Lesson 1
A Good Dream

Sighing in frustration, I resisted the urge to massage my temples. Instead, I leaned back into my chair, fished out a cigarette and lit it up. Inhaling, I stared at the ceiling, watching the tiny puffs of smoke waft upwards, before billowing against it.

It was a bit of a habit I'd picked up, in the last couple of years. It brought back memories of a winkled old man with a fond, if exasperated, smile in a funny hat, and another man with a mane of white hair and red streaks below his eyes. I guess you could say it was a habit passed down from teacher to student. After awhile, it had also become something of a calming act. Which, if you knew me at all, you'd know that I was in sore need of such things.

Grinning, I lost myself in thoughts of those I hadn't seen in what felt like a lifetime. But then my eye drifted downward and caught sight of the thing that had set me off in the first place.

"Why the hell can't any of these damn kids write for shit?!"

A fist slammed into the desk, jostling the veritable mountain of papers on top of it, and it took me a moment to realize it was my own. If I didn't need to go over and revise each and every single one of them, I'd burn the whole damn lot of these papers. Growling, I picked up the nearest one, skimming through it quickly and pointing out all the errors. When I was done, I marked it in large, red ink. Barely passable, according to the school defined grading system.

Which I called bullshit on, because I'd seen smut written better than a great deal of these horrible, barely legible short stories.

How the hell did I end up as a school teacher again?

Oh right. I'd been hassled into filling in as a substitute and the bastard I'd been subbing for had never deigned to come back. And for the last 4 years, I'd been stuck here.

Well, okay, technically the school board had tried to remove me after, like, 4 days. But! Nobody, and I mean nobody, fires Uzumaki Naruto! I had a job to do, dammit, and I wasn't leaving until these damn kids were edjumicated! Even if they did seem particularly adverse to actually absorbing what I freaking taught them!

Gah!

Sometimes, I thought it was karmic vengeance for my delinquency back when I was in the academy. Then I reminded myself that I'd been the perfect little hellion, thank you very much, and pranking had been some serious business. However, I did recognize that my current job was quite a few steps down from where I'd been beforehand.

Then again, pretty much anything was a step down from 'Savior of the World.'

Fucking Kaguya. Fucking Kamui. Fucking end of the world apocalypse.

That bunny eared bitch just couldn't take losing like the good little demented rabbit goddess that she was. No, she just had to open up one last portal and chuck me and the good ol' bastard, Sasuke, through. Still have no idea what happened to him. For all I know, he'd gotten lucky and ended up in a dimension full of never-ending ramen.

Mmm. Ramen.

Anyway, that was...5 years ago? Man things had been confusing when I'd first landed here. Hadn't realized I was in a completely new dimension until a couple days in. Apparently the locals spoke Elemental. The culture was petty similar too, actually. Kurama had a few theories about that, but I tended to just tune him out and take it in stride. Honestly, the first year had been pretty damn weird, getting used to this place. I mean, I'd also spent the majority of my time fruitlessly attempting to get back to my world, but that hadn't really panned out.

Seriously. The one time I'd gotten anywhere close, I was thrown back into this dimension ass over teakettle with bruises on my bruises. Evidently, there happens to be a giant ass fucking dragon of all things wandering the space between worlds.

Who knew?

Incidentally, it was a bit after that, that I decided to take up smoking.

And since then, it had just been this. Grading paper after paper, trying to instill some modicum of writing literacy in my students and doing pretty much jack all else.

I mean, I'd always kind of figured I'd take on some students someday, you know? Teaching was something I respected, since a lot of the people I looked up to had been my teachers. Iruka. Kakashi. Jiraiya. Even the Old Man had taught me a few things when I was younger. So I didn't mind teaching, not really. If it was anything, it was what I was teaching. Writing, for all that I'm good at it -after all, being forced to be Jiriaya's editor made you learn a few things- just wasn't what I was most interested in.

The last few years had just been so...dull.

Sighing once more, I tapped the remains of my cigarette into the ashtray on my desk and stood up. I'd have a shadow clone go through the rest of the papers later. For now, I couldn't stand to see any more improper punctuation or misspelled words.

It was time for some ramen.

"And that concludes this week's report on the status of our school gymnasium. As you can see, after the last game between Miss Shitori and Miss Gremory, it's in dire need of repairs." A tall, dull looking man in glasses droned on.

I'm pretty sure I've worked with this guy for 4 years, and for some reason I have no idea what his name is. I know I learned it at some point, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. Or what he teaches. Or even what he was just talking about really. But that might just be because I'd just spent the last 15 minutes trying to remember his name.

"Thank you, Shirohama-san, for that detailed report. I believe that was the last thing on the menu for today's staff meeting?" Another dull looking person whom I couldn't remember the name of said. I think it started with a W?

Bah. Why were these Staff Meetings always so boring? It's not like I ever contributed anything! I'm pretty sure I could skip out and nothing would change!

Come to think of it, why didn't I do that?

Just as the mind numbing horror of the fact that I could have skipped these damn meetings crept upon me, I was hit by another whammy, like a hammer to the gut.

"There's just the matter of who's to handle this week's detention. I believe this week, the scheduled teacher is...Uzumaki-san?" He said questioningly. And then, as one, all of my coworkers' heads turned towards me as my mouth opened in utmost horror.

"You can't be serious!" I nearly shouted, "What have I done to deserve having the damnable little blighters stuck on me?" I asked frantically.

One of them looked down at their clipboard, shifting their glasses for a better look. "It seems more that it has to do with the fact that you've done nothing else, Uzumaki-san. You've never been the teacher on duty for detention a single time. How that's possible, I've no idea," He was interrupted by bouts of fake coughing and plenty of grumbling, "but the fact remains. Besides, I believe the only one to actually get detention this week is one...Hyoudou Issei, I believe."

I groaned audibly as I slumped into my chair. It seems they'd finally caught on to my scheming. I'd mess with the charts and schedule regularly to make sure and wipe my name from it, so i wouldn't be saddled with such nonsense. One of them must have kept a copy a their house or something.

"Fine, whatever, I'll handle the damn detention. What's the kid in for, anyway?"

One of the female teachers frowned in distaste, before speaking. "He was caught peeking on the school kendo club. This is his 5th offense. Why he hasn't been expelled yet, I don't know."

Stifling a snort, I nearly grinned. Peeking? Man, that brought back memories of a certain perverted old hermit. Still, there was no way this kid could be that perverted. Jiraiya was just on a whole other level.

The scraping of chairs against the floor drew my attention and I realized it was time to go. Scowling a bit, I stood as well, gesturing a half-hearted farewell as I exited the room and began to roam the hallway. If I took my time, I'd have a few minutes to think of something for this kid's detention. Sure, I could just have him write lines or make him write an essay or some other pansy ass shit, but that just seemed half-assed. I may not have wanted Detention Duty, but that didn't mean I was going to slack off.

My first few ideas were thrown away as soon as I came up with them. The typical punishments I'd grown up with wouldn't really fly here. I'd found that this world, generally speaking, was a bit more...soft, when it came to their kids and even just their day to day lives in general. Sure, they had war, and soldiers and crime and their fair share of horrible people, but most just weren't used to stark reality of a war torn world where you grew up being told the best thing you could do is fight, kill and die for your country. Hell, not even your country, just your village.

If they didn't make for a great figurehead and a way to shore up resources and manpower, most Hidden Villages wouldn't pause for a second to turn around and lop off the head of their local daimyo. Which was probably why relations between Villages and the Daimyo were always so tenuous. The Daimyo knew they were only in charge by grace of the fact that the Shinobi let them be in charge.

So yeah, in this world throwing a kid off a cliff and expecting him to survive was somehow seen as wrong and criminally insane.

By the time I reached the door to to Hyoudou's classroom I still hadn't thought of a suitable punishment. However, I couldn't just put things off, so I opened the door and stepped in, taking my place at the front of the room and finally getting a good look at my charge. I was silent as I took him in, still trying to think of something to punish him with.

He was wearing the Kuoh Academy uniform, and had this kind of panicked expression on his face. Like he had to really go to the bathroom or something. Meh, I ignored it and kept on observing. Brown hair in ruffled locks, an average looking face with brown eyes and no hint of muscles that i could see. All in all, he was...extremely average looking.

Hrmm. As I stared at him some more, my mind was turning. I think I knew how to punish this kid.

Hyoudou Issei was in a state of panic. This year, despite seeming to have started off great, had not been going as planned at all. Somehow, someway, he'd managed to score well enough on his tests at the end of the last school year and had gotten into the very prestigious school known as Kuoh Academy. A former all girl's school that had only become co-ed recently, it had seemed like a dream come true. The first step of grand plan, leading up to his ultimate goal!

Unfortunately, things had not really worked out. Despite doing his utmost best, he had so far failed to find himself a girlfriend. In fact, one could say he'd gone the other way, and instead alienated himself from the entire female half of the school. Something about how being honest and upfront about his perverseness being a huge turn off. But they didn't understand! It was perfectly natural for a teenage male to think about such things! At least he was honest, at least he didn't pretend to have any other motives!

Still, that reasoning just didn't seem to fly. And so, in his desperation, he'd taken to getting as good and as many a peak as he could at his female classmates. He'd even made some tentative friends! Well, he thought they were friends anyway, but they always seemed to ditch him when they were about to be caught.

You'd think that after 5 times in a row, he'd learn to ditch them before they did it to him. But alas, he was ever trusting and ever tempted by the allure of the sight of the female form. So, in their lat adventure, wherein they'd found a great spot to look in on the girl's kendo team, he'd been once more the only one caught. Which, honestly, wasn't too bad aside from the minor bruises and welts the kendo club had given him. The detentions were boring, but that was it. Nothing to worry about.

That what he'd thought, anyway. Right up until he'd been told that Uzumaki-Sensei would be overseeing his detention.

Issei might have been a first year, but it didn't take long for one to hear about Uzumaki-Sensei. For someone who taught at a prestigious school like Kuoh Academy, he didn't act like it at all! He was supposed to be the most fearsome teacher in school! He terrorized his students, grading them harsher than any other. He smoked constantly during class and had no sense for politeness.

It was said that the school board had tried firing him several different times, and each time he refused to leave. When the teacher they'd hired to replace him had shown up, the replacement was found strung up on the school flag pole in nothing but his underwear covered in pink paint and body glitter! They'd even called the local police in to haul him off, but the police hadn't even been able to make it up to the second floor as they fell to his many traps. Apparently, the cops were still sore over it and continue to try again and again each month.

And Issei's detention was being overseen by a crazy guy like that? There was no way he'd survive!

Just as he was about to start hyperventilating, his thoughts were interrupted by the door to the classroom abruptly sliding open and the teacher in question stepping through. As he did, Issei went ramrod straight, sweat trickling down the back of his neck as he dreadfully anticipated his punishment. He waited as Uzumaki-sensei stood at the front of the room, his fierce blue eyes feeling like they were piercing into Issei's very soul as the teacher examined him. Seconds felt like minutes as he just stood silently at the front, not making a move, even as it only served to make the perverted student more nervous.

Not even trying to distract himself from that gaze by examining his teacher in kind worked! Uzumaki-sensei hadn't said a single thing and yet it felt like his life wash flashing before his eyes. Just what kind of person was this?!

Feeling like he was about to have a heart attack, his blonde teacher finally spoke. "Alright, I've decided. Follow me, kid." And with that, he turned around and left through the door he had just come through.

Slumping down in his chair, Issei let out a sigh of relief. He was alive? Patting himself down to make sure, he felt like cheering, but reminded himself it wasn't over yet. "Ah!" Uzumaki-sensei was already halfway down the hall! Frantically he scrambled to follow after him, wondering just where they were going. In addition, Issei couldn't help his eyes traveling to the back of his teacher's head.

Now that he'd calmed down a bit, he'd been able to actually figure out what his teacher looked like. Honestly, with rough, unkempt locks of blonde hair and a rugged face marred with what looked like scars in the shape of whiskers, he had a hard time believing the man was a teacher. Plus, the simple black suit he was wearing was kept open and ruffled, like the man had put the thing on as an after thought. If he's seen him walking down the side of the road like, you'd never believe he was a teacher at such a prestigious academy!

Not only that, but when he'd stepped into the room...it was like his mind had gone blank with terror. Truthfully, Issei knew he'd worked himself up as he was wont to do, but that had been something else. That hadn't been fear born from a wild imagination! It was more like every sense he had available to him, that deep primal instinct buried deep in his psyche, all of it had told him to flee at the first chance he got! How did anyone have such a presence?

But...the moment he'd spoken, it was like something had broken the spell. There was no trace of that frightful pressure, that made him feel like he could die at any moment. Had he just been imagining things? No, that was impossible. He'd just been thinking about how the fear had been entirely unlike anything he'd ever felt before, beyond any kind of petty half-assed thoughts and premonitions!

Shaking his head to clear it of such things, he looked up and made a sound of surprised confusion. "Eh?" They were heading into the school gym. At this time of day it'd be empty. Why were they going there? As the doors swung open and Issei followed his teacher inside, he let out another, louder, sound of surprise.

"EH?"

The whole place was absolutely wrecked! Mats were thrown all over the place, there were deep troughs in the floor and were those crated in the wall?! Dust and debris were everywhere, broken equipment and deflated balls of every variety were spread out along the floor. Stopping in place as his head shot around looking at all the damage, he couldn't believe it. Had a tornado swept through this place or something?!

The quick click of a lighter and the hiss of a flame drew his attention back to Uzumaki-sensei, and he saw the man lighting up a cigarette he had pulled from his breast pocket. As the blonde stuck it in his mouth, Issei couldn't quite suppress his disbelief at a teacher so openly smoking like that on school grounds.

Taking a drag from his cancerous deathstick, and letting out a subsequent cloud of smoke, his teacher finally spoke once more. "Alright then, kid, this how it goes. For your punishment, I'm gonna give you a choice."

Cocking his head to the side, Issei let out, "Huh? A choice? What kind of choice, Sensei?"

That sense of foreboding came back as he saw the smirk creeping onto his teacher's face. As he spread his arms out wide, gesturing to the wreckage around them, he said, "Either you can spend the next few hours doing your damned best to clean this place up -and trust me when i say I'll make sure you do your best- and most likely go home tired, sore and beat. Or..." The blonde drifted off.

Despite himself, Issei couldn't help but fall for the obvious ploy. There was no way he wanted to pick this place up! It looked like a disaster area!

Uzumaki-sensei just smirked some more, as he continued, "Or," here he bent down, picking something up off the ground and throwing it towards Issei, who stumbled as he caught it. "Or, you can try and beat me in a kendo match. The way I see it, maybe if you learn the kind of effort those girls put into their practice, you might just figure out how disrespectful you are when you act like such a punk. If you can get even a single clean hit on me, I'll let you go home."

Dumbly, Issei just looked down at the shinai in his hands, the wooden practice blade feeling a bit awkward in his grip from how he was holding it. Looking up at his teacher, he asked, "Huh? Is that even allowed, sensei?"

In answer, the man simply let out a snort. "Who the hell cares if it's allowed or not. What are they gonna do, fire me?" The last was said so sarcastically and with such nonchalance, Issei all but gawked. This guy...he really didn't care at all, did he?! "So then kid, what'll it be? Go home sore and tired, or go home sore, tired and bruised?"

Issei's eyes tracked down once more to the wooden sword in his hands. He'd never used one of the things in his life. The most he knew about swordfighting was the play fights he used to have as a kid, swinging small wooden sticks wildly around. There was no way he could win against someone who knew what they were doing, and from Uzumaki-sensei's confidence he probably did know what he was doing.

However...he didn't need to win. All Issei had to do was get a single hit in. That didn't seem so hard. Yeah, if it was just that, eh could definitely do it! And if he got home early enough, he'd still have enough time to watch that video Matsuda had lent him!

As a surge of energy spread through him, Issei said, "Yosh! Let's do this, Uzumaki-sensei! I'll get that hit in no time!" And like that, he grabbed the end of the shinai with both hands and charged, intent on fulfilling his claim.

It wouldn't be that easy however, as the brown haired student's wide swing hit nothing but air, his momentum carrying him forward and making him stumble. Barely keeping himself upright, he turned to find his opponent, only to see a brown wooden blur slashing towards his face. He didn't even have time to try and block as it smashed into him and pain flared across his cheek as he once more stumbled.

Hissing in pain, he brought a hand up to hold his face as he forced an eye open to look at his teacher who now had his own wooden blade swung across his shoulders. "It won't be that easy, kid. Just because I've got better things to do than babysit your pathetic ass doesn't mean I'll go light on you."

Frowning as he rubbed at the sore spot on his face, Issei's eyes tightened in determination. Placing both hands back on the wooden blade he once again charged, letting out a battlecry as he swung and swung and swung, aiming as hard as he could at his cocky blonde opponent. To his dismay, however, each slash met nothing but air as the other man swiftly evaded his attacks. Before he was able to turn to face him once more, a sharp pain lanced across his back and a rush of air forced itself from his lungs.

Almost going down onto his knees, he shook himself and bent back up only to charge back in once more.

For his part, the teacher just sighed as he dodged each clumsy attack, stepping from right, to left to back again. To Issei, it was like even as he saw the man's feet move he couldn't tell where he was going next. How was he doing that? The teenager didn't think he'd ever seen anyone move like that!

Breathing hard as air was sucked into his lungs only to be hastily expelled, he cried out as instead of dodging his last attack, Uzumaki-sensei's blade met his own, turning it aside and leaving it wide open for a quick blow to his chest. Reeling from the strike, he was unable to keep from falling on his ass, the wooden blade clattering on the ground beside him. Taking the chance to rest and recover, Issei's chest heaved as he breathed hard.

Dammit! It had sounded so easy, but why was it so hard to get a single hit in?!

His teacher yawned, showing just how unaffected he was by their so far short battle. It was like he wasn't even worried at all! "Man, I knew you'd be bad at this kid, but that was just pathetic. You sure you still wanna go this route? It's not too late to change your mind, you know."

To hell with that! This wasn't just about getting out of detention anymore, to Issei his pride as a man was on the line! How could he call himself any kind of a man if he couldn't land a single damn hit? Growling a bit, he forced himself back up onto his legs, grabbing the practice blade once more as he glared at the blonde.

"Hmph. Alright then. But let me just say this, kid. As you are right now, you won't ever be able to get a hit in."

Frustration creeping into his voice, he asked, "Oh yeah? And why the hell is that?"

His teacher simply stood in a casual stance, as if unworried about any kind of sudden attack. There was this uncaring, apathetic look on his face, and his eyes were half-lidded, like he was barely paying attention. It was annoying as all hell!

Watching as the man placed a pinky in his ear to dig out the wax, instead of answering he said, "Let me ask you this, then. What's your goal in life? Your dream? What exactly is most important to you, huh?"

Eh? Stunned at the question, Issei let his stance loosen a bit in surprises as he digested the question. "What kind of question is that? That's easy, my dream to is to become the ultimate Harem King!" His voice was bright and enthusiastic, like it always was when he proclaimed his ambition. There was no hesitation or waver to it, just a certainty that he'd one day achieve his goal.

In contrast, his teacher just sighed in disappointment. "The hell kind of dream is that, kid? That's exactly what I'm talking about here. With an attitude like that, it's no wonder your so pathetic."

Those words just caused Issei to scowl. Who was he to look down on somebody else's dream? Sure, he was used to that kind of thing. He was ridiculed every time he voiced it. Nobody really understood his dream, nobody but motohama and matsuda! So he was used to it, he really was. But those eyes! The way his teacher looked at him, not with disgust or ridicule, but real, genuine disappointment, like everything he'd worked these last couple years for was completely idiotic! That look just made his blood boil!

He didn't even realize it when he he started sprinting forward, blade held high. First one step, then two, all the while Uzumaki-sensei just looked at him with those damn infuriating eyes! The bastard didn't twitch a single muscle, even as closed the distance. A surge of triumph washed through him. There was no way he'd be able to dodge from so close! He was going to do it!

Bringing the blade down, he was a hairsbreadth from landing the blow when it was all over in a flash.

As his back hit the mat, it was like everything went in slow motion as he watched the wooden practice blade that had just been in his hand fly, spinning through the air. Issei watched it rotate, once, twice, thrice and then time sped back up to normal and it clattered down right next to his face, making his ears ring.

'Wha...What happened?'

One moment he was about to land the hit, and the next he was on his back with the mother of all bruises slowly forming over his chest. He'd been hit so hard, he was being wracked with coughs, making him slowly sit up as he regained his breath. Oh man, he felt so whoozy the whole room seemed to spin. In the end, it was the click hiss of his teacher's lighter that brought him back to reality.

Letting out a puff of smoke, his teacher sighed once more And then he spoke, and despite himself Issei was enraptured. "A selfish dream like that...Maybe I'm biased -hell, I AM biased- but thinking about yourself, and only yourself...that road doesn't go anywhere good, kid." The blonde scratched his scalp as he paused for a moment, thinking of what else to say. "Honestly, you don't seem like such a bad guy. And you got passion and devotion in spades, even I can tell that much. But your putting all that effort and energy in the wrong place. Are you really going to tell me, that out of all the things you could possibly think of in this world, your dream, your life's goal, is to be a Harem King?"

Issei had ducked his head as his teacher spoke, but at the last comment, almost rebuked him, but before he could it died on his lips.

Uzumaki-sensei was looking at him with those same disappointed eyes, but unlike before Issei could see hints of sadness in them too. Sadness at the fact that he actually saw something in Issei, that the brown haired student could actually make something of himself, and instead was wasting it on a useless dream. It wasn't that his teacher thought he couldn't achieve his dream, it was that he thought Issei could do so much better.

And it was such a stark difference from how it usually was. People always told him his dream was impossible, or that it was a stupid goal to strive for because there was no way he ever make it real.

"And are you really saying you've never had any other dream in your life? Nothing else you ever wanted to achieve? There wasn't a single thing you could feel pride in?"

His teacher's words hit home and Issei couldn't help but think. Had he always wanted a harem? It had been a pretty big part of his daily life for the past 3 or so years, but he hadn't wanted to be a harem king before that, had he? He wouldn't have even known what a harem was much less if he wanted one. Actually, now that Issei thought about it, hadn't he had a dream from before that? A silly, child-like dream spawned from a promise between two childhood friends.

But...but after his friend had moved away, it had felt so hollow and as he grew older everyone would tell him that he needed to grow up. That his dream, that promise he'd made with his single friend had been juvenile and idiotic. When had he given up on that dream? Had he moved on to wanting to become a Harem King in a fit of adolescent rebellion? A way to snub those who told him his dream was naive, by coming up with an even more ridiculous one?

He couldn't remember. But then, why was it that when he remembered his old dream, his new one seem so...hollow. Like the last shreds of a tattered cloth, a shadow clinging to the barest hints of existence.

As he knelt on the ground, he hung his head. Issei barely noticed when Uzumaki-sensei sat down on the mat next to him, smoking in silence before he let out one last comment.

"I'm not saying perversion isn't a worthwhile endeavor. Hell, some of the strongest guys I knew and respected were perverted as hell. One of them was even more of a perv than you, believe it or not. But they all had something else to drive them, something that made em great. They could stop and smell the flowers, as it were, but it wasn't all they lived for. So don't get sidetracked by the scent of a few pretty flowers and let life pass you by, kid. You'll end up regretting."

Issei could feel something wet pooling up in the corner of his eyes, and his chest felt tight. His mouth opened, but no words formed, as he felt like he was choking. It seemed like a lost cause, but then, miraculously, he managed to say, "I...I wanted to be...a superhero." The words were quiet, barely audible, and choked out. But nonetheless, his teacher made a sounds of agreement.

And then he said the words that Issei had always wanted to here, but never had.

"Maa...that's a good dream."

A/N: My main gripe with DxD has always been the horrible, horrible rampant perversity and one dimensional nature of Issei as a character. So, I decided to see if I could change that a bit and went with a bit of a common theme I've seen in DxD fics where in his younger days, he and Irina both promised to become heroes of justice Emiya-Family Style. Honestly can't remmeber if this is canon or not, but I'm rolling with it.

This will be a short story. Not sure how many chapters I'll write, but I don't plan on having too many. Events will mostly play from Naruto's viewpoint, with the perspective of someone else now and then. As the main character, naruto's scene's will be in first person. Everyone else will be in third person.