PROLOGUE
1916
The letter shook in her hand as the words printed on the paper began to blur from the tears that filled her eyes. Her mind tried to digest the words forming sentences that delivered the news that changed her life forever, breaking her heart into a thousand pieces. There were words that stuck out more than others and burned her mind every time she closed her eyes to blink, which allowed the tears to form a track down her cheeks. The guttural sobs that racked her body and tightened her chest failed to stop as all the air within her lungs felt as though it was being squeezed out with every breath she took.
She tried to wrap her head around the news, but she felt as though reality was seeping away from her.
Tommy always seemed to be the only one who could help her when she got this way, but now he was gone.
Part of her understood that this was an outcome of war but there was no way of truly preparing for something as devastating as this. Tommy had often brought up the subject in conversation, but it had always been too painful to talk openly about it or even think about. She just couldn't imagine a life without Tommy around; and the fear within her heart prevented her from believing that it could happen. She always believed he would come back and they would be able to move on with their lives and start a new life together far away from Small Heath where marriage and children were a part of their future.
But the plans they had made would remain just that: plans that would never be accomplished.
Tommy was dead.
And he wasn't coming back.
And that was when it hit her like a freight train and all the pain and heartbreak, the fear and the sadness, overwhelmed her. She was heartbroken, and she sobbed on the floor, letter clung tightly in her hand, until no more tears could fall.
She knew she couldn't stay here any longer.
Life without Tommy would be unbearable and to live surrounded by other people also mourning his loss would be too painful for her to handle. She had loved him with all her heart, and there was nothing keeping her here anymore. She wanted to stay, to be with those who had been family for so long, but fight or flight was kicking in and she needed to leave.
The streets of Birmingham held too many memories that were now an excruciating reminder of the man who she had lost to the war. It was bittersweet to have lived such a life with Tommy, and for him to be taken from her before the next chapter of their life could begin. That everything they had shared on the day of his deployment had been their last; their final hold had been too short, their final kiss had been over too soon, their final conversation became muffled until it fell into silence.
Tommy had filled her life with so much. He had taken her away from her old, cruel life and given her hope. Tommy had given her so much light, and now her world was plunged into darkness, all light and colour draining away with the tears she shed.
Tommy's return had been etched into her mind for some time now, and she had planned to hold him closely, feeling his heartbeat against her chest and feel his warm breath on her neck. She had understood that war would most likely change him, and she was prepared for his return in whatever state he returned in. She loved him with everything she had.
Except, in a cruel twist of fate, life had been punishing and had taken him away from her.
She thought back to the memories they had shared and felt her heart ache. She remembered walking hand in hand with him in the middle of the night knowing that his presence was all she needed to feel safe; dancing under the moon in nothing but her night dress; having her first kiss with Tommy on her doorstep; making love by candlelight and experiencing all of him; meeting his eye in a full room and seeing a smirk tug at his mouth and feeling the love radiate throughout her body for him.
All of that was part of her past now.
She sat at the desk and scrawled ink against paper, putting everything she felt down onto the page as tears mixed with the black ink making it run slightly. She hoped that Polly would understand her reasons for leaving, for she knew just how much Tommy's death would affect her. Her world was falling apart. And so, she packed everything that she owned into the small suitcase and slipped the letter under Polly's door hoping it would find her with good intentions.
And with a broken heart, she left the black smoke of Birmingham in her past and closed that chapter in her life.