A Dragon Rider's Heart

Chapter 15

A/N: Sorry, not sorry for the cliffy.

So very sorry it has been so long my loves. There has been a LOOOOT going on in life atm, but hopefully things will be on track for the next little bit.

Also, just wanted to add that the next few chapters might be a bit dark. I think my overall outlook might be to blame for some of it, but I did intend for the story to have a darker tone at some point from the start.

Anyways. ON WITH THE FIC!

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Astrid found herself in a world of darkness. Shadows upon shadows loomed and lunged at her, their distorted shapes just familiar enough to fill her with a sense of dread, though she couldn't place why. She found herself holding her axe and lashed out at one of them. Its head fell from its body and fire suddenly flared, casting it's light on the monster. Only it wasn't a monster anymore. It was Heather and she'd just killed her. She tried to scream in denial even as a part of her registered that this Heather was different from her lover, but no sound emerged. The other monsters revealed themselves to be her friends and their dragons, but they were so misshapen and distorted they were painful to look at. Still, her heart cried out in horror as her body moved of its own accord, weapon swinging through the air, hacking and slashing at them. Their voices were distorted, but she could still recognize their screams as she cut them down, one by one. All the while they simply looked at her with trusting eyes, not even trying to run or defend themselves as she killed them.

She tried to stop, tried to fight her body, but there was no use. She couldn't even cry. Finally, the slaughter was over and she heard an evil laughter. A moment later she recognized the warped voice and realized it was her own. She was laughing at having slaughtered her friends. Her heart felt like it was breaking as the cruel laughter went on and on.

Finally, with a wrench that seemed to tear at her soul, she was able to break free of the horrible vision. She felt her eyes open, but could still see only darkness. She found her voice and screamed in horror and pain as she tried to move and her muscles convulsed. Her throat felt like it was full of broken glass. Voices sounded around her, but she couldn't make out the words and then she felt hands descend on her, holding her painfully in place.

Panic consumed her and she tried to fight, lashing out and screaming wordlessly. She felt her mouth being wrenched open and liquid poured in. Before she could spit it out her mouth was snapped shut, a hand clamping firmly over her lips. It was either swallow or drown. Without knowing which she chose, she fell back into a different darkness.

And she was running. White and dead trees blurred around her, leaning in impossible angles and swaying in a breeze she couldn't feel. Shadows stretched and danced as the moon and stars swirled dizzyingly fast overhead. Something was chasing her. She tried to run faster, pushing herself to her limits, but she almost seemed to be running in place as it gained on her. The ground grew soft and she found herself suddenly in thick, wet mud. It was holding her in place. She couldn't lift her feet and, to her horror, she fell forward. Her arms buried themselves almost halfway to her elbows in the thick mass with the force of her fall. She was trapped, unable to move as her mysterious pursuer drew even closer. It lunged, glowing red eyes and long sharp teeth filling her vision.

Then she was struggling as hands held her down, forcing more liquid into her mouth. She was choking, coughing, drowning. The sea spread all around her, grey sky riddled with clouds and lightning and waves dashing her around, pulling her over and under until she wasn't sure which direction was up or what was air and what was water.

With a terrified jerk, the vision changed again. She was bound, arms and legs tied to the surface she was lying on. Everything was grey on grey, shapes and colors eluded her. Her body was wracked with pain and she could barely move to fight her bonds.

"Is she coming around?" A voice asked from somewhere far away.

"No." A tired voice replied. "She's still in the visions. It's mostly out of her system, but we have no way of knowing how permanently it will affect her."

She snarled at the unfamiliar voices and renewed her struggles to break free. She felt something cool being laid over her eyes, shutting out the light. She snapped her teeth and tried to toss her head, wanting to remove the obstruction, but more hands were holding her down. After a few moments, she felt her burst of energy leave her and her body relaxed, despite her intense desire to be free. She felt herself slipping again.

"What can we do?" The voice was quieter now, as if the speaker had moved even further away.

"Nothing. It's up to her now."

And she was falling; falling through a world of swirling colors and shapes. They didn't make any kind of sense to her and the feeling of motion made her sick. She rolled over on her side, not even aware enough to be surprised as a basin was placed below her mouth to catch what little stomach contents she had as she wretched violently. She had time to register that she was no longer bound and that the world wasn't grey anymore, though everything was still too fuzzy for her to realize where she was, before she fell back into the realm of confusing colors and shapes.

The next time she woke, she could actually register that she was awake. She panicked slightly when she opened her eyes and saw only darkness, before realizing a damp, cool cloth was over them. She lifted her hand, wincing as her joints and muscles protested the movement and shakily pulled it off. Light struck her eyes painfully and she immediately closed them. After a few timid blinks, her eyes began to adjust and she looked around. She realized she was in a hut, but whose, she couldn't tell. Furs had been hung from pegs to section off her bed from the rest of the room. Bright sunlight was streaming in through the open window near her. Everything was hazy, like she was looking through a film, but no amount of blinking could clear her vision. She swallowed a sudden lump in her throat and it was so dry it was almost painful. Her mouth felt like a desert.

She squinted and looked around. The fact the her vision wasn't clearing was alarming, but she couldn't concentrate past her thirst. Finally, after a long moment, she made out a cup on a small table near her. Shakily, she tried to sit up and reach for it, but couldn't find the strength. She felt as weak as a newborn. Tears pricked her eyes in frustration. She refused to give up. Slowly, painfully, she scooted herself upwards in increments, propping her head and shoulders against the wall. When she was mostly upright, she again reached for the cup. Her fumbling fingers knocked it off and it hit the floor with the sound of breaking clay.

Immediately, she heard a gasp from beyond the furs and footsteps coming towards her. The furs were jerked aside so roughly, she heard one of them tear. A moment later, a slender, dark haired form was at her bedside. She blinked futilely to try and make out who it was.

"Astrid!" It was Heather. "Oh, thank the gods!"

Astrid's heart leapt joyfully in her chest. She opened her mouth to greet her love, but the only sound she could make was a croak. She fumbled painfully, trying to reach for her, but her arms wouldn't move right. She felt Heather take her hand almost immediately.

"Shh. Shh. Love. I'm here." Her voice sounded thick, as if she were on the verge of tears. Astrid squeezed her hand as best she was able and let herself go limp, tears swimming into her own eyes. She tried to swallow, but couldn't and gestured as best she could towards her throat. "Do you need water?" Heather asked. She nodded. "One second. I put some right here for you." She let go of the blonde's hand and Astrid immediately felt adrift. "Let me get a cup. I'll be right back. I promise." Heather told her urgently.

Astrid heard her move swiftly away. No matter what was going on with her body, Heather was OK. She'd made it out unharmed. That was all she needed in life. A bell sounded and a few moments later Heather was back. Astrid heard her pour water into the cup. She felt it press against her lips and she eagerly opened her mouth. She gulped down a few desperate swallows and almost choked.

"Slowly, lover. Slowly. Give yourself a moment." Astrid did her best to swallow more carefully, but she was so thirsty. She'd never been more thirsty in her life. When the cup was empty she sighed happily and tried to thank her. Again, all that came out was an odd croaking noise. "No. Don't try to speak." Heather said quickly.

One of her hands came up to cup the side of Astrid's face and she leaned her face against it. Slowly, painfully, she turned her head so she could brush her lips over her love's palm. She was trying desperately to remain calm, but her body was no longer under her control. She couldn't see, couldn't speak and could barely move. What in the world had happened to her?

Before she could begin to gather her thoughts, she heard a grouping of footsteps pounding towards them. And, suddenly, there were far too many voices for her addled brain to comprehend. She tried to shake her head, to lift her arms to cover her ears and block out some of the sound, but her body would not cooperate. Her useless eyes could only make out the vaguest details of movement and color, just enough to be confusing and alarming. Her lungs felt like they were closing in her chest and she couldn't seem to find enough air. The panic she'd been fighting blazed through her veins and she jerked madly, her only thought was that she had to get away from the overwhelming noise and sense of motion. She felt someone's hand grasp her shoulder and she tried to collapse in on herself to break free of the touch, feeling trapped.

"Enough!" A surprisingly deep female voice boomed. Astrid jerked again in fright, a broken whimper slipping past her lips. "Clear out and give her some air! Can't you see you're only making it worse? Let me have a look at her and then, if she is up for it, you can come back and visit with her one at a time. Until such time as I say otherwise, make yourselves scarce." Her voice brooked no argument.

Astrid tried desperately to calm herself as she heard a chorus of mumbled apologies and the quiet shuffle of feet as the people left. Her breaths were coming in sharp, painful gasps and she felt a trickle of sweat roll down her spine. She shivered, suddenly cold as someone moved towards her.

"There, there child. All is well." The woman said soothingly. Her voice was rough from age, but still very clear. "I'm Beathag. Heather, would you mind going and heating some water?"

"Of course!" The dark haired rider said quickly.

Astrid didn't want her to leave, but was unable to protest. The healer hummed softly under her breath. "Don't worry. She'll be back soon enough. The lass has been by your side almost every moment. Can't get a thing done the way she hovers." She grumbled, though Astrid swore she could hear an affectionate undertone now.

So many different things to process. Her tired mind couldn't keep up. What was going on? Where was she? Why was she injured? What had happened to her sight? Suddenly, her hands were grasped by another pair, old and firm. The unexpected and unfamiliar grip was enough to startle her from her thoughts.

"Be calm." The healer ordered. "I know you have questions, lass. All will be revealed in good time. Now. Let me look you over. That's a good girl." She soothed as Astrid let herself relax. "I'm going to help you lie down." She warned as she moved to grasp the blonde's shoulders.

Astrid winced as her body rejected the movement, but tried to let herself relax as she was gently laid back on the mattress. The healers hands moved swiftly over her body, tugging on her arms gently and testing the range of motion in them. It was painful, very painful, but Astrid merely grit her teeth and endured it. After a few long and painful minutes the old healer finally finished, having tugged at each part of her down to her toes.

"Your muscles are recovering. I don't think you're going to have much loss of mobility. But you must rest. No more hopping around in the bed."

Astrid tried to nod her consent. The tiniest jerk was all she could manage, but Beathag obviously understood. Astrid took in the fact that her body would recover. She was as weak as a newborn, but it was heartening to know that she would recover. Now her only worries were her voice and eyesight. She wracked her brain, trying to find a way to communicate this, before deciding that the easiest way would be to actually try to speak again.

She opened her mouth, but Beathag shushed her before she could even attempt to make a sound. "Hush now. Your vocal chords were damaged during your... "She hesitated a moment before continuing. "When you were injured." She finished. Astrid frowned at the amendment, and heard the healer chuckle. "All in good time. You have to give yourself a chance to heal. I have some medicines here that will help make the process less painful. Later on, when you have recovered, we'll discuss some exercises to speed up your recovery. Your voice will return with your strength, but rest is the most important thing right now. You will only prolong the process by trying to rush yourself."

Astrid heard someone approaching and the healer made an approving sound. "Ah, good. Now we can begin. I want to get you cleaned up again before I give you anything for the pain, as it will make you sleep. Do not try to help!" She snapped. "I've been told about your independent nature, but Heather and I will be the ones helping you. You must let us tend to you. Yes?"

Astrid wanted to refuse. She hated for Heather to see her so helpless, but she couldn't see she had much choice. She nodded slightly and closed her eyes, trying to fight back her tears of frustration. She tried to pretend she was somewhere else as her lover and the healer, gently began to undress and wash her.

It wasn't until much later, after shed been dressed and fed and was lying swathed in blankets with the bitter taste of the healer's infusions still on her tongue, that she realized she'd forgotten to try and ask about her eyesight.

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I just want to say thank you all very much for the reviews! I love you guys so much. I PROMISE that this story will not be abandoned. I will continue it until the end, it just might take awhile.

Anyway. Until next time, loves! Ja!