Three Years after the Nathan James' Arrival in St. Louis

Andrea Garnett stood gazing out at the slowly moving water of the Mississippi River. When President Michener had chosen St. Louis as the new capital of the United States and home base for the Nathan James, Andrea had declined his offer of a recently renovated house downtown where Captain Chandler and Commander Slattery had settled. Instead she had chosen this bungalow, which sat on a buff overlooking the water. But it was the secluded location, rather than the view of the passing boats, that had been the selling point for this particular house.

A place where she could be alone with her thoughts.

A place where nobody would care if her vision was obscured by tears.

A place where she didn't run into families, into children, every time she turned around.

A place where everything around her didn't make her think of Lily.

Andrea's lip curled into a wry smile. While her intent when choosing this house might have been to isolate herself, it hadn't worked out quite as planned. Within weeks of moving in, Tex had approached Andrea with a problem of his own. As the recently selected head of the President's security detail, Tex was expected to escort President Michener around the country, as he meet with local officials and began the process of rebuilding. But that meant being away from Kat for days at a time, and Tex was unwilling to leave the teenager alone overnight after what had happened to Claire. Given Doctor Scott's recent shooting and the length of her anticipated recovery, the Chandler home hadn't been an option, and Kara had her hands full preparing for a newborn. With the Nathan James in dry dock for at least four months for repairs, Andrea had been the next logical choice.

So Kat had taken up residence at the bungalow and as the weeks and then months had passed, without any conscious decision, what had begun as a short-term arrangement had become permanent, with Kat firmly entrenched into Andrea's second bedroom and Tex sleeping on the couch more often than not (despite having his own apartment downtown). And it had worked. Neither one of her new roommates said anything if Andrea spent an entire day silently staring at the water, just like Andrea and Kat never commented on Tex's somewhat disgusting habit of smoking cigars on the deck when he couldn't sleep, and both Tex and Andrea pretended not to know about the journal that Kat wrote in every night and then hid under her mattress. Without discussing it, they had given each other the space they needed to grieve and, as the days rolled by, Andrea had actually found herself looking forward to quitting time, to going home, to sitting down to dinner with Kat and Tex, to hearing about their days. By the time the Nathan James shipped out, following months of repair in dry dock, it had seemed silly for Tex and Kat to relocate because Andrea was deploying.

So they had stayed, and three years had flown by. And while Andrea never deluded herself into thinking that she could replace Claire in Kat's life, she had soon become more than a little attached to the teen – taking her shopping and helping her with her homework and proudly watching when Kat graduated as the valedictorian of St. Louis High, with a full scholarship to the newly reopened Harvard University.

But now everything was changing.

Andrea sucked in a deep breath, releasing it slowly, her hands clenching the deck railing. When the possibility had first occurred to her, she had dismissed it as a flight of fancy. She was forty-three after all, and Lily's conception had been the result of years of effort. But somehow, despite the unlikeliness and her age and the unsettled nature of the world around her, the impossible had happened.

She was pregnant.

And her first reaction had been pure terror.

How could she bring a second child into this world after so completely failed her first? How could she possibly go through the emotional highs and lows of raising a child knowing, as she did so very clearly now, all of the risks involved? How could she start over when she was still grieving all that she had lost?

And yet, behind the terror there had been a tiny seed of hope, of joy, of belief that this time it would be different. The months had passed, and that hope had cautiously grown until Andrea finally began to believe that she might be given another chance. Another chance to be a mother. Another chance to cradle a baby to her breast. Another chance to tuck a toddler into bed with a silly song. Another chance to teach a six-year old to ride a bike. Another chance to drop a ten-year old off at a first sleepover.

And maybe a first chance to watch a child grow to adulthood, to find a partner, to have children of her own.

It was that pearl of hope that Andrea clung to on days like today. Days when the past overwhelmed her. When she woke up almost believing that the last three years were a terrible nightmare, when she could almost hear Bill snoring and Lily starting to stir just down the hall.

Tears trickled down Andrea's face as she placed a hand her bulging stomach, taking comfort in the child's movement, confirmation her that this child had not been snatched away from her as Lily had been.

A soft footstep alerted Andrea to his presence, and she smiled despite her tears, knowing that he had done it deliberately so as not to startle her, perfectly capable of moving silently when he chose. Turning, she took the steaming cup of herbal tea that he passed her, his eyes full of concern – and understanding.

"You doing okay?"

"Just thinking." Andrea took a sip of her tea. "Are you really ready to do this again?"

The corner of Tex's eyes crinkled as he took a gulp of his coffee. "Never been readier."