[WARNING: Bullying, implied sex and psychological trauma]

Take One Down

You're the third wheel.

Everyone around you has hinted that at least a dozen times and some even yelled that right in your face, complete with words that are not suited for a sixteen year old girl. Your friends had your back of course, but you could not stop yourself from thinking that they may have been right about that.

"Third-wheel Kousaka, no matter how you try,
You'll never fit in, so just go rot and die."

They would sing that dreadful song over and over like a broken record and there was nothing that you could do about it. Umi has taught you long ago that violence is never the way, and contrary to popular beliefs, you listened to her. Therefore you can only suck it up and let them call you whatever they want.

It's actually pretty common in any high school. There's always that one person that will become the bunt of everyone's hatred and you knew that you just pulled the short end of the stick. Yet, you tried to make it up to them. You became the student council president by Eli's recommendation and did your best to help the school in any way possible. Sadly, there hasn't been any change since then.

Your classmates seemed to be okay with you and you even became friends with some first years that aren't from your usual dance group, though the first years quickly avoided you once they knew how everyone treated you. You can't blame them, either. This was the price of saving the school, so you need only be strong.

Though deep inside, you don't know how much more you're going to take before you completely break.

When the others in the group asked if you were okay with how much hatred around you, you simply laugh it off and reassured them that there's nothing that can take you down. You're Honoka Kousaka. You're invincible.

They would smile from how much self-confidence you were showing them and you'd change the subject.

The only one who wouldn't drop the subject was Rin.

She knew you too well. You're confidantes and you'd always help each other no matter how tough the times may be. That was why she dropped by your class whenever Kotori or Umi went ahead of you, to make sure that you're okay, to make sure that you're not breaking, to make sure you're still yourself.

You're always okay.

When you found nails inside your shoes in the locker, you're okay.

When you walk into class, only to see that your desk has been smudged with writings of curses and lyrics to that god-awful song, you're okay.

When you were beaten up behind the school by some seniors you've never even met, you're okay.

When everyone in the school isolated you,...

… you're okay.

Your friends didn't become ignorant for long.

Rin was the first to crack.

Someone passed by when you were eating your udon and slyly slipped in a worm into your food while the others weren't looking. They knew you would just eat it up, just like all those other times because you wouldn't want to worry your friends. Only this time, Rin noticed.

She raged.

She had thrown her own ramen at the perpetrator at first which caused some sort of argument that you tried your best to calm down but Rin had lost it. It ended with Rin throwing a chair at the girl and the teachers and other students had to intervene. Thankfully, she was only given a warning thanks to your authority as the student council president. If she had gotten expelled, you wouldn't know how to live with yourself.

The next ones to notice were both Kotori and Umi, your best friends.

They noticed how you were always going out with some girls when you're not with them and decided to tail you. What they saw was you being cut and pummelled bi-weekly and they quickly stood to defend you. It was a that time that you realized how Kotori was always carrying a spare knife with her wherever she goes.

They asked you when it ended how long you've been bullied like this.

You said three days.

You lied.

And they knew.

The others took notice of your situation when you came back from school without underwear on. Nico made a joke about you being an exhibitionist, but quickly said that if you were, you have one fucked up life. You of course denied that and said that you forgot to put any on that day. Nozomi cut in and vouched that you did wear them that morning.

You could only laugh it off.

You could only laugh it off as they come to a realization that something was going on- something you're not telling them.

It had been going smoothly until then. You tried your best to reassure everyone that you're okay, that you're not hurting inside, that you weren't crying yourself to sleep every night. That was until the scale of the bullying widened.

Someone you didn't know that wasn't even from the school sang the dreadful song as you were passing by and shouted that the group would be better off without you. You were thankful that none of your friends were there to witness that and you just laughed and walked away while the man kept throwing insults at you.

You've come to familiarize yourself with it already.

Try as you might, but your friends will always find a way.

It was late one night when you were called by Eli to come to Nozomi's place. You were really confused and somewhat uncomfortable with the situation. Eli called you late at night to come to Nozomi's place. You were really uncomfortable with this.

You eventually made it to Nozomi's place and was greeted by everyone already there. You were thankful that it wasn't just Eli and Nozomi or else that would have been really awkward and would fuel the hatred even more if people found out. While you were glad, the others weren't. They were crowded around a laptop and you couldn't make out what they were looking at.

Nico then ordered you to take off your clothes.

You laughed.

When the others didn't, your laugh died down.

You protested and said that it was your human rights to wear clothes but Eli was fed up with your resistance and she, with the help of Umi, restrained you.

When they finally took of your clothes, all of them gasped.

They could finally see that the picture they were looking at in the laptop was not fake.

Words were painted all over your body calling you names and the words 'SLUT ME UP' was written right underneath your stomach with paint that took a lot longer to wash off. They did it just the night before so you didn't feel the need to wash it off that quickly and that mistake led to this situation.

You wanted to say that it was all a misunderstanding, that you were that one that wrote it, just for fun. It was all you.

But you knew better.

They wouldn't believe it.

Umi was furious.

You could only look at her guiltily as she lashed out on you, saying that you should have told them sooner when things escalated to this scale. You could only shut up and listen, like all those other times Umi lectured you in the past.

You've come to accept it by this point, that Umi was better than you at everything. Your parents have always drilled it into your head to become more like Umi and less like,... you. That was why you could only listen as Umi lectured you again for what seemed like the hundredth time after you met her.

Hanayo eventually went to stop Umi from going off at you and you silently thanked her and Eli asked you to tell them everything.

Everything.

You know that lying wouldn't get you anywhere any more because Kotori was actually focused at you now. You could never lie to Kotori. You could try with Umi, but Kotori knows when you're lying. She knows everything about you.

And when there's something she doesn't know, she will find out.

So you told them everything. Every single detail, without leaving anything out.

You told them about these things called ships and who was shipped with who and who was left out, you told them the reason you were left out, you told them about all those incidents and you told them that you're okay with everything.

By the time they were swallowing all those information, you ended the explanation and waited.

Maki asked why you didn't give the adults this information and you quickly replied that if you did, the school would face closure and they would be back to square one; all of this would be for naught.

Nozomi asked if this spread even further and you really didn't know. Perhaps some of the fans have caught on to this trend and would join in the wagon. She warned you not to call something like this a 'trend' and there was no joke of her groping you after that. She was serious and you could only nod in understanding.

While the others were trying not to get mad at everything, Eli brought them together to come up with something to do for you.

Eli was always like that. When everyone was distraught over something she would always be thinking of more important things, she would be coming up with plans A, B and all the way through Z while everyone was still thinking of non-important matters.

She was always the logical one.

You doubt that would be anything that could make her mind jumble.

Before you even realize it, the finals of Love Live came without much progress in your situation. Try as they might, they couldn't stop the bullying. They tried verbally stopping the whole charade, but what came in one ear, came out the other. They tried being with you 24/7, but even then they would find a way to sneak you some sort of psychological torture to your things. Like your poor iPod.

When you've finished your song, the crowd cheered for each and everyone one of you. Nozomi, Eli and even Nico was cheered by the crowd. Though try as you might, you couldn't hear them cheering you on. You let it slip because you didn't really care as long as you were able to bring the girls to this shining stage filled with dreams.

But then you heard something.

A part of the crowd was cheering some song you've come to know all too well. The others' eyes went wide which meant that they've also come to realize that song as well and they scanned which part of the crowd was singing that blasted song.

But you already knew.

In fact, you were looking at one man in the crowd.

The same man you've bumped into long ago who screamed in your face and insulted you for being the goddamn third-wheel.

You watched the man reach for something from his jacket, your eyes dead lock with his.

When you saw what it was that he pulled out, you could only smile.

Because deep down,...

You're okay with it.

/

The sound of gunfire was heard from the audience which quickly silenced the crowd. It was as if time itself stood still as everyone came to a realization. The audience watched the girls on stage. They looked at one specific girl.

Honoka Kousaka smiled as blood was dripping from her torso. She smiled as life flashed before her very eyes. She smiled as her friends shouted her name.

She smiled as she fell to the ground, lifeless.

Kotori was the first to be by her side and cradled the lifeless body of her best friend. She was smiling as well, though it was a broken smile as the tears slid down her face.

"Honoka-chan, wake up. You can't be sleeping here. H- Honoka-chan... wake up..."

Umi looked at Honoka's body and sat down next to her. She held Honoka's hand and placed it on her cheek. She closed her eyes as tears fell out.

Everyone had their own reaction. Rin searched for whoever that was who shot her, Nico did her best to control the crowd, as to not let things go south as it already is, Nozomi tried to calm down Rin who was about to castrate someone, Hanayo could only watch in despair as her one and only leader was shot and Maki sat next to Umi, taking in the final moments of one Honoka Kousaka.

Though no matter their reaction, all of them had tears in their eyes.

All except one.

Eli controlled the situation skilfully, ordering the staff around and trying to catch the perpetrator even though she knew the staff has already taken care of it. She ran around from one place to another, trying to get as far away from the stage as possible.

While she was running, she tripped on something and fell to the ground.

While others would quickly get back up after falling, Eli could only let herself go. She clenched her fists and hid her face between her hands as her face faced the ground. Tears slid down her eyes as she realized that she was not as organized as Honoka would think. She was nothing without her. She's only human.

She grieved the loss of her friend, leader-

-and crush.

/

/

After the ordeal, μ's disbanded.

Most of the fans knew they would anyway, but some were wondering why they would take such action. Those sum are the people who caused them to disband in such a way. And they would wonder to this day how it came to this.

The girls quit school, not even waiting for graduation. Eli at first wanted to graduate but at the thought of the school which caused the death of her leader, she scoffed. There was no reason for her to stay in that school any longer, and neither did everyone else.

The first one to break was- surprisingly, Nico.

Nico came home after the ordeal and locked herself in her room, crying. Her family could hear her cries and Nico's little siblings couldn't help but feel sad as well, for their big sister has finally broke down. Her mother decided that she needed the time alone and gave her her space, that proved to be an idiotic decision.

When Nico has spent her tears and could cry no more, she got up and tear down every single idol memorabilia in her room. CD's, posters, magazines, all sorts of things were taken down and thrown into the centre of the room.

She came out of her room, to the surprise of her family.

Her little siblings would ask if she was okay and even her mother wanted to ask her more, but they couldn't because she didn't reply.

It was as if she didn't even realize their presence.

Nico grabbed a nearby match and a bottle full of oil and locked herself in her room. Her mother shouted and shouted to make her open the door but she wouldn't budge. Luckily their father came home and without even having to explain, he broke the door down with sheer force.

What they saw scared them.

Flames erupted from the center of the room as Nico just stood there, looking at the fire she has caused. There wasn't any remorse in her eyes nor sadness. What they saw were hollow red eyes.

"Dreams are nothing but that- a dream."

Hanayo heard of the event but could do nothing. She knew how much Nico pinned her hopes and dreams on becoming an idol, but when becoming an idol caused your best friend to be killed, she knew Nico wouldn't take it lightly. Thankfully, Nico wasn't hurt much and she was glad that she didn't have to know that another one of her friends died.

She was walking home from buying groceries when she decided it would be a swell idea to take a shortcut back, and she did.

She went into a dark alley, hoping that she wouldn't catch the attention of some predators who are hungry for a sweet little alpaca.

She chuckled at the thought.

She then felt a pain at the back of her head and fell to the ground.

She was able to keep her consciousness as a group of men surrounded her, a small girl looked out of place with them.

The small girl crouched down and looked pitifully at Hanayo and Hanayo looked up to see the face of the girl. She was shocked.

Rin looked down at her menacingly, the affection she had for her gone from her eyes.

"R- Rin-chan?" Hanayo managed to mutter but it didn't affect the girl at all.

One of the man piped up, laughing.

"Hey boss, she's a plump one. What should we do with her?"

Rin only stared at Hanayo before scoffing, standing up and walking away.

"Do as you wish."

The men grinned from ear to ear as they reached for their prey-

-and Hanayo was broken.

Nozomi was nearby at the time and passed by the alley Hanayo was in. If she were more perceptive of her surroundings, she might have noticed the girl's situation, but she didn't. In fact, she didn't even look to where she was going. She was just walking around, not knowing where to go. Her feet was dragging her somewhere but she didn't really care.

If she were to consult her cards about this, they would tell her that this was a bad idea and she should turn around that instant, but she didn't. She didn't even care about her cards any more. If the cards didn't warn her of Honoka's situation, then what good is it? She couldn't help her friend through her ordeal and that lead to Honoka's death.

She then bumped into a tall man man with ears and nose pierced who looked menacing to the naked eyes. The man looked at her angrily for bumping into him.

"Watch where you're going, bitch!" he shouted, but his facials softened when he realized who he bumped into. "Hey, you're pretty cute."

The man wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"How 'bout we go and have a little 'chat'?"

The man smiled at her and Nozomi knew that smile all too well, but she didn't even care any more.

She didn't care about anything.

She walked with the man into a hotel and disappeared for the night.

/

/

A few weeks later, Eli called the girls for a night out to hopefully patch things up. She's been doing that for a while now but none of them were interested in going out for a night of fun any more. She couldn't even reach Maki and she hoped nothing bad happened to her.

However, that night was special.

For the first time since the incident, Nozomi decided to meet up with her.

Eli was glad that her best friend accepted.

They met up in a restaurant- the maid café where Kotori once worked at- and sat themselves at a table, Eli starting up the conversation.

"Thanks, Nozomi. You don't know how much I've wanted to talk things out with you. The others have been avoiding me and truthfully I don't know how I'd fare from being rejected for so long. I mean, not in a romantic way or anything. You know what I mean."

Nozomi looked at the girl quizzically but decided not to pursue the subject.

"No problem, Eli. I wanted to meet with you as well."

It was then Eli's turn to be confused. Nozomi didn't call her by her nickname. Nozomi always calls her by her nickname. Why didn't she now?

"What? You've missed me after so long?" Eli teased.

"You have no idea." Nozomi smiled.

Eli smiled as well, thankful Nozomi still had the tenacity to joke around with her. She then opened up the subject she's been dreading to hear.

"Have you heard anything from the others?"

Nozomi raised an eyebrow at that.

"Nothing much. I've heard everything about them, but not from them."

"Even Maki?"

"Even Maki."

Eli's eyes shot open.

"Then you've heard of Maki? I couldn't reach her cell at all, so I thought maybe she's away or something."

Nozomi looked at her friend worriedly.

"Eli, you haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

Eli was confused. She hasn't heard anything about Maki at all. She was worried that Maki did something like those two.

"Maki's been missing."

"Missing?!"

To say Eli was shocked to hear that was an understatement. Maki was the most organized member in the group, sans maybe Umi. To hear that she went missing and hadn't been found was shocking news for her.

"Yes. After Honoka died, she just disappeared from her home and her parents hadn't been able to find her since. There were rumours here and there about her but that's just what they are- rumours." Nozomi explained to her friend about what she's heard from her network.

"I see..."

Eli's mood went down after hearing her name. Nozomi realized that and chose to drop the subject. Their food came and Nozomi's eyes went wide at seeing what the girl has ordered.

Before Eli could even eat, Nozomi stopped her.

"How about we go somewhere together?" Nozomi smiled as she asked that.

Eli was confused.

"Where?"

"Do you trust me?"

Eli chuckled.

"Of course."

/

Eli lied in bed, crying. She lied in there, naked under the sheets. Nozomi sat on the bed, her attention to the window in the night sky, completely ignoring her best friend.

"Why...?"

She heard her friend muttered the question in between sobs.

Nozomi shrugged.

"You looked like you needed it."

Eli got up, tears her in eyes as she glared at the girl.

"You know my feelings too well to think that I'd be happy because of this! You know how I felt about her!"

"She's gone now, Eli. Let it go."

Nozomi lit a cigarette and took a drag, not really wanting to deal with her best friend right about now. She's always been like that. She's never had fun before Honoka came into her life. And now she's reverting back into her old self, and she hated it.

"Like you?" Eli challenged. "I've heard the rumours about you having sex with anything that moves, but I didn't take it to heart. Now I know that they're true."

Nozomi stopped her.

"False. Anything that moves, and is pretty. They should put that in my resume instead."

Eli glared.

"You're despicable."

"Oh, says the girl who ordered bread today."

Eli raised an eyebrow.

"What does that have to do with-"

"I wasn't the only one acting strange, Eli. You talked a lot more than usual, you always kept a smile on your stupid face, you wanted to keep the group together and you ordered a fucking bread, something I've never seen you do before! And I'm your best friend!" Nozomi got up mid-rant and looked at her, her eyes filled with rage and confusion.

Eli clenched her hands into a fist.

"What are you trying to say?"

Her facials softened as she looked at Eli, sitting on the bed, right next to her.

"You're not Honoka-chan. You can never become her."

Eli knew.

She knew.

But knowing and accepting are two different things.

She wanted to keep everyone together, and always thought 'How would Honoka handle this?'. She thought about how Honoka would do it if she were in her shoes and while grieving the lost of the love of her life, she ended up trying to become too much like Honoka that even Nozomi noticed it.

She only wanted to make Honoka proud.

She wanted her to rest in peace, without worrying about her friends that she left behind.

She wanted to make her happy.

Before she even realized it, Nozomi was hugging her in her chest.

She could feel liquid dripping down her face, and some of them wasn't hers.

She hugged Nozomi back as they both cried, grieving for their friend and leader.

But at the very least,

Honoka already has company with her.

/

/

"Thank you, you two. I couldn't find anyone else who could take care of Yukiho while we're gone. And I'm sorry to impose on you after,..." Miss Kousaka let it drag, not wanting to finish the sentence.

"No problem, aunty. It's the least we could do." Umi assured her.

"It'd be fun to play with Yukiho-chan again!" Kotori added.

Miss Kousaka smiled.

"You two are really good girls. If only Yukiho stopped sulking in her room all the time." she sighed.

"I'm sure she only needs time, aunty."

"Leave her to us!" Kotori piped up.

Miss Kousaka thanked them again and then left with her husband after giving the two the keys to the house. She trusts Umi would do a very swell job keeping the house in check and Kotori would be able to play with Yukiho.

Miss Kousaka felt a single tear drop from her eye.

Why did Honoka have to leave them so soon?

/

Umi opened the door to Yukiho's room, knowing that it wasn't locked any more. She found Yukiho in the room on her bed looking as lifeless as Nico.

Yukiho looked at them.

She knew what they were going to do, she knew what her sister would think about them doing it, she knew it was a humanly reaction to stop them at all cost.

She didn't.

She smiled and nodded at the two.

Kotori and Umi nodded as well, before delivering their farewells.

/

The two sat in Honoka's room, a picture in front of them. A picture of the three of them happily laughing with each other.

Where had the time gone?

Kotori raised a pill in her fingers, looking at the picture.

"Kotori promised that she would follow Honoka-chan anywhere. Be it here or there, heaven or hell. Kotori will follow. Kotori will always be there with Honoka-chan."

Umi raised a pill similar to the one Kotori was holding.

"I'm worried if you're going to be okay by yourself, Honoka. I doubt you can even find the gate by yourself. That's why I'll be there with you. The three of us, together again. Because we, Honoka, are inseparable."

The two smiled at each other.

They looked at the photo again-

- and down the pills.

[END]

Inspired by recent events that you probably already know about so I won't be saying it here. Also inspired by Honoka haters. I highly doubt there are any more of them, but to you out there who hates Honoka, yeah fuck you.

I don't know if this should be M or T, but hey, who cares?

I promise the next one will be lighter.