AN: So...life happened. And I've been in pain. Writing has been almost impossible. Decided to finish this here doohickey. If I can.

Song: "I'd Rather Go Blind" by Etta James.

Engagement sex. That's what they called it.

Tons of engagement sex, whenever they had the time. Callie barely heard the many statements of concern, or felt Bailey's hug when they got back from the ordeal with the unsuccessful gunman.

All she'd seen was the back of Arizona's head turning a corner way ahead of her. And then there was Penny. With Callie's ring on her finger.

And all she kept hearing was the thud of the mortuary dummy as it hit the floor.

Even when she led her fiancee to the on-call room. Even when she threw her onto a bed, having forgotten to lock the door. Even when she peeled the red-head's scrub-top off and freed one of her nipples from her bra.

Engagement sex, to the sound of a dropping mortuary dummy. Playing over and over in her head.

And then, one night, Penny began to ask questions. And Callie didn't want to answer them.

"Should we...do it before we move to New York or after?"

"Hmm?"

"The wedding, Callie."

"Oh. I'll be right back."

Penny had thought she'd go to the kitchen. Get a glass of water or something, and then be back in her arms. But the front door opened and Callie walked out.

"What the hell?" Arizona gasped when she opened the front door.

"I...need to talk to you."

"You need to tell me why the hell you drove across town at 3 in the morning. Without calling me first. sofia's asleep, so you can't see her right n-"

Lips reached across the threshold and caught a corresponding pair. And then tongues lashed against each other. And in they went. Up the stairs, almost instinctively.

And landed on Arizona's bed.

This time there was no sound of a mortuary dummy hitting the floor. Only the sound of the mattress. Sheets. Compressed air. And Callie, kneeling down to take her ex-wife's leg off.

"Wait...stop."

Both women were frozen now. It had been Arizona who'd spoken. "We...can't do this. Not tonight."

"I need to talk. And I need you to listen."

The tone, and look in Callie's face, made Arizona nod. And pat the spot next to her on the bed.

The soft bedclothes and mattress curved under Callie's weight, and both women sat facing each other in a dark room lit only by a bedside lamp. And the necklace Callie wore.

"I've been grieving since I walked out of that therapist's office," the Latina began.

"So have I," Arizona stated, "it's what happens in a divorce. People-"

"For the person I was when I was with you," Callie continued – and interrupted.

"I'm not sure I..."

"I've been in so much pain, Arizona. We hurt each other. Real bad."

"Oh Callie..."

"Never call me that. Ever. I'm Calliope. YOUR Calliope."

"You're engaged to Penny."

"I'm..." Callie began to cry. "Engaged to Penny. And moving across the country. And and and...god, I'm so stupid!"

"You've moved on. We both have, remember?"

"I'm grieving for who I as when I was with you," Callie said, "and it's getting worse each day."

"You need therapy for that, Callie."

"It's Calliope! Say my name right!"

"Why?"

Callie raised a hand and let it linger in the air...looking at confused, and then calm, blue eyes. Asking for permission. Which was given in the form of a slow nod.

Permission to stroke Arizona's left cheek.

"Before I asked Penny to marry me," Callie explained, "we were having sex. Amazing sex. And when I was...climaxing...I said my name."

Arizona raised an eyebrow. "You said...your own name...during an orgasm?"

"I said it the way you say mine. When we're...when you're..."

"Use the past tense, please," Arizona corrected her, as the fingers on her cheek moved lower. To her neck. "You...imitated me saying your name during an orgasm."

"Yes. But...it was deeper than an imitation. It was..."

"And then you went out and bought an engagement ring the next day."

"I was scared."

"You were ready to get shot in the ribs to save a patient's life, but you were scared of what you said when you were in heat?"

"Stop mocking me!"

"I'm trying to understand why your grief should be more important than your happiness with Penny."

Two sets of angry eyes looked at each other. And then they pounced.

It started as a wrestling match, which Arizona made sure to lose. And wound up on her back with Callie panting on top of her. They'd both wanted to smack the living hell out of each other a few minutes earlier. Now they were...a second away from embracing.

It was a hug. Callie lay on top of her ex-wife, and they hugged.

At first.

And then it was a kiss. On each of Callie's cheeks. And then it was hands, and lips, and nipples, and pants flung across the room, and underwear torn off by two pairs of eager hands.

And then it was grinding hips. And grunting. And Callie being pushed off so Arizona's head could dive between her thighs.

It was anger. And then it was names: both saying each other's.

And then it was heavy breathing, next to each other. And Callie on top of her again. To talk some more.

"I want to grieve again," Callie whispered as a finger stroked Arizona's right cheek this time.

"You're hurting yourself, Callie."

"For the person I am when I'm not with you."