Chapter One: She Doesn't Ask

October 22, 1999

3:04pm

"Mildred!" Maud Moonshine exclaimed, and rushed over to her best friend.

Mildred fell to her knees and clutched her profusely bleeding nose, "mmFine…" she obstinately murmured. She squeezed her eyes shut in response to the sharp pain.

"Oops," Ethel Hallow remarked dryly, having been the source of Mildred's injury.

Maud, at Mildred's side, shot Ethel a death glare. "You did that on purpose! Miss Drill told us not to aim the ball at each others heads!"

Imogen Drill, overhearing the commotion, jogged over to Maud & Mildred. She regarded her injured young pupil with a sigh, and gently said, "Mildred, come with me. We'll take care of your injury. And Ethel…you are to report to the headmistresses' office immediately."

Ethel rolled her eyes, and began to trudge back from the open field that they had been playing dodgeball in towards the castle.

Mildred shook Maud's hand from her back and stood, complying with Imogens instructions. Imogen attempted to take her arm but Mildred pulled away and muttered, "Mmmfine, Miss. Cnwalk onmmown."

That's odd Imogen thought, but did not attempt to touch her pupil again.

3:12pm

Imogen led Mildred to her office; a poorly cramped room that Amelia Cackle had hastily assigned to her on her first day of work. She guided Mildred to sit onto the chair across from her desk, and gathered a handful of tissues which she subsequently instructed the young girl to bunch up under her nose with her left hand.

"Now, with your right hand," Imogen instructed, "pinch the bridge of your nose. Then tilt your head back. That's it." Mildred complied, and Imogen noted how her pupil tracked her every movement, in an almost neurotic fashion.

After several minutes, the bleeding from the young girls nose had subsided, and Imogen approached her with a damp cloth. "Here, use this to clean your face. Those robes will need washing." Mildred looked at the cloth suspiciously, then hastily took it from her physical education teachers hands. She disposed of the red-stained tissues and proceeded to wipe her face free of dried blood.

Imogen stepped away from her, and sat on the rickety chair on the other side of her desk. Once Mildred had sufficiently scrubbed her face clean, Imogen spoke.

"Mildred, in your opinion, did Ethel Hallow intend to hit you with the dodgeball?"

"Dunno," Mildred shrugged her shoulders, and stared down at the sullied cloth in her hands, "the pain makes it really hard to remember, Miss. It could have been my fault."

Truthfully, Imogen had seen Ethel hurl the dodgeball with full force at her adversaries face, but the motive behind her query was to assess Mildred's response to abusive behavior.

"I see," Imogen replied, keeping her facial expression neutral, "but it is rather hard, when following the rules of the game, to hit an opponent square in the nose."

Imogen noted the abrupt clench of Mildred's fists, "I suppose so, Miss. I really don't remember, though."

7:28pm

Mildred absently pushed the cooked carrots around her plate; her appetite had dropped far below baseline after the incident with Ethel during dodgeball. Maud, sitting right beside her at the dining hall table, noted her friends defeated posture and glum expression.

"Mildred, you seem very upset," Maud said tentatively. Mildred shrugged noncommittally in response.

"Maybe you should talk to Ms. Cackles about Ethel?" Maud continued, "She's always pushed us around… but when it gets physical like that I think it's worth telling someone."

Mildred tensed, "Maud, it's hardly worth it. They'll just see me as a tattle-tale." The authorities at this school already see me as an idiot as is.

Maud pushed further, "Regardless of that, this is something that is worth telling."

"Yeah, Mildred," Enid interjected, through a mouthful of mashed potatoes, "Even if rules here aren't always fun for us, you should still use them to your advantage."

Mildred looked up, "I know the both of you care," she said emphatically, hiding a clenched fist under the table, "I just really don't want to talk to any teachers about it."

Maud noted the almost-pleading look in her friends eyes, and sighed in assent. "Okay Mildred, if that's really what you want."

"Even if you don't want to talk to teachers," Enid offered, "I could still make sure that some type of discipline befalls our dear Ethel."

Mildred smiled a bit, then shook her head and said good-humoredly, "That won't be necessary. But I am grateful for that."

Enid grinned and replied, "My offer will stand as long as necessary. You can change your mind at any time."

Maud gave Enid a warning look, "And, if you change your mind about telling Ms. Cackles," she emphasized, "we are both willing to go with you for support."

Enid rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, of course. That too."

Mildred felt a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach. It's nice to know they care.

October 23rd, 1999

3:15pm

"Imogen!" Amelia Cackles exclaimed warmly, and beckoned the teacher into her office. Before Imogen could sit down, Amelia had enveloped her in a hug.

Imogen sunk into the embrace briefly, and pulled back with a glowing smile upon her face. "It's good to see you, boss" she said.

"Likewise! I do apologize for being so absent this term," Amelia said earnestly, and settled into the plush purple chair behind her desk. "I have had some familial issues to contend with," she said gravely.

Imogen took a seat across from Amelia. "Ah, yes. That whole having-an-evil-twin thing must be difficult," she said sympathetically.

Amelia frowned for a millisecond before forcing an overly positive expression and saying, "Yes, well. Everyone has difficulties that must be overcome, I suppose. What brings you here today, Imogen?"

Imogen furrowed her brow. Sometimes the headmistress' neurotic attempts to appear pleasant at all times were unsettling. "I came to speak with you about the incident that occurred during my class yesterday afternoon," she began, "I had the girls play a game of dodgeball and Ethel-"

"Ethel Hallow, yes yes yes," Amelia cut her off abruptly, "you sent her to my office yesterday. She relayed to me that she had not meant to hit Ms. Hubble with the…the dodgerball; but you were convinced that was her intent?"

"It was her intent," Imogen insisted, "I saw her do it. And I saw her smile when it hit Mildred and Mildred's nose started to bleed."

"I see," Amelia said, and leaned back in her chair, "well that is obviously unacceptable. I will have to have a long talk with Ms. Hallow."

"A talk?" Imogen responded, "Amelia, to be frank, she lashed out physically at another student. Shouldn't that warrant detentions and a meeting with the girls father?"

"Oh, Imogen, Imogen," Amelia said, and waved her hand dismissively, "adolescents are very adversarial at this age, especially young women. I will relay the importance of peer respect to Ms. Hallow when I speak to her again."

If you actually speak to her again Imogen thought angrily. She couldn't quite bring herself to resent Amelia, however. She knew that the headmistress' leniency towards Ethel had more to do with Mr. Hallows control over the annual funding that Cackles Academy received and less to do with a genuine laissez-faire attitude towards bullying.

"If that is what you feel is best," Imogen said quietly, and fixed her gaze onto her lap.

"Is Mildred alright, Imogen?" Amelia said, concern evident in her voice, "her nose wasn't broken, was it?"

Imogen looked up. "No, her nose wasn't broken" she responded. But I'm not sure if the rest of her is alright.

"Does she wish to speak with me about the incident?" Amelia pressed.

"No, I think she was embarrassed. She made it clear she did not want to discuss it further," Imogen answered. She bit her lip nervously. She wanted to tell Amelia that the girl was displaying worrisome behavior, but she feared that she was simply projecting her own past onto a student. Her worry was only based on one interaction, after all.

"I can't say that I blame her," Amelia said sympathetically. She then noted the visible distress on her usually happy-go-lucky employees' face.

"Imogen, is something bothering you?" Amelia asked gently.

Imogen looked up. "I'm just exhausted, Amelia. I had trouble sleeping last night," she said quickly, then added with a small smile, "but thank you for asking."

"You could ask Constance to brew a Slumber Draught if the problem persists," Amelia offered, "if you feel comfortable, of course."

Imogen rolled her eyes, "I'm not scared of her Amelia. We are just two very different women."

"That is an understatement, my dear," Amelia said good-naturedly, and cracked a smile.

Imogen laughed. "Fair enough, fair enough boss," she said warmly, and stood from her sitting position. "Thank you, in any case Amelia," she opened her arms.

Amelia stood and accepted her offer with a tight hug. "So good to see you dear," Amelia said lovingly, and patted her back.

3:42pm

After leaving Amelia's office, Imogen decided to take a stroll through the castle grounds to clear her head. She felt guilty that she had not been entirely honest with the headmistress about what irked her, but it had not felt like the right time to bring up her suspicions.

Mildred Hubble had acted exactly like she did when she was thirteen and had to go to the school nurses' office for a nosebleed. That nurse had been incredibly perceptive, and Imogen had been immensely grateful to her for getting her out of a dangerous situation. Of course, the fact that the nurse had physical evidence to report was one of the main reasons that resulted in the removal of Imogen from her home. But the nurse would have never thought to check the back of Imogen's neck for bruises if she had not first picked up on Imogen's fearful behavior.

Imogen sighed. If her hunch about Mildred was correct, the girl had a long and painful road ahead of her.

October 25th, 1999

10:18am

"Mildred, you barely touched your breakfast. Are you sure everything is okay?" Maud asked her friend anxiously.

Mildred, Enid, and Maud had arrived to Potions class early, and were sitting at their respective desks with Mildred in the middle.

"I just don't feel that hungry, Maud" Mildred said, "Maybe my body just doesn't need it."

"Mildred, that's ridiculous," Maud countered, "Girls our age need more caloric intake than the average adult woman."

"Maud, stop with all the book-learnedness," Enid groaned, "it reminds me how lazy I've been this term."

Maud ignored Enid completely. "Not to mention, Mildred," she pressed, "you have had dark circles under your eyes for the past month. Are you sure you're not ill?"

Enid cocked her head thoughtfully and added, "Yeah, Mildred. You usually sleep like the dead. Seriously. Maybe you have that one disease, you know, the one you get from kissing. It supposedly makes you tired all the time."

Mildred rolled her eyes and remarked, "Enid, I don't have a kissing disease. If any of us caught a kissing disease it'd be you."

Enid giggled. Maud opened her mouth, but before she could say anything Constance Hardbroom made her usual dramatic entrance into the Potions classroom.

Mildred was grateful for her Professors presence; it had saved her from expending what little energy she had to deflect Maud's concern. That gratitude dissipated within the first twenty minutes of class. Ms. Hardbroom was in a mood. Luckily for Mildred, however, the Potions Professor was vitriolic towards the entire class, so at least she wasn't being singled out.

Mildred stared out the window, entranced by the deep gray sky that stretched over the castle, bordered by the dark trees of the distant forest. That sky had been home to her first disastrous flying lesson, and she had travelled across it twice now to leave her family for the better part of each year and attend Cackles Academy.

"Mildred Hubble!" Ms. Hardbroom's voice broke through her nostalgia and startled her.

"Yes, Miss?" she answered.

"Would you care to join the rest of us in the present?" the Professor sneered derisively.

"Come upstairs, darling. I have a present for you."

Mildred's stomach turned. Her senses were momentarily overwhelmed by the smell of stale whiskey and the sound of heavy breathing.

It passed.

"I'm here, Miss," Mildred said quietly, and dragged a clenched fist sharply against her thigh. "I'm sorry."

"Very well, Ms. Hubble" Ms. Hardbroom responded, her eyes narrowed with suspicion, "but do not expect my assistance while brewing your draught. You should have been paying attention."

Mildred acknowledged the statement with a curt nod; and tensed all of her muscles to prevent herself from trembling.

11:45am

Mildred had never been so anxious for class to end. Despite multiple attempts at deep breathing, her central nervous system was still hijacked and she only knew of one way to regain control. When Ms. Hardbroom announced that the period had ended, she made haste to tidy up her brewing station. After that task was completed, she told Enid and Maud she was going to the restroom, and would meet them in the dining hall for lunch.

Mildred sought out the girls restroom at the far end of the castle, one that she was certain that none of the girls in her year used. When she arrived, she rushed into the first stall she saw and latched the door firmly behind her.

Mildred reached down into the inner pocket of her robes, and retrieved a small box of razors. She took one of the blades out, momentarily mesmerized by the way the overhead light glinted off of its edge. She dragged the razor across her left wrist once, twice, three times.

Blood ran down Mildred's snow white arm in rivulets. The painful, throbbing sensation overtook her senses, and the panic she had been so desperate to stop feeling finally disappeared.

The teacher wonders, but she doesn't ask

It's hard to see the pain behind the mask

Bearing the burden of a secret storm

Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Authors Note: I take no ownership of the Creative property of Jill Murphy or Martina McBride.