetime; he had no intentions of continuing on such a path.

"So what now?" Liam asked, pulling Killian from his internal reverie.

"Now I get to work on making things right."

Post-Note: So this version of this story is something that came to me in a flash recently, and I considered making it a oneshot for my mixtape collection, but decided it has enough potential for a multi-chapter fic. At this point, I'm not sure how long it will be, though I do have an ending in mind. Since it's so in flux though, I would LOVE to hear what you guys think and what you might like to see if I continue this story. Thank you all so much for reading, and I sincerely hope that you all have a lovely week.