Idiots in Love

by

potato_chanxx

CHAPTER 1

"Kick that idiot in the balls for me."

The silver-haired man can only sigh at the eye-brow raising request from the razor-sharptongued woman as she watched his retreating form head to the Kabuki District. He was supposed to meet his long-time friend, Sakamoto Tatsuma, just outside the office building after work only to be informed by said woman that he had skipped out on his work an hour prior. For the nth time, the air head might have headed out drinking on his own and had completely forgotten their previous agreement. Scratching the back of his own naturally permed head, Sakata Gintoki sighed once more dragging his boots clad feet over to the red-light district.

"Good evening, sir. May I interest you with the finest girls of Snack Smile for your company tonight?"

"Ahh. My friend's already inside. Said he's already booked a couple of hot babes with him. That guy with an annoying laugh. You know – perm-head, sunglasses…ring any bell?"

"Oh, yes! Sakamoto-san! This way then."

Sakata Gintoki was lead inside, greeted by a full house which he attributed to the end of work week. Obviously, all these men wanted was to relax and forget about the daily grind by drinking their hearts out with a couple of chicks that would listen to all their whining. It's a quite a folly men fall into, including old him (He's engaged now, and would seriously think twice about visiting a hostess club. Wouldn't want his manhood pulverized now, won't he?) and the moron currently laughing his heart out in front of him.

"Ahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Let me ask you again, Oryou-chan. Will you marry me?", His over enthusiastic friend proposed to the obviously uncomfortable hostess beside him who promptly turned him down with a 'No, thank you' even with the elegant ring inside a velvety box he had in hand.

Hauling Sakamoto's ass back was starting to get annoying, especially since he had been on this act for almost a month already. Sakamoto would "forget" that they would have to meet at the Kaientai, only for the other to find him in one of their frequented spots in Kabuki district drowning his heart out in liquor.

But today, the fool chose to be at Snack Smile, the last place Gintoki would like to visit; he undoubtedly is not in the mood to fool around. Hastily, the silver perm-head grabbed the head of equally permed, brown hair and started dragging the bumbling idiot through tables of curious and shocked patrons towards the exit. (But not before tossing a wad of bills from Sakamoto's wallet to the table)

"Ow-ow-ow! What the hell are you doing?!" screamed the obviously disoriented Sakamoto. His pleas have been ignored and instead was thrown face-first into the pavement outside the club. Those sunglasses that covered his eyes most of the time(even during night time, like, what the fuck?!) have fallen off from the act, but it did not dwell so much on one's thought when the collar of the brunette's shirt was impetuously grabbed to focus on his friend's seething mug.

"Goddammit! I've had had enough of this hauling your drunk ass back home. Something's up. Now, spill!" Gintoki was fuming. His hands never loosened its grip on the other man's collar as he shook it violently to wake the man up from his stupor. "Aren't you gonna say something? You've been at it for weeks! What? Now, of all times, you choose to shut your stupid mouth up huh, asshole?" There was still no response from him who now chose to hang his head low and continued acting like the floor was far more interesting than the man in front of him. Showing no sign of hearing his provocation, the silver perm-head removed his hands and walked away, shaking his head. Why did he even bother with someone who does not even want to be saved? But just when he was about to turn his back and walk away, the shaggy brunette lifted his head and dejectedly uttered, "Let's talk somewhere else."

Sake filled their cups as they drank in silence in a quaint, little bar a couple of blocks away from the Kaientai office building.

Even though Sakamoto's bottle is almost empty, he still has not spoken up. On the other hand, Gintoki has been pacing himself considering that he'll have to take his companion home afterwards. Oh, they will still get real smashed tonight alright. On his last drop of sake, the brunette cleared his throat and started with a slightly slurred, "Ummmm…how do I start this?" A hand reached for the jacket pocket to take out the same velvety box earlier in the hostess club. "This is actually for Mutsu."

The silver-haired man could only look at Sakamoto Tatsuma with those dead fish eyes of his, albeit with an eyebrow raised in curiosity. After all, this was all expectedly unexpected.

Dragging an inebriated man home is the worst thing there is. No, scratch that. Dragging a man who's out cold from drunkenness is far worst. After hurling all the contents of his stomach at the previous block, Sakamoto lost consciousness, leaving his friend to drag him for another two blocks to his office. The silver perm did not hesitate to ring the doorbell after spotting faint light coming from inside the office.

Mutsu opened up and thoughtlessly moved away from the door frame after witnessing their sorry state; Sakamoto, her boss, limply hanging on Gintoki's right shoulder, subsequently drooling saliva and is that vomit? Meanwhile, the latter looked worse for wear from probably supporting another human from Kabuki district to the office granting he's also had a few drinks.

Her boss was unceremoniously plopped face first into the office sofa in the middle of the room while she closed the door behind her. His companion could use a refreshment she thought and made a beeline to the pantry by the far side of the room.

Her exit had been used by the silver perm head as an opportunity to slip out of the office quietly which literally left Mutsu with a glass in her hand and Tatsuma figuratively on the other. She still has to deal with the perm-head lying on the couch. Speaking of which, said person is currently rousing from his coma.

Setting the glass down on the coffee table adjacent to the sofa, she made her exit to the powder room and came out with a cold rag in her hands and a plastic bag in case somebody decides to empty the contents of his stomach again. Sighing, she sat beside the sluggish brunette now bemoaning his discomfort and proceeded to place the rug on his forehead.

Sakamoto jolted back a little, unaware of Mutsu's presence previously, but had little willpower of rejecting the comfort offered by the coldness on his forehead. Murmuring a silent thank you, he let her ministrations continue. The brunette perm head could not help but gawk at the woman taking care of him. Could not help but fancy how he could get used to this tenderness from her; him getting sick, her tending to him. Such was just wishful thinking. He can watch her all he want now; those amber brown eyes focusing intently on her work, one hand absent-mindedly tucking those light brown locks behind an ear, those rosy pink lips mouthing words he cannot comprehend, that same small feminine hand now appearing in his line of vision- "Oi, Sakamoto, you alright?" She's frowning now, brows knitted in concern.

Her words jolted him back to reality. Scratching the back of his head after realizing he had zoned out for too long, lost in thought due to the female tending to him. Shaking his head at his own blunder, the man told her to not worry. He is fine. Maybe, had a little too much to drink and he needed to retire for the night. He suggested, she too should do the same.

Mutsu hesitated for a split second but nodded in return. With that, she got up, collected her belongings, locked up and called it a night; but not before reminding him to take the medicine placed atop the coffee table, to lay down and rest, and to call her on the phone if any chance he feels worse. After all, she has her apartment on the uppermost floor of the 5-story Kaientai building right next to his boss'.

After he was sure Mutsu had already ascended to her quarters, Tatsuma laid down once more and let the sorrow wash all over. Azure orbs stared at the ceiling, wondering how in despair would he be able to sleep like a baby. Would counting ways of him being insufficient and hopeless like sheep help this poor man slumber? So that he did. Once Hypnos placed his spell to claim him, he let it win without resolve, all the while longing for his subordinate's reserved solicitude.

Author's Notes:

Hi there! Let me just tell you a little story how I wound up writing this fic. :)

So, I'll start with how I would usually read fanfictions as my bedtime story. Subsequently, as a Gintama fan and SakaMutsu shipper, I search for ff with them as the main pairing. Ah, alas! I could only scour a couple here( ), on AO3, and on Tumblr. Okay, so maybe I am not aware of other fanfic sites(Yeah, how sad) Mentioned this lack of SakaMutsu love in my life to a friend who suggested I write one. That I did and here we are now.

I would spend some of my nights typing this fic, and it probably took me about a month in doing so. It has never been beta-d so forgive me for my grammatical mistakes and redundancy(?). I just can't seem to find the courage to let an acquaintance check my work and be criticized; I would rather have you guys tell me in front of my anonymous potato face haha!

Do leave a comment whether it be love and constructive criticisms, but never hate(pls. no. huhu)

Till next time!(I hope I get the motivation to write the next chapter so help me gawd. lol)