Hey guys, Uncle WAAAGH! here.

So This is the fourth chapter of Smallhammer, and so far, I'm pleased of how its going.

I'm getting a lot of support (via story follows. lets me know i'm doing something right.)

Now, i will let you guys in on a project im working on (Rogue Documentor is on pause)

This will be my first crossover fan fiction.

The two universes will be Warhammer and Warcraft, as I am familiar with both.

I also would like to apologize for the long upload time.

I was in Hoboken visiting a friend for several days, so i hope you can forgive me.

So anyways, enjoy!

I decided to keep a journal around with me. This is so I can record, and at the same time, keep track, of all of the things happening around the house hold. If any bullet holes are found in the book, blame the orks. Only they know where it is.

October 26th, 2015

7:00: I woke up again to the roaring of the WAAAGH! It appears that there are more scorch and blood stains on my carpet and walls, and at the same time, more orks. When I asked Doomspitta about this, he said that "Da boyz keep cummin, and den we keepz foightin!". I was rather surprised that they had made a "gargant" as they called it, that looked like me. When i say that, I mean that it has the body structure of a human, and nothing else. It also appears that the boys say that they really enjoy cheerios. Charming.

7:15: After taking my morning leak, (and found some orks swimming in the toilet, which I hastily flushed them down. Leave no evidence). I had begun combing my hair, to find that the sisters of battle have raided my medicine cabinet. I can't find my tylenol. I know that it is them, because i find a dozen of the sisters, high as shit. I decided to return them to the attic, and the cannoness seemed rather furious. Whether it was at me, or the sisters, I could not tell.

7:30: I go downstairs to see, rather surprisingly, the tau, eldar, and space marines, watching TV. Like actually… watching it… without killing each other! It was a pleasant surprise. They have only been around for a couple of days, and already, they seemed to be warming up to each other. I checked up on the kitchen, and realised that my toaster had been missing. Upon interrogation (and breaking a few limbs, by accident, of course.) It had appeared that the "enginseers" had gutted my toaster, for parts to build some structures. They did not tell me what, they wanted with it though.

7:45: I called down the armies for breakfast. Because I had no job currently, I would have to go job hunting. They came rather quickly. First came the Tau, along with a majority of their civilians. They greeted me rather enthusiastically. When I asked them about the incident with the TV, they said that they were on a hunt for knowledge of their new world. Can't say I blame them. The Imperial Guard came next, rather slow to get out of their bunkers, barricades, and trenches. Lord General Irina greeted me, and although she still kept a fair distance from the tau, they seemed rather enthusiastic. I'm starting to wonder if it's the coffee, that's making them all happy. I started brewing coffee, and when they found out, they cheered so loudly I had to cover my ears. For a bunch of one inch runts, they sure make a lot of noise. And there sure are a lot of them… The Eldar yet again, teleported out of nowhere. They seemed to have made a "webway gate" as the farseer called it, right on the conglomerate side of tau and eldar. They still have the habit of calling them "mon'keigh" which disproves my theory of a nickname given to humans. The eldar have shown a particular interest in Raisin Bran. Why they would like it, was beyond me. The armies of chaos marched next. Yet again, they were completely silent, as they set down a ramp, as they climbed up to their side of the table. The chaos guys were starting to give me creeps. I woke up in the middle of the night to hear them chanting away in the office. I'm severely worried what they have been doing on my computer. The sisters of battle, and space marines arrive around at the same time. They are friendly enough, at least. When i thank them not for burning my house down, Eremiel replied with "Gratitude is a reward of Servitude, that we rather would ignore." The orks arrived last, and i knew they were coming, as they were shooting their guns in the air, and every now and then, could hear the death scream of an ork boy. They hooted and hollered, as they climbed up the table. Sure they were short, but they were Fast!

8:15: I severely regret offering coffee to the rest of the armies. The orks went batshit crazy, and started to kill each other on the table, completely ignoring the bowl of cereal. Although the sisters of battle wanted to "burn the foul xenos to a crisp." I told them not too. Richard showed up, and the sisters of battle, imperial guard, and space marines fell in love with him. They started putting guns and armor on him, but because Richard is Richard, and gives no shits to anything in the universe what so ever, he didn't even care. Soon, he had turned into a walking tank, and the sisters of battle bowed before their iron god. The eldar started moaning in pleasure, and I was severely discomforted. That type of moaning comes from porn hub, not my neighbors. And all they did was drink coffee, for Christs sake. The Tau started running around, yelling "For the greater good!" and started hugging each other. The imperial guard were the only one who seemed to act rational, even though they turned Richard into a "baneblade" as they called it. Hell of a Halloween costume, though. I decided to bring Halloween to their attention, as it was practically doomsday. After describing in length what would happen (I would decorate the house, give candy, and flip the bird as they left) they seemed rather excited. Maybe Halloween wouldn't be shitty after all.

8:45: Lodax and the warband seemed rather… enthusiastic… about it. I wasn't sure whether to be worried, scared, or pleased. It was all three, most likely. After I asked how they would do it, he chuckled, and gave me a deal. "We will prepare the… decorations… for your "Halloween". But… we require more power. Give us something large and living. Something that bleeds… would be preferable." He told me. I thought about this. I had doubts of what Lodax would do to make the decorations, considering their size, or where they would get the materials. But at the same time, there could be a slight chance that my neighbors would be impressed, and Finally, could earn their respect, although misplaced. I agreed. There were some mice in the wood pile, out in the back yard. How I would capture them alive, was a mystery. They cheered, and halted construction on the temple, getting large sticks, and prepared unholy rituals. Lodax said that they would not fail me, lest he would "Incur the wrath of the dark gods." What that meant, I had no idea. I grabbed my laptop, and got out. Pronto.

9:30: After some digging (and getting attacked by a virus. Thank god for premium protection) I found the universe they were from. Warhammer 40k. A small contingent of Imperial Guard were already on the couch with me, so I decided to leave them alone, as they watched Saving Private Ryan. However, the Imperial Guard slowly started looking at the Laptop, and were horrified that the website I found (Lexicanum) had disturbingly accurate information on the universe, even on the horus heresy. Some of them didn't even know what it was, which was surprising.

10:15: I leave the house to go on some errands. Said errands were 1. Buying Halloween candy, blowing thirty dollars from my wallet, getting a bag of mixed candies, which included M&Ms, Snickers, Tootsie Rolls, and Milky Ways. 2. Going to the bank to make a deposit. 3. Visiting my Grandfather (who isn't taking the death of his wife easily. I don't blame the old man.)

2:00: I come home to see the "Halloween" decorations that the chaos warband had made. They did not disappoint. Massive racks coming up to my knees, with the eight pointed star of chaos held bodies, swinging lightly in the wind. Lodax and a few of his entourage stood on the stairs, smug as fuck.

"You remember our bargain." Lodax chuckled, as I finished climbing up the stairs.

"Smug Prick." I said, as I let down my hand, the chaos warriors stepping on them.

"Smug as I may be, I say that the decorations are very… appeasing. The dark gods shall be happy."

Meanwhile

Meanwhile, in the ever shifting madness, that was the warp. Tzeentch sat on his throne, watching the mortal from the warp. He gave a smile, a smile that would drive mortals mad, and bend them to his will. He sipped a martini, made from the tears of children, the souls of the innocent, and the screams of the damned. His chosen form was an ever shifting humanoid bird, his blue feathers blessed with unholy wards. When he spoke, a thousand mouths opened around his body, all speaking in different voices, and different pitches. He held a staff in his hand

"You fucking pussy wizard. I don't see how this helps our cause. We should be bending mortals to our will. Not sitting in a chair, yelling 'Just as planned!'" Khorne yelled at him, barging into the meeting room. Tzeentch sighed, looking up at Khorne. Khorne was in his form as well, dressed in blood red armor that reminded Tzeentch of ancient knights. Warpfire and blood leaked from the joints of his armor, the number eight carved into his armor. Skulls of Hive Tyrants, Helmets of Chapter Masters, and Helmets of Custodes adorned his trophy rack, a chainaxe rested on his back, while a powerfist was attached to his left hand.

"This may the most important moment in your life. Or not. Its up to you to decide. Because I am the Weaver of Fate. Am I? Or Am I not? You kn-" Tzeentch said, before he barely moved out of the way, as a chainaxe was thrown at him.

"Shut the frak up you fucking space wizard, before I shove this power fist so far up your ass, you'll become my new puppet." Khorne said.

"That sounds… perfect." Slaanesh groaned, coming out from behind Khorne, rubbing his shoulders. Khorne started fuming, froth coming out of the breathing grill. Slaanesh as always, was barely wearing any clothes, one showing an entire exposed breast. Of course, Slaanesh was both genders, and she/he/it knew it.

"Please… stop… killing… each other…" Nurgle wheezed, closing the door behind them, as he watched Khorne strangle Slaanesh, all the while she moaned, most likely getting an orgasm. Nurgle looked similar to his greater daemons, The Great Unclean ones. His face had peeled back, revealing a skull infested with maggots. Bloatflies flew around him, barfing digestive juices along his armor, maggots infesting his shoulders. His gut was exposed, revealing decayed intestines.

"Alright that's it. Stop. Now… I have a plan…" Tzeentch said.

"Make… it… quick…" Nurgle said, his repugnant stench making Khorne let go of Slaanesh, all the while she climaxed all over Tzeentch's rug. Tzeentch sighed. He just weaved it today.

"If we play our cards right… we can take over mankind… before the emperor showed up…" Tzeentch said. That got their interest.

"What do you mean you piece of shit?" Khorne growled, looking at Slaanesh in disgust, as she cooed lightly toward him.

"A recent conflict sent The Imperium, Black Legion, Tau, Eldar, and Orks… into the past… in small size." Tzeentch said. Slaanesh looked at him.

"How?" the three gods asked collectively. Tzeentch chuckled, sipping his martini.

"I'm not sure… i'm pretty sure that looser… The Deceiver… had something to do with it. Regardless… the followers of Chaos, are in the mortal realm, before the corpse emperor even showed himself." Tzeentch said.

"So you're saying… if the Black Legion manages to corrupt the human race before the emperor shows up… the Imperium would never exist?" Slaanesh asked him. Tzeentch chuckled.

"Yes…" Tzeentch chuckled.

"Yes… indeed…"

Back to Real time

3:00: I kept the candy bag well hidden, especially after the reactions of the other races to sugar… god help me if they find out that the amount of sugar . Since the Imperial Guard seem well disciplined enough, I ordered them to keep guard. They seemed happy, finally they had a purpose! Auto cannons were being set up, patrols on high alert. They even dragged Richards bed into the room (and therefore, Richard. Lazy piece of shit. I love him.) The Lord General assured me that no one would enter the cupboard (even though I didn't tell them what was in said cupboard.) I left them too it. I wouldn't ruin the fun for them.

6:00: My search for jobs has become fruitless. Thus far. I need to find a source of income, and fast. However, today I needed a quick break. I decided to watch the entire first season of game of thrones, before passing out. My last memory was the sisters of battle wrapping a blanket around me, before I slipped out of reality.

I awoke, not to the screaming of orks, but to an amazing palace. I glanced around, taking in the azure blue walls, eyes and faces screaming cast into the wall with unholy bronze. I walked around, the walls themselves seeming to whisper things to him.

"Imagine… all of this power… yours…" A voice said to him. I shivered, the voice seemingly made of smaller voices, each with different pitches, pronunciation, and grammar.

"What… what are you talking about?" I asked. The voice did not respond, before it talked again.

"Then let me show you…" It whispered. The palace changed, and then he saw the remains of his neighborhood. The houses were destroyed, bodies hanging limply from shrines of horrors, and then I saw him. He was beautiful, and massive. He held two swords in his hand, marks of the dark gods on his armor. He was the chosen of all of the dark gods. The unmatched combat prowess and honor of Khorne, the unholy fortitude of Nurgle, The infinite wisdom of Tzeentch, and the beauty of slaanesh. He was perfect, and around him, an army rose at his feet.

"Long live Lord Daniel! Herald of the Dark Gods!" They cheered, praising him. He roared, as he challenged any foe who dared to face him in combat.

"All of this power… yours… imagine everyone bowing to your feet… no longer would you be considered the whelp of the family… no longer would you be disrespected…" Tzeentch promised me.

"All that we require… is your servitude…" He whispered.