(1)

When he first saw him, he was in a panda suit. The head was round and white with black patches on both ears and eyes. The costume was bulky and cumbersome. The boy underneath the suit held a bunch of helium-filled balloons. Emil couldn't tell if he was smiling beneath the mask.

The ground was jagged. The wheels screeched. He glanced up at the crowded playground, the queues stretching long outside each ride and children flaunting their game prizes.

He had tried to decline the invitation. He didn't like loud places. Lukas had insisted that it was about time he stopped playing video games and left his bedroom. Mathias had bought five tickets for the fair right away.

"I want to go home." Emil grunted. "It's so hot out here." He kept fanning himself with his hands.

"Don't say that." Lukas bent down and handed him a bottle of juice. "It's a beautiful day. Everyone is having fun."

"Everyone except me," Emil grumbled and stared at his lap. He grabbed the juice and took a big swig of the cold liquid. Mathias pushed the wheelchair ahead and stopped at one of the tables.

"I think I'm gonna get a heat stroke," Emil croaked again and shifted uncomfortably in his wheelchair. "Just take me home already. This is killing me."

"Like hell I'm going to let you lock yourself in your room all day." Lukas snorted and sat down on the bench.

"Where are Tino and Berwald anyway?"

"They've gone off to ride on the Ferris Wheel, I think," Lukas said.

"Yo guys, wanna grab something to eat?" Mathias pointed to the snack shop not far ahead. "I think I'll have a hot dog. Lukas?"

"A sundae would be nice," Lukas said and turned to Emil. "Would you like something cold and sweet?"

"No." Emil shook his head. "I'm fine."

Lukas shrugged and stood up, "I'm going to the toilet."

"I'll see what else we can buy then."

Mathias winked and strode towards the store.

Emil sighed and scanned around. He tried his best to ignore people's occasional stares and whispers. He loathed this place. He didn't fit in at all. What was he even doing in a theme park?

He grabbed the wheels and turned the chair around. He drove away from the bench and eventually stopped near a funhouse. Children's laughter filled the air. Adults clasped their hands and led them into the journey of wonder.

He saw the panda boy again. He was giving out balloons to the kids. Red. Yellow. Orange. Purple. Blue. Rainbow.

Children giggled and chased after one another. A boy stumbled and fell to the ground in front of him. Emil frowned. His hands trembled for a second. The boy started crying. A bruise appeared on his knee. Emil tried to reach out but found it impossible. He rolled off the wheelchair and collapsed to the ground.

Balloons floated in the air and ascended to the sky. A pair of arms grasped the boy and helped him up. The panda boy patted the kid's head and handed him a lollipop. The boy ceased crying and smiled.

The same strong arms reached out for Emil. He dodged futilely. The grip was firm. He settled back down in his chair.

"Are you alright?" The voice was muffled by the suit but sounded worried indeed.

Emil growled and turned his wheelchair away from the boy.

"Hey, wait up."

"Leave me alone," Emil snarled.

"Are you really alright?"

"Yes, I am!" Emil yelped.

"Where are you going? Do you want some help?"

"I AM FINE! JUST GO AWAY!"

Either he was a stubborn panda or he didn't hear him, the boy decided to tag along.

"Do you want a lollipop?"

Emil halted and glared up.

"You came with someone, didn't you? Where are your companions?"

"It's none of your business," Emil snapped.

"I can help you find them."

"Aren't you supposed to be doing some other stuff?" Emil scowled. "Like giving balloons to kids and all."

The panda shrugged and held out his bare hands.

"The balloons are gone. I lost them."

Emil rolled his eyes and leaned back against his seat.

"What's your name?"

"Huh?"

"Your name." The panda giggled.

"Why should I tell you?"

"I have two names."

"And what does it matter to me, may I ask?" Emil quipped, raising one of his eyebrows. He wondered if he could complain to someone about this annoying staff member.

"I'm Xiang the Panda." The panda chuckled, waving his hands in the air. "You look so grumpy. I want to make you smile."

"Are you an idiot?"

"No, I'm a panda," the panda continued, "and I make people happy. That's my job. You're looking miserable so I must know why."

"You're insane!" Emil concluded and started turning his wheels again.

"Do you know that pandas are the most adorable mammals on earth?" The boy followed him. Emil wanted to scream.

"They are endangered species from China. They eat and sleep a lot."

"Please, just shut up, would you?" Emil covered his ears and cried. "You're so annoying."

"Um…okay, I'll leave," the panda said. "But I'll still give you this lollipop. It's sweet. People like sweet things, right?"

The boy cackled and tossed Emil a strawberry-flavoured lollipop.

Emil stared at the candy. The boy waved and drifted away. Lukas and Mathias came back in sight.

"Jesus, where the hell did you wander off to?" Lukas growled.

"Man, one moment I was paying for the food at the cashier and the next I turned and you were gone! You nearly gave me a heart attack back there! I thought someone's kidnapped you!" Mathias exclaimed, still munching on his hot dog.

"I'm not a child anymore! Stop making a fuss."

"But you should at least tell us before you wander off alone." Lukas folded his arms.

"Fine, fine."

"What's that?" Mathias asked curiously.

"Ugh, this, some idiot forced me to take it." Emil held up the lollipop and mumbled. "What a jerk."

(2)

The second time he saw him, he was in the park juggling balls and blowing balloons. Kids surrounded him and clapped.

Emil stopped in one corner and stared. The sky was cloudless that day. It was scotching hot.

"Who the hell will wear a costume on a burning day like this?" Emil had never been able to stand the heat. He loved winter. Summer means warmth and nice weather. People go out on fine days. They chat. They play. They hike. They do all sorts of impressive stuff whereas he could only curl up in his own air-conditioned room.

"Yo! It's you again." the panda walked towards him with a wave. He rummaged in his pocket and took out a balloon. Azure. Like the sky. With a silly face printed on it. He blew it and twisted it several times. He handed Emil the rabbit-shaped balloon.

Emil frowned before taking it. Their eyes met. He could speculate the colour of those orbs beneath the suit. They must be some kind of brown. Stunning.

Parents came around and shouted for lunch. The kids sniggered and sprinted off. The sun hovered above them. The air was filled with the scent of summer leaves, blossoming orchids and…

What a peculiar fragrance, Emil thought.

"Emil."

The panda tilted his head.

"That's my name," Emil clarified and blushed.

"That's a nice one."

The panda flopped down on the bench next to him.

"Wanna know my other name?" the boy giggled. He took off the panda head. Emil couldn't resist the temptation to stare. The boy had choppy dark hair. As expected, his eyes were a mixture of chocolate brown and amber. His eyelashes were exceptionally long, accompanied by two slightly bushy eyebrows. The lips were pink. Some bangs adhered to his face because of the sweat.

"It's called Leon." The boy went ahead and introduced himself.

"Where are you from?" Emil asked, still unable to take his eyes off this person. He looked familiar for some odd reasons.

He snapped his fingers and exclaimed, "Oh I know! I've seen you on the campus before!"

"Really." Leon raised his eyebrows.

"College W." Emil nodded. "Always wearing a black backpack and carrying some books. I think I saw you in the lecture room once or twice."

"And you remember me." Leon sounded amused. He kicked the ground and looked up at the sky. "It sure is hot today."

"You live around?"

"Yup, my dad has a café down the street." Leon glanced down at Emil. "He can't cook. But his tea is good."

"Why do I always see you everywhere? Is this your job?" Emil asked, "Role-playing and giving balloons to kids."

"You can say that." Leon shrugged. "But more like it's for fun."

Emil widened his eyes. The boy had an awfully pale face. It looked nearly translucent in the sun. He was also quite scrawny. The costume hung loosely on his body.

"I can't answer your question though."

"What?" Emil frowned.

"Where I come from." Leon rubbed his chins contemplatively. "You can say Hong Kong, I guess? Used to live there until I was seven. Then our family moved back to England because Dad thinks the environment here is better and schools are less pressuring. Mum is a Chinese. Dad's a British. That always confuses me. Where do I come from?"

"You come from both then." Emil laughed.

"You're funny." Leon giggled. "You seem to be in a better mood than I last saw you."

"I hate theme parks. I hate parks, generally. But I couldn't help stopping by when I saw you. Wonder what kind of an idiot is hiding underneath that weird costume."

"Hey! Pandas are cute, okay?"

"Not as cute as puffins."

"I've never seen a puffin before." Leon blinked.

"It's pretty. I'll show you."

(3)

Leon opened the door. The bell chimed. Comforting cool air brushed their faces.

"I told you this is not the way you do it, moron!" a husky woman's voice yelled.

"Love, I have my own recipes with tea. I don't need you to teach me how to brew the best Earl Grey!" a male voice bawled back.

"And what about those disgusting, poisonous-looking scones! You're driving our customers away! Not that there are many to begin with!"

"Excuse me, my scones are fine. They just don't realise what kind of a cuisine they are missing!"

"I told you before we should change the menu. Even better, turn this into a traditional Chinese tea house! I'm sure they all want to taste my cuisine more than your charcoal!"

"No! It doesn't blend with the atmosphere at all! This is a Western café. Mind it, dear!"

The couple continued bickering at the counter. The café was empty except for the old lady sitting in one corner drinking a cup of cappuccino. She was either oblivious to the quarrel or simply, deaf.

"Sorry you have to see that." Leon rolled his eyes and pushed Emil's wheelchair to a table. The boy proceeded to the counter and tapped the desk twice.

"Dad! Mum! Would you please stop arguing?"

The couple gasped and spun around. "Leon?"

"The day's already hot like hell. Hearing you bicker makes it worse. I think I'm gonna be sick."

The woman rushed out of the counter first and hugged her boy. "Oh, are you alright, Leon? Should we send you to the hospital?"

"Is something wrong, champ? Let me drive you to the clinic!" the man offered immediately.

"I'm fine!" Leon grunted. "I'm just saying that you two should stop arguing because it's giving me a headache! And I have got a friend here. Stop embarrassing me more than you already are."

The couple peeked past Leon simultaneously. Emil blushed immensely and kept his head low.

"That's your buddy?" the man asked. Emil caught a glimpse of him. He, too, had two eerily bushy eyebrows, but thicker than Leon's. He was a head taller than his son. He had a head of tousled blond hair. He was wearing a white shirt and a green apron.

"He wants a cup of ice tea. I'll go for peach tea, okay?"

"Yes, yes, right away!" the woman beamed and ran back into the counter. She had a petite physique, but her voice was loud and clear. She was dressed in an outfit Emil had never seen before. Probably a Chinese styled clothing. The tight dress displayed her voluptuous curves. She tied her long black hair into two buns, clipped by peony flowers. She looked like she could be in her early 20s but then again Asians' age could be deceiving.

Leon sighed as he sat down opposite Emil.

"Your parents run the café together?" Emil whispered, leaning forward a bit. Leon fiddled with the sugar packets and nodded.

"Like I said, my dad can't cook," Leon whispered back. "If he runs the café alone, I think it'll close down in no time."

"I see." Emil nodded. "and what about your mum? She looks so young."

"Don't trust her looks." Leon laughed. "She's actually an old hag. Even older than Dad."

"Ahem." The woman stood in front of the table and coughed. "I can hear you clearly aru."

Emil blanched.

"I'm just telling the truth. You teach me not to tell lies to a friend, right?" Leon giggled. The woman snorted and placed the two cups on the table. "It's a relief that you actually have friends. Your dad and I are starting to think if we ought to send you to one of those church gatherings to widen your social circle."

"Mum!"

"Okay, okay, I won't interrupt you anymore." The woman smiled at Emil. "Take your time aru. Enjoy the drink. I'll bring some more snacks later."

"Thank you, ma'dam." Emil smiled back.

"Just call me Yan." The woman tittered and pointed to her husband. "And that moron over there is called Arthur."

"Hey, stop calling me that!" the blond pouted.

"Make me." Yan stuck out her tongue as she ran back into the kitchen.

"Are they always like this?" Emil gasped.

"All the time." Leon rolled his eyes and took a sip of his peach tea.

"They sound nice to me." Emil nodded and stirred his drink. "I don't live with my parents."

"Where are they?" Leon propped his chin in his palms.

"Um…probably in Norway at the moment. My brother and I migrated here to study. I was born in Iceland though."

"Uh, uh, interesting." Leon nodded.

"You don't have many friends?"

"No." Leon shook his head. "I think I like animals better. And also children."

"Yea, I can tell." Emil chuckled.

"What were you doing in the theme park by the way? If you didn't want to be there."

"Oh, that-" Emil sighed and looked out of the window. "Lukas and Mathias forced me to go there. They didn't want me to stay at home all day."

"That's your brother?"

"Lukas is my brother. Mathias is his boyfriend."

"Got it." Leon nodded. "And you don't like to be outside."

"No, and I think you know why." Emil glimpsed his paralysed legs.

"I like fresh air though." Leon grinned. "My situation is somewhat the opposite. Dad and Mum want me to stay home more."

"Why?"

"Because," Leon paused. Yan re-appeared with a plate of dim sum.

"Try some of these, boy. I bet you seldom get to taste something this delicious."

"Oh my dear! I told you not to make Chinese food in my café! People will think it's weird." Arthur whined and shook his head. "This is a-"

"I know it's a British café! I don't see why it can't be a British-Chinese café though. And I don't know how to make your scones. They taste awful anyway." Yan grumbled and crossed her arms.

"They taste brilliant!"

"Says the one who set the kitchen on fire last week!"

"It was an accident!"

"Dad! Mum!" Leon yelped. The couple hushed and looked away from each other.

"You aren't getting any dinner aru." Yan snorted as she strolled back to the counter.

"Hey! I didn't do anything!" Arthur protested.

"Because you just insulted my Chinese food!"

"And you insult my scones all the time, love!"

"You know." Leon sighed and shook his head in dismay. "We can hang out in a different place…"

"No, it's fine." Emil giggled. "They act like kids. I wonder why you still want to interact with kids when you have two at home."

Leon laughed.

"I love their smiles and energy," Leon admitted. "There's nothing to worry about. So carefree."

"Leon dear! It's almost time to take your medicine!" Yan shouted from the counter.

"You don't have to remind me, Mum!" Leon yelled back and gave a frustrated groan. He took out tiny plastic bottles and opened the caps. He gathered the colourful pills on his left palm and swallowed them all in one go.

"The reason why they want to keep me home is because I have a weak heart." Leon tapped his chest and smiled. "I can't do something too physical or demanding."

Emil blinked at the grinning boy.

"How could you look so happy describing something so sad?" The words slipped out of Emil's lips.

"Because I can still do a lot of amazing stuff," Leon said. "I nearly died when I was a baby, but I survived. Isn't it already the greatest miracle God has given me?"

Emil didn't say anything. He finished his drink.

"This is fried wan ton. Something like dumplings. Mum likes to put shrimps inside. I love shrimps." Leon pointed to the dishes on the desk. "And these are steamed pork chop buns. My favourites. Then there are spring rolls. Very crunchy and delectable. Want to try some fried noodles with soy sauce? They're marvellous!"

Emil ended up with a bulge on his stomach. It had been a while since he last ate so much. Leon kept encouraging him to try more. In the end, he gobbled up half plates of everything. Yan was grinning from ear to ear when she found her dishes emptied.

"Told you my food will get popular here!" she pouted at her husband.

"We'll see each other again?" Leon smiled as he ushered Emil down the street. It was already dark outside. They had chatted for hours.

"Sure, maybe we'll bump into each other on the campus next week." Emil smiled back.

He returned home with a ting of warmth in his chest that night.

(4)

"Psst!" Mathias hissed and dragged Lukas towards the window. "Look dude, who's that?"

"No idea, he won't tell." Lukas shrugged and stared at the raven-haired youngster in their front yard. Emil was already on the porch. The boy stepped forward and helped push his wheelchair.

"No way! Is it a friend? Is our Emil finally getting a friend?" Mathias whooped mirthfully. Lukas smacked him upside the head.

"Tino, you know something?" Lukas turned around. The Finnish boy was finishing the last bite of his toast. He exchanged a glance with Berwald and shrugged.

"Aw come on, I know you do know something!" Mathias pouted and scampered towards Tino. He wrapped his arm around him deliberately to earn a glare from Berwald.

"He's an Asian."

Tino licked the jam off his lips and took a sip of his milk. The others all grabbed chairs and sat around the table eagerly.

"And, he's a boy."

"Oh please, we all know the obvious! Can you provide some more details?" Mathias whined.

"I'm just reciting what Emil's told me." Tino giggled. "Oh and, his father owns a café a couple of blocks away."

"A café?"

"The boy's half-British, half-Chinese."

"I think I know who his father is." Lukas mused.

"You do?"

"Yea, I saw him a couple of times in the community magic club."

Mathias dropped his jaw.

"His magic tricks suck though." Lukas sneered.

The other three face-palmed.

"I think you guys are performing a cult." Mathias teased before getting another lump on his head.

oOo

Emil sat at the corner of the park. He watched Leon carry a basket of candies and chat with the kids. It had been weeks since their first encounter. They had exchanged their phone numbers and met up often. Usually, they hung out in the park or strolled down the streets. They went to the beach once but Emil couldn't stand the sun.

"One for you, and one for you. Which flavour did you say you want again? Watermelon! Great, I love that too. You? Mango. Okay! I've got some more pineapple ones. Uh oh, no more chocolate flavour. Would you want a lemon one instead? Haha, no, it's not that sour, kiddo. It's sweet!"

Emil smiled as Leon did a casual spin in front of the children. His costume still looked ridiculous.

"Panda! Panda! Can you show me how to shoot a basket? I always miss the shot in gym lessons!"

"Sure!"

Leon put down his basket and got the ball from the kid. He turned and aimed at the basket on the court. The ball went straight into it and bounced on the ground.

"Wow! Do it again, please!"

Leon kept tossing the ball into the basket and showed the kid the correct angles to get the shot.

He paused and glimpsed Emil.

"No way." Emil shook his head.

"Come on, you can do it." Leon smiled and turned to the kid. "Do you know this big brother here is even a better shooter than me?"

"Leon!"

"Really?" The small boy widened his eyes inquisitively.

"Yes!"

Quickly, Leon pushed Emil's wheelchair to the middle of the court.

"What do you think you're doing?" Emil hissed and glared at Leon.

"Try it."

"It's been three years. I can't even-" Emil gasped when the ball was shoved into his hands.

"Now, watch and learn, kiddo." Leon nudged the kid.

Emil groaned and stared at the basket. He raised his arms and concentrated on the target. He flung the ball. It went into the basket.

The children gathered around and gasped.

"See? Told ya. Learn some real things here." Leon winked at the kids.

"Wow! Can you do that again? Again!"

The kids jumped around and begged Emil.

Leon picked up the ball and handed it back to his friend.

"Fine, just this once." Emil grunted and shot the ball again.

They ended up fooling around with the kids for two hours.

"I can't believe you did that to me!" Emil croaked when they were heading back to the café.

"But you did it."

"Shut up. What if I didn't. It's embarrassing. They would be so disappointed."

"Emil." Leon stopped the wheelchair and walked to the front. He kneeled down and stared up at Emil. "You know you can do it. You just need more confidence."

"I haven't played basketball for years...since that incident," Emil trailed off.

"I'd love to hear more." Leon smiled. "Can you tell me your story?"

And so, he told him.

He hadn't revealed this to anyone in years. He was the crown of the school's sports team. There was not a thing he couldn't do. He was particularly talented in basketball. Matches and contests queued up for him. He had won trophies. Medals. People's applauses. He never missed a shot. He was the fastest runner on the track. An agile jumper. There were so many prospects ahead. He almost got recruited into the national team.

"And that was when the accident happened," Emil said calmly, drinking his mocha. "Lukas and Mathias thought it was their fault but I had only myself to blame."

"What happened?" Leon asked.

"We went hiking. It wasn't a perfect day for hiking. The trails were stacked with pebbles and rocks. Slippery after rain. We went up to the hill. Was taking photos when my feet slipped. I fell off the cliff."

Leon blinked. Emil cut a slice of tiramisu cake and put it on his plate.

"How's the cake, boys?" Yan shouted from the counter.

"Mum, stop interrupting us!" Leon yelled back.

"I need to know if I'm any good at making Western desserts aru! Your good-for-nothing father just taunted me!"

"I just said you need more practices! I didn't taunt you, love!" Arthur whined.

"Shut up or you aren't getting any dinner tonight!" Yan hit her husband's head with the tray.

"That fucking hurts!"

"Watch your language aru!" She hit him with a wok.

"Anyway, the weather was extremely terrible that day. They couldn't find me. The rescue was delayed. I survived but they couldn't fix my legs."

"Were they broken?"

"Yea, kind of bent and twisted. Some muscle tissues died. Down here." Emil tapped his left leg and sighed. "I remembered crying the second I woke up. I knew something went wrong. I knew I had lost something precious. Lukas couldn't stop accusing himself. I went nuts, basically. Tossing stuff. Wailing in the ward. A match was coming up. I couldn't get into the national team. I would never be able to play basketball anymore."

"But I think you could," Leon pointed out. "You just have to believe in yourself more."

"I'm a handicap. They all left me- my friends." Emil mumbled, "I guess what hurts the most is when you realise that those people you genuinely regard as friends have only been taking advantages of your popularity. They leave once they know you benefit them no more."

Emil chewed the cake and turned to the counter, "Ma'dam, the cake is great!"

"Really?" Yan bounced up from the counter like a kid who just got praised for the first time.

"Yes, the proportion of cheese is just right! Love it."

"Did you hear that? He said it's delicious!" Yan nudged Arthur's elbow. He grunted, "He's probably just flattering you."

"Can you at least praise me once in a while? I've been working so hard aru!"

"Right, right." The blond chuckled and kissed her swiftly. "There, there, better? Ouch!"

"Not in front of the kids, you pervert." She pinched him in the arm.

Leon grimaced, "You know we could always hang out in another place."

"No, no, that's comical." Emil laughed. "I haven't seen something so sweet in a while. I used to have a girlfriend but she left too, after what happened to my legs."

"At least, you have experienced friendship and romance before." Leon giggled. "I've never dated anyone or had any sorts of friends. Maybe I did have a couple of friends when I was little but after I moved here, we lost contacts. You see, I don't go to school often. Most of the days I don't feel well and have to stay at home. I can't make any friends."

"Is there a cure?" Emil asked.

Leon stared at his slice of cake and took a mouthful of it.

"I'd really like to play basketball with you." Leon smiled. "It has to be fun."

"Yea…I wish I could just get these goddamn legs walk."

"I think," Leon said and scratched his head. "I, kinda, like you."

Emil blinked hollowly at the other boy.

A blush crept across his face.

(5)

"Champ, are you alright?" Arthur knocked on the door.

"What are you looking for?" Yan gasped as she barged into the room. Their son was turning the place upside down, rummaging in the drawers and shelves.

"I can't find that letter…" Leon muttered.

"What letter?" Arthur asked.

"The one the hospital sent us." Leon closed his drawer and walked towards his parents. "I want to do it."

"What?"

"The surgery." Leon smiled. "Can I?"

Arthur and Yan exchanged a glance.

"No, we won't allow it." Yan shook her head.

"Why?"

"It's too risky!"

"So?"

"Do you even know what you're talking about?" Arthur frowned.

"Yes, I do." Leon nodded. "I've been thinking about that for some time and now I've made up my mind."

The boy took a step forward and faced the couple.

"I want it so badly."

oOo

Lollipops. Balloons. Trinkets. They scattered on the shelf. They were all gifts from Leon. They came various colours.

Emil grabbed a packet of gummy bears. Leon had a sweet tooth. He said the medicine he took was always bitter. Sweet things made his life better.

The taste of those aromatic lips lingered. How long ago did he last kiss someone? He couldn't remember.

There was cream on his lips. Leon had bent forward and licked it off.

The candy eventually melted in his mouth.

Emil never thought he would let anyone enter his world again. Yet, this sweetness exploding in his body was so rejuvenating. It felt like walking on the moors and embracing the bright blue sky. Leon always smelled enticing. Of something sweet. Something like blossoms in the spring. He had asked what kind of shampoo and detergents he used. He had tried to copy him but still that fragrance only belonged to the panda boy.

"Xiang means 'fragrant'?" Emil smiled in amusement. He couldn't stop checking out Leon's photos on Facebook. Most of the photos captured children in the playground, small animals like puppies and kittens, the food his mum made, the tea his father brewed. There was one selfie he took near a lake. He had a wide grin on his face and his trademark "yo' gesture.

Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't too bad to fall in love again.

oOo

He saw Leon at school. They had a common course on global trades. Leon skipped the class occasionally. He said it was more fun to hang out with the kids in the theme park. Since he had met Emil, he started attending lectures more regularly. They would have lunch at the cafeteria. Just the two of them.

It got more convenient. Leon would push his wheelchair and carry his bags, but Emil didn't want to depend on him.

One day, Leon raised the question.

"Have you ever thought of what you want to do after graduation?"

"No," Emil replied curtly. "I can't do much anyway."

"Wanna, like, help out at the café with me?" Leon smiled, "I don't want to do it alone. Most of the time when they ask me to help out, I slip away to the park."

"You serious?"

"I like cooking. I'd love to make desserts. Sweet yummy desserts. Kids love those. Maybe I will give them out for free."

"Are you sure your dad is okay with that?" Emil laughed.

"Everyone deserves something good in life, don't they?" Leon said.

Emil stared silently at him. Those brown orbs never faltered. Limpid. Full of energy.

"At least, that's what I think." Leon giggled. "So, you ought to be happy, Emil. Life is too short to dwell on the past. Let's play basketball with the kids sometimes. I wish I could run."

"Don't strain yourself."

"You never know the opportunities." Leon grinned and placed his palm on Emil's hand. "Even if there is just one percent of chance, there's hope. Don't you agree?"

"I'm not that optimistic." Emil chuckled.

"Then, I shall prove it to you." Leon laughed and pecked at his cheek.

(6)

It turned out the one percent chance was so much more than it sounded.

When Lukas got the call from Arthur, it was past midnight. He stomped upstairs and right into the room.

Emil woke up when he heard his brother pant.

"Lukas?"

"He's in the hospital."

He slid out of bed immediately, almost forgetting about his legs. His heart pounded. He remembered that Leon once told him he was forbidden to love someone. If his heart started racing, he would faint. Love could kill him.

That's why he had never been able to date anyone.

A simple kiss could make his heart pound twice faster than usual.

He couldn't imagine anything more intimate than that.

Lukas drove him to the hospital. He didn't know then, that Leon was taking the operation for real. He had thought everything he said and did was just to motivation him. He was used to Lukas' reassurance. Mathias and the others loved to keep their words encouraging. He thought Leon was doing the same to cheer him up.

Arthur was sitting on a bench outside the room. Yan was pacing around. They both turned when they heard Emil's wheelchair.

"Where's he?" That was a foolish question. Still, Emil would wish Leon hadn't taken the risk. He wanted him to leap out from somewhere and yell it was a joke.

"Inside." Arthur gestured to the operation room.

"He hasn't told you that?" Yan frowned.

"No…" Emil shook his head. "He's never said anything about this!"

"I should've known." Arthur sighed and leaned back against the chair.

"How's it going?"

"It's going to take ten more hours or so," Yan sobbed and sat down next to Arthur, who wrapped his arm around her. "Do you even know that he might not come out alive?"

Emil blinked. His face paled.

"We've tried to stop him," said Yan. "A surgery like this is too dangerous. Even the doctor said so. His body can't make it. Very few cases have succeeded. We normally don't want to take any risks. We agreed on abandoning this option years ago, but Leon brought it up again."

"Is he…going to get a heart transplant or…" Emil stuttered. He found himself quavering at every word. The imagination alone made him freeze.

"If it turns out fine, he'll be able to live like a normal person," Arthur said.

"But the chances are low. His immune system has always been weaker than normal people's. We're well prepared for the outcome. Even Leon himself is certain of the decision. We just thought you should at least be notified," Yan said.

"He's going to be okay," Emil blurted out. "He has to be."

The couple stared at him in awe.

"He believes so. That's what he said to me. If we have faith in something, we will always stand the chance."

Yan wiped her tears and smiled, "Is that so?"

"He said…" Emil stopped. He didn't realise he was crying until he tasted the salt. Bitter. He tore open a wrapper and popped the candy into his mouth. Still bitter.

"He told me that he wants to travel with you. Run, hike, play ball games, ride on a roller coaster..."

"He said no one has made his heart jump that way aru. He wants to savour that moment, forever."

"Did he…really say that?"

"And he said..." Arthur frowned, eyes brimming with tears. "If he could just get stronger, he might help you walk and catch the dreams you once wanted to pursue."

"What an idiot…" Emil chuckled and wiped the tears with the back of his hands. "So stupid…he thinks he understands me. My dream has already come true since I met him."

(7)

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The machine beat rhythmically beside him.

Emil placed his ear on the chest. The heartbeat rang in the air.

Riding down. Riding down.

My hand on your seat.

The whole way round.

I carry band-aids on me now.

For when your soft hands hit the jagged ground.

He hummed.

Balloons filled the room.

The scar stretched long on Leon's chest. Emil watched it rise and fall. Soft touches.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Wheels aren't even touching the ground.

Scared to take them off but they're so worn down.

Promise I won't push you straight to the dirt.

If you promise me you'll take them off first.

He put the candies on the nightstand. Light filtered into the room. The sun rose.

The day had never been brighter.

Love everything you do.

When you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do.

I wanna ride my bike with you. Fully undressed.

No training wheels left for you. I'll pull them off for you.

The music played on his ipod.

He rose up to his feet. Painful but sweet. He drew on all his strength and took a step forward. Before he fell straight to the ground, he held onto the rim of the bed. He reached the mattress and bent down. That fragrance. Now he knew what it was. Bauhinia. Definitely bauhinia. The flowers Leon planted in his garden.

"It's time to wake up, sleepy head," Emil whispered.

Their lips touched.

Brown orbs opened to meet the light.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

A beating heart.

The feeling of first love. Sweet lollipops. Flying balloons.

Leon caressed the cheeks in front of him. The face he thought he might not see again for a second on that surgery bed.

"And you're right. Even one percent can work out miracles," Emil smiled brightly.

Leon stifled a laugh.

"Do you know," he grinned and said, "there's, like, so much I want to do with you besides holding your hands, cuddling and kissing you."

"Oh." Emil raised one of his eyebrows and curved his lips upwards. "I can't wait."

He leaned in to kiss those lips once more.