I was watching Goblet of Fire a few weeks ago, and when Rita commented on Harry feeling at home in the cupboard, I was angry of course, but then I wondered how she could possibly know his room was in a cupboard. Then I remembered her Animagus form, and if she knew that – she must have seen Harry in his cupboard at some point, or something along those lines. Of course, this is just the movie version where she said that line, but I thought I'd roll with it all the same. And…this sprang forth.

Warnings: language, slightly crass mentions of sex, slight Dumbledore and Ron bashing

…

Harry was glad that, when he entered the room for the Champions' interviews, it was Rita Skeeter there with her notebook, quill, and photographer. He hid his delight however, pretending cluelessness, as was his mask in front of everyone else.

"Should we start with the youngest? Lovely!"

He pretended reluctance and slight resistance as Rita grabbed his arm and dragged him off to a door out of way, in the back of the room. He knew that the others were still watching, after all, and he had an image to uphold.

He went first through the door, realizing in the darkened interior that it was a cupboard. Rita closed the door behind her, before pressing herself close to him in a teasing manner.

"This is cozy," she purred.

"It's a broom cupboard," Harry deadpanned, doing nothing to push away the woman he saw as an older sister or an aunt.

"Hm," Rita agreed. "You should feel right at home, then!"

"Really?" Harry rolled his eyes as Rita walked further into the cupboard. Even for her, that was a rather bitchy comment. After all, she had been the one to find him bloodied and bruised in his locked cupboard when he was five years old. She knew how he felt about his experience living at the Dursleys'.

Rita sighed and turned her head slightly to look at him from the corner of her eye.

"Perhaps that was a bit far," she hedged, and then sat down on an overturned bucket. Harry knew it was as much as an apology as he was going to get, and let it go, sitting down across from her.

"So, how's the year been?" Rita said conversationally. "Any idea who put your name in the Goblet?"

Harry shrugged and leaned back casually against the wall. "I might've said Dumbledore, considering his M.O. for putting me in dangerous situations, but I think as far as he goes, he's just letting it happen. He could've stopped it, or made some sort of change, but I think he just wanted to see how I'd react. It was probably one of the visitors from other schools."

"Hm," Rita said thoughtfully, gazing at the ceiling before snapping her eyes down to meet his. "And your friends? Does anyone else believe you?"

Harry snorted. "Hermione does, and Draco. 'Course, Draco can't exactly make that widely known, so he's made childish little badges to hand around to everyone instead that calls Diggory the 'real champion'."

"Well, he did still have yet to retaliate after you replaced his shampoo with glue." Rita pointed out with a careless smirk.

"Oh, no – he made a point of telling me that this wasn't him getting back at me – said it was too weak," Harry somehow scoffed and snorted simultaneously. "Anyway, Ron is being a jealous prat because yet again, I'm getting more fame than him – as though I can help it. I don't think Fred and George believe me, but they also don't care whether I did it or not. They just think it's a great prank, and are supporting me either way."

"I'll have to fly around, see what I can find out," Rita decided. "Surely someone knows something."

Harry shrugged. "At least this competition has shown me who I can really trust. But as soon as I find out the bastard that is trying to kill me – again – I'm going to bury him in the ground. I'm sick of this shit of being in danger every year."

"Yes, you were even gloating this summer about how the TriWizard Tournament would mean you could have a normal year, since you weren't even able to enter," Rita reminisced with a snort.

Harry sighed regretfully. "Yeah. Sirius told me I was jinxing myself just saying it out loud – I should've believed him." His eyes snapped to hers. "Speaking of Sirius, how are you coming along with finding the evidence to exonerate him?"

"Fairly well," Rita said with a sharklike grin. "I estimate that he'll be able to have a trial by Christmas – and by then it will be merely a formality."

"And your leads on finding Pettigrew?" Harry pressed. "Is that part of the plan in freeing him, or are we just focusing on the evidence portion?"

"Half and half," Rita said with a shrug. "I've had a few leads on Pettigrew, but I need to check them out before I make any promises. Nasty bugger is doing a very good job of hiding."

"And that of course says a lot, coming from the queen of finding people herself," Harry observed.

"I found you, didn't I?" Rita said with a raised brow.

"It took you four years."

"I still found you," Rita dismissed. "Though of course I'd been expecting a pampered prince, and a few family photos before being on my way."

"You mean incriminating photos," Harry corrected with a smirk. "Though I don't know what you expected to find a five year old doing that could go on the front page."

"And instead I found a boy's family in need of some dark curses," she said primly, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Well, it has been better after you've started coming around so often," Harry said. "And of course the news that I have a godfather who went to jail for murder certainly helps keep them at bay. Mostly they just ignore me now."

Rita sneered. "Idiot Muggles," she practically snarled. "I should've killed them nine years ago, and you wouldn't have had to deal with them at all."

Harry sighed. "And then I would've been even more firmly under Dumbledore's thumb, and you would be in Azkaban," he pointed out. "We've been over this."

"I'll just have to drop by soon, and hex them a bit," Rita decided. "They do need a Christmas present from the girl they've known so long, no?"

Harry rolled his eyes, but he let it go. "Speaking of Dumbledore, are you doing any better and finding news to discredit him?"

"Well, I was thinking that I could write about it in the Champions' article tomorrow," Rita started, continuing when Harry was about to cut her off with a protest, "But then I remembered that it might not go as well for your little Gryffindor image. So, what do you want me to say in the article about you?"

"The usual," Harry shrugged uncaringly. "I'm sure you'll do just fine making me look helpless to the rest of the Wizarding World."

"Hm," Rita agreed, thinking as she tapped her quill on her lip. "I could say something about 'eyes swimming with the ghosts of his past', mention your parents' sacrifice a time or two…"

"Say that I'm twelve," Harry suggested. At her incredulous look, he explained, "Of course people know that I'm fourteen, considering everyone remembers Halloween 1981, but their immediate response to seeing 'boy of twelve' would be sympathy, because of how young I am."

Rita nodded in agreement, catching on to what he meant. "And even if they correct themselves right after reading it, their subconscious will still have them thinking how young you are. Fourteen isn't even too big of a gap from twelve, and I'm sure they'll realize that," she finished, jotting down a couple of notes in her little notebook.

She looked back up at him thoughtfully. "Should I focus on you specifically, or should it be a couple of paragraphs for each Champion?"

Harry shrugged carelessly. "Whichever – I don't mind. This time though, can you just try and spell their names right?"

Rita smirked at him. "But, Harry, you know that's not my M.O.," she purred. "After all, angry people are…"

"…more likely to reveal something they didn't mean to – yes, I know," Harry cut her off with a roll of his eyes. He got to his feet. "For how long we've been in here, they're probably going to think we're having sex by now."

"Well, it is a broom cupboard," Rita said innocently, getting to her feet as well and tucking her notebook away.

"The only one I'd consider having sex in a broom cupboard with is Tracey," Harry smirked, moving towards the door. "And even then, Mr. Davis would come after me if he ever found out I'd deflowered his little angel while she was just fourteen."

"Harry," Rita stopped him with a hold on his arm, and he looked at her to see an uncharacteristic look of concern on her face.

"How are you doing - really?" she asked him. "I know you were already stressed about getting Sirius free – even if you won't admit it – and that staying at the Dursleys' couldn't have been easy this summer when you knew how close you were to never going back…and no one would like Dumbledore constantly watching them at school, and then with the chaos of a fourth champion and most of Hogwarts turning against you…" She shrugged guiltily at the look on his face. "I'm just concerned for you. I know you're more powerful than most fourteen-year-olds, but these tasks are designed to kill seventeen-year-olds. And if you're distracted because of all of the stress…"

"Rita, I'm fine," Harry said gently. "I know you'll be able to get Sirius free soon enough – I'm really more worried about him doing something reckless to get himself caught before you can than anything. And I'm used to Dumbledore watching me all the time – I have my ways around it. And Hogwarts turning against me?" he scoffed. "Can't say I didn't expect it, after the fiasco of second year."

"Alright," Rita sighed, fears only slightly assuaged for now. "But you let me know if you ever need me to go threaten or blackmail some people, alright?"

Harry smiled slightly. "You are particularly good at those skills," he agreed.

"Give me a hug now, kid," she ordered, going back to her usual self.

Harry sighed. "I'm not a kid, Rita," he said aggravatedly, but smiled fondly and hugged her anyway. Pulling away, she smirked at him and reached up to ruffle his hair.

"Of course not," she agreed with a pacifying smile while his hair flew every direction. He shot her a dark look, reaching up to fix his hair, though it was clear he wasn't too angry.

"Alright, I'm going to pull you out now – make it look like you're stumbling along after me, dazed at what you've just gone through." Rita ordered.

Harry smirked. "You really want it to look like we just got it on in here, don't you?" he complained.

"No," Rita corrected, fighting a smile herself. "I want it to look like you're confused at my rapid-fire questions that have left you confused and lost in old memories."

"I do know how to act, Rita," Harry said, moving so she could go in front of him. "I've been doing it for years now."

"Yes, I know," Rita dismissed, reaching for the door handle. "My little Slytherin in Gryffindor robes…" Harry smiled a bit at the absentminded endearment.

Before leaving, Rita turned slightly and said one last thing – "As soon as I have news about Sirius or Pettigrew, I'll owl you. Use the third cipher this time."

Harry nodded, and then Rita threw open the door, dragging him out with her sharpened nails. He stumbled slightly as they moved past the doorway, and then again as she practically threw him to the rest of them. He rubbed his arm, pretending like he didn't notice the looks he was getting from the others in the room.

"Well, that was quite informative!" Rita trilled happily, looking at the other three Champions. "Now, who's next?"

…

Well, I hope you enjoyed it! I hope it was clear enough without having any sort of needless explanations. In any case – no, I don't plan on writing a whole long fic for this; it's just a oneshot. I would love your feedback on this!

Thanks for reading!