Jared's performance in the season finale inspired this plot bunny. This is basically Sam's thought's during the last part of the episode. Might want tissues handy.
Title: Promise
author: Cindy Ryan
spoilers: 11x23 Alpha and Omega
Long before Sam Winchester knew of ghosts, vampires, monsters and hunters he had one hero. His brother Dean had been and always would be his hero. In the early years Dean had sacrificed a lot practically raising Sam when their Dad was hunting. Most days growing up it'd been the two of them; Sammy and Dean. Dean had taught him the ins and outs of life. Everything he needed to know and somethings he probably shouldn't. Got him through high school and the awkward teen and preteen years. Through first hunts and first dates. Saw him through nights that would stand most people's hairs on end. Dean had always had his back from that day he'd made the promise to his father.
That promise had cost them both more than John Winchester had ever intended. Cold Oak had brought that into crystal clear reality. Sam and Dean were so much a part of each other that dying wasn't an option. If there was a way out; a way to get a little more time they'd find a way. Even if that way was wrong on so many levels. The end result was they were still together; still family; still carrying on the family business. The people they saved somehow justified the back road deals with demons.
This time they'd been out of options. This was the ninth inning stretch; the hail mary with three seconds to go. This was all they had and they both knew it. Still it didn't make the cold reality any easier to swallow. Dean was being the hero he always was. Stepping up to save the world even if he had to make the ultimate sacrifice. Logically Sam knew all of this. He understood this was the price they paid for doing what they did. Still standing in that cemetery watching while his brother said goodbye to Crowley and Cas it slammed home that Sam would most likely be alone. Alone without his hero.
"Come on, you know the drill; no chick flick moments. Come on."
"Yeah you love chick flicks."
They'd said goodbye so many times. Sometimes they hadn't had time to. Now all Sam wanted was more than the few minutes. So much to say and no words would come. They'd been all they had for so many years. Both knew and understood the risks. Knew this day would eventually come. After everything Sam wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to lose his big brother; his family. This had all come down to family. All powerful beings with very human feelings. God hadn't wanted to lose his sister even though it was the only way to save the human race. With the bond between Amara and Dean it'd been the most logical choice to send Dean. The logical and heroic thing to do.
There hadn't even been a flash of light, just a snap of the fingers. Dean said he was ready and then he was just gone. Sam had to blink a few times to make sure it was real; that his brother wasn't standing where he had been a few seconds ago. All Sam saw was the unlikely group that had banded together to save the world. They'd done what they could it was up to Dean now. That didn't make Sam feel any better. Didn't make him feel like he should've done more; come up with another idea. Anything to not make him face the possibility of a future without his hero.
"When this works...Sam...he's going to be a mess. So look out for him, okay? Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."
Dean hadn't thought Sam had heard the request he'd made to Cas. It had brought things home once more that once again Dean was fulfilling that long ago promise. To make sure Sam was alright even when everything was falling down around them. It'd taken all of Sam's will power to hold things together. To be strong for Dean. Sam wasn't sure if he'd be as strong if places were reversed. If this crazy plan worked Sam was certain the phrase' going to be a mess' would be an understatement to end all understatements. Everything about this felt final. So many other times there'd been that possibility; that hope that there was a way out. A way to bring two brothers back together again. Sam didn't see the loop hole this time no matter how badly he wanted to.
Waiting was always the worst part. To Sam being in that bar had been almost claustrophobic; suffocating There was nothing he could do now. Which was why Sam had taken care of Chuck. Not there'd been much he could do for an all powerful being that was suddenly dying. Still it'd made Sam feel useful. It'd let him forget about his own potential grief for a few brief minutes. Then the wait had been over and they'd stepped outside into the bright sunshine. They'd known in that instant that the plan had been successful.
"And Dean?"
Sam barely heard Cas's question but he heard the hope beneath the words. He didn't have the heart to answer him. Instead after a few minutes Sam turned leading the group back to the impala. As he reached the driver's side Sam ran a hand along the car's frame. The car had always been family as much as his Dad and brother had been. Now they were both gone. The metal was solid beneath Sam's touch reminding him that he was still alive. That he had a legacy to fulfill and a promise to keep.
His brother had been a hero today and no one would know. The world would keep turning and life would continue as it did every day. As a hunter Sam knew that was the best reward. To keep things the same to not let the demons and darkness into the every day world. That was what he and Dean had always tried to do. It was the family business after all. Some how Sam had to find a way to hunt alone. He would though Dean had once told him if the business died with him that was okay. Years ago Sam would've jumped at the chance to be free to live a normal life. He knew now this was his normal and that was okay.
"When this works...Sam...he's going to be a mess."
Dean's words echoed through Sam's thoughts as they returned to the bunker. Sam was no stranger to grief but knew his brother was right when it hit when he let himself feel it was going to hurt like nothing else. All their lives Dean had always looked out for him. He was hero, brother, best friend all wrapped into one amazing person. Sam made a silent promise to his brother that he would continue saving people and hunting things that lurk in the shadows. It was the least he could do to honor the sacrifice his brother had made today.
end