Why am I here?...
Why haven't I left?...
Why don't I fight back as much as I can?...
Why do I allow such ludicrousness to plague my daily life?...
Why am I still sane?
So many 'why's that I have lost count.
Yet...I'm still here.
Why?
~Page Break~
"Get the damn manuscript!"
"It's still not here yet!"
"Then call the fucking author!"
"I've tried, she won't pick up!"
"Oh no...I'm seeing double now...heheh..."
"Look at that Hatori has fainted~"
It's the same thing at thing at the end of each cycle. Takano is more of an ass than usual, Kisa begins to freak out from stress, Hatori becomes a zombie and faints aimlessly, Mino just smiles seemingly unfazed by the chaos. And me? Naturally, I'm getting tortured by our demon chief along the sappy authors who can't seem to get off their asses to save their lives. Working here may be a fascinating idea to some, but it can really become a broken record after awhile. A hellish one at that. I don't know how to put it into words...I'm not particularly bored...just...tired? Yes, I suppose you could say that. To clarify, it's not the normal kind of tired (though this job could possibly send to an early grave) it's more of an "I've had enough" tired.
Scratch that, I've had more than enough. This job, while it gets me by, I've grown a large resentment for it. Don't get me wrong I've made a friend in Kisa and I do hold respect for my co-workers(most of them anyway) but even so...I doubt that respect is mutual. After all, they never take me seriously when I try to straighten things out or reprimand them about procrastinating on their work. Not to mention my "boss", yes I air quoted that. While he is in charge and good at what he does, when it comes to me the word "professional" doesn't seem to be in his vocabulary. Sure when others are around he treats me like any other employee.(if that's what torture translates to then yeah) But when we're alone, no matter if it's public or my (key word: MY) apartment he'll make a pass at me regardless of any protest. I seriously want to quit this job and go back to literature.
Yes, I realize I sound like just as much as a broken record as the others. But you know what? I don't care. I'm just so...tired. I honestly don't know why I put up with all of this when I could just leave! I'm an adult, it's not like they can force me into staying like I'm a teenager who doesn't want to return to school. Sigh, I think it has to do with my pride. If I quit, it'll just prove them right that I can't handle things on my own. But when things like him keep popping up I can't help but think, Screw my pride! This isn't worth it!, yet I still allow it to happen. Then maybe my pride isn't the only problem. I've always been told that I'm too kind for my own good, and after all this...I can no longer deny it. Comical, right? If you know me you know just how stubborn I am.
Well, the work day has ended. Time to go home, oh joy can't wait. Hm? Why aren't I happy about this after that whole rant of hating my job? Give it some time.
3...
"Oi, Onodera!"
2...
"What is it, Takano-san?", I sigh. He grabs my arm and stops me from running.
"You still haven't confessed your love yet. I want answers."
Aaaaaand 1!
Seriously, it's sad that I can actually time this now. And if you guessed the outcome before the countdown...Congrats! I'll mail the trophy to you as soon as possible! Now, back to the current situation. I've been trying to protest for at least twenty minutes now. But this bastard of a man isn't having it. "I don't care what you say.", Obviously!,"I'm not letting you get away ever again."
I narrow my eyes,"Yes, Takano. You've made that more than clear to me, endlessly!", I snarl at him,"But need I once again remind you, I am no ones property! And I am sure as hell not yours!", I force my arm out of his grasp and walk to my door,"Now if you'll excuse me, I am tired and wish to be left alone." My words are proven futile yet again as my keys are dropped before I could unlock anything and I'm dragged into the taller man's apartment. Damn it, why can't he leave me alone?! I never asked for this!
I struggle as he forces me onto his bed and pins me,"It's useless, Onodera. I'm not letting go.", a hostile growl left my lips and I attempt to swing at him but am stopped by a kiss. I let out a sound of anger and kick my legs aimlessly. He lets go only to start unbuttoning my shirt. "Let go, damn it!" He of course doesn't listen and before I can protest again I feel a sharp pain on my head and everything goes black.
I wake up the next morning not surprised to be completely bare and next to my assaulter. A sigh left me as I looked into my lap, I allowed it to happen again. If I really wanted to I could bash this asshole's head in, so why don't I?! Why am I so weak?! But then...this is just another roll of the broken record. This is just a normality now. Why do I even think about it anymore?
Those thoughts aside, I gather my clothes and dress myself. I make sure to get everything this time so not to come back and exit the apartment for my own, glad to see my keys exactly where I left them. I pick them up and enter my bed room. I lay down only to be interrupted by a ring. Augh, now? Really?
"Hello?", I pull it away from my ear so not to go deaf.
"RITSU! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE AN-CHAN TO WALK HOME ALONE!"
Lovely, Mother. "Nice to hear from you too, Mom."
"Don't pick that tone with me, young man! You shouldn't treat your fiancee with such disrespect!"
I squeeze the brim of my nose. It is too damn early for this bullshit,"Mother, I don't know how many times I need to repeat myself. I have no intention of marrying her.", I stop her mid way before any other obvious retort, "Nor do I want to succeed the company. So if you have nothing to say that doesn't involve that then I don't want to speak to you."
"Wait a minute! Is this the thanks I get for raising you?! I would think I taught you better than that!"
I let out a bitter snicker, "raised me" she says. Honestly, the funniest joke I've heard in awhile. There was someone who raised me a hell of a lot better than her and trust me when I say it wasn't my father! I hear mother sigh lightly.
"I don't get what's so funny. To think I birthed such a illegitimate and ungrateful son. Well, I'll speak with you later to discuss this again. Bye."
The line went dead and I sat there in silence. I think over the last words Mother spoke to me before she hung up. I am...so tired. I can't take this much longer but I at the same time...I'm so used to it that I end up brushing it off each time it happens. Why am I here? Why haven't I left?
~Page Break~
"Alright! Nothing like a drink at noon!", Kisa exclaimed happily
"Hold on, we still have work to do. We should at least finish first!", I protest
"You hear something, Mino?", Kisa asked
"No, just your imagination again man."
Why do I even bother anymore? They won't listen. I'll just tire myself out more.
"And Onodera...", Takano spoke up
I lift my head only to see a threatening amber eyes burning into me, "Don't forget about tonight...or about what I told you." Everyone else laughed, taking it as friendly banter but any smart person would know that wasn't what he meant it as. Things like this always has me thinking the same question.
Why am I still sane?
And that's the first chapter. If you guys have any suggestions to make this story better I'd be happy to hear them in the reviews!~ :3 Ja ne for now!~