Notes

LMAO though, for those who ship this pair after reading this,
I'm sorry for being a troll.

(I still don't ship them much)

When He's 26

It's the nth of such crisis since the day of Shinoa's attack.

Attack to his psyche, to be precise.

And her attacks are relentless, unstoppable. Now he's left with reeling mind and troubled heart.

Shinya is a calm and proper grown man in mid-twenties standing before his best friend's apartment door.

"GUREEEEN!" He bangs his fist to the wooden door, feeling his sanity slipping every minute. "GUREEEEN OPEN THE DOOR YOU BASTARD DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING HERE OR I'LL KICK THE DOOR OPEN!"

Angry footsteps is heard between his yelling. Quickly the door is opened to the disheveled Guren with a toothbrush in his mouth. "SHUT UP YOU BASTARD!" He shouts back, waving his toothbrush wildly.

However Shinya just pushes the guy out of his way then plasters himself on the couch, groaning on the upholstery.

"So what kind of mid-life crisis you got there, bastard?" Guren shouts from the bathroom where he continues brushing his teeth.

"You know what kind." Shinya mutters, putting an arm over his eyes.

"No, I don't." Guren throws a wet towel to his face and Shinya splutters. "At least, I don't know the story of this crisis."

The silver haired sits up, propping his elbows to his knees while Guren slouches beside him. "Last week, Sayuri gave me an advice."

Dark brow raises. "She did?"

"Yeah... she said—" He groans. "She said that I should reject her—kindly of course—if I don't want her to pursue her interest."

"So did you reject her?" Guren asks.

"I did," Shinya replies. "Today I met Shinoa-chan to reject her. And—"

"So you're rejecting me?" Shinoa asked.

"Uuuh yeah," he almost fidget—totally not something a grown up should do—eyes stared her straight. "I mean there's the age gap between us—"

"Totally not the problem," she interrupted. "I told you myself I'm almost 18."

"It's still a big age gap, Shinoa-chan," he protested. "You're young. You can find another—"

"Even though after apocalypse human population is pretty much down—"

"I mean you're beautiful, smart, and amazing," Shinya continued as if she hadn't interrupted. "Anyone would want you."

"Except for you?"

"I—" Because the tone she used—was the tone saying she was insecure, and he couldn't let her down even though he had to reject her. "I'm sorry, Shinoa-chan," he said instead.

"You know, I've loved you for a long time," she said in such small voice. Shinya stepped closer, feeling unsure if he should comfort her or not. "I didn't understand when I was young—especially since both you and Guren kept pursuing Mahiru-nee. But after she died, I was there. I saw you." The silver haired remembered, those crushing months after the apocalypse—after she died. Thinking of how useless his existent in the world, of the part of his heart feeling guilty for not saving her. "I've tried—so hard, when the world is destroyed. And you're not the same, but I—I still fall in love."

"Shinoa-chan—"

"Don't you know, how much I hated my sister?" She bit her lip. "Because she had the heart of the one I love—taking yours to her grave. It doesn't matter whatever I do, because the one you see when you look at me is a mirage of her."

He dug his nails to his palms. The pain in her voice reverberate his, tearing the heart inside his ribs.

"It's not like that—"

"Don't." She looked up, her brown eyes ablaze. "I've already known it for long. All you've ever wanted from me was to be your little sister—and a replacement. But I won't let it anymore," she said. "Because I love you as a woman—not a little sister you want—and I will make you see me clearly, no matter what."

Then she hauled him down by his coat unexpectedly and kissed him.

She smiled, "You're too defenseless, Shinya." The girl let go of him, stepped back and said, "You've always told me to never give up, so I won't."

Shinoa left him standing there on the rooftop, blinking in confusion.

"So, it's the 35th point for her and still none for you?"

"You're a jerk, Guren," he mutters to his palms.

It's true, he couldn't handle her advances. All he kept doing was blinking, being a statue or even worse—blushing so hard that's definitely should never happen for someone his age—especially if a 17 years old girl is the reason.

It's not as if he's inexperienced—he's in mid-twenties after all—but the fact that Shinoa reduces him to act like a bumbling prepubescent teenager is really gratifying. His pride is nowhere to be found, down in the ocean somewhere.

Come to think of it, who taught her to kiss? Because from the sparse kisses she took from him, she seemed quite experienced in kissing or flirting in general—giving how it always caught him off guard. He certainly hadn't raise her to be like that.

"What are you going to do?" Guren asks after awhile.

Shinya sighs, hearing his tone—the one Guren uses when he tries to be nonchalant even though he's not.

His relationship with Guren has always been complicated.

They're best friends. They competed for the same girl, the one they lost and had to shoulder the guilt of her death. They also were, well... best friends who had sex with complicated feelings.

They were teenagers, just after the apocalypse feeling lonely and lost with guilt. To ease the pain and forgetting the world for awhile, sex was a pretty amazing way. Still, years passed by and it became more complicated because their feelings were involved, as uncertain as they were. Once, Shinya thought that perhaps he and Guren could be something. They might, but in the fucked up world with their even more fucked up selves, that sort of thing was put in the backburner.

Then, Guren became a Namanari and everything went south.

He didn't blame Guren, he saw it himself when Mahiru degenerated from the demons inside herself. Didn't mean that Shinya wasn't angry of how Guren lied to him for years, never telling him of his problems, plans, especially the fact he was possessed by Mahiru.

Shinya had always thought that he was the closest to Guren, but in reality he was the person Guren kept secrets from and it hurt.

They might still best friends, nothing will ever change that. Still, Shinya is uncertain to trust Guren with his heart, and every vision of them to be them is lost.

"Guren..." He conveyed this to Guren before, why does he keep bringing it up?

The man sighs. "Sorry, Shinya." Guren rubs his face. "I just—"

"Yeah, yeah." Shinya claps his back. "Go to sleep Guren, you're tired."

"And you?"

"I'll just sit here in my lonesome." Guren stares him blankly. "Well, not so lonesome. Have any drink?"

"Vodka in the cupboard," the dark haired replies gruffly. "Don't burn my apartment while I'm sleeping."

"Ah, Guren, I feel honored by your words," he says with dramatic flair and Guren just slams the door in response.

He gets up to rummage the cupboard, then seat himself back to the couch and drinks the Vodka straight from the bottle.

Shinya still doesn't know what to do with Shinoa, nor about Guren's feeling for him. So he stares at the bottle intensely and says, "Just you and me right, Vodka?"

He pretends the Vodka says yes.

It's her birthday.

Which means she's 18 today.

Which is why he is sitting on a secluded chair inside a library.

He tries to read the words but everything seems blur to his eyes. He taps his fingers to the table—not because he's nervous—but because he's bored. Really, he's perfectly happy to be there, in such peaceful morning surrounded by books and the light from the window.

Shigure, however, doesn't think so.

"What?" The judging stare of hers has been on him for minutes. "I'm reading right here," he says. "If you're just appreciating my beauty, I'll give you an autograph."

She glowers. "Your book," she speaks blandly, "Is upside down."

Well shit, Shinya turns the book around, no wonder he can read nothing.

"Well, I'm just trying to hone my ability to read upside down so—"

Her judging stare intensifies. It's a testament to their friendship that he knows she practically says 'go fuck yourself' with her stare alone.

"The garden looks beautiful this morning," she says. "It may sooth your mind being surrounded by white snow."

Which translates to 'get the fuck out of this library', and 'stop being a flailing twat and just bury yourself in ice for fuck's sake'.

Shinya winces.

"And here I am," he sighs dramatically. "Thinking I'm being a good friend for you, by bonding our friendship with reading together inside such beautiful library."

Shigure's clearly not impressed by his speech. Her expression turns colder than the winter outside.

His preservation instinct, thankfully, kicks in. So he gathers himself and smiles. "Well, I'm going. Thank you for your companion." Then he escapes the library before he became a cushion for Shigure's weapons.

He hugs his coat tighter as he walks. The weather is freezing especially on this breezy hall. Right on before he turns left, he almost runs into Sayuri who's holding a big box.

"Watch out!" He clasps his hands on her shoulders. Thankfully, she doesn't stumble and her box isn't dropped.

She smiles. "Thank you, I thought I was going to fall."

"What is in this box, Sayuri?" He asks curiously.

"Oh, this is full of knitting equipment," she replies.

Sayuri tells him that she wants to make scarfs for everyone in their squad, which she'll give in New Year. She gives him spare lilac colored yarns and thus is how Shinya spends hours sitting in the alcove with Sayuri, knitting a scarf away.

The lilac color, is constantly haunting him, he decides. For it's the speck of color in someone's irises, and the shade of someone's hair. But really, he's 26 and he still lands himself in a drama involving two of his favorite persons. One, is someone he's really close to and another, is someone he used to think as his little sister.

Nowadays however, it's really hard to think of Shinoa as his little sister anymore. Not when she keeps advancing and constantly badgering him of the fact she's already a young woman. It makes him feel guilty. On one hand, feeling something to someone he used to think as his little sister feels wrong. On the other hand, a part of him thinks that it's fine to feel that way—especially since it's what Shinoa wants anyway.

He wonders if Mahiru would wake from the dead and kill him from perving on her baby sister.

Then again if she could, Shinya would be dead thousand times from having sex with her ex-lover.

There's also Guren. The man tries to keep his feelings for Shinya under wraps, however he still had burst of jealousy especially if he sees Shinya gets anywhere near Shinoa. Shinoa too, rises to the challenge. Nowadays when the girl meets Guren, then it'll be a battle of stare down. It would have been funny if Shinya doesn't want to tear himself from annoyance.

He groans. The war is over, yet now he's caught in a battle between two people. What even is his life.

"Shinya," Sayuri calls.

That startles him. He turns to the brunette—whose brows are furrowing. Beside her are three different colored scarfs already finished, and one in her lap that she still knits. "Yes, Sayuri?"

"Your scarf, that's too long."

"Huh?" He grabs his scarf and she's right. He must be deep in his thoughts that he keeps knitting even though the scarf is already meters long. "Oh my, this is a failure."

"No it's not," she assures. "Give me that, we can cut it into two scarf."

He breaths in relief. "Thank you Sayuri."

She nods in reply.

They keep silent as Sayuri fixes his scarf. Him, watching her dexterous fingers. Sayuri is amazing, really. She can cook, knit, and fight very well. Not to mention she's really pretty. Shinya should be with someone who's just like her, not like those two high-maintenance people around him.

"Shinya." The girl smiles at him, giving him the two finished lilac scarfs. "You should choose the person that you trust to give you happiness," she says.

He blinks, processing her words. Slowly, a small smile rises on his lips. "Thanks, Sayuri."

"I'm eighteen now," she says.

"Oh, hello Shinoa-chan, nice to see you too." He greets. "And happy birthday."

"Thank you." She smiles. Shinoa eyes the scarfs on his hands with interest. "Is that my present?"

He chuckles at her hopeful tone. "Well, one of them is." He grabs one lilac scarf and puts it around Shinoa's bare neck over her dark coat.

The girl touches the knitted scarf, feeling its—truthfully not good quality since it's his first time knitting—and burrows herself inside its warmth. "Thank you," she says softly.

He shouldn't feel his heart beating hard, he shouldn't.

"Is that—" She points to the scarf on his hand. "Is that for him?"

"Actually—yeah, it is." Shinya almost winces from the dark look she's showing. He sighs, "Shinoa-chan—"

"A kiss," she interrupts. "I know that you still have feelings for thatman. I can't condone you for giving presents for both of us." She looks up determinedly. "I'm 18 now, and I want to know if I have a sliver of your heart. So, I want a kiss as a gift for my birthday," she says. "If—if you don't feel anything from the kiss, then I would back out and never disturb you about this matter anymore."

Shinya rubs his palm over his face. He doesn't know what to do, giving into her demand or not. The problem is, he's not sure if he could control his feeling when he kisses her. But...

He glances at the girl. Her jaw is set and expression serious. However her eyes are telling what's inside her mind. There's love, fear, and pain in them.

What should he do?

"Are you afraid that you'll fall for me?" She asks in cocky tone, completely different from her actual emotions. He almost rolls his eyes. Hiragi's pride, really.

"Fine." He leans down to reach her, fingers over her cheeks. Shinoa's brown eyes, big and full of emotions flick to his lips. So does his, looking at the pink lips which had stolen kisses from him before.

Now, is different, because it's him who'll kiss her.

"Ready?" He asks and she nods.

Slowly, he touches his lips to hers, feeling the soft texture of her lips. Then her arms grabs his shoulders as she tilts her head and opens her mouth.

Everything goes downhill from there.

It takes some time until they separated. Disheveled hair, swollen and spit-slicked lips, and the silver haired freaks out.

Shinya groans into his palm, neck and cheeks warm from blood rush. They kissed—with tongues and all—and he shouldn't have being such a complete idiot because that kiss right there, is pretty much too passionate for him to do. Where the hell is his self-control?

Before him, Shinoa is still staring with glassy eyes. Her lips—don't look at her lips—and her cheeks are red as she absentmindedly put her fingers over her mouth.

"You—" Then she laughs freely. "So what's the verdict?" She beams brightly, looking very much like a cat successfully caught the canary.

He rolls his eyes but still can't stop the soft smile spreading. "Yeah, yeah I get it," he says. "Do your worst, Shinoa-chan."

The answering smile is breathtaking.

"Are you happy?" Guren asks.

They're standing beside each other, both in suits of different colors. For Guren is the best man and he, the groom.

Blue eyes staring at the people dancing, the bridesmaids in their white dresses—including Yuu since Shinoa and Mitsuba forced him into a dress and blackmailed him—and the men in black suits and blue ties. Behind the music sheets was Mika playing such beautiful songs for them to dance with a violin, along with Mito on the piano.

It's the girl in the middle, dancing with Kimizuki who takes the spotlight. Her ashen hair is cut short to her neck behind the veil. The white wedding dress sways as she moves. Her smile is bright, makes her brown eyes twinkle in happiness.

She's 23, and now she's his wife.

Shinya grins. I won't give up, she said. It was a turbulent of emotions, certainly an adventure to last him a life time. Nevertheless, he never thought that her persistent would get him to this place, but here he is.

"Yes, I am," he replies.

Guren smiles. "Good."

Shinoa glances them, beaming as she waves her hand. It's infectious, Shinya can't help but smiling back at her.

"Yeah well—" Guren shoves his back. Shinya shoots him incredulous look. "Go to your wife, Shinya. Stop standing here." Then he raises an eyebrow. "Go get her, tiger."

Shinya laughs and claps his shoulder before leaving to take her hand.

When they look at each other—him leaning down with his arms around her waist and her arms around his neck while she raises to her tip toes—he thinks, that it might be a lifetime for them.

And Shinya—with her lips on his—is pretty much on board with that.

Notes

THE END!