Serena's phone rang in her pocket and she was curious as to who could be ringing her - Jason would almost definitely be in bed, Elinor was unlikely to call without reason and she was still in the hospital so they couldn't be calling her in. Looking at the caller ID, she saw that it was Bernie and smiled subconsciously as she answered the call and raised it to her ear.

"Hi Bern', what's up?" Serena questioned softly as she signed off on her last patient and headed back to the office - she'd stopped calling it hers only a few weeks after Bernie had moved in, she didn't mind sharing.

"Up for a bottle of Shiraz and a chat when you get off?" Bernie asked, and even through the phone Serena could sense there was a frown on her face as she spoke. "I could do with the company."

"Of course, I was just about to leave actually. I don't fancy Albie's with the day shift rush - meet at my place instead? I've got plenty in." Serena didn't really care about how busy the pub was, but she wanted to know what was wrong, and she knew that Bernie would never talk if she was surrounded by her colleagues.

"Brilliant, I'm on the bench anyway because I thought you'd want to go out. I'll wait here for you and you can drive me to yours." Bernie's smile could be heard in her tone, all it took was the prospect of spending time with Serena to cheer her up. "See you in a minute."

"Okay, bye." Serena grinned as she hung up and slipped her phone back in to her pocket, grabbing her coat from the stand by the door and picking up her bag, not even bothering to search for the paperwork she had wanted underneath Bernie's mess.

As she headed out of the office, Fletch was headed in her direction and she just shyly avoided eye contact with him. There was no way she was going to leave Bernie sitting on the bench outside waiting for the rest of the night while she got dragged in to staying longer than she ought to. Sliding in to the lift, she watched the doors close and exhaled softly as she descended.

The busy atmosphere of the ED barely fazed her as she headed for the door and walked out in to the brisk chill of the evening. From where she was stood, she could see the bench, and the outline of the woman who sat on it.

"Hey, one of those days?" Serena offered as Bernie looked up to smile at her, rising from where she had been sat and started to walk towards the car park.

"Something like that." Bernie admitted weakly, reaching for the brunette's arm and tucking her own around it snugly. 'I think it's just been lonely."

"You could've come to see me- I mean you would've had to deal with some paperwork, and I would've made you tidy up the mess you've made of the office, but you could've come to see me nevertheless." Serena was only half-joking, using a wry smile to cover the seriousness of what she was saying. "So, Shiraz and cigarettes and some down time? I couldn't ask for a better evening."

"Nor could I." The blonde smiled as they reached the silver Citroen C4 and both walked towards their respective doors.

Neither woman spoke as they got in to the car and started to drive, they simply turned on the radio and silently listened. It was what Bernie called an airlock - establishing a fine line between their lives at work, and their lives away from work. There were certain things in her life that she would never discuss with a colleague, but would disclose to a friend.

After 9 minutes and 24 seconds, if Bernie could count correctly, they pulled in to Serena's drive and got out - leaving the silence behind them.

"Head straight out and we'll sit on the patio for a while, it's a nice night…and our deepest conversations always end best when we're outside. I'll get a bottle and some glasses." Serena offered as they headed through the front door of her snug semi-detached.

Without a second thought, Bernie headed through to the back of the house and let herself through the patio door. She took a seat on the bench just outside the window, feeling odd in how much it resembled the bench that they had shared on many a fag break.

Meanwhile, the brunette had headed upstairs to poke her head in on Jason and see if he was alright. Finding her nephew sleeping soundly under the duvet, Serena smiled before heading back downstairs to grab a bottle.

"I never realised how much I missed England, while I was over there I mean." Bernie began, as Serena stepped out of the patio door with two glasses full of Shiraz. "I knew I missed my children, and to some extent my husband. I missed certain things that I couldn't have taken with me, but I never realised how much I missed this."

"This?" Serena questioned coolly as she handed over one of the glasses and took a seat beside the blonde.

"The country itself - cold nights in the middle of June with a sky so cloudy you can barely see the stars, the unpredictability of weather meaning you need to bring a change of clothes on a warm day. Having the time to appreciate terrible weather." Bernie speculated. "My life was so hectic, I never had a minute to myself and now that I have time, I wonder if anything that happened over there was ever real."

"I can't imagine it could be any more real than that. You spent years living in the heat of the moment, never thinking twice and never taking a minute to look backwards. Bern', you have to forgive yourself for Alex - it was a different world." Serena swallowed dryly, struggling to tell her to forgive herself, when she still struggled to think about it. "You can't start pretending that it meant nothing."

"I went to see her." Bernie admitted, a tinge of guilt in her tone. "Yesterday night I drove over to London to see her - I was surprised she agreed but I think she needed it just as much as me, to know either way."

"What happened?"

"We talked, we kissed, we slept, we ate. We spent time together." Bernie commented easily. "I was hoping it would be the same at it always was - over there, being in her company was enough to set my senses on fire. But I felt nothing, when we actually try to be together - casually, without saving lives or getting shot at - it's not the same."

"You really think it was a side effect of being out there? Honestly?" Serena speculated curiously, sipping from her glass as she neared the end of it.

"I believe that I loved her, but that was then. Sometimes people aren't cut out for everyday life. She was the first woman I ever truly loved, and there'll always be a space in my heart for her because she made me realise who I was, who I was always supposed to be. I love her for that, at least." The blonde swallowed loudly, glancing across to see Serena looking intensely towards the sky. "The Major loved Alex, always has and always will, but I'm not her…not anymore. Bernie Wolfe of Holby City Hospital is a completely different person."

"I'm quite inclined to say that I prefer her." Serena responded sweetly as she topped up their glasses and turned slightly.

The two women chatted for hours, they hadn't returned to the house until past ten and by the time that either one of them even thought about it, it was already almost 1am. They'd been through four bottles of Shiraz between them, taking glass after glass without a second thought as they relished in the company of one another.

"You're going to have to stay in the spare roo-Fuck. You'll have to share my bed." Serena offered drunkenly, she could see that Bernie was about to object as she raised her hand to stop her. "I promise I don't bite. I'm not forcing you on to that sofa for the night, it's unpleasant at the best of times."

"'Rena, I'm sure it'll be fine. I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable." Bernie was struggling to stay reasonable through the curtain of alcohol which blurred not only her vision, but her common sense.

"Bern' I'll be fine. You may be gay but I don't believe the stereotype that every lesbian is a sexual predator, and you're certainly not going to target me! I'm not exactly ripe pickings for those with a more 'refined' taste, shall we say." Serena smugly giggled in to her wine glass, about to finish it off and call an end to her drinking for the night.

"Serena Campbell, don't you dare flaunt your poor self-confidence in my face - you're beautiful and you know it! Any man in the hospital would jump in a supply cupboard with you the second they got the go ahead, with the possible exception of Dom." Bernie arched an eyebrow in exclamation, mildly concerned that she had been a little unabashed in her response. "If I were a sexual predator, I'm sure I would target you. That's the most preposterous route I've ever taken to giving a compliment but there you go!"

"Oh please!" Serena rolled her eyes as she flopped sideways to rest her head against Bernie's shoulder, weakly smiling in her brazen and exposed state. The blonde moved her free hand to rest against Serena's petite waist, giving it an affectionate squeeze as she took the last of her wine down and placed the empty glass upon the wooden arm of the bench. "Would you really?"

"What? Target you as sexual prey?" Bernie sniggered as she creased her brows in interest.

"Be attracted to me. If you didn't know me, and we didn't work together, and I wasn't your go-to drinking buddy." Serena was deadly serious in her questioning - her state of mind had been somewhat inhibited and she wasn't thinking about what she was saying very much. Bernie knew at this point that she was too drunk to remember anything that was said, as was she.

"Why do you think I came over to you? On that first day, when your insurance company was being obnoxious and you didn't know what to do. I was attracted to you, I don't give free labour to just anyone you know." Bernie responded candidly - when she had first seen Serena, she hadn't thought of her as 'girlfriend material', but she had definitely found her company all the more enticing courtesy of her charming eyes and rather luxurious figure. "You're stunning Serena, no ifs, ands or buts."

"I wish the rest of the world believed that." Serena muttered, sniggering to herself. The brunette still had her head resting against Bernie's shoulder and she was glad that her face couldn't be seen, nor could the tears in her eyes. "I wish anyone would believe that."

"Maybe you should." Bernie proffered as she tilted her head back to look up at the sky. Her will power was faltering in this moment, and it was taking everything in her not to prove to Serena just how beautiful she was. "I wish you'd believe that, 'Rena, I really do."

"This wine's made you delirious, dear." Serena giggled, turning further towards Bernie so that she could wrap her own arm around Bernie tightly. "D'you know I think you're my favourite person in the whole wide world? My daughter means everything to me, as does Jason - but I think if the world was ending, you're the person I'd want standing beside me through it."

"You too, Serena, you too." Bernie exhaled her words calmly, reaching for the pack of Marlboros she had tucked in her pocket and pulling one out before lighting it with the Zippo she kept tucked inside. "Sometimes I wonder what I would've done if I'd ended up in Holby without you, I'd probably be face down in my own vomit in Albies right now."

Serena reached up aimlessly to take the cigarette from between Bernie's lips and take a drag before returning it. Smoke billowed from her lips as she relaxed against the soft, warm body of her colleague.

"Let's do blowbacks and feel like rebellious teenagers all over again." Serena had a sense of mischief in her voice as she sat up and crossed her legs, turning to face Bernie with enthusiasm only to be faced by a look of disdain from the blonde. "Pretty please, Bern'."

"Are you ever going to grow up?" Bernie asked with a smirk, rolling her eyes as she moved the cigarette and tucked it between her teeth, cupping her hands around her mouth and leaning towards Serena. There was a long moment of calm silence as Serena took the fag in between her lips and inhaled deeply.

As a veil of tensity settled over the atmosphere, Bernie dropped the smoke from between her teeth and let it fall to the floor before stamping it with her boot.

"We've got work in less than 15 hours, we should go to bed if you want to be fit for theatre tomorrow." Serena pointed out, eager to break the silence as she settled her hands on each of Bernie's denim-covered knees. "This Shiraz has proven quite lethargic, it would seem."

"Stay here, just for another minute." Bernie whispered in to the cool night as she placed her own hands on top of Serena's, weakly smiling. "I want this moment to last a little longer. I want to breathe, and acknowledge the fact that I'm here in this moment with the person that means the most to me. "

Serena watched Bernie as she stared mindlessly away down the garden, admiring the beautiful simplicity in being a part of such a precious moment. Her fingers ran absently against the study denim of the blonde's jeans as she appreciated what she was feeling. Bernie allowed a single tear to roll down her cheek - not a tear of sadness, nor a tear of joy - and she made no attempt to catch it as it slipped down towards her jaw and hung there before dripping down to land upon their entwined hands.

Even in a moment of such calm, Bernie struggled to relax. It was a side effect of spending so long in the army, so long expecting danger…she exhaled her worries and returned her gaze to the brunette, only to meet the hazel eyes she had become so familiar with.

"Sometimes I feel like I could lock forever in one moment, I feel like that right now. What I would give to be able to stay right here, like this, until the day my heart stops beating…" Serena's speech trailed off as she focused her attention on the woman sat across from her. "Don't you ever wish that you could choose who you loved?"

"Don't we all?" Bernie responded, no scent of humour in her voice as she held their gaze.

"It's simply not in the nature of love to be convenient, love is independent of all else…that is its fatal flaw." A lonely tear leaked from her left eye and trickled down her face. "If only you could love who you wanted, and more to the point, love those who wanted you. Edward never loved me, never wanted me…it'd be nice to feel wanted."

"'Rena, Edward was an arse and you know that. Loving someone is about more than wanting them, it's about needing them and feeling like you'll break if they're not there. Feeling like they're a fundamental part of you." Bernie pinched the inside of her cheek between her teeth as she felt a sense of regret creep in to the sobering corners of her mind.

"Make me feel wanted, Bern'. You don't have to love me, or need me - I just want to feel wanted. Just for one moment, just for one second…I want to know what it's like. Even if neither of us remember it in the morning." Serena pleaded lowly, her fingers paused in their subtle stroking of the blonde's knees as she faltered in what she had asked. "I just want to know what it feels like."

"You make a very valid point - neither of us are likely to remember this in the morning so I can say this without fear of it ending sourly." Bernie hummed, tightening her grip on Serena's hands as she spoke. "Every time you ever meet my eye, every time your voice reaches my ears, every time you take a breath - you are wanted. You are wanted, and you are needed, and you are loved. If only you'd believe me…"

"Make me believe you." Serena's voice was barely above a whisper as she leant towards Bernie and placed a gentle kiss against the blonde's lips. The meeting of their lips was not sexual, nor was it romantic in the most refined sense of the word…it was tender, and pure, and delicate- and utterly brief. Bernie drew back from the kiss with a glow in her cheeks, she had not stopped because she wanted to stop, more so because she didn't want it to happen as it had. "I-"

Bernie lifted a hand and ran it against the woman's sharp cheekbone to silence her, before forcing her to meet her eye line and showing her - without action, without words - that she was wanted. Time was a relative concept, and neither of them bothered to think about anything besides themselves for however long they sat there.

"Time for bed now I think, Miss Campbell." Bernie uttered as she dropped her hand and shifted to stand up. Grabbing their two glasses, and the empty bottles - she placed them on the counter closest to the patio door before returning to offer a hand to Serena, in order to guide her up the stairs. "You'll have to lead the way."

Noiselessly, the pair of them made their way up the stairs and into Serena's bedroom. In her inebriated state, the brunette didn't even think before drawing her white chiffon blouse over her head to reveal a taught torso and black lace bra. Her trousers followed suit to puddle around her on the floor, as she reached for the shirt at the end of the bed and threw it over herself before unclipping her bra and slipping it off to join the pile of clothing at the foot of the bed. Bernie watched, in awe of what she was witnessing, before distracting herself with her own preparation for bed - she unlaced her boots and slipped them off before loosening the buckle on her belt and allowing her jeans to pool at her ankles. The striped white shirt followed leaving her in a simple tank top and underwear, she reassembled her clothing a little more neatly before climbing in to the side of the bed closest to her.

"Goodnight Bern'." Serena breathed in to the black of the room, only to hear a quiet response followed by silence. For about fifteen minutes, there was uncomfortable shuffling around in order to find comfort before the brunette huffed aloud and flummoxed on to her back. "Would you…?"

Bernie was about to ask her what it was she wanted, but she already knew the answer so easily rolled closer to Serena and lay her arm against her silk-covered midriff. Serena smiled in to the dark room before shifting on to her side, back facing the blonde, only to be tugged a little closer and held a little tighter. As she drifted to sleep, she felt a light, half-hearted kiss against her shoulder.